Great chapter, kinda shirt but I'm ok with that. As for making it a clopfic or not, that's mostly up to you, I'm enjoying the story, but in all honesty, i don't see how this could stay teen rated much longer
I think I'm done with this story. First I was like "Okay another one about Pinkie killing somepony", than I was like "Okay...shes addicted to cocaine" and finally I was like "Buck not a clopfic with some bug eyed cocaine selling pony"
Consider carefully what your concept is in this story, I think this could be pretty good without becoming permanently cloppy or overly-explicit. I think some more detail on the way in and some lead-in here would be good. In particular, more detail on her impression of the setting as she follows him
Your portrayal of pinkie seems way too accepting of something it's not clear if she knows much about really from the show, although you're certainly allowed to change the nature of the ponies some, I just feel like you should make it more clear. I doubt this would fit Pinkie even while depressed. If you want here to be SUPER-depressed, you should probably extend the earlier story with her having the Pinkie Pie equivalent of Rarity's mental breakdown in the the episode "Suited for Success" and lengthen it so she can mope and talk to herself and cry and whatnot. A day or two of serious tragic thinking shouldn't be taken as more than grief perhaps by other ponies and not cause for Equestria's happiest pony to run off forever.
It's also a tad odd that the others don't expression more concern and desire for brash intervention, although her surprise departure would make sense. They would probably try and find her, but they probably wouldn't assume she'd do what she did, if you want to resolve this by Pinkie Pie going back to Ponyville. Also, even if she did, these are permanent life-changing "personality-altering" events in a pony's life.
211935 Thank you for your input good sir, While I intened for the other ponies to find Pinkie eventually, I have assumed that it's because Clopton is such a horrible place that they never dreamed of Pinkie going there. Also I do intend to show what's going on with the mane six in ponyville in perhapps... lets say, 1 or 2 more chapters.
Great chapter, kinda shirt but I'm ok with that.
As for making it a clopfic or not, that's mostly up to you, I'm enjoying the story, but in all honesty, i don't see how this could stay teen rated much longer
I think I'm done with this story.
First I was like "Okay another one about Pinkie killing somepony", than I was like "Okay...shes addicted to cocaine" and finally I was like
"Buck not a clopfic with some bug eyed cocaine selling pony"
Aw shit, how long was that "someone make this into a clopfic" note up? I swear to god I did not put that in there.
Aw well please disregard it I'm taking this down as we speak.
'
Aww shit this is getting good!
The spelling was perfect man! It added so much affect to it!
Consider carefully what your concept is in this story, I think this could be pretty good without becoming permanently cloppy or overly-explicit. I think some more detail on the way in and some lead-in here would be good. In particular, more detail on her impression of the setting as she follows him
Your portrayal of pinkie seems way too accepting of something it's not clear if she knows much about really from the show, although you're certainly allowed to change the nature of the ponies some, I just feel like you should make it more clear. I doubt this would fit Pinkie even while depressed. If you want here to be SUPER-depressed, you should probably extend the earlier story with her having the Pinkie Pie equivalent of Rarity's mental breakdown in the the episode "Suited for Success" and lengthen it so she can mope and talk to herself and cry and whatnot. A day or two of serious tragic thinking shouldn't be taken as more than grief perhaps by other ponies and not cause for Equestria's happiest pony to run off forever.
It's also a tad odd that the others don't expression more concern and desire for brash intervention, although her surprise departure would make sense. They would probably try and find her, but they probably wouldn't assume she'd do what she did, if you want to resolve this by Pinkie Pie going back to Ponyville. Also, even if she did, these are permanent life-changing "personality-altering" events in a pony's life.
211935 Thank you for your input good sir, While I intened for the other ponies to find Pinkie eventually, I have assumed that it's because Clopton is such a horrible place that they never dreamed of Pinkie going there. Also I do intend to show what's going on with the mane six in ponyville in perhapps... lets say, 1 or 2 more chapters.
Good Day
That was good. I wish i had a machine to clone myslef with, so i could hi-five myself after reading one of these fanfictions.