"So, when does your bitch of lieutenant's going to arrive?" Gilda growled angrily to the nearby guard as she paced round in the guard post's courtyard.
The young guard woman who had been asked by Blossomforth to watch over Gilda looked at the pacing, angry woman apathetically. At the first, the guard didn't understand why the sergeant had asked to watch over the athlete from Cloudsdale. As soon as she saw Gilda pacing round furiously with a gladius attached to her belt, she hadn't needed anymore explanations. Blossomforth had preferred a watcher instead of confiscating Gilda's weapon without Cloud Kicker's presence as she estimated that trying that would only make things escalate to the point of non-return.
"When it pleases her," the guard said with a neutral voice.
Gilda snorted in annoyance. "Anyway, how do you do it with Cloud Kicker?" she asked curiously.
"Do what exactly?"
"How do you stand having that slut as your superior?" Gilda asked venomously.
The guard's jaw clenched a bit. "She does her job correctly. That's enough for me and the others," she said in the most calm tone she could muster.
"You don't have to lie, you know?" Gilda retorted. "She's not around."
"I'm not lying." the guard's annoyance at the offending woman was slowly growing.
"Yeah, right." Gilda rolled her eyes in disbelief.
Before the guard could retort, a sharp whistle cut through the air. Gilda and the guard looked up and saw Cloud Kicker landing a few feet away from them with Blossomforth in tow.
"Swiftwing, you can step aside now," Cloud Kicker said in an unusual cold tone. "I'll take care of this."
"Yes, Lieutenant Kicker!" Swiftwing saluted before walking away, happy to finally leave Gilda's side but also a bit ill-at-ease at her superior's tone.
"Blossom', you know what to do," Cloud Kicker added to her sergeant.
"Yes, Lieutenant Kicker!" Blossomforth nodded sternly before doing as she had planned with Cloud Kicker.
"Now," Cloud Kicker whispered as she turned to face Gilda. "Skytalon, I heard you were looking for me."
"Yes, indeed." Gilda glared at Cloud Kicker.
"What can I do for you then?"
"Because of you, I got fired from the team!" Glida groaned.
"Because of me you say?" Cloud Kicker asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"Yes!" Gilda snapped with an angered and shaking tone. "You squealed on me to your cowgirl bitch! She talked to Dash about it today. And because of that, she and I got into a fight and she fired me from the team."
"You couldn't keep your cool with your team captain," Cloud Kicker said without sympathy. "I don't see what does it have to do with me."
"It's all because of my fight with you!" Gilda pointed an accusatory finger at Cloud Kicker.
"Maybe you're right," Cloud Kicker admitted slowly. "But, if my memories are correct, you're the one who made a fool of herself during that match!"
"It was all your fault, you could have just taken the deal and..."
"You're joking, right?" Cloud Kicker chuckled sarcastically. "You screw things up on your own and you dare come here to blame it all on me?" she looked at Gilda with a mix of incredulity and disgust. "You're just pathetic!"
"You're calling me pathetic?" Gilda bellowed in anger, her hand dangerously close from her sword's hilt. "When you're just abusing Sparkle's naivety for your own benefits?"
"You leave her out of this!" Cloud Kicker yelled in fury, her dark fuchsia wings widely spread on her back.
"Hit a nerve, huh?" Gilda smirked. "You can't really hide it anymore... After all, the guards know by now, your boss has known since yesterday's letter...."
"So, it really was you." Cloud Kicker slowly groaned with narrowed eyes, a light fog condensing around her hands and wings.
"I was very surprised when I saw him so friendly with you after his fight with the blue haired dweeb!" Gilda remarked, her hand holding the hilt of her sword. "I thought he would have taken the letter seriously.... But, who knows? Maybe he didn't feel the need to check because you're doing the thing with him as well.... After all, ain't it like that you became Lieutenant?" she added with a malevolent grin.
"...... You're a real idiot, you know that?" Cloud Kicker said after a few seconds with a look of disgust directed at Gilda.
"That your answer? A stupid insult?" Gilda snapped.
"I always stoop down to the level of the one in front of me," Cloud Kicker retorted with a cold chuckle.
"Don't look down on me, bitch!" Gilda roared, drawing her sword of its sheath.
"Gilda, I'm warning you," Cloud Kicker said firmly. "Do not challenge me!"
