To her credit, Madam Mayor Marigold did a great job of getting the play started.
Almost everypony in Ponyville that wasn't in the cast or crew was there in the audience. Yet, she wasn't intimidated a bit. She trotted onstage full of confidence. Octavia's quartet quieted.
Spike had, happily, talked Madam Mayor out of the bells-and-motley that she had originally selected for her costume. "A jester isn't quite the same as a minstrel," he had explained, patiently.
Marigold, clad in emerald and sporting a smart cap with a jaunty red feather, hit her mark and declaimed:
"Playgoers, I bid you welcome! On this Hearth's Warming Eve, let us reflect upon our history and rejoice! For this is the tale of all of us, of you and I and everypony you know. And it begins with no more than this:
"Once upon a time...."
And so, Marigold spun the tale of Hearth's Warming Eve. Of the distrust between the tribes, when the Earth Folk desperately courted the favor of the Sky Folk in hope of rain and lived in terror of the Magic Folk, who controlled the day and night.
(Diamond Tiara broke character and waved to her father, Filthy Rich, who waved back, proud of his little girl.)
Marigold told of the onset of the Fimbulwinter. Of the desperation of the Earth Ponies, bowed under the weight of snow. Of the confusion of the Pegasi, lost in a sky that had suddenly become hostile and strange. And of the bewilderment of the Unicorns, who burrowed into their books but could find no answers.
Then the tumultuous Summit, the hope of the three tribes, which ended in confusion and rancor.
At last, the painful decision to abandon home, hearth and field, and strike out to new lands.
"Yet even as the Great Migration of the Three Tribes began, the fate of all of ponykind turned on events in Unicornia where, in a black cavern beneath the Castle of the Unicorn King, dire deeds were unfolding...."
***
The stage was black. Slowly, a gray light illuminated a still figure center stage. The figure, bound and hooded, stirred slowly, then jerked as awareness returned. The figure struggled uselessly for a time, then calmed. It tilted its head, as if listening.
"Whoever you are," she shouted, "I suggest you untie me! I am Clover, advisor to the Unicorn King and apprentice to Star Swirl the Bearded! I caution you, they will be angered by my abduction! And I, blinded and bound though I am, I am not without resources! You would be well advised to release me at once! Do you hear? Answer! Are you there? Do not risk my anger; it is terrible!"
A feminine voice, silky, mocking, floated across the stage. "Threats do not suit you, Clover the Clever," she said. "You are well-known to be reasonable and kind-hearted. Your threats have no teeth."
A heavily-cloaked shape, vague in the dim light, paced slowly behind the helpless Clover. There was a faint sound of jingling bells.
"Do you know where you are?" asked the stranger.
Clover turned, trying to track her captor. After a moment, she replied, "I am in the long-abandoned mines beneath the Great Keep of Castle Unicornia."
The stranger laughed and stamped a quick tattoo of approval. "Well done, child! You caught the distinctive scent of mining dust and felt the worn ruts of the mining carts under your hooves. Well done! I am proud of you!
"And also, do you not, sense the heavy resistance of the walls around you. Resistance to your magic. A trick and a trap in these ancient mines. It's the residue, you see, of the gems that we tore from the flesh of the land. Stone is obdurate, enduring. And spiteful. The land hates us, you see."
The stranger circled Clover, passing between the prisoner and the audience like a dark moon, eclipsing her.
"We have always been diggers, we unicorns. Poking, prying, cutting, seeking the treasures in the darkest depths, the secrets in the black places. Arrogantly unconcerned that something in the black places might be hungry for us."
The stranger stepped nearer to Clover, not so much advancing into the light as drawing the shadows closer.
"In the dark, I discovered a great secret. And it devoured me. And I rejoice in this, because I am relieved of foolish hope."
"Oh, be silent, fool!" cried Clover. "Begone! You tire me. Your cant is less than that of a novice, terrified of her first glimpse of the Realm Undying."
"And yet, here you are, helpless," sneered the stranger. "At my mercy."
"What is it you want of me?" demanded Clover.
The stranger orbited close to her prisoner now.
"What do I want of you?" she asked. "Why, nothing. Precisely nothing. No secret. No spell. No word. No movement. All I need of you is your absence. Then all of my plans are complete."
