Celestia stood to attention.
Twilight looked at her checklist.
Celestia stood to attention once more.
Twilight took a breath, opened her mouth.... and looked at her checklist.
Celestia, surprisingly, stood to attention.
Twilight tapped her checklist.
Applejack facehoofed. "How long have they been going at this?"
"Thirty seven minutes and fifty three point seven six five two seconds," Pinkie replied, lounging against one of the chariots.
"Honestly, this is getting ridiculous," Rarity grumbled. "We're here... wherever here is supposed to be. Why doesn't she just order a different guard to look for... whatever it is we're supposed to be looking for?"
"Ah think it's cause Celestia's tha top ranked pony in the military."
"Well, technically speaking she isn't the top ranked pony anymore," Pinkie pointed out. "Even during Luna's banishment she was always just the Marshal Commander Interim and that was only on the paperwork, she was never activated by the parliament which left most of the Generals to operate the military on their own initiative, and since most Generals are from the Noble houses there wasn't really any effort to keep them active beyond what was needed to keep the country together, but now that Luna's resumed her role as Marshal Commander she's been using her influence to get the army back on its hooves, which is kinda difficult when most of the Generals are embroiled in the Noble family politics but after the invasion I'm almost certain that they'll see how hard Luna is working to get them back up to snuff and anyway since Celestia gave up her position she just falls down to her old rank of Major."
Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Lyra, the changeling claiming to be Bonbon, and the changeling that the changeling claiming to be Bonbon claimed to be Rainbow Dash all stared at Pinkie Pie.
"I listen to ponies," she explained defensively. "Really! That's all! I do not have a plan for throwing the entire military a party."
The ponies visibly relaxed.
"No seriously," Pinkie continued, "I don't actually have a plan. I can throw individual soldiers a party and maybe entire companies but if the whole army is mobilized then how am I supposed to help keep up morale if I can't throw a 'hooray we held the enemy back!' party or a 'good job capturing the strategic location' party on demand?! It's not just the size of the group but the fact that they're always moving and it could be dangerous to put emergency cakes in potential battlefields and, and... Parties don't scale very well, is what I'm saying."
Fluttershy rose an eyebrow. "You've been considering this very seriously, haven't you?"
"We were just invaded," Pinkie pointed out. "I'm against war, but.... if the parliament votes that way, I want to be able to support our soldiers in the field."
The other ponies all paused. Slowly, Applejack put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. They looked at each other, a slow, sad smile growing on their faces.
"It'll be all right, Pinkie. Trust me."
"RIGHT!" Twilight suddenly shouted, her expression held somewhere between stern and unbelieving. "Major! The... thing should be buried somewhere over there. You'll know it when you see it. Secure it and do not ask questions and do not let the civilians see it and oh sweet Celestia I'm ordering Celestia around Princess I'm so so so sorry I--"
"Captain Ironmane, you and your men are to guard the prisoners and civilians," the alicorn snapped. "Captain Vorpal Blade, Captain Honorbound, your men are to join me on the digging crew." With a quick wing salute toward Twilight, she walked toward the indicated marker.
"It's not too deep!" the changeling claiming to be Bonbon shouted. "Just... be careful with it!" She turned to Twilight. "You didn't tell her what it was?"
"I..." Twilight shivered, taking a breath. "She can take it, and... discussing it here would be a security risk--:
Bonbon sighed. "That's got to be one of the weakest rationalizations I have ever heard."
"Wait, what is it ya'll are talking about?" Applejack looked from pony to changeling. "What's this thing we're looking for anyhow?"
"Trust me AJ, you don't want to know." The purple unicorn managed to nervously check off a box. "I'm... disturbed just thinking about it."
Bonbon cringed. "Um. I... would be happy if you just took my word, but... I know that you're logical and that... means you'd need confirmation... and, uh..."
"What, are you going to cast a spell on her?" The other changeling finally spoke up. "That's what your plan is, isn't it? Some freaky mind control spell that you pretend is actually confirmation of--"
"No." Bonbon crossed her heart, flicked her wings, and stuck a hoof over her eye. "I Pinkie Pie swear I will not cast any mental magic on Twilight or arrange for mental magic to be cast on Twilight without her explicit permission. I'm just worried about how she plans to go about... confirming."
Twilight Sparkle winced. "It's... not something I want to do. And I really don't want to hurt her..."
Fluttershy sucked in her breath. "Hurt? Oh no, Twilight, who's going to be hurt?"
The unicorn began stroking her tail, her eyes downcast. She didn't answer.
Lyra coughed. "Sooooooo. Hey! While we're all here, let's discuss ancient history. And by that I mean humans--"
Rarity groaned. "Not this again."
"Come on, I paid for everything I asked for!"
"Do you have ANY idea what those commissions put me through?"
"I have to admit they look good on her," Bonbon said brightly. "I don't know how you pulled it off, but you've got more skill at making ponies look different then an entire swarm! That's saying something." She coughed. "You know... because we're changelings and... we... disguise ourselves--"
There was a sudden flurry of activity over the digging site. Muttered exclamations caught the attention of everypony. After a moment, Celestia approached.
"The... item... has been secured." She saluted. "...orders?"
Twilight took a very deep breath.
"...Fluttershy. I need you to come with me."
The pegasus blinked. "Um... Twilight?"
"Please. Just... don't hate me for this..."
It took a moment for her to process the odd statement. Then her wings snapped shut, and she glanced around nervously. "I... um..."
Her eyes met Rarity's; concern.
Her eyes met Applejack's; support.
Her eyes met Pinkie Pie's; confusion.
Her eyes met Rainbow... possibly Rainbow's. "No, Twilight, whatever it is it's a trick! Don't bring Fluttershy into it!"