"Threatening me won't work if you don't have any weapons." Gilda chuckled madly before spreading her dark brown wings and lunged at Cloud Kicker, her sword ready to fall on the unarmed and unarmored lieutenant.
"If you think I need one to teach you a lesson.... You're wrong!"
Before the impact, Cloud Kicker grabbed Gilda's wrist with her left hand, still surrounded by a white mist which turned into a soft icy blue hue at the contact of Gilda's wrist. The brown winged Jupitarian winced at how cold her right forearm felt. She looked at her wrist and saw with horror her skin becoming blue and slowly starting to be covered by a thin layer of ice.
Gilda's momentum completely broken, Cloud Kicker let go of her wrist before punching her in the stomach. Gilda stumbled backwards of a few feet with a pained grunt. The ice around her wrist melted but her skin kept that blue tone. She looked at Cloud Kicker with her eyes widened by shock and surprise.
"What? You didn't think Lightning Dust was the only one to know ice shaping magic, did you?" Cloud Kicker asked angrily.
Gilda didn't answered as she was rubbing her frozen wrist with her other hand around which the air seemed to undulate. After the cold feeling in her arm was gone, thanks to her heat magic, she took off in order to gain more speed for her next blow. As soon as she had gained enough altitude, she dived toward Cloud Kicker who hadn't moved from her spot.
Instead of charging Cloud Kicker, Gilda conjured a lightning bolt in her free hand before casting it at the lieutenant. Cloud Kicker created a small white cloud to absorb the lightning bolt, turning it slightly grey before dissipating it. Gilda started to fly in circles above Cloud Kicker, occasionally casting lightning bolts at her, only to be absorbed by her clouds.
"I'll get her," Gilda muttered under her breath.
She casted another bolt at the lieutenant before diving at her to get her blind spot thanks to the distraction offered by her lightning bolt. She grinned madly when she was coming close to Cloud Kicker. But, when Gilda was about ten feet away from her, Cloud Kicker turned around and conjured a powerful gush of wind with a huge flap of her wings, stopping Gilda in her tracks.
Before Gilda could recover from the sudden stop, Cloud Kicker flew to charge her midair, taking her up to an altitude of one-hundred meters. Then, Cloud Kicker span on herself, still holding Gilda by her clothes before throwing her to crash on a nearby cloud. Cloud Kicker maintained herself at that altitude by constant flaps of her wings.
Gilda groaned as she stood up on the cloud before facing Cloud Kicker. "So, you want to do it airborne, huh?" she asked with a smirk. "My pleasure," she added before Cloud Kicker could respond and took the air.
Gilda had spent all of her life in Cloudsdale. All her physical and combat trainings had been done airborne. She was more at ease in the airs then on the ground. She wasn't as fast as Rainbow Dash or Lightning Dust, both the best fliers of Cloudsdale's team, but she was convinced she could beat Cloud Kicker in an air combat.
She was quickly proven wrong.
Cloud Kicker managed to dodge all of her attacks. No matter what was the angle, Cloud Kicker could always anticipate Gilda's sword strikes and move out of the way before getting hit. It was getting on Gilda's nerves. And, if that wasn't enough, Cloud Kicker didn't seemed to be willing to riposte.
"What are you waiting for to strike back?" Gilda roared, charging electricity in her left hand.
"Don't wanna," Cloud Kicker shrugged apathetically.
"In that case..." Gilda casted a lightning bolt at her opponent.
The fight continued with Gilda casting a real barrage of lightning bolts at Cloud Kicker. As a volley of ten bolts flew toward her, Cloud Kicker conjured around herself a puffy white cloud. Said cloud turned grayer as it blocked every lightning casted by Gilda until it became pure black with electric sparks coming out of it. Cloud Kicker disappeared into the black cloud.
"The idiot," Gilda whispered to herself. "She locked herself in a thundercloud, she's sure to ...." Her eyes snapped wide open. "What the hell?"
The thundercloud was rapidly changing its shape and size. It contracted on itself, causing the numbers of electric sparks to grow at least tenfold. The cloud drifted spirally in between Cloud Kicker's hands, slowly becoming smaller as it gathered at the guard's right.
"She's shaping a thundercloud," Gilda whispered in bewilderment as the cloud was slowly taking the form of a black, cloudy, three foot long rod in Cloud Kicker's hands with bright electric sparks running through it. "...It seems to take a lot from her," she commented, noticing Cloud Kicker was frowning in concentration with her eyes closed. "Chance." Gilda grinned before lunging at Cloud Kicker.