There was a soft jingling of golden bells.
"Who are you?!" shouted Clover. "You cannot be who you pretend to be, monster!"
The stranger walked into the light at center stage.
"Of course I am. I can always be who I pretend to be," she hissed. "And now..."
The stranger abruptly snatched off her hood to reveal her face. The face of Clover the Clever, twisted with madness.
"I'm you! Ha ha! Bah ha ha ha! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!"
The stranger stalked into the darkness, followed by the jingling of bells.
In an instant, the stage went black.
***
While the audience gasped, the crew ran to pull Clover off the stage.
Big Macintosh pulled off her hood. “Okay?” he asked, as the rest of the crew removed her “bonds.”
Minuette flashed her brilliant smile and nodded. “How did I do?”
Director Dash smiled. “Pretty well. The hood helped muffle your voice just enough, so that the audience never noticed the switch.”
“And my next scene?” asked Minuette.
Director Dash winked. “Your next scene will be historic.”
***
The house lights were down, but the stage was brilliantly lit. A thick carpet of fog moved uneasily over the boards while heavy clouds drifted slowly on wires across the set. Mister Breezy's effects crew wafted tufts of smoke over the stage, giving the set a sense of space and movement.
From a great distance, came the howl of the windigos.
Up in her sound booth, Vinyl Scratch set needle to turntable. Thunderbirds are go! she thought, gleefully.
Down in the orchestra pit, Octavia grimaced. Pre-recorded music! The idea! Still, she glanced at the other members of her quartet, let's add some richness to the production, shall we? Ready? And... now!
The Ride of the Valkyries swelled and filled the hall.
Commander Hurricane (Derpy Hooves) and Private Pansy (Scootaloo) swooped into the set, leveled off and soared.
As a practical matter, although both actors were pegasi, both "flew" on harnesses. One good, real flap would carry a pegasus completely off-stage and hovering in place would look ridiculous to anypony with wings. So the pegasi relied on skillful wirework to move them to their marks on stage while the actors mimicked convincing flight postures.
From the wings, Rainbow Dash watched intently, looking for flaws. Beside her stood Twilight Sparkle, ready, as ever, to lecture.
On stage, Commander Hurricane soared proudly. "Be alert, Private Pansy!" she ordered. "You never know where enemies might be lurking!"
Alarmed, Private Pansy fluttered this way and that, searching for enemies. But in the end, she returned to Commander Hurricane, puzzled. "I don't see any threats, Commander. Just... snow."
Hurricane turned. Her expression was masked by her great helm. Sotto voce, she said, "Private, we have been hunted since we left Pegasopolis. Prepare to fight well and, if necessary, to die well."
Out of the vapor that covered the stage, there arose... monsters. Lumpy, bumpy shapes (Snips, Snails and Twist, in costume) capered beneath Hurricane and Pansy. From behind the clouds, deformed creations of tooth and claw (Miss Cheerilee and Silver Spoon) threatened and mocked the travelers.
Other distorted animal shapes drifted across the stage, modeled by Rarity and Pinkie Pie, propelled by Mister Breezy's fans.
Commander Hurricane hefted her spear and stabbed at one. It burst like a balloon. But then others came, two, four, then a dozen, swarming towards the pair. Hurricane and Pansy hovered back to back, striking furiously with their spears, while the cloud monsters pranced and guffawed at their struggle.
"You understand," whispered Twilight Sparkle, in the shadow beside the stage, "that there were no real cloud monsters. Hurricane made no mention of them in her Apologia. They were the invention of later writers."
"I think I know about clouds, Twilight, sheesh!" replied Rainbow Dash. "When you spend as much time as I have working with them, you get to know them pretty well. But here's the thing: the shapes of clouds are funny sometimes. You look at them and see things. This one looks like a bunny, right, and that one looks like a tree. Eventually, you realize that their shapes aren't out there, they're in here," she tapped her head. "Maybe I don't know the right way to say this, but look what's going on here: Pansy sees only clouds and snow, okay. But Hurricane sees monsters: her failure, the shame to her family, the death of her tribe. Her mighty spear is useless, because she fights Fimbulwinter, a monster that cannot be slain, because it has no heart. Her soul is painted everywhere across the sky, because she can't escape herself."
