The ball bounced off the rim of the hoop, ricocheting away from the basket to land in the outstretched hooves of a small blue pegasus. The young filly hefted the ball up with a joyful grin. “Ha!” she exclaimed at her disappointed classmates. “That makes S’s for both of you; if you girls miss this next shot, then I win.”
“Yeah, yeah, we know how the game works, Archer,” Scootaloo said, annoyed with herself for missing that last shot. “Just hurry up and take the next shot.”
“C’mon, Archer, make it something we even have a chance at,” pleaded Archer’s friend Dinky.
“What? No way!” Archer dribbled the ball a fair distance from the hoop, looking for a good trick shot. “I’m on a roll this game, you two never even got a turn. No way I’m gonna pass on a perfect win.” Archer carefully lined up her shot, then launched the ball in a graceful arch. The ball bounced off the backboard and fell through the hoop without touching the rim: a perfect shot.
“Yes, I made it,” Archer shouted while Dinky and Scootaloo looked on in disbelief. “Didn’t even hit the rim, which means you have to do the same thing. C’mon Dink, you first.”
Dinky walked over to where Archer was standing while Scootaloo fetched the ball. Dinky caught it, then looked at the round target. She wiped the stinging sweat from her eyes and stared down her target. Dinky threw the ball as hard as she could, and it missed completely.
Dinky’s face blushed a bright red and she buried it in her hooves to hide her embarrassment while Scootaloo snickered behind a hoof. Sounds of quiet chuckling could be heard from some of their other classmates who were half-watching from the sidelines.
“Sorry, Dinky, but you’re a horse,” Archer said while patting her comfortingly on the back. “Don’t let it bother you; so maybe you aren’t the greatest basketball player ever, but you’re still the smartest filly in class.” Dinky just whimpered softly behind her hooves. “Oh, c’mon. Tell you what, after your mom gets here to pick you up, how about later we play a game of chess. That way you can beat my flank at something today.”
Dinky looked up in excitement. “Okay, that’ll be fun!” she said cheerfully, letting Archer help her back to her hooves.
“For you maybe,” Archer grumbled, still humiliated from their first game of chess. “I still don’t know how you beat me in six moves.”
“It was five moves actually,” Dinky cut in. Archer scowled at her, but Dinky just laughed. Archer smiled self-consciously for a moment before nodding her head off the court.
“Well, let’s get going then.”
“Hey,” Scootaloo called out. “You do remember it’s my turn, right?”
“Oh, sorry Scootaloo, my bad,” Archer replied as she ran to fetch the basketball and tossed it to Scootaloo. “Go ahead and take your shot so you can miss and we can all go home.”
Scootaloo scowled at her, then lined up her shot. Taking careful aim, she let the ball fly. It sailed through the air to bounce off the backboard, dropping through the net—but not without touching the rim. The foals watching groaned in disappointment, then went back to talking to each other as they waited for their parents to come pick them up.
“Tough luck,” Archer said with a conciliatory smile, then she and Dinky walked off.
Scootaloo kicked at some loose gravel, sighing in disappointment. “Well, guess basketball isn’t my special talent.”
“Oh, look at that, yet another thing you’re not good at.” Scootaloo stiffened at the mocking words. Turning around, she saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walking toward her. The smugness on their faces was only matched by the arrogance in their stride. Just looking at the two of them was enough to annoy her on most days, but today had been particularly bad.
“Gee, Scootaloo,” Diamond Tiara continued. “If this keeps up, it seems like you’ll never find anything you’re good at.”
“Get lost, Diamond Tiara,” Scootaloo snarled and stomped her hoof.
“Yes, it must be horrible to be so talentless,” Diamond said, ignoring Scootaloo and adopting an air of tragic hopelessness. “Unlike Silver Spoon here; did you notice that she got her cutie mark this morning?”
“Oh, did she really?” Scootaloo deadpanned. “I can’t believe I missed that, what with you already mentioning it a hundred times today.”
“Yes, it’s so nice to be special. Who knows, maybe if you were to hang around me, you could be special one day too. Of course,” Diamond continued with a cruel laugh, “I’d never let a loser like you spend time with me.”
Scootaloo snorted in a mix between disgust and amusement before turning to walk away.
“What’s the matter,” Diamond called after her. “Flying away again? Oh, that’s right you can’t.” Scootaloo turned around again, her eyes flashing. Diamond Tiara always seemed to know which buttons to push.