Gilda was coming closer at top speed while Cloud Kicker was still focused on her cloud shaping magic. When Gilda was a few feet away from her, Cloud Kicker calmly opened her eyes. She wasn't unsettled by the fact that Gilda was charging her with her sword ready to deliver a presumably lethal blow. Her right hand 'grabbed' the end of her 'thundercloud rod', which now looked like a misty, blackened blade with sparks of lightning coursing along its edge.
"Too late!" Gilda roared in triumph, ready to deliver her blow.
"No... too late for you," Cloud Kicker whispered with a dark glare, before striking toward Gilda's sword.
Their blades met midair.
Glida was snatched by a sudden downdraft at the second her blade came into contact with Cloud Kicker's. The surprise made her let go of her sword and looked down. Only to see a white winged guard woman flying up to her, a spear spinning in her hands which were surrounded by a thin white fog.
Blossomforth thrusted the non-lethal end of her spear deep into Gilda's stomach as she came down straight to the ascending guard. Gilda, gasping loudly at the impact, was sent flying upward for a couple of meters as Blossomforth span her spear again before delivering a powerful batting strike on the Cloudsdalian's torso when she fell back, sending her crashing to the ground.
A Titanian guard caught Gilda in his magic before she touched the ground. He put her on the ground on which she rolled over in pain, her hands firmly pressed on her belly and a dozens of guards circling her. The low rumble that accompanied Cloud Kicker's cloud-made blade died down when the Lieutenant dissipated it and flew to the ground. Blossomforth and she landed right next to each other, the former's spear resting on her shoulder.
"Nice timing, Blossomforth," Cloud Kicker whispered.
"That's why you're paying me, Lieutenant." Blossomforth shrugged casually. "Beside, It's not like you'd have really hit her in the end, right?" Cloud Kicker didn't answer. "Right?" she asked again with a hint of worry and fear in her voice.
".... To tell you the truth, I'm not sure." Cloud Kicker let out with a slow sigh. "In any case, I'm glad you intervened."
Blossomforth nodded solemnly before she and Cloud Kicker turned their gaze at where Gilda had been dropped on the ground.
"You know, the point of what I asked you was to prevent her from being sent to the hospital," Cloud Kicker remarked with a small, halfhearted chuckle as she saw one of the Titanian guards casting a basic healing spell on Gilda. "Not just to prevent me from sending her to the hospital."
"That's exactly what I did, Lieutenant," Blossomforth answered matter-of-factly. "You asked me to intervene before it escalates and I did."
"And the wounds she might get because of you?" Cloud Kicker asked playfully.
"Nothing that can't be dealt with in our infirmary, Ma'am." Blossomforth shrugged. "If I haven't intervened, you would have hurt her a lot more!"
"I suppose you're right," Cloud Kicker admitted slowly.
"What do you want us to do with her?" Blossomforth asked.
"Do whatever you think it's normal to do, Blossomforth," Cloud Kicker said with a tired sigh. "I'm afraid the matter's clearly too personal for me to make any impartial decision."
"Of course, Lieutenant." Blossomforth nodded with her 'stern guard face'. Her expression softened. "Cloud, what she said about you and Lady Sparkle .... That's true, isn't it?" she asked softly with concern.
"Do you really think I'd have used that magic if it wasn't case?" Cloud Kicker asked softly.
"It's more than just a fling then?" Blossomforth asked knowingly. Cloud Kicker nodded. "I know it's not my place to tell you what to do, Cloud. But, if I were you, I'd just come out with it. Keeping things like that a secret's not good in the long term."
"You're probably right .... I'll have to talk to her about that," Cloud Kicker whispered.
"May I suggest you do that tomorrow?" Blossomforth asked with concern. "I think you need some rest to clear your thoughts."
"Well, I do feel more tired than usual," Cloud Kicker admitted softly with a nod of her head. "I leave this to you, Blossom'. See you in the morning," she said before taking off.
After Cloud Kicker took off, Blossomforth walked to where Gilda was, only to find her lying where the Titanian guard had dropped her. As she came close to her, the circle of guards surrounding Gilda broke apart to let their sergeant through. Gilda glared at the guard who had attacked her.