Rainbow Dash hugged herself. "I've felt that way, sometimes. Like everyone can see who I am, except me."
Twilight looked at her friend. "You've thought a lot about her, since you played the role," she whispered.
Rainbow Dash nodded. "Originally, I just wanted to write this little story about Hurricane and Pansy. About their relationship at this moment. They are separated by rank, class and caste," Rainbow Dash said softly, spreading her forehooves. "Yet they have eaten together, berthed together, fought and bled together. Strangers, yet closer than sisters. Hurricane, driven by duty and fear, is plunging into the depths of her soul and probably to her doom.
"And Pansy follows her. Quiet, mysterious Private Pansy. Pansy followed her, into the storm. Hurricane leads, not knowing where to go. And Pansy follows, knowing only that her place is beside Hurricane."
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I dunno, maybe that sounds stupid. But that seems very romantic to me. I guess I stink as a writer, so I went back to a re-telling of Hearth's Warming Eve. That's close enough, for me."
Twilight Sparkle was thoughtful for awhile. "I would like to read that story, Rainbow," she said.
Rainbow shrugged. "Maybe later. I've got work to do now. Look!"
Commander Hurricane was charging about the stage, stabbing, thrusting and slicing frantically with her spear at the cloud shapes. Private Pansy struggled to stay near Hurricane's side and poke at anything that looked threatening. But her most frightened looks were directed towards her commander.
The cloud monsters danced and mocked. The windigos roared. And still the strange cloud shapes came on, even larger and more twisted than before.
At last, Commander Hurricane could tolerate no more.
"Enough!" she shouted, tearing off her tall helm, glaring at the uncaring storm, tears streaming down her face. "Come at me! Kill me, if you will! But spare my people!"
The clouds parted and from the heavens a shaft of light shone upon Commander Hurricane and burned upon her brow. She hovered worn and gaunt amidst the clouds. Her eyes were amber; her mane, gold; her coat, the gray of thunderclouds. She held aloft the Spear of Bellerophon and screamed:
"My blood for my tribe! My heart for my family! My spirit for their safety! What ransom can I pay, that will let my people live?! I will give you all that I am: flesh, bone and honor! I, Hurricane of the House of Bellerophon, pledge this, if only you will spare my folk!
"I beg you! I... I beg you. Please!"
But the cloud monsters just laughed and danced about her while the windigos bellowed.
The clouds shifted. The light dimmed. Commander Hurricane grimly set her jaw and put on her heavy helm. She motioned to Private Pansy with the spear of her illustrious grand-sire. And the two of them flew on, into the endless, merciless winter.
***
The stage went dark.
After a heartbeat, everypony in Ponyville Town Hall began to stamp. Not raucously, not loudly, but slowly and with quiet dignity. They applauded Derpy and Scootaloo. But also they honored the memory of the doomed Commander Hurricane and her faithful Private Pansy, both of whom now lived again in their hearts.
Twilight was breathless. "I still can't believe that's Derpy! I thought she was joking when she told me that you had cast her for the part of Commander Hurricane. But I was so wrong! She's amazing!"
"I knew that Derpy was perfect for this role as soon as I heard her first reading," whispered Rainbow Dash. "Do you know why? Because Derpy is not afraid to make a fool of herself in public. She will take risks, put everything she has inside of her on stage and dare anyone to laugh.
"Derpy is braver than I am," admitted Rainbow Dash. "She's not afraid to lose."
***
"Derpy? Hi!" said Twilight Sparkle, approaching the little pegasus backstage as she rested.
"Miss Sparkle! Hi!" said Derpy. For a moment, she was her usual self, smiling cheerfully, amber eyes bright. Then Derpy faded and shrank back into herself. She nibbled at a crust of bread and sipped some water.
She's lost so much weight! thought Twilight. Derpy had always been delicate, but now she looked so frail.
"I was very, very moved by your performance, Derpy," said Twilight hesitantly.
"Thanks, Miss Sparkle! I did my best! For you and for Ponyville!" said Derpy. And, again, the embers in her eyes flared up feverishly then faded away.
