Those Crazy Critters
10. Those Crazy Critters
Celestia sifted through her papers as she prepared for her journey to Ponyville. While she had sent a message ahead for everypony to expect her - she had long ago given up any chance of a succesful surprise visit, and the attempts were not worth remembering - she had specified that it would be a casual visit. Somehow she doubted she could manage that, but at least she knew of six ponies and one baby dragon who wouldn't get too formal. Maybe they could set examples for the others.
There was a knock on her door, and she glanced at her schedule. 'Oh, that's right,' she thought to herself. 'I'm finally getting around to hearing the battalion's report on the encounter with Shul Viin Ahst Vulon. Since the sky became clear and the entire battalion returned, there wasn't any urgency in hearing the report.' She looked up at the door. "Come in, Captain."
The door opened, and Captain Shining Armor entered calmly. Walking up to the desk, he saluted. "Captain Shining Armor reporting for duty."
Celestia smiled. "Shining, there really is no need to be so formal." As he sat down, she shifted some papers around. "So tell me, how did the confrontation with the dragon go?"
Shining Armor shifted nervously. "Your Highness, I'm afraid I...disobeyed your orders with regard to the dragon."
"Oh?" Celestia looked Shining in the eyes. It wasn't like him to disobey an order. "How so?"
"Well, your orders were to stop in Ponyville to collect the Element Bearers so they could assist us in the confrontation. The orders I gave to the troops...were to make straight for the mountain."
Celestia stared at Shining Armor for a time, before smiling at him. "Twilight?"
He nodded. "I know you ordered we were to have their assistance, but...while I was willing to risk my own life, and my troops were willing to risk theirs...I wasn't willing to risk hers." He bowed his head. "Your Highness, I am ready to accept any punishment you may give for my actions."
Celestia shook her head with a sigh. "Captain, one of the things any commander has to learn is to never give an order they know won't be obeyed." She smiled. "Had I thought about it, I would have known you would never obey an order to put your little sister in the direct path of harm." She chuckled. "Besides, you dealt with the dragon on your own without casualties. An impressive feat. How did it happen?"
Shining Armor rubbed the back of his neck. "It...didn't. By the time we got there, the dragon was gone and the sky was clear."
Celestia raised her eyebrow. "What? How can that be-" A wisp of green smoke appeared and took the shape of a scroll wrapped in violet silk. Celestia smiled. "A letter from Twilight! I haven't received one from her since our correspondance regarding Shul Viin." She unrolled the scroll.
"What does she say?" Shining asked. At Celestia's raised eyebrow, he bowed his head. "Begging your pardon, Celestia, it's just been so long since I've heard from Twilight."
Celestia smiled. "Well, I won't read you the letter, but I can give you the gist of what she says." She glanced at the scroll. "Well, first she apologizes for not having written for so long. Apparently she was working through a personal problem."
"Does she say what?" Shining asked in concern.
"No, she doesn't." Thinking back on Beast Boy's visit, she thought, 'But I bet I can guess.' "She says it has been resolved as best it can and will try to not let it affect her so much in the future. Ah, she also has a report on how the situation with Midnight Sun was handled. Midnight Sun...oh, the dragon."
"Why is she calling him Midnight Sun? I thought his name was-"
"His name means 'sun shines at night'. As far as usage goes, that's an accurate translation." Celestia continued reading. "Oh dear, it appears one of her friends - an Element Bearer - went alone to the dragon's cave and convinced him to leave."
"Really?" Shining said, impressed. "Who was it? We could use somepony with that courage and skill in diplomacy in the Guard." He thought. "From how you described them, the only one brave enough to try it would be Rainbow Dash, but she sounds like she lacked the diplomatic-"
"It was Fluttershy."
Shining froze. "The Element of Kindness? I thought she was afraid of her own shadow."
"She is." Celestia kept reading. "Apparently, she felt she had to prove herself after failing to talk the tarrasque out of attacking Ponyville, and getting nearly gutted for her trouble."
"Waitwaitwait...a tarrasque attacked Ponyville?" Shining looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack, his mane poofing up much like his sister's did at those times. "How many dead? How many wounded? Is Twilight alright? Why haven't we dispatched a relief effort? Is it still in the vicinity?"
"Relax, Captain," Celestia said calmly. "Twilight was able to hold the tarrasque before it could do too much damage, and banish it back to Tartarus where it came from. I investigated that incident personally, and by the time I got there most of the damage had already been repaired. Fluttershy was the only one injured, and a pony called Trixie was able to heal the wound before she suffered too much harm."
