Yes, any explanation would be enough, there just had to be one.
The pace is ok, I don't see a problem with quicker relationship development. Only thing that I find odd is that they probably slept through a whole day.
But I wonder what happened since last chapter. Grammar errors are much more abundant in this one and there are stray word as well as some missing ones. Also you shouldn't jump from tense to tense. The whole thing needs to be narrated in present or in past tense exclusively (apart from direct speech).
And oh please divide it into more paragraphs. At least in dialogues when the speaker changes there needs to be a new paragraph.
Yes, any explanation would be enough, there just had to be one.
The pace is ok, I don't see a problem with quicker relationship development. Only thing that I find odd is that they probably slept through a whole day.
But I wonder what happened since last chapter. Grammar errors are much more abundant in this one and there are stray word as well as some missing ones. Also you shouldn't jump from tense to tense. The whole thing needs to be narrated in present or in past tense exclusively (apart from direct speech).
And oh please divide it into more paragraphs. At least in dialogues when the speaker changes there needs to be a new paragraph.
3088217 K I will, thanks for the feed back
I like it
3109503 if you say so
3109508
moar pls
3513942 Will do, be patient but realize I'm coming off a break so no worries