Scootaloo galloped up. "Miss Hooves! I found some apple juice for you! You should drink this! Apple Bloom brought this down tonight just for you, fresh from the farm! She added a few things Miss Zecora gave her to make you strong! Please! Just drink a little!" Scootaloo danced around Derpy with a worried look. She glanced up at Twilight. "Make her drink this, Your... Twilight! Please!" Scootaloo looked desperate.
Derpy gently pushed the cup away and cradled Scootaloo's face between her hooves. She smiled. "You have been such a good friend! In my worst moments, you have made me laugh! When I fall, I beg you, take my spear! For one sunrise only, hold it high, in memory of me. Then cast it aside and forget. Forget me, because I have killed everything I have ever loved."
Scootaloo looked confused and scared.
"Commander Hurricane! Attention to orders!" said Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Derpy, tired, sad and drawn, pulled herself to attention.
Twilight Sparkle looked down on Derpy sternly. "As your Princess, I command you! Drink!"
Without a second thought, the good soldier drank Zecora's potion.
After a moment, Derpy smiled. "Wow! That was good!"
Finally, the lights in Derpy's eyes came on and stayed on. Scootaloo rushed forward to hug her.
"Ha ha ha! Hay, Scoots," laughed Derpy, hugging her back. "We did okay, didn't we? You were great!"
"Miss Hooves..." Scootaloo began.
"Derpy," corrected Derpy Hooves.
"Derpy, you were awesome!" exclaimed Scootaloo.
"Ha ha! Thanks, Scoots! Hay! Why don't you get yourself a fritter and some cider? Right over there, go on!"
Scootaloo cast a backward glance at Derpy, smiled, then trotted towards the concession table.
"She is such a good girl," sighed Derpy, looking after her.
Twilight Sparkle approached Derpy Hooves. "How did you do it?" she asked. "How did you immerse yourself so much into the character of Commander Hurricane?"
"It was easy, Miss Sparkle," said Derpy. "I just imagined those mean ol' windigos trying to hurt my family and I got angry. Really, really angry. Angry enough to just throw myself at them and do, well, bad things. So I guess I understand Commander Hurricane a little bit.
"Still, I'm happy that this play will be over soon, 'cause I'm kinda tired of being so angry and upset all of the time. Commander Hurricane must have felt like this through all of her trials. Imagine that!
"Muffin top?" Derpy offered. "I can't eat this. The role, you know."
Minuette is the official name for the pony popularly known by fans as "Colgate." (Hence, my reference to her smile.)
What I wanted to do most with Derpy was defeat expectations.
Don't worry you succeeded in spades....
Yellow alert!
O... kay. That's worrying. I'm not worried that Derpy has got too in-character, I'm worried that maybe, just maybe, some ghosts are hovering around a little too closely at the moment. Maybe somepony wanted the unintentional lies and distortions of the millennia cleared away. Maybe that somepony has 'borrowed' Rainbow. It would explain why Twilight Sparkle for a few moments, a couple of chapters back, was thinking as if she was Princess Platinum. It might explain why Derpy was acting as if she was Commander Hurricane. What if their ghosts were looking for a chance to tell their real story and, perhaps, apologise for their real failures?
Discord, I'm looking at you right now but I'm not convinced this is malicious in intent. As I commented before, he almost certainly knew these principals and what he said to Celestia about the cruelty of petrification when he was freed in "Return of Harmony" suggests that, paradoxically, he has a strong sense of natural justice. Maybe he's decided that he wants these remarkable ponies' real achievements remembered and he maybe wants to break Twilight's worshipful reverence of a pony who she should have realised from the effects of his last spell had been driven mad by his pursuit of knowledge and power.
The gods move in mysterious ways and never forget that Discord is a god. Someone like Discord will always have a long-term agenda; we just don't know what it is yet.
... I keep rereading Hurricane's plea to the monsters.
I keep getting chills.
Damn. That resonates.
On the other hand... Rainbow Dash's dialogue when she talks about the characters. I can imagine Dash thinking those thoughts- I can even imagine her writing them down- but I have trouble picturing her speaking them, in those words. I'm going to see if I can write a version that sounds more like her to me, and you can tell me what you think.
2294418
I agree that what you wrote sounds very much more like Rainbow's usual speech than what I wrote.