"So, your slut of lieutenant couldn't take me on her own?" Gilda asked venomously. "She had to call one of her pets to the...."
She was interrupted when the tip of Blossomforth's spear was an inch away from her throat, right above the nearly healed scar from her match from the day before. Gilda gulped nervously, her eyes filled by fear.
"You really need to learn when, how, and who you need to shut your mouth with, Gilda Skytalon!" Blossomforth said sternly. "Do you know what you risk with that little shindig of yours?" Gilda shook her head slowly and Blossomforth put the spear away. "You know? Drawing your sword at someone when you don't have one of these..." she tapped her royal guard armor with the shaft of her spear. "... It can go to one year in the slammer, if the judge's not accommodating," Blossom explained coldly. "Added to that the fact you actually attacked someone both with your weapons and magic.... You're going to be in a heap of troubles."
"... All because of that stupid bitch! If she hadn't started to piss LD and me off none of....." Gilda muttered as she tried to sit up, not without a wince caused by her sore ribs.
"What did I just tell you about shutting up?" Blossomforth snapped, causing Gilda to turn silent again before turning to two of her fellow guards. "Bring her to the infirmary and try to contact someone from Cloudsdale's team."
"Yes, Sergeant!" the two guards saluted before one levitated Gilda in a lying position to the infirmary and the other spread his wings and took off toward the town.
"And, once the nurse got her job done, put her in one of the cells," Blossomforth ordered.
"Wait!" Swiftwing shouted as she walked to the levitating Gilda from the other side of the courtyard. "You dropped this," she added coldly.
Swiftwing dropped something at Gilda, causing her to wince in pain as it had landed right where Blossomforth had hit her in the stomach and because of the heat that sprang from it. She looked at what it was. Her eyes slowly widened as her defiant glare turned into a shaken and frightened glance. Her lower lip started to quiver as an icy chill crawled up her spine, making her hair stand at the back of her neck. It was her sword.
Or the remains of her sword, to be more specific. The hilt and the start of the blade were intact but were glowing in a faint red hue. Above the point on which Cloud Kicker's cloud-blade had hit, it was nothing but a thin rod bent in a serpentine shape. The upper part of the blade had nearly completely melted.
Gilda had always been a daredevil, only taking pleasure with the most daring flying tricks, the most dangerous place to explore. Not unlike Rainbow Dash, she had always claimed to be too cool to be afraid of anything. But, as she realized that she could have easily shared her sword's fate, she couldn't help but start to shake in fear at the sight of it.
"Now, you know better than pissing the Lieutenant Kicker off," Swiftwing said with a smirk as Gilda was taken to the infirmary.
she can shape storm clouds?! that's so fucking COOL! she fit's right in with the rest of the gang.
And right when I was bored, this uploaded
By the way, might I suggest adding a bit more description to Gilda's facial expression when she sees her sword? Just to kick it home just how fucked she was had Blossomforth not intervened? I will be honest, I feel like "Eyes snapped wide open and chill down the spine" doesn't quite cut it. She just insulted someone that was half a second from killing her.
2653396
True, it's a bit lame.....
But how do you express true terror.
I know I could watch the internet...
but then I won't be able to sleep anymore
2653421
This is my writing style, so it won't be entirely compatible with yours, but I hope it'll at least give you an idea. I'll start with what you wrote.
I think it'd be best if you used a new paragraph for this, placing it just before Swing Wing speaks. Also, the exclamation mark after Swift's dialogue makes her sound a bit gloating, a comma would be sufficient and make that piece of dialogue much more chilling. And now that we're on the part, you use the exclamation mark quite often. I think you could tone it down a little, as a lot of the dialogue you write doesn't warrant one. Try only to use it when someone exclaims something, or speaks in a loud voice and not just a normal conversational tone as it sometimes seem to be.
Also: Note that I'm only a mediocre writer at best. I just added what I think would fit
2653520
I've checked the !... there were more than 40 that was indeed a tiny weeny bit too much
I'm trying that paragraph more thingy Not entirely copy paste from your try but there are some lines you did that really hit hard It should be done by any minutes now
It was bent indeed
2653536
I'm glad I could be of help
And you shouldn't copy paste. Our writing styles are different, the goal was to give you inspiration as to how you could make the "fear" become more apparent
KC much love for her ^_^ such an amazing character and story you have given her, and as for op? Nah, mean heck, AJ's "raise this barn" literally meaning her picking up the barn, and vynal's kamehameha... Errr bass cannon blowing up everything , I think JC's magic/skills are more then on par... And if you take into account every one else on the team having super accuracy, great land speed and agility. They all fit well together , just some like vynal aj and ck are more describable which makes them seem well over the ordinary . Just my thoughts on it mind you ... Any how...