Shining Armor blinked slowly as his mane settled back down. "So...my baby sister soloed a tarrasque? Huh." He rubbed his brow thoughtfully.
"Something bothering you, Shining?"
Shining Armor smiled. "Just seems like maybe the wrong sibling made Guard Captain, is all."
Celestia chuckled. "Not to worry, Captain. The two of you took different paths in your training, is all. You make an excellent Captain, while Twilight's abilities are purely magical in nature. Your family has produced greatness in both sword and spell in defense of the throne for generations. I wasn't at all surprised after Twilight became my student to find you as my Guard Captain."
Shining ducked his head. "Thank you, Your Highness." He then sighed sadly. "I guess...she doesn't really need me anymore."
"Shining Armor, Twilight will always need her BBBFF," Celestia replied with a smile. "However, you are right that she doesn't need you hovering. Which is part of the reason why your request to accompany me as part of my guard detail on my trip to Ponyville today has been denied."
"But-"
"Captain, for Twilight to develop fully, she must learn to stand on all four of her own hooves. She is doing admirably. There's no need for you to hover over her anymore." Celestia hated lying to Shining Armor like this, but she couldn't let him make direct contact with Raven. While her act was good enough to fool most ponies, Shining knew his sister better than anyone. And while he was an excellent Captain...he was overly protective of Twilight, and would act with ferocious intensity, and that would blow the charade completely.
'And if Zecora's Astral message regarding her suspicions on who's behind all this are correct,' she thought silently, 'that would be the worst possible thing.'
Shining nodded quietly. "You said that was part of the reason. What's the other part?"
Celestia smiled, pleased to have something happy to focus on. "Why, my neice informed me that she had two tickets to 'Colts and Fillies' this afternoon, and she'd throw a fit if you weren't available because of me."
Shining Armor chuckled. "So I can't spend time with my sister because I'll be too busy spending time with my marefriend. Gotcha."
"Speaking of which, does Twilight know about your relationship yet? Cadance was her old foalsitter, after all."
Shining looked away, wincing. "I was...kind of hoping to talk to her about it today."
Celestia shook her head. "You could always write her a letter."
He gulped. "Official correspondance I can handle, but...I suck at personal letters."
Celestia rolled her eyes. "You are a grown stallion, Shining Armor. Please act like one." She smiled to take the sting from her rebuke. "Cadance is in the East Wing Atrium. Dismissed."
Shining saluted and left.
Turning back to the letter, Celestia accessed her magic to read Raven's message.
"Celestia,
The personal issue mentioned was between myself and another of my friends. With the help of my friends and Zecora - a new friend of ours - I have managed to put it behind me. I will not allow it to effect me further, or in any way alter Twilight's life.
When I received word of the dragon, I was surprised. I hadn't anticipated it would be so powerful to require the level of force you chose to implement. I'm sorry it was unnecessarry. One of my companions - Melvin, who inhabits Fluttershy's body - decided to handle the dragon solo. Thankfully, she was successful.
Her motives may require some explanation. You see, while the rest of us are all in late adolescents - and full members of a team of heroes in our own world - Melvin has not yet celebrated her ninth birthday. I have always been rather...protective of her.
After perceiving herself to have failed with the Tarrasque, she felt she had to prove herself - to me more than anyone else - that she could live up to the responsibility of being a member of our team, of Bearing an Element.
I was...understandably upset at her actions, but could not find it in me to blame her. You see...I said I was protective of her. The truth is, I kind of see her as a daughter. For the longest time...I thought she would be the closest I would ever come to having a daughter of my own. Hearing that she went off to face a dragon you feared alone...I've never been more scared in my life.
However, things have more or less settled down, and we are all looking forward to your visit today. There was...a minor hiccup yesterday, but I managed to resolve it and - surprisingly enough - we may have a new way to handle the aftermath of the various magical disasters that seem to occur in Ponyville on a regular basis.
Your Friend,
Raven"
Celestia set the letter down. Raven did seem to have a propensity for improving things in Ponyville. Her reports regarding Gilda and Trixie - though only written in Twilight's voice - had been enlightening.
'Speaking of improvements...' Celestia went to her private quarters and walked over to a golden cage. "Hello, Philomena," she said quietly. "How are you today?" Philomena had been listless lately, and it worried her.
A racking cough echoed from the cage, and Philomena raised her head over the bottom edge of the cage. Celestia stepped back, stifling a gasp. Most of her plumage had fallen out, and what few feathers remained were discolored. When Philomena coughed again, a small puff of flame came out of her beak, and more feathers fell.