But what I was trying to suggest was that, when she forgets to put up a front, Rainbow is more thoughtful and more passionate than she usually lets on. Once she set her mind to the task of writing, she brought to it all of the focus and enthusiasm she uses for racing and stunt flying. And while she might cringe at the thought of being "girly" or an "egghead," there's a lot more to her than "fighter jock."
One of the overarching ideas I wanted to get across in this story is that, yes, Twilight Sparkle has certainly changed since she first came to Ponyville. But her friends have changed as well. Contrast Twilight's initial reactions in the first chapter to Rainbow's play and Derpy's role to how she reacts now.
Twilight Sparkle is on a journey. But she's not leaving her friends behind. They're all coming along with her.
(This was one of the reasons I subtitled the story, "A Princess Promenade." If you've ever seen that G3 movie, you recall its final message: You, yes you, are a Princess, too!)
2294418
The more I read that, I wonder if Rainbow is trying to tell Twilight something but, lacking the eloquence and self-confidence to say it directly is instead trying to infer it in her art.
2294741 I see your point, but... the point of this passage is to get across that Dash has thought a lot about these ponies and the circumstances surrounding them and how they feel about each other, right? If I'm understanding you, that's the change in her since the start of the series that this passage is designed to show- that she does more thinking and is less afraid to admit it. That makes sense to me- it fits with what we see from her in canon in episodes like Read It and Weep, Dragon Quest, Hurricane Fluttershy, and so on.
The change in how she talks, though, is still jarring. It doesn't sound like anything we've heard from her, whether in The Ticket Master or Games Ponies Play- and if the change in her diction and phrasing is supposed to be Dash letting a facade drop, I have to wonder why she does so now if she didn't during Hurricane Fluttershy, or any other moment when she was surrounded by nopony but her closest friends. And I think we've agreed that what I wrote conveys the change in how Dash thinks and what she's willing to reveal without changing how she speaks. They're both her expressing ideas she wouldn't have had (or expressed) at the start of the series but does now. The difference is in her voice- one version changes it and the other doesn't. So I'm trying to understand why you would make that change, in addition to the one you set out to make, despite not having to and not (as far as I can tell) providing any justification in the story. I love your writing and that's not going to change; I'm really just curious as to how you came to that decision.
2296826 Like she sees herself and Twilight in the characters, or something along those lines? Hmm. Personally I got the impression from the original that Rainbow sees a lot of herself in Hurricane- this mare going off on impossible missions because she feels she has to, pursuing her passion to the utmost and reaching a point where it fails her, doing completely nutty things and yet somehow never losing the trust that her closest friends place in her. Awesome but crazy. Crazy but awesome. Giving her all no matter what, and not always thinking about what that means for those around her.
And if Rainbow is Hurricane, then Private Pansy? Hurricane's quiet, mysterious, lifelong friend who's closer than a sister yet distant at the same time, who follows her into everything, never asks why, and watches out for Hurricane when Hurricane doesn't watch out for herself? I think that has to be Fluttershy. (Arguments could be made for some of the other members of the mane six, or even Scootaloo, but I think Fluttershy fits best- she's known Rainbow the longest and is one of the least forthcoming about her own life.)
2298139
To me, it's the other way around - Twilight Sparkle is and always has been the mare with a mission, even when that mission doesn't seem to make sense to anypony, even herself. Her sense of responsibility to Celestia and her friends will get her in a lot of trouble and she will certainly suffer because of her need to take the lead in solving any problem.
Like Pansy, though, Rainbow will be right there with her, following her into the dark, even if it is a nightmare created only by her own insecurities. Why? Is it just Loyalty or is it something more?
2298158 The problem with this idea is that nopony ever follows Twilight as far down the rabbit hole as she sometimes goes. Ever. We've seen that over and over- Lesson Zero, part one of A Canterlot Wedding, even Feeling Pinkie Keen. I could see a case being made for Twilight as Hurricane, but only Spike even comes close to playing Pansy for her. (I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Acting rationally in the face of craziness, even craziness from someone you trust, can be a very good thing to do. I'm just saying it doesn't fit the relationship we're looking at here.)