MANE MEDIC HATH SPOKEN!
2653555
here what do you think of it, now?
2653618
It sure hits home a little harder
2653608
"Raising" a barn is a term used for building a barn. It's not "lifting" it as you seem to think.
And now a night time visit from Cloud Kicker by Twilight
The fight was pretty awesome. Gilda drools , Cloudy rules.. (...that was too childish.. I'm very sorry)
As for the writing? I could follow the fight very fluently.
Cloud shaping is an awesome craft.
You didn't mention the fact that she attacked a guard (equivalent of a cop). That right there is extra time.
I imagined CK's face being sad and despondent as she fought. Kinda like the Oracle Twin from American Dragon: Jake Long who saw all the good stuff.
Nicely done! Cloud Kicker is so cool!
By the way, I just changed my Account name today, but I was the one who was asking you for advice on uploading my first story a few days ago.
Been waiting to use this one. (I'm running out of rock music)
YAY!!!! New MB chapter! *reads intently*
Mental note. Also verbal note, written note, and notarized note.
Never piss off Cloud Kicker.
2654624 HEY! YOU! ya you! I don't need to get in to any more bands and that ones awesome from the last one you posted. but it's okay you know if I get in to it
And for you Mariacheat-Brony you better not make me wait. Lol I know I most likely wont have to wait long for the next chapter
Kapuchu lol I understand the difference trust me, I've built a few barns in my time , the way I worded it, was ment to be a play on words, you know a joke of types. But eh it's all good ^_^ any who, Mane Medic out, waiting patiently for the next chapter.
Well the gossips will be plenty busy in the next couple days...
Okay, now we have the proof that Ponyvillians aren't humans, they are monsters.
2654624 Screw it, the music I put up sucks anyway. It never fits.
Amazing chapter, as always. I would want to train under Cloud Kicker in the art of all things badass.
Just a question, do you proof-read these chapters yourself?
2662433
Kinda... Does it show much?
ps: glad you liked it
2663256 Not really, just small grammatical errors that could be fixed with a reading by someone else. Normally the person who wrote the story won't particularly notice smaller flaws unless they are pointed out to them.
On another note, love your new picture!
2666813
Thanks for the comment on the pic
as for the grammatical errors, I'm trying to get an editor for the AppleScratch but no one seems to be interested on the looking for editors group (Don't know why but I never get answers from that group, and from the 'art for fiction as well)
2666836 If you want I could do that for you, I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands.
Also, I'm quite scared at how fast you replied. What exactly are you doing?
2666844
at the moment, writing GTVS chapter 5
But as I'm in my finals period I'm most of the time at home and I have fimfiction as a background task.
If you want to, that would be awesome
2666858 Oh yeah, I was going to compliment you on having another great story with GTVS but somehow I forgot.
Really though, it's no problem. You can just PM me with how you want to transfer files and such.
Hope you do/have done well on your Finals!
2661849 You'll find a fic that the music fits perfectly to, I should know. Keep trying!
2668053 Actually, maybe I've found something...
(Ignore the beginning part)
gilda...why you so stupid!?
Kinda wish Blossomforth didn't enterupt the fight.
2654624
So I started that song and the fight ended with the ending of the song....It was purrfect. Oh and thanks for sharing the song I have been looking for something like that for a while...Kinda sad it took me like 3-5ish readings of the series to finally notice it though.
Her shaping storm clouds is so awesome! And Gilda, trying to attack someone with a weapon made of thundercloud with a metal sword, bad idea, not only does metal conduct electricity, but thunder is hit enoh to melt your sword.
Ponyville: Our weakest children could fuck you up!
Lets see ...
Drawing a weapon in public when not a guard in the commission of his duty ...
Drawing a weapon on a member of the guard ...
Using said weapon (plus magic, can't forget the magic) on an unarmed person ...
That gives us Assault, Assault with Intent and Attempted Murder. A nice little trifecta of "you done fucked up".
Bye bye Gilda, we shouldn't be seeing you again
Your lucky to be alive Gilda.