Celestia stared, her lip starting to quiver. "This isn't right...you don't have another burning day for another three months." Celestia shook her head, scattering tears. While there were very few things that could actually affect a pheonix badly, those few were frequently lethal, and untreatable. 'Untreatable...as far as ponies know.' She seized the cage in her mouth, rushing to her window, spreading her wings. 'Philomena, you were a gift from my father. I will not lose you if I can help it, royal ceremony be damned!'
As she flew strongly towards Ponyville, she noticed the Royal Guard that were hitched to her chariot looking up in shock before taking off in pursuit of her.
It didn't take long for Celestia to reach Ponyville, and she was briefly distracted by the sight of small, adorable fuzz balls flitting about the town, some carrying baskets as they followed various ponies. However, she ignored them for the moment, making straight for the library. She knocked gently on the door. "Twilight? Twilight, are you in?" She tried to keep her panic from her voice, as Philomena seemed to have grown worse, coughing up more golden fire.
The door opened. "Princess, you're early." Raven stuck her head out.
"Forgive my rudeness." Celestia pushed Raven into the library, shutting the door on her guards. A quick glance around showed her only Raven and Beast Boy were there.
Noticing her caution, Raven smiled. "It's just us, Princess. Fluttershy's upstairs, though. She was helping us clean."
Celestia set the cage down. "Raven, do you know much magical healing? Something is wrong with Philomena. It's much too soon for it to be a burning day, but-"
Raven held a hoof up, silencing Celestia. As Melvin came down the stairs at the noise, Raven examined Philomena with her magic. "Melvin, could you place Philomena on that table over there?" she asked at last, gesturing to a clear table in the center of the room.
"Okay, Mom," she said, lifting Philomena gently out of the cage. She then placed the ailing pheonix - who had lost nearly all of her feathers - on the table.
Celestia looked on with worry. "You can help her, can't you, Raven?"
"There's nothing to be done," Raven said quietly, turning a nearby table on its side. She placed it between herself and Philomena. Beast Boy and Melvin joined her behind it.
"N-nothing?" Celestia asked, her voice quavering. "Please, you must do something!"
"Celestia," Raven said quietly. "Duck."
Right at that moment, Philomena shed her last feather and lifted her head, letting out a loud squack. Acting on instinct, Celestia leaped behind the table.
Philomena exploded.
When the smoke cleared, Celestia stared out at a large pile of woodchips, all that remained of a beloved pet that had been with her most of her life. "No..." she whispered, stepping out from behind the table. "I was too late..." Sinking to her knees, she started to cry.
Raven walked up to the pile of wood. "Get up," she said coldly.
Celestia stared at Raven. "But-"
"Not you." She lowered her eyes to the pile. "I know you know what I am, and you're distressing Celestia. This isn't funny, so pull yourself together already and apologize for worrying her so much."
Ash began to gather, and before Celestia's eyes Philomena reformed in all her brilliant glory. Gliding over, she landed on Celestia's shoulder, nuzzling her apologetically. Celestia stared. "But...she had another three months to her burning day...and that wasn't a normal burning."
Raven smiled. "The added magical residue from the tarrasque and dragon's magic caused an adverse reaction in Philomena, so she accelerated her burning to purge her systems of it. This made the burning a bit more showy than normal, and made her seem sicker than she really was. Had she not acted, it's possible the reaction could have grown worse."
Celestia shook her head. "I'm...not sure I understood."
Melvin smiled. "I think this will explain it." Fluttering up to Philomena, she said, "Gesundheit."
Celestia blinked her eyes. "What?"
Beast Boy smirked. "Philomena's allergic to high level dragon magic, apparently."
Celestia twitched. "What?"
Philomena chirped her concern.
Celestia shook herself off. "Sorry, I was just...surprised, is all."
Raven smiled. "It's alright. You thought you just lost Philomena, only to find out it was allergies. With how long you must have had her, that's bound to have shaken you up a bit. Come on, we should head to the brunch gathering. It's at Sugarcube Corner."
As they headed out, Celestia managed to gain control of herself and smiled. "Thank you, Twilight. I'm glad you were able to help me there. Sorry for my...insistence. I guess I got a little carried away."
Raven smiled. "No problem, Celestia."
"By the way, what are these adorable little creatures?" Celestia asked as one of the flying fuzzballs alighted on her extended wing, looking up at her with large green eyes.
"Parasprites," Raven replied calmly.
"Parasprites?" Celestia asked, shaking the critter off. "But those are incredibly dangerous-"
"These aren't anymore," Raven said calmly.
"But-"
"I nuetered them."
Celestia blinked several times. "Wha...how?"