2298179
Well, you never see anypony follow Twilight "down the rabbit hole" in the series because Twilight and her friends are bound by Roger Rabbit's rule: "only if it's funny." If Applejack faced down Twilight and told her to just calm the buck down, you wouldn't have a story in Lesson Zero. (For that matter, that's why Twilight forgot she can teleport in Feeling Pinkie Keen.)
I softened Rainbow's voice here to show that she was speaking from the heart. The play means a lot to her. I think you may be right: I may have overdone it. But that was my idea.
But don't worry! Rainbow will be doing a lot more squealing and laughing before the story ends.
Regarding Clover's comment about the Realm Undying:
While working on a different story, I had this notion that there are some ponies, magicians like Star Swirl and Princess Celestia, and sages like Dr Hooves and Kimono from the G3 series, who are aware that there have been, and are, other generations of their universe. The Realm Undying, then, is the multiverse of My Little Pony and its shards (like the Fallout: Equestria milieu).
Does anypony have a suggestion for a G1 pony that might be sufficiently knowledgeable, to be aware of the hidden knowledge? Wind Whistler seems like a good candidate, but I haven't seen enough of the G1 episodes to be sure.
2299220 Actually ponies trying to tell Twilight to calm down was most of the story of Lesson Zero? In that context, following her down the rabbit hole would be more like freaking out alongside her. Which I think could be hilarious.
That was, wow. I'm kinda speechless.
I like the Realm Undying idea.
Quite nice. Looks Dash did put some thought into it. But I'm still wary about Star Swirl's bit.
This part in particular was beautiful:
"Hurricane leads, not knowing where to go. And Pansy follows, knowing only that her place is beside Hurricane."
That's some Loyalty right there. I really like it because it seems like Rainbow Dash is relating profoundly to both of the characters. She is a leader, but if the threat she's leading other ponies against isn't physical, she tends to get frustrated and confused. For those situations, she has learned when to just follow and trust in those she loves.
And this was also great in its truth and self awareness:
"Derpy is braver than I am," admitted Rainbow Dash quietly. "She's not afraid to lose."
Very good. I'm glad to be able to just put my paranoia aside and enjoy the story.
There is a big problem I keep seeing, though. Two, technically. Dialogue tags and new paragraphs.
First, "said" is a perfectly good tag to use. Only use weird dialogue tags when they're the only words that work (like to indicate volume). Second, it's my opinion that interrupting dialogue to make a new paragraph should be done very rarely. If at all. It distracts, forces you to insert a new dialogue tag, and just generally makes things look weird. Do it all in one paragraph, or at least insert an action that justifies the split.
This isn't a very elegant "review", sorry. I hope it's of use.
2326867
I appreciate your input. I'll try to keep this in mind, going forward. I admit, I tend to avoid "said" as a dialog marker. (And this will get worse as I enter the final bits, I'm afraid, when I'm channeling Rainbow Dash for the climax.)
Regarding the whole bit of business with Rarity and Granny Smith, this was just an emotional thing for me: Rarity tossing her cloak over Granny Smith. That moment seemed to express Rarity perfectly. It just fit in: a reminder that all of our friends (not just Twilight, not just Rainbow), have become strong.
It doesn't further the plot, it doesn't lead anywhere. But, somehow, I feel that it's important. It tingles my Pinkie sense.
2327784 On the latter matter, fair enough. It's your story, and your artistic choice. Honestly, I think I just had trouble getting into it because of all the weird paragraph breaks. The scene itself was touching.
Oh, and "said" is a pretty darn near invisible tag. People won't generally notice if it's 'overused', so I highly recommend it.
2299393 Whoa. Hang on. I need to think about this. So... "a novice, terrified of her first glimpse of the Realm Undying"... that'd be like a young Time Lord who was taken to see the Untempered Schism and ran away?
Thinking a little deeper, though... what I usually do is work with G1 (and pretty much only G1, since G2 has next to no fantasy elements and G3 doesn't fit together with itself, let alone anything else) as part of the ancient history of what would eventually become Equestria, with some minor changes to smooth out inconsistencies- Celestia, Luna, and perhaps Cadance substituted for Megan, Molly and Danny, for instance, to explain why the random individual Firefly brings back from her trip over the rainbow is the one to whom all the ponies subsequently swear fealty. I like continuity and my first story was one that required a lot of different weird monsters, so I figured the more of them I could draw from something that was technically MLP canon, the better.
