You've been living in Equestria for a month now. Your life looks to be going in a positive direction. The ponies love you, your jobs keep you busy, and love may be in the air. But is it really as peaceful as it seems?
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What's with the giant spaces for each paragraph? It's not needed.
2288747
I was told that it makes them easier to read.
With the spaces the words aren't bunched together.
2288819 wel it is easy to read now i dont mind. in matter of fact i encourage it
2288819 Yeah... It just made it annoying to read. One press of the Tab key for an indentation is all you really need. Two or three is just annoying.
I do have to say though, your clop was really well written. Far better than most of the stuff that comes out of here. I'd say its on par with what Darf writes when he isn't grossing everyone out.
I would definitely try one again. The details, the distinction of feeling, the other stuff going on at the same time, it all came together to paint a beautiful off white painting (see what I did there?).
If this is your first time writing clop then bravo my good friend. You have exceeded the bar that is set for everyone and passed with flying colors. All the while making the others look bad. Well, they were bad in the first place but thats neither here nor there.
2289452
When it comes to the original document, I just let FIMfic do the indention for me when I hit the indent paragraph button. I figured it only indented once. Though the transition between google doc and this might make it out to be 2-3 rather thane one. I don't know I'm not doc savvy.
Thank you for the compliment on my clop. I like it to be well written and believable. There's more going on than just "hurr penus in maregina oooho I'm cumming so hard!" when it comes to intercourse. It's labor intensive if you're really getting into it, and of course it's physical exertion, you're going to sweat, your heart is going to pound, and when you get close there is a build up of pressure.
I have no idea who this "Darf" is. And as far as this being my first time writing clop? It's not. The first time I wrote clop was back in March of 2012 when I first started writing for ponies. That, along with a lot of my regular work, was garbage compared to what I can do now. I've had time to practice and get better. If you look through "Dark Side of the Moon" and "Sad Sweet Melodies" you'll see how far I've come if we compared it to "Spin the Bottle" which is on my pastebin.
http://pastebin.com/u/AetherPony
Which brings up another point. I hate it when a talent drawer says "Anyone can put up word and write." It's not that simple. I can easily say, "Anyone can pick up a pencil or tablet and draw." That's not true either. Both take practice. The way I see it, through the words of a close friend, it's like some people think that if they sling shit at a keyboard they'll suddenly have "Moby Dick" staring back at them.
Though, I believe I've just contradicted what I just said. Anyone can write or draw, you don't magically start out as an expert. I know I certainly didn't, you should see it for yourself. It takes practice and a lot of it. I guess a more correct term would be: "Anyone can write or draw, but not everyone is willing to practice and improve themselves."
Aww, so Zecora don't love him? Men that is very disappointed, now Anon will never trust another mare anymore, he will think is just another trick
2291411
Yup, twas a changeling.
2291447
Awww, I was hopping that he and Zecora could have something, the changelin said she had a little love, so there could be hoped, and now he had the goal to free his friend
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Oooh... you are not going to like what'll happen next chapter...
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Please tell me that at least Zecora will lived
2291497
We'll see
2291502
Indeed. well Eris at least will no longer had to worried of him don't touch him, because of his morals, she will not touch her, because of his new fresh mental scars. (still want that Zecora return to the possibles girlfriends) Je good look, trying to solve that with chaos.
On the bright side, she can rest assure that he will not touch Pinkie either
Mother.Bucking.CHANGELINGS
Very tragic deception, what a mind job.
When I saw this
wow, official mind fuck. Then again I'm curious on Zecora on her case now. That whole month and the changeling was disguised as her, while that may piss someone off, I somehow can't really picture being mad at something that has saved my life quite a few times. Can't wait for more
I feel like I'm at the docks with all this shipping.
Of course he ain't gonna die, fuck sake. Stop asking this stupid questions! You already know what's gonna bloody happen, ya twat. Can't believe Zecora is a Changeling, she sucked his dick and everything! Bah ha ha ha... She didn't get to take away his innocence, what a shame. For her of course, he's probably quite happy about it. Well actually, he's to busy being scared of a bunch of Timber Wolves. That just leaves Eris and Pinkie, it'll most likely be Pinkie, cause Eris is crazy as fuck. Awk, he gone fuck that Pony.
I couldn't help but read that in Vegeta's voice.
Hopefully this Equestria has qualified xeno-, because Anon really needs one at this point. That, or to lock himself up in a monastery, because these beings are truly mucking up his mind and libido.
Sweet. I'm gonna go get myself killed now just to spite her