Raven smiled. "When Fluttershy brought the first parasprite into town, Pinkie recognized them immediately. Given her panic over them, I examined their magic. Noticing both their rate of consumption and rate of reproduction, I knew they could be a problem...until I discovered that their rapid consumption was only because of a nearly overpowering urge to reproduce. They don't actually need food to live. They exist by continuously absorbing and releasing ambient magic from the environment, and they feed on the residue left behind by spellcasting. Once I discovered this, I confined them until I was sure all waiting reproduction was complete, and then removed the part of their instinctive makeup that resulted in reproduction. Without that, they had no interest in food. Given that they are nearly indestructible and don't die of natural causes, this makes them an ideal addition to the town, since they seem to enjoy being helpful."
Celestia blinked. "I'm...I'm impressed, Twilight. We could certainly use some of these in Canterlot, given how much magic is done there on a regular basis. Magic residue buildup has been a major problem in the past."
"I'm sure there are more in the Everfree Forest," Raven replied calmly. "If any show up, I'll gather a good population, neuter them, and ship them to you."
"Thank you," Celestia said with a smile. "So when does the brunch start? I do so look forward to getting to know all of your friends. They will all be there, right?"
Raven sighed. "Rarity might be a little late. We weren't expecting you until later, and she wanted to present you with one of her custom dresses as a gift, but she ran short of gems. She went looking for more."
Beast Boy smiled. "She asked if I could come to help, but I was too busy helping Twilight clean the library after dealing with the parasprites. So she said she was going to take her little sister along to help."
"I wonder how they're doing," Melvin asked thoughtfully.
---------------
Jinx walked along the dusty area, smiling down at the bouncing filly pulling the wheelbarrow behind her. "Careful now, Sweetie Belle," she called out. "You don't want to hurt yourself!"
Sweetie Belle bounced happily. "I can't help it, sis! I'm just so happy that you wanted to do something with ME!" Her voice squeaked on her last word. "It just makes me so happy!" She paused as she came down. "What are we doing, anyways?"
"Well, I'm making a dress for Princess Celestia, and I'm short a few gems, so we're going hunting."
"You mean I get to help you with your work?" Sweetie asked happily. She leaped forward, hugging Jinx tighly. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!"
Jinx smiled, though inside her she felt something wilt. 'She loves Rarity so much...and I'm not her.' She shook that off, though. "You're quite welcome, Sweetie Belle. Now, if we're going to do this right, we'll need some special equipment for you."
"Right!" Sweetie Belle checked the wheelbarrow. "Where's the shovel?"
Jinx smiled. "I brought something better than a shovel." She levitated what looked like socks out of the wheelbarrow.
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "Socks? But...Mom says socks are for grown up ponies."
Jinx suppressed a blush. 'Great,' she thought, 'and here I thought that was just a pervy /mlp/ thing.' "These are special socks, Sweetie Belle. Twilight helped me make them just for you."
"Really?" Sweetie Belle happily pulled them on...then paused, staring at her right forehoof, which now resembled a dragon's claw. "Huh?"
Jinx smiled. "Twilight cast a spell on these so that, when worn, they can be manipulated like the claws of a dragon. Much more efficient than a shovel. They're also completely stain resistant - my spell there - so you don't need to worry about getting them dirty. Go ahead, visualize the claws flexing."
Sweetie Belle stared at the glove, and her face screwed up in an adorable expression of concentration. Jinx held back a squee...barely. The claws flexed. "It worked!" Sweetie gasped.
"That's right," Jinx said happily. "I know you enjoy getting dirty a bit more than I do..."
Sweetie Belle looked up at her with raised eyebrow. "A bit?"
"...so I thought you might enjoy this a bit more than using a shovel," Jinx finished with a sheepish smile. Her horn glowed, lighting up a pocket of gems. "Oh, look Sweetie!"
"Yay!" Sweetie leaped to the spot, digging happily. "Look Rarity!" she called, pulling out a bunch of gems.
"How wonderful! Into the wheelbarrow, Sweetie, and we'll find some more." The two of them continued for some time, Jinx locating various pockets of gems and Sweetie Belle digging them up. All in all, both were enjoying themselves immensely.
After a while, Sweetie started breathing heavily. "I'm getting kind of tired, Rarity."
"That's alright, Sweetie," Jinx said happily. "We have more than enough."
"More than?" Sweetie asked. "Than why did we keep going when we had enough?"
Jinx smiled sheepishly. "You looked like you were having so much fun, I didn't have the heart to tell you we were done."
Sweetie smiled happily. "So we're going home now?"
"Yes, Sweetie, we are." Jinx grabbed the handle of the wheelbarrow with her magic. "There's room for you, Sweetie. Why don't you hop in with the gems?"
Sweetie gasped. "You...you're going to pull me back?"
Jinx smiled. "You earned it."
"Yay!" Sweetie said happily, hopping into the wheelbarrow.
Chuckling, Jinx pulled the basket along, listening to Sweetie's happy noises. Suddenly, as they passed under a tree, Sweetie let out a shriek. Jinx spun. "Sweetie!"
Sweetie Belle was being held by neck and mouth by a large canid wearing jeweled garments. "Hello, pony," he said, his voice strangely pitched.
'Diamond Dogs,' Jinx thought to herself. 'Wasn't expecting this. Probably should have been.' "Look, take what you want," Jinx said, "but let my sister go. She's just a filly!"
"We do take what we want!" he replied, grinning. "We want all the gems!"
"Of course! Here!" Jinx shoved the barrow towards him. "Please, just don't harm Sweetie!"
The dog chuckled. "More gems around." Two other dogs popped up from underground on either side of Jinx. "You find, we get. We want you, pony."
Jinx gulped. 'Saw this one coming.' "Alright, fine. Release my sister, and I'll go with you, get you all the gems you want."
The dog barked a laugh. "How stupid you think we are, pony? Little pony stays...make sure you cooperate!"
Jinx decided it was time to try and get some control of the situation. "And if I don't?"
The dog laughed. "Diamond Dogs find gems, trade gems with other clans for food. No food here. If no food..." He glanced suggestively at Sweetie and licked his lips. "...Diamond Dogs get hungry."
Sweetie let out a squeak of fear as her eyes went wide, tears at their corners.
'Horse apples,' Jinx thought. 'Raven and Melvin both warned me that the threats here are more serious than they appeared in the show. Why didn't I listen?' "Alright," she said, "I'll go with you. Just...just don't hurt her."
The two dogs grabbed her, carrying her underground. After a time, she was thrown against a wall. 'Luckily I'm more used to this kind of treatment than Rarity is,' she thought to herself. Seeing Sweetie flung at her as well, she caught her in her magic.
Sweetie Belle looked up at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Rarity," she said, her voice breaking.
"It's not your fault, Sweetie," Jinx replied. "Don't worry, I'll get us out of this..." She stared around at the vicious looking Diamond Dogs. "...somehow."
The lead Diamond Dog approached. "Alright pony," he said. "Find gems!"
"Alright," Jinx said, activating her magic. Carefully, he scanned the area, finally locating a pocket. Levitating a stick, she marked it. "There you are."
This earned her a glare. "Dig, pony!"
'At least we're on somewhat familiar ground,' Jinx thought to herself. 'Still, the situation's different. Better try a different tack.' Putting on a shocked expression, she asked "Excuse me?"
"Dig, pony!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
The Diamond Dog levelled a spear at Sweetie Belle. "Say again?"
Jinx tried not to sweat. It was time to act for all she was worth. "I mean I am physically incapable of what you ask. My hooves simply do not collect enough dirt to dig in anything remotely resembling an efficient manner. If you waited for me to dig, we'd be here a year and not see a single gem." 'I can't exactly complain about a pony pedi, not when Sweetie's life is on the line.' "That's why I brought my sister along in the first place, to dig." As the Diamond Dogs all turned to stare at Sweetie, Jinx desperately mouthed, "Play along."
Sweetie immediately caught the hint, getting to her hooves, the claw socks still on. The sight of the socks caused several of the dogs to shudder, for some reason. "Fine!" the lead dog said. He levelled the spear at Sweetie. "Dig pony!"
"Not so fast!" Jinx snapped. "Sweetie sprained her ankle at our last dig site! She's in no condition to dig."
"Huh?" The dog turned back and forth between them as Sweetie began to feign a limp on her forehoof. "Who cares?" he asked. "Dig, pony!"
"I swear to Celestia, if you make her dig on that injured hoof and she causes permanent harm to herself, I won't hesitate to yank every gem out of the roof of this cavern and collapse the entire cave system on top of us!" Jinx said quietly.
Sweetie gasped. The dog turned to stare. "You wouldn't!"
Jinx smiled coldly. "Wouldn't I?" Her eyes glinted with a dangerous light.
The lead dog stared at her for a time, then shrugged. "Fine!" he said. "Dogs! You dig!" Other diamond dogs came and dug up the marked spot. He gestured to a rusty looking cart. "Pony pulls!"
Jinx sighed as they attatched the harness to her. 'Time to test canon versus reality,' she thought quietly. She glanced at the dogs unkempt nails. "Well, somebody could use proper nail care. When was the last time you two had a manicure?" she asked the two who were attaching the harness. "You're scratching up my coat with those jagged things!"