Plus I enjoyed what the Pony POV series did with winding the two together, such as Ponyville's Lickety Split being descended from G1 Lickety Split and his family having a tradition of maintaining the ancient history regardless of how few ponies care about it in these more peaceful times, and the Elements of Harmony being the result of Discord smashing the Rainbow of Light into six pieces in an attempt to defend himself. Then again, I do remember that series eventually describing the changeover from one generation to another (G3 to G4, I think), and how it took place in-universe, similar to Crisis on Infinite Earths or Flashpoint, with the universe being taken apart and rebuilt and only certain individuals surviving with their memories of the previous version intact. If memory serves, the cosmic beings in charge of the restructuring wanted Kimono to be one of the ones who continued into the new world, but she turned them down because she didn't want to live in a world built by the creatures who'd wiped out so many of her friends by that point.
If these are all separate universes, though... well, for one thing, I'd say the chances of any canon G2 character knowing about it are tiny at best, just due to the overall non-fantastic nature of that continuum. For another, G4 Pinkie Pie is pretty much the expert on extrauniversal matters in general- after all, she knows about us, which probably implies knowledge of the rest of MLP and even more. (Of course, academics rarely find themselves in a position so desperate as to consult with her...) G1, though... I don't suppose Firefly would count, considering how she was the one to cross into the human world in the first place? She's probably more of a multiversal savant- capable of doing these ridiculous things without really knowing how she does them or necessarily what she's doing. Still, she'd know a few things about other worlds simply by virtue of having visited...
2294418
You may have noticed that I revised Rainbow's dialog quite a bit, along the lines you suggested. I suddenly asked myself, what?, is Twilight lecturing Rainbow Dash about clouds? Um, duh, indeed! I think she appears more authentic this way, while still retaining the point I wanted to make: Rainbow is emotionally invested in this story. This is why she wrote and directed this play. Just to get a little of her artistic vision out there in front of everypony. Not that Rainbow would ever admit to having an "artistic vision."
2294741 so...youre saying that all those times rainbow has ridiculed twilight's eggheadedness it was a front, and deep down she really does know how to interpret, appreciate, understand, and connect to literature, and that her true feelings on hurricanne's story were merely her forgetting to put up that front? okey dokie. but while she might forget to put up her front for a little while--say, long enough to express these feelings in words or something to twilight-- i dont get why she would "forget" to put up that front in front of the audience. she is expressing her depth through her writing. she is showing that inner side of herself to the world through this play. but if she puts up a front to the world what made her decide to suddenly shed that front and write plays? was that whole process her "forgetting" to put up her front? kind of hard to "forget" that what you write will be an expression of what you feel, especiallly while you write it. i think that writing this play would have been the hardest thing rainbows ever done, it would mean shedding her shield. and id kind of like to see THAT story before you show us THIS one, yeah?
Derpy the method actor, huh? Who knew? In all seriously, this is an awesome story. The insight into Commander Hurricane's character is quite impressive, and I really like how you used the process of putting on the play as a way to highlight each of the ponies and their characters while simultaneously allowing Twilight the opportunity for personal growth. Well done!
By the way, Truffle Shuffle convincing Diamond Tiara to gamble? Truffle as a fledgling gambler is quite a clever imagining based on the name. I have no doubt that in a few years he will be bankrupting a casino or two in Las Pegasus! Love it!
I forgot it was slice-of-life as well as comedy and then Derpy's Commander Hurricane plea came up, and I really felt it and then that she would go to such extremes to honour Hurricane, and keep her promise
Also Rainbow's little bit on the clouds representing "inner demons" sort of thing was nice
2336808
If you're talking MLP Tales (not really G2, just late G1), if any pony from that show would know, it would probably be Patch. Crazy stuff's always happening to her, whether it be ghosts haunting her or sparkly pegasi and an alicorn saving her life.
2299515 I agree, that WOULD be hilarious!
You know, with the size of this site, SOMEONE has to have written something like that; and I'd say there's even a 10% chance that it's actually well-written. But if it doesn't exist yet, IT NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN.