I've tagged this "Incomplete" for now, and left it open for a second chapter. If there's enough demand for a second chapter, I'll consider writing one.
Ahem, next chapter please? Pretty please? Your clopfics have just that little bit more than most on this site and it's always great to read a new one from you
2421350 It's not a question of 'if there's enough demand'... The demand will come... It's more a question of if they'll be patient enough to wait for their 'need' to be sated...
Trying to picture anthro gender-swapped versions of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance was surprisingly difficult. Your narrations helped, but "Gleaming Shield" and "Prince Bolero" aren't as ingrained in the minds of bronies as Rule 63 versions of the mane six.
I think it works great, though.
I'm curious as to your inspirations for Gleaming Shield and Prince Bolero. They both seemed like typical teenagers. Since Shining Armor had a voice like a surfer dude in the show, it makes sense for his gender-swapped counterpart to be a valley girl. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for with her characterization. I may be reading a little too much into it.
Why must every story involving Shining Armor and Twilight have them in this weird Lanister like incest thing?
In other news, damn that constant use of "babe" got annoying. I guess if Bolero is Cadence, then that means he talks like a surfer dude...which is weird, because Shining Armor never talks like a surfer dude. I don't think he's said 'babe' once in the entire show.
As for the clop....it's okay. The incest sub-plot thing kinda was a turn off....
I see half of the featured stories are matured/sex. I guess people stopped being silly about clop and this and that and decided to read what they like, I am just guessing tho :P
I'm game for another chapter, but there are three little quirks I feel you need to address. It's nitpicking and nothing more, otherwise this chapter was cute, sweet, and very sensual.
1 - In most stories, thoughts are displayed through italics, but not with quotation marks.
2 - Dialogue, when merging into a description, is done with a comma. "Blah blah," she said. "Blah blah blah." That's how it's done properly. If you are splitting a line of dialogue, it would read like this: "Blah blah," she said, "blah blah blah."
3 - Might want to kick up your dialogue variety. I'm seeing too many instances of Gleaming and Bolero calling each other cute names at the end of their sentences. Not that cute names are bad, not in the slightest, but it's a little overkill here.
'Tis only nitpicking. Pay it no mind if it please you.
Blue jeans? Really? Of all the things to put male anthro characters in it's blue jeans? Is there some sort of anthro pornographic story high council that decided that all males have blue jeans on prior to sexing?
Honestly I'm half in the mood to write a scathing critique of your style now. And I'm stating that to make myself obligated to do so.
2421350 I think a second chapter is practically a must. Maybe have Gleaming cast the bust enhancing spell on Dusk and teach him what it's like to be a 'mare'.
I've tagged this "Incomplete" for now, and left it open for a second chapter. If there's enough demand for a second chapter, I'll consider writing one.
EDIT:
>featured
Well, the people have spoken, I suppose!
THE PUNS
"If there's enough demand" he says... Sir, you're N. Schmaltz.
Fun. Playful. Can't wait to see what happens next!
And then Dusk became a MAN
Ahem, next chapter please? Pretty please? Your clopfics have just that little bit more than most on this site and it's always great to read a new one from you
Prince Bolero, huh? That's definitely a new for me. Then again, I'm not exactly seeking R63 stories out enough to know what's common.
Nice story though. Pretty enjoyable and good quality.
2421350 It's not a question of 'if there's enough demand'... The demand will come... It's more a question of if they'll be patient enough to wait for their 'need' to be sated...
If Dusk is joining in later, than yes, a second chapter would be awesome.
Excellent story, sir. Bravo!
Trying to picture anthro gender-swapped versions of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance was surprisingly difficult. Your narrations helped, but "Gleaming Shield" and "Prince Bolero" aren't as ingrained in the minds of bronies as Rule 63 versions of the mane six.
I think it works great, though.
I'm curious as to your inspirations for Gleaming Shield and Prince Bolero. They both seemed like typical teenagers. Since Shining Armor had a voice like a surfer dude in the show, it makes sense for his gender-swapped counterpart to be a valley girl. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for with her characterization. I may be reading a little too much into it.