"Please, be quiet!" the lead dog snapped, rubbing at one ear.
Jinx suppressed a smile. 'So, sensitive hearing is still their weakness.' Noticing something else, she grinned internally. "Good heavens, what is that smell?" she demanded.
"Smell?" the dog asked, exhaling a green cloud of stench.
"Ah, mystery solved. It's your breath." Noticing Sweetie suppressing giggles, Jinx smiled to herself.
"Enough!" the lead dog screamed. "Search pony!"
Jinx pulled the cart, marking gem spots as she continued her assault on the Diamond Dogs sensitive ears. "Well, since you insist. But I must say, the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane, and this air is stifling, suffocating, and when I try to get a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseated, simply horrible for poor Sweetie's sensitive lungs."
Taking her cue, Sweetie faked a few coughs, although from the sound of it, they were half to stifle laughter at some of the dogs expressions.
"You look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks!" Noticing their flinch at the mention of 'bath', she decided to focus on that for a time. "Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water!" She had a sudden thought. "Water, oh water, I'm terribly thirsty, could I please have some water?"
One of the smaller dogs reached his breaking point. "Good gracious I can't take this anymore! Be quiet pony!"
"And that's another thing. I would appreciate if you stopped calling me pony, I can't tell if you mean me or Sweetie! I am a lady, and I wish to be addressed as such, so you may call me 'Miss' or 'Rarity' or 'Miss Rarity'."
"Enough!" another Diamond Dog cried. "Your whining, it hurts!"
Jinx smiled internally. 'I know,' she thought. 'Time for the finishing blow.' "Whining? I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?" She changed the pitch of her voice carefully. "This is whining! Oh, this harness is too tight! It's going to chafe. Can't you loosen it? Oh, it hurts, and it's so rusty! Why didn't you clean it first? It's going to leave a stain! The wagon's getting heavy!" She could tell she was pushing their limits. "Why do I have to pull it?"
"Make it stop!" one dog exclaimed. "Stop whining!"
"But I thought you wanted whining!" Jinx whined.
The lead dog, however, appeared to be made of sterner stuff. He leveled a spear tip at Sweetie's throat. "One more sound, pony, and we feed."
Jinx fell silent, knowing her gambit had been trumped.
The dog walked back by her, twitching slightly. "Now get back to work, pony!" he shouted, smacking her on the flank.
"Oh Luna, YES!" Jinx let out, trying to suppress the blush that followed. Staring around, she noticed Sweetie staring at her in confusion...and the Diamond Dogs staring at her in revulsion. Suddenly, their glances at Sweetie's socks made sense, and an idea occured to her. 'Thank god I trained myself long ago never to blush,' she thought to herself. Lowering her head to the ground and raising her flank in the air, she grinned seductively at the lead Diamond Dog. "That's right, big boy, spank me. Punish me for defying my rightful masters. Make me beg for forgiveness like the naughty bitch I am!"
Sweetie Belle continued to seem confused, much to Jinx' relief. The Diamond Dogs, however, were all clinging to various stalgmites and stalactites, hiding from Jinx. The lead Dog poked his head around. "Go away, naughty pony. We don't want none of that clop!"
Jinx smiled. "I don't know, I think I want to stay. Ponies can't quite give a spanking like you can." She waved a hoof. "No hands, you know."
"Please, go away! We'll do anything!"
Jinx smiled widely. "Anything?"
The dog gulped. "Almost?"
Not five minutes later, Jinx and Sweetie were back on the surface, each of them pulling three carts full of gems towards Ponyville. Jinx shook her mane. "Well, now that that's behind us, how about we get home?" She looked at Sweetie. "I think we can skip mentioning the bit with the Diamond Dogs to Mom and Dad, don't you think? I'd hate for them to think I put you in danger. They might never let us spend time together again."
Sweetie smiled. "No problem Rarity!" She frowned. "But...what were those things you were saying at the end about being spanked? Spanking's hurt, why would you want it?"
Jinx hesitated. "I'm...not sure how to explain that..."
Sweetie tilted her head. "Is it like when Mommy tells Daddy about the pleather saddle and Daddy tells me to go play outside for a few hours?"
Jinx winced. 'More than I needed to know,' she thought. "Yes, something like that."
"Ew," Sweetie said, making a face. "Rutting's nasty."
Jinx chuckled. "Someday, Sweetie, when you meet the right special somepony, you'll find it less so."
Sweetie shrugged. "I still don't get what spankings have to do with it."