“Just wait,” Scootaloo yelled without thinking. “I’ll be flying any day now.” The soft background chatter faded for a moment as the rest of the foals nearby looked to see what the commotion was all about. Diamond Tiara smile took on a cruel edge.
“Oh, really?” she asked, and Scootaloo nodded in reply. “Well, that’s great news; everypony should hear about it, right? Hey, everypony,” she called out, drawing the attention of their nearby classmates waiting for their parents. “Everypony, come here, I have a very important announcement.”
The other students came crowding around, curious. “Hey, everypony,” Diamond said, that cruel smile still on her face. “Scootaloo here just gave me some amazing news. She says she’ll be flying any day now, right Scootaloo?”
Scootaloo felt the anger in her chest freeze over with fear and nervousness.
“Y-yeah that’s right, any day now,” she lied, unsure of what Diamond Tiara was planning.
“Isn’t that great news everypony?” she said to the class, many of whom nodded in agreement. There was a small smattering of applause, and a few ‘great news, Scoot’ from smiling classmates.
“Too bad it’s a lie.”
The applause and smiles faded away, replaced by worried and confused expressions. Silver Spoon whispered into Diamond’s ear, but Diamond pulled away.
“That’s right,” Diamond continued, “turns out Scootaloo here won’t be flying any time soon. She may never even fly at all.”
Shame, anger, and fear all settled into Scootaloo’s chest, a tiny ball of writhing emotions that made her head hurt and stomach ache.
“How do you know that?” she croaked out, but Diamond’s jeering smile only widened.
“No cutie mark, no talent, no wings: just a loser of a pegasus.”
One by one smiles turned to disgust as the sharper foals picked up on what Tiara was doing. Those that did not want to watch the unfolding train wreck turned and left the circle of onlookers. At Scootaloo’s sudden, “What about you?” though, they turned back in surprise.
“What about me?” came Diamond’s confused reply.
“You don’t have a cutie mark either, so what is it that makes you so special? It seems to me that you’re no more special then I am; heck even Silver Spoon got her cutie mark before you.” An ugly look flashed across Diamonds face for a moment before being replaced by her usual arrogance. Silver Spoon backed away from her friend slightly though, looking at the ground.
“Ha, I don’t need a cutie mark; I’m already special.”
“Oh, yeah,” Scootaloo returned with a derisive scoff, “special at what? Being a spoiled brat?” The stunned look on her face gratified Scootaloo. Dad was right, she thought with a grin. It is much better to stand up for yourself. “After all, the only thing you seem to be good at is talking big, and the one thing you seem to have going for you is that your dad’s rich.” Diamond’s expression darkened and her eyes flashed in anger, but Scootaloo kept pushing.
“Isn’t that right, daddy’s girl?” Scootaloo turned her confident grin on the rest of her classmates, who looked back and forth between the two fighting fillies. “What do you guys think? Bet she ends up with her daddy’s face on her flank.” A few of the onlookers laughed along with her, but most just stood watching uncomfortably, uncertain of what they should do.
Scootaloo turned back to Diamond Tiara, and her grin faded slightly. Anger marred Diamond’s face with a hideous scowl, and her face was suffused with a bright red. Silver Spoon was tugging on her hoof, trying to drag her away. “Let’s go Diamond Tiara, she’s not worth it,” she said quietly, but Diamond pushed her off. Scootaloo involuntarily back up half a step when Diamond stormed right into Scootaloo’s face, her nostrils flaring.
“Who do you think you are?” Diamond hissed in her face, spraying saliva over her muzzle. “You’re nothing compared to me. I’m special, talented, pretty, and intelligent. You’re stupid, ugly, and useless.”
The anger welling in Scootaloo’s chest grew hotter, sweeping away her shame and fear until the heat was all there was.
“You’re worthless,” Diamond spat.
Scootaloo shook from the building emotions she was holding in.
“And you always will be.”
The edges of Scootaloo’s vision went red, she had never been so angry in her life. She felt that if she didn’t do something soon to let the anger out, she’d snap.
“Who do you think you are?!” came a high pitched yell, taking everypony by surprise. Scootaloo’s anger ebbed away to be replaced by amazement as she watched a pure white filly bear down on Diamond Tiara. It was Diamond’s turn to take several steps back, startled by Sweetie Belle’s outburst.