I can't wait to read chapter two!
2421350
Well, consider this one for the "Demand" column, then. Because that was awesome.
Demand * 10^9000
(This enough Demand?)
2421350
IdĀ“like to see a 2nd chapter.
Why must every story involving Shining Armor and Twilight have them in this weird Lanister like incest thing?
In other news, damn that constant use of "babe" got annoying. I guess if Bolero is Cadence, then that means he talks like a surfer dude...which is weird, because Shining Armor never talks like a surfer dude. I don't think he's said 'babe' once in the entire show.
As for the clop....it's okay. The incest sub-plot thing kinda was a turn off....
>featured
>lots of demands
Well then! That's more than enough demand for another chapter, I suppose!
THE
showCLOP MUST GO ON!yes
Mikey likey. Can't wait for the next chapter.
I throw my full support behind this
I approve of this.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/524/558/388.gif
And I want more!
my face when i saw the end 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwmqjzymac1r5gvg1o1_250.gif if you know what i mean
Dusk ShinenxGleaming Shield clop?
Not sure if want
I recognize Atryl's style for the cover, but I don't remember the specific image.
Source?
2427692
http://derpiboo.ru/65445
2427710
Thanks!
Contains: Anthro, Breast Expansion
LOL WAT
I see half of the featured stories are matured/sex. I guess people stopped being silly about clop and this and that and decided to read what they like, I am just guessing tho :P
My friend, You are gifted in the art of the clopfic, I wouldn't say i'm jealous of your skill, but, wow
Give us more, or you may wake one morning to find the head of something you love at the foot of your bed.
Not that I'm threatening you, or anything. I'm just saying...
More please and since the next chapter will be gleamxdusk
Perhaps a third chapter with say a threesome theme hint hint nudge nudge
2427668
I'm pretty sure I don't want. Incest is just...I don't know. It's just...something. That I don't like. That sounded a LOT better in my head.
I'm game for another chapter, but there are three little quirks I feel you need to address. It's nitpicking and nothing more, otherwise this chapter was cute, sweet, and very sensual.
1 - In most stories, thoughts are displayed through italics, but not with quotation marks.
2 - Dialogue, when merging into a description, is done with a comma.
"Blah blah," she said. "Blah blah blah." That's how it's done properly.
If you are splitting a line of dialogue, it would read like this:
"Blah blah," she said, "blah blah blah."
3 - Might want to kick up your dialogue variety. I'm seeing too many instances of Gleaming and Bolero calling each other cute names at the end of their sentences. Not that cute names are bad, not in the slightest, but it's a little overkill here.
'Tis only nitpicking. Pay it no mind if it please you.
"Contains: Anthro, Breast Expansion"
You had me at expansion.
2428973
You had me at r63
Love it, this will be my first clopfic I've Favorited I hope to see more from you
2429081 You had me at pie
2429185 You had me at hello
2428768Okay Keroro we get it.
You can go back to your Gunpla now.
2428973 You Had Me At Anthro.....And Insta-Fave At Expansion
2428973 Amen
mlkshk.com/r/DA6
Do you have a link to the full picture? Or is that it?
I... Don't know if I feel safe reading this...
...I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, should I? Let's give it a try then...
2430253
http://derpiboo.ru/65445
not sure if want however I will fave because i sense some comedic value
2428586 oh, say no MORE...
meh....I've read worse
Blue jeans? Really? Of all the things to put male anthro characters in it's blue jeans? Is there some sort of anthro pornographic story high council that decided that all males have blue jeans on prior to sexing?
Honestly I'm half in the mood to write a scathing critique of your style now. And I'm stating that to make myself obligated to do so.
I like it! Next Chapter please with more spells and expansion, no matter what will expand!
Consider me interested, please continue.
2421350 I think a second chapter is practically a must. Maybe have Gleaming cast the bust enhancing spell on Dusk and teach him what it's like to be a 'mare'.
2431233 THIS MUST BE DONE. 0_0
Love the story! It's awesome, and sexy.
MOAR!