Jinx glanced around. "Don't tell anypony - or Spike and Gilda - I told you this, but...it's called foreplay. Some ponies have...certain things they like to do to get...in the mood."
"Like Mom's saddle?"
"Indeed."
Sweetie made a face. "Big ponies are weird."
Jinx chuckled. "That is certainly an understatement, Sweetie."
Sweetie blinked. "But you ARE a big pony."
"That doesn't mean I am not wierd, Sweetie." Jinx blinked. "Could you do me a favor, though?"
"Name it!"
Jinx leaned in. "Make sure what happened when my flank first got spanked...never reaches Rainbow Dash. She'd never let me live it down." 'And Cyborg would have way too much fun with it,' she thought quietly, internally wincing.
Sweetie looked confused. "Umm...okay." As they walked, Sweetie thought quietly. "Rarity?"
"Yes, Sweetie?"
"What if...what if the Diamond Dogs hadn't backed off?" Sweetie looked a little nervous to be asking this. "What if...what if they'd liked what you did?"
Jinx smiled down at the little filly. "Sweetie Belle, you are my sister." She lowered her head to meet her eyes. "If the situation should demand...I would do anything to protect you." She smiled softly. "Anything."
Sweetie's eyes started to tear up a bit, and she leaped forward to nuzzle against her sister. Jinx pasted a genuine smile on Rarity's face, as inside her heart fell to pieces.
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; ; Poor Jynx... She's feeling so guilty... Maybe THAT'S the master evil plan! KILL THEM WITH GUILT!
I was laughing for quite a bit when the 'naughty pony' bit came up. Excellent work!
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lezcwuMtyG1qe4jpto1_400.jpg
weird, not wierd.
2327018
Thanks.
And once again, one typo.
Ewww.... hope the real Rarity never finds out how Sweetie is being corrupted.
Now I remember why I get no sleep. I stay up for the late night updates for this story.
Jinx talking to Sweetie Belle about foreplay, after feigning a spanking fetish to escape the Diamond Dogs.
I can feel my innocence going... going... gone.
I do believe you have just created the perfect mixture of heartwarming (people being nice to Sweetie Belle always gets me smiling) and wrongness. I mean, eeegh, I may never look at Rarity the same way again.
2327096
2327115
Who said she was feigning?
D'awwww.
WIN!!!
2327115 that creepy thing is the first part wasn't an act
I think the Mane6 are going to get back to their bodies and realize the Titans have ruined their lives by setting an impossible standard for how awesome they are supposed to be.
Did not see the alternate diamond dogs ending coming, and it was glorious.
2327031 Actually, not to rain on your parade, but I found another.
Musty should actually be rusty.
2327338
Actually, two errors is better than one.
See, I'm a perfectionist. Tons of errors means "needed proofreading." Just a few means "needed a second run." Only one, though...that really preys on me.
I can totally picture Jinx being into that sort of thing...
…I never expected Jynx to have that submissive streak in her.
I wonder how this matter will be brought up later?
"Rarity escaped the Diamond Dogs by WHAT!?"
"I think she said "Begging them to spank her."
"That's what I was afraid of."
2327338
musty is a pretty legit word, bro.
musty:
1. Covered with or smelling of mould
2. Stale and unclean smelling
2327815 But if you listen to the audio from the show, Rarity specifically says that the harness is rusty. It's not the fact that the word fits, it's just the word originally used.
Wow, three episodes in one chapter. Nice
2327631
Now THAT'S a Friendship Report!
2327851
It doesn't help that she also said musty earlier in that scene, which is what made me make the mistake when listening to write the scene here.
2327859
One that Rarity may (or may not) be mortified to hear about.
On the plus side, she'll never have to worry about Diamond Dogs again!
2327851
repeating the show word-by-word accurate is kinda creepy for me. so, slight variations are ok.
...
I don't know what to say about this chapter...it was good, but still... Eh, don't mind me, I guess; I know everyone have different views on the 'subject', so don't worry about it.
C&Cs:
I'm sorry it was unneccessarry.
> Correction: ‘unnecessary’.
Raven, do you know much magical healing?
> I’m not sure, but I think you meant: ‘Raven, do you know much about magical healing?’
"Philomena's alergic to high level dragon magic, apparently."
> Correction: ‘allergic’.
They exist by continuously asorbing and releasing...
> Correction: ‘absorbing’.
She shooke that off, though
> Correction: ‘shook’.
she asked the two who were attatching the harness.
> Correction: ‘She asked the two who were attaching the harness.’
the dog asked, exhaling a green cloud of stench.
> Capitalize ‘the’.
one dog exclaimed.
> Capitalize ‘one’.
he shouted, smacking her on the flank.
> Capitalize ‘he’.
Jinx let out, trying to supress the blush that followed
> Correction: ‘suppress’.
Wow this updates aot. Keep up the good work.
Poor Sweetie Belle she shouldn't have heard any of that. I just hope she doesn't blab to the CMC when they are formed, we don't need all of three to lose their innocence.
All of this chapter is a WTF moment from beginning to the end. Manly the end... for me.
2327862
Maybe Jinx made the same mistake.
2327631>>2327859 that would be funny if wasn't so disturbing.
Oh gosh Jinx! We don't want any of that clop!!
So wtf all over this one. That one was funny and disturbing
I didn't really like Jinx in the show but after this chapter... Jinx is looking really good right now
D'aaaaawwwwwww...*ahem*
Yay! Jinx!
Man, when the Mane 6 get back, everything is gonna be dodgy as hell. I really like the episodic style too, I hope you don;t have to stray too far from it to develop the main plotline.
2328045
Thanks for the corrections.
The healing magic, Celestia was actually asking about the number of healing spells Raven knew.
And...I thought that '?' and '!' at the end of a quotation were treated the same grammatically as a ','
...
Well...I can honestly say this came out of left field...and promptly decked me.
Still, wonderful chapter, and I can safely say seeing this new, vulnerable Celestia continues to be a joy. To say nothing of her growing relationship with the Titans, I also enjoy how they treat her as a friend, and how she is trusting, and even coming to them with her problems when she needs help. In the words of the show, "When there's trouble, you know who to call!"
Now, as for the Jinx segment...well, I've read her characterized very well in the past. She can certainly be a hero, and moreover, a very likable character. Seeing her here though tugged on heartstrings I forgot to consider. Sweety LOVES Rarity, and Jinx is both sensitive enough to know this, and cares enough to want to make that filly happy in ways Rarity herself would be hard-pressed to match. In short, part of me thinks Jinx is doing a BETTER job at being a sister than Rarity herself would, dispute how awful that sounds.
And yet, another part of me feels as horrible as Jinx about the fact that it's not Rarity actually doing these things for her. It's a lie of necessity, but a lie all the same. Throw in that we still have no idea what state the Main 6 will return in, let alone settling back into their lives if such is possible, and we have a train wreck so big it can be seen many chapters before it happens.
In short, I find myself hoping to see more soon, and praising this fic even more. ALL THE UPVOTES!!!!
2329070
You're welcome!
Then, it will be:
Raven, do you know much magical healing?
> [Option 1:] Raven, do you know a few magical healing spells?
> [Option 2:] Raven, how many magical healing spells do you know?
If you are referring to the number of healing spells, you need to clarify that in your sentence.
I'm not really sure how you came up with that conclusion.
2329347
SInce that's how I've seen them treated in every book I've ever read when the quote starts the sentence and the speaker is identified afterwards.
2329579
I look it up in one of my old school books and it said that it is fine, so I am letting it go. Sorry about that, something about it was giving me some bad vibes, but I guess it was my imagination. Or, it could be just a style thing in the end, but who know. Eh, grammar is one of the most confusing things to ever exist, beside politics.
2329347>>2329579
Tatsurou is correct here - punctuation inside of quotes as a part of a larger sentence is a dodgy subject. The easiest way to treat it is that punctuation inside quotes has not effect outside of said quotes. So if the quote just a part of a sentence then you do not capitalize the next word, but if a new sentence starts afterword then you do.
2329941
Ummm, sorry, but I kinda already found that out on my own.
2328490I never knew Jinx had it in her
I truly love the way you managed to seamlessly blend 3 episodes into one chapter. Bravo.
2331879
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed.
Honestly, though, I'm having a bit of trouble with next chapter, covering "Call of the Cutie". That's gonna be a hard episode to tweak...
2332145
They're prudes. Or they have religious objections. Or because it's funny. Take your pick.
Where'd you get the whole jinx spank thing were you listening to sexy naughty bitchy rarity while you wrote this?
2332568
Actually, I watched the episode "A Dog and Pony Show", and the part where Rarity really broke the Diamond Dogs was when one of them smacked her on the rear and she started crying about them calling her a mule. Since I'd already established that the Diamond Dogs were of sterner stuff - and anytime Jinx/Rarity tried her talk counter they threatened Sweetie Belle - I needed some way to use that without the crying or offense at being called mule. The spanking bit just struck me as hilarious.
There was also something I read somewhere - a smut fanfic involving Jinx - about her being a 'bad girl' and needing to be 'punished'.