“So what if Scootaloo can’t fly,” Sweetie Belle yelled right in Diamond’s face. Her face was red with anger, and the way she stared right in Diamond’s eyes made the bully nervous. “That doesn’t make her useless. You’re just jealous that Silver Spoon got her cutie mark before you.”
“That’s not true!” Diamond Tiara yelled back.
“Yes, it is, I saw you yelling at her before school this morning.” Everypony turned to look at Silver Spoon, who looked down at the ground, flustered. “That’s no way to treat your friend. And why pick on Scootaloo? Scootaloo never did anything to you, so why are you being so mean!” Sweetie Belle’s voice cracked into a high pitched squeak on the last word, and the red drained away from her face in horror.
Diamond’s look of confusion and anger slowly changed to a mocking leer. “Oh, look everypony, Squeaky Belle’s found herself a best friend.” Usually Diamond’s nickname for Sweetie Belle would get her a few laughs, but this wasn’t the usual teasing. It was personal, and serious, and the others watching weren’t amused. “I think the two of you are perfect for each other: the loser who can’t fly and the loser who can’t talk.”
Sweetie Belle shrank under Diamond’s derisive gaze. “So, Scootaloo will never get a cutie mark of course, she’s good for nothing. You on the other hoof are at least entertaining Squeaky Belle. So what’s your mark going to be?” Diamond’s voice turned thoughtful. “I’m guessing a dog’s toy.” She started laughing at her own joke and Sweetie Belle sank lower, all the way to her stomach and her eyes misted over. This only made Diamond laugh harder, though.
Her laughter was cut off by a hoof on her chest, pushing her away from the crying filly. “Don’t touch me!” she yelped, looking on baffled as Scootaloo stepped between her and Sweetie Belle.
“Leave Sweetie Belle alone,” Scootaloo growled.
“Yeah? And what are you going to do if I don’t?”
“How about I punch you right in your ‘pretty’ face? We’ll see just how special you look with a fat lip.” Scootaloo stomped her hoof on the ground a few times to make a point. Diamond’s derisive smile froze as she considered this unexpected turn of events. She was used to picking on what she saw as the ‘weaker’ fillies and colts. Not because she was afraid, she’d tell herself, but because they were much more fun. They never stood up for themselves, and they never stood up for each other.
Now these two were doing the exact opposite, and she wasn’t really sure how to react to that and still come out on top. She tried staring Scootaloo down, but the filly just stared back. Her mind raced as she tried to think of someway to win this; then it came to her. Her eyes narrowed in victory and her frozen smile regained its former spiteful life.
“Now there’s no need for violence, girls,” she simpered. “I think I know a way to settle this: a bet.”
“A bet?” Scootaloo asked dubiously. “What kind of bet?” Diamond’s smile widened and she started to walk slowly around Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo matched her movements, keeping herself between Sweetie Belle and the bratty bully.
“A competition to be exact. You, Scootaloo, pick something you think you’re good at, and I will pick someone for you to compete against.” Diamond stopped after completing one circle. “If you win, then I’ll apologize to Squeaky Belle and promise to leave her alone from now on—”
“Deal!” Scootaloo burst out before Diamond could finish.
“Now, now, you don’t even know the stakes yet.”
“They don’t matter,” Scootaloo asserted. “I won’t let you keep making fun of her.”
“Let’s see what you say after you hear the whole deal,” Diamond stated callously. “If you lose...” She paused dramatically, everypony on needles to hear her next words.
“Yeah, if I lose, what?”
“If you lose, then you have to admit to everypony that I was right, that you are a stupid, ugly, talentless, and worthless pegasus.” Her heartless smile spread over her entire face at the stunned silence that followed. “And that you always will be.” Scootaloo’s eyes opened in shock, and Sweetie Belle whimpered softly. Diamond stepped forward to stand only inches away from her newfound nemesis, whispering to her softly.
“Well...?”
What an unexpected turn of events! The stakes are most definitely higher now. I'm glad you brought DT into this; DT's my fave baddie.
Thanks for giving your readers information on DT's lack of a cutie mark, though! That tells us exactly where this would take place, say, in the show's canon. It explains the absence of Apple Bloom.I would have liked to see her present at the bulling, though, but that's just me!
Archer and Dinky have pretty good characterization. Archer reminds me of Dash as she's both confident in her own abilities and yet willing to do something her friend is better at to cheer her up. Best filly.
Looking forward to more!
2486742 Well, the events in the story take place about a month and a half before the start of the show. As for Archer and Dinky, I kinda put them in the story as a shout out to another fanfic favorite of mine, Of Rumbling Dinks, which if you have not read, you really should.
2486800
Hmm, Rumbling... Thunderlane's brother, perhaps?!
I shall check it out sometime!
(YAY! Finally, a story where I'm not homeless and starving and hiding from abusive dead parents while sleeping in the clubhouse and stealing food out of the dumpsters behind Sugarcube Corner and my whole life doesn't suck! YAY!)
(A-HEM! Language, Scootaloo...)
(Sorry...)
(reads avidly...)
(...yeah, yeah, that's it, Diamond, you just messed with the wrong pegasus, you stuck-up little brat...)
(...and then...)
("On hiatus"? Oh COME ON!)
(Now, Scootaloo, we talked about this...)
(Yeah, yeah, "it's just a story", I know! But...)
(Would ice cream make you feel better, squirt?)
(Um... maybe...)
(A double scoop of rainbow sherbet?)
(YAY!)
2613216 I hope for her to fly sometime in the show myself. I won't mind if she never does, she's already awesome, but I can still hope.
2614370 Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. Honestly, it's the one I'm least confident over, mostly because I wasn't sure how it would be received. In my mind there's not much difference between calling someone a blank-flank and calling them useless, but it still felt a little too mean, even for DT.
2616340
Yes, but Diamond Tiara (at least within the in-show continuity) is a mean bully, so what you've written is actually quite believably in-character for her. Bullies find a point of weakness, and go after it until their target breaks. The CMCs (or CMCs-to-be, in this case) are sensitive about their blank flanks displaying for all the world to see that they don't yet know who they are or what they're meant to be, so that's Diamond's line of attack.
(*grumbles* Unfortunately... rotten little stuck-up bi--)
(SCOOTALOO! You watch your mouth, young filly, or I'll wash it out with soap -- and don't think I won't.)
(Eep! ... sorry...)
(Now just cool it and behave yourself.)
(Yes sir...)
(the orange pegasus filly quietly backs away, mumbling to herself)
(...wow, and I thought Fluttershy had the Death-Star Stare around here...)
2617244 Exactly! And that is on my wish list for season four; oh, I'd also like to see Scootaloo's family.
Gah I need more! Such a cliffhanger! Can't wait to read more. This chapter was intense. The fight was described well enough for me to imagine this perfectly.
2617244
(Um...that's because I'm... you know, a pegasus? And not very well...most of the time... I'm sorry...)
YEAH! 'Cause I'm a PEGASUS!
(Kind of a weird-looking one, though.)
(...)
(...what? Am I wrong?)
(Not unless Twilight casts that spell on me, darling. And considering what happened the last time...)
(OnlybecauseIhavethisreallysuperneatopedalpoweredflyinghelicoptermachinethingythatletsmegoZOOMintheairwhenIpedalreallyreallyhardandmakethepropellersgoallwhackawhackawhackaandit'sreallyrealltyfunyoushouldtryitsometime!)
(Pinkie, that thing can't possibly generate enough lift to get you off the ground. The math says so, see? It's against the laws of physics!)
(Well,that'sokiedokie,'causeIneverstudiedlaw.)
(... ARGH! Pinkie, that joke is older than Celestia!)
(Excuse me?)
(A-heh...)
(...)
(Tank, you're up.)
(Turtlesdon'ttalk,silly!)
(Oh, right.)
(Hey, if you've got a fighter jet I can borrow, I'm there. I'd still kinda like my wings to work, though.)
2617495 Yeah, I suck; month-long hiatus after a cliffhanger, I should be shot. I'm glad the description was detailed enough
2617770 Changeling hybrid, huh? Well, points for creativity, but I find the whole changeling thing being way overused. The changelings can't be responsible for everything!
Probably my favorite bet of all time was the one between the old man and the young man. The young man challenged the old man, who was said to have never lost a fight, to a battle of wits. The old man promptly shot him dead, "Smart man would've brought a gun."
2635309 Haven't heard that one before.
And Scootalove is the best
I am now beginning to read this story. I will write the review when I am finished and have time.
REVIEW
Reviewer: TheDrunkenJinjo
The following review is as objective as possible, but could eventually contain some subjective influences. I'm an All-American whitewashed Brotha, and proud of it, so take from that what you will.
Once you've posted your story in the group A for Effort you've accepted to be reviewed. No review is made to humiliate the writer, but to make him/her grow up and enhance his skills.
Name of Story: Birthday Wishes
Grammar: Your spelling is essentially flawless and your grammar is impeccable. Nothing else needs to be said, it's as close to perfect as you can get.
Score: (10/10)
Originality: While stories about a disabled Scootaloo are nothing really new around here, the way you approach the concept is entirely fresh. The story doesn't focus so much on the illness itself, but more on how it's affecting the lives of Scootaloo, her parents and her friends. It also includes more high points than most stories of the same nature, creating a nice balance with the more depressing aspects.
Characters: Scootaloo herself is portrayed wonderfully, keeping her core personality intact while also fleshing it out and giving it more depth, as well as giving her thoughts and feelings that match how an actual child would think or feel. The supporting characters such as Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Diamond Tiara are also presented well and are in character, but it's clear that Scootaloo is the focus, as it should be for a fic like this.
OCs: Scootaloo's father is amazingly fleshed out and genuine. His reactions and concern for his daughter come off as completely heartfelt and realistic. It's also worth noting that the guilt he feels for believing himself to be the cause of Scootaloo's illness give him even more depth and complexity. A fantastic character if there ever was one.
Additional Notes: From a personal point of view, this story is amazing. From an objective viewpoint, it's even better. I seriously can't give this fic enough praise and I am very much looking forwards to where you go with it from here.
FINAL VERDICT:
[APPROVED]
Congrats, your story has been approved by the group A for Effort! Your story will be moved from the "Stories Under Review" folder and deposited in the "Main" folder shortly.
Best Wishes,
TheDrunkenJinjo
2728676 ??? Why couldn't she fly?
Story Title: Birthday Wishes
Author: ShootingStar159
Reviewed by: Sirius_Face
Scootalove is best love, or so I have heard before. I’ve also heard the opposite, that Scootabuse is best abuse. Regardless of which is more entertaining, readers can often expect something interesting when a story focuses on the least developed member of the CMC. Birthday Wishes has the best of both love and abuse, without the need of a dark tag. Being a sad slice of life story, Birthday Wishes presents an original idea of Scootaloo’s life before meeting her friends and becoming a crusader, introduces her well-developed parents, and even puts a fresh spin on established characters.
Full Review
Score: 9/10
2731412>>2726857
Thanks for the reviews. I just moved out to Arizona a few days ago, so I won't have Internet until Tuesday. But once I have it I can get the next two chapters I've written to my editors. So expect a new chapter Wednesday or Thursday.
2712891 Hope you didn't die or anything...
2736867
Forgive me for being slow. Review under construction. I just got derailed by Windows decided to do one of those restart updates while I was away, so I've had to restart. I'm also fairly busy during the day, but I will definitely get it done on 6/18/2013.
This is Kalash93 of WRITE with a review for your story, as you asked me to give. I apologize if it is a little brief and vague.
Initial impressions were nice and they were supported as I continued along with the story.
Criticism sledgehammer inbound!
For a story titled "Birthday Wishes", the birthday seems to be of surprisingly low importance. Scootaloo doesn't seem to be looking forward to her own birthday very much, while it practically consumes her father's mind. The disconnect is a little strange. I can understand a gradual slow buildup to it, but given as I have no idea about the timetable or plan, it's more than a little odd for me. I mena, you're already 16K into a story and the seemingly central plot element, the one you are using to sell the story, is being treated as if it is of secondary importance.
The biggest sin is changing protagonists. You change the main character between Scootaloo and her father, as if you cannot decide whom to focus on. This is not horribly confusing, as you do a good job of establishing who we're following. it still creates the effect of us reading two partial stories about two characters instead of one full story about one character.The second thing that this does is that it spoils the plot in advance by letting us in on the thoughts of the two characters involved. It will not be a surprise when Scootaloo gets her birthday present, because her father's POV already tell the reader what i being planned. It will not be as rewarding when we see Scootaloo's reaction to her birthday present, because we already know her hopes and expectations. There is no area of suspense or doubt about that core crux of the plot. The motivation to read on is becoming less and less because we feel as if we already know what is going to happen.
I may be alone on this one, but I feel that you really need a stronger central conflict in this story. The thread of Scootaloo being flightless is established as a fact earlier on, and while that is a good source of eploitable angst, it isn't so much of a struggle or conflict as it is an unpleasant truth, and that doesn't make a story intersting.
The plot seems to wander around with only the faintest idea as to where it's going. Is this story about Scootaloo? Is it about her father? Is it about Scootaloo not being able to fly? I read the whole thing through, and I honestly say that I feel more as if I read excerpts from three different fics than like I read one fic. Normally, I tell authors that they ought to slow down because the audience won't run away from them if there isn't some sort of dramatic climax once every thousand words. However, with you I feel as if you ought to tighten up and accelerate your narrative a little bit. This is my most minor complaint and should be taken more under advisement than as an indictment of your style or story.
Deserved praise inbound!
If there is any one thing about this fic that you did well, it is the characters. They all feel so alive and believable. You do a good job at writing Scootaloo with your own twist. While I would not say that she is absolutely in line with what I envision about her from the show and my own headcanon, your work with the character is perhaps exemplary. She mixes toughness and insecurity, boldness and doubt, youth, and strength in a very compelling way. She is a complex character developed and handled properly. You get high marks for both her mother and her father. Her mother seems a tad too irritable and vengeful over minor things like cupcakes. Her father is an excellent archetype of a good father who tries his best despite his limitations and doubts. For original characters, both of them feel completely organic in Ponyville, as if they've been there the whole time You've done a damn good job at giving them personalities, quirks, and so on.I must say that one thing which many writers forget about is to make their characters quirky and have tics. Those little touches like body language, voice intonation, stutter, and so on, really do bring the characters to life. You do an excellent job of illustrating the perspective of both parent and child. You manage to do this with your characters in a way that makes them ooze personality with every step and touches every line of dialogue they speak.
Dialogue is done well. It's mostly just functional and serves its purpose, but it is effective and combined with enough narration, action, and description to avoid the problem of feeling as if all the characters are disembodied heads yapping endlessly in a white void. The sheer amount of personality you manage to cram into it, however, has to be commended. I can tell who is talking immediately; I'm never confused about speakers, and even if you didn't, the distinct speaking styles of your characters would make it easy to determine who says what.
Your mechanics are fairly good. I was not paying much attention or looking for errors, so proofread again if you wish.
This story is a rare type for me, because it is slice of life, but I don't find it insufferably dull. In fact, I found myself getting more into it, with the exception of the birthday question, as I went along. It's really quite enjoyable, and is improving the more I read it. Your writing style is a healthy balance which combines narration, dialogue, and action in very even proportions, and manages to avoid the usual slice of life problem of getting stuck on plot tumors that should have taken only a few hundred words to resolve, but instead end up lasting for thousands of words. You do away with much of the filler and instead focus on the actual moments of the day that matter. There are also all the various ups and down that occur during it. Scenes feel neither rushed nor prolonged, though their connections can sometimes seem nebulous. The result is that your pacing is good and I never find myself getting bored. The reason why I say that it's merely good is because the whole thing feels just a bit too slow, which coupled with the feeling of being generally aimless, does make it drag on a bit.
This story is slightly more memorable than other sad poor flightless Scootaloo fics. One reason because you gave her a family that is not Rainbow Dash, and you did an excellent job of showing the family dynamic as loving but not always totally harmonious. Another reason is that you aren't overplaying on the sadness to try and force the reader to feel sad. I think that this is more of a slice of life story than a sad story, It's certainly melancholly, and you've gotten that across effectively. For a slice of life fic, you sure have taken a pretty broad slice, showcasing to us different aspects of different lives of different characters. It's all handled quite maturely and evenly with a sense of realism underlying it all, as if this could be any nuclear family anywhere.
Overall, your fic is fairly good. I cannot shake the feeling that once you come back from hiatus, what what follows will be even better. You earn 7/10 flutteryays, which is the high side of average, but not spectacular.
I hope you enjoyed your review and that you go on to write even better in the future.
Kalash93 -- WRITE's sarcastic gunman.
2742877 Ah, but forgive me, I didn't thank you for the review
So, yes, thanks for the detailed and helpful review
you shouldn’t bet on schoolgrounds scootaloo, oh boy, great story though