Her eyes met Bonbon's... sorrow, and apology.
Finally, she met Twilight's gaze.
Fear.
"...alright."
"For what it's worth," Bonbon said quietly, "I am sorry."
Fluttershy gave her a nod, took a breath, and looked to Twilight. Together they trotted off toward the soldiers.
Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie tilted their ears forward, desperate to get even a hint of what was going on. Bonbon was breathing deeply, her head drooping; Lyra had a single hoof rubbing at the base of her wings, looking at her pain and helpless to stop it. The other changeling was flicking her head between the dig site and the presumed candymaker, torn between wanting to leap out and protect her friend from whatever was happening... or stopping the evil shapeshifter from ever hurting another again. The guards noticed, giving a magical tug to her chains. She didn't protest.
There was a short yelp. Twilight's voice said something, too quiet for any of them to hear. Fluttershy nodded, murmuring a weak reply.
Then she started quietly sobbing.
Pinkie and Rarity and Applejack started forward--only to be blocked by a gold shod hoof. Celestia shook her head slightly. Twilight was hugging Fluttershy, rocking her gently back and forth.
"What happened?" One changeling glared at the other, struggling against her chains. "What did you do to her?!"
Bonbon sighed. "I told Twilight the truth and.... she showed Fluttershy."
"What? What's that supposed to mean?!"
The guards were returning, carrying something that nopony else could see. They loaded it into a large covered box in one of the chariots. Fluttershy managed to compose herself and took a few deep breaths. She walked back to her friends... and past them, stepping up to Bonbon.
Lyra moved between them quickly. "Look, I know you're upset but if you do anything to her I--"
"How did it happen?" the pegasus asked quietly.
With a deep breath, the candymaker gently pushed her lover aside and looked into Fluttershy's eyes. "A crash. High speeds--"
"No. The last moments."
She nodded. "...I told her what I was... and asked if she'd let me transfer her memories into, uh, a pupa... she said yes... then I became her mother and sang her to sleep..."
The pegasus nodded. "So she knew. Okay. That... that's okay."
"...you were the first thing she asked about. She wanted to know if you were... okay..." Bonbon shrugged. "I was, um, the one that scared the cloud of butterflies..."
"Oh..."
"Fluttershy she's not saying that," the other changeling said desperately. "Tell me she's not saying what I think she's saying."
Applejack's jaw dropped. She pointed at the large box, turning her shocked face to Twilight for confirmation. Rarity's hooves went to her mouth in horror as she stared at the changeling, Pinkie's eyes snapped wide as she whirled to focus on the mysterious package. Twilight nodded, slowly.
"She was very brave, for a filly," Bonbon continued quietly. "Didn't even worry about herself right up until the end."
The pegasus chuckled wryly. "Her all over..."
"Fluttershy." The other changeling leaned forward. "Please. It can't be true."
Celestia lowered her gaze.
"...there will need to be a funeral," the pegasus whispered. "A proper one, and.... and you both should attend." Her gaze moved from Bonbon to the other changeling. "Because...."
"Don't... please don't say it, Shy."
"....because you both... she was an influence on you both." Fluttershy giggled. "Hee, you... could say she really shaped your lives, hee hee...."
The laughs broke forth and then she was sobbing again and her friends rushed to her side hugging her tightly and they murmured reassurances and the changeling wanted to jump out too she knew the chains were loose enough but she could not stop staring at the box she could not stop staring at the box she could not stop staring it was so still it had to be a trick it had to be and Fluttershy was breaking down and she wanted to hold her tight but she could not move could not breathe and the world began to tilt and grow grey and she heard Lyra shout and she wanted to help but she could not move--
Stop with the cliffhangers thou art killing me
I approve! Write more!!!
If that's ok with you...
So now they all know for sure.
Ouch, that...
the mix of utmost comedy and excruciating sorrow is a very interesting blend...
Whoa. That...that's a confirmation of the story.
So, Rainbowling is the Element of Loyalty, but is she Rainbow Dash?
Laugh
so hard you
cry.
Cry
so hard you
laugh.
So they finally know.
And it seems this is still only the start of the story.
Sadly, yes. 'Cept it was waffles, not pancakes...
HGDFJDHSJDKXNWBX ALICE REFERENCE
I LOVE YOU
And the bacon... The bacon burns too... And grease burn smell is HORRIBLE...
3295877 It's not quite that. When people are uncomfortable, they laugh. It's the first human reaction to when you're embarrassed or nervous, is to laugh. Fluttershy, wanting to stay strong, and so yet so conflicted, falls to the first human reaction, which is to try to laugh the problem off. If you can laugh, it doesn't seem as real, like it's a joke. A bad joke. But then you realise that laughing WON'T make the problem go away, and then you're more embarrassed/nervous, and you keep laughing, but your sorrow starts to become overwhelming, and it turns to sobbing, but a tiny part of you still tries to laugh until you just give up, and cry your heart out.
Simple Psychology, really.
Ah, the truth. Every changeling's worst enemy. And now we have a timeline. I can't even guess how this will affect Dashling's existential crisis. I look forward to finding out.
3295889
In my headcanon, he's Snips's uncle. He has a son of his own, Snicker Snack.
3295879
You can only answer that after you answer definitively "What makes a person?"
3295934
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
Hue
I hate burnt pancakes.
Pro: Great chapter! So, Dash finally discovered the truth behind her situation. I feel sorry for the poor dear.
Con: Grammar is seriously iffy in this chapter, I'm sorry to say. You definitely want to do some cleaning with this chapter...
Honestly, for the information you were revealing in this chapter, way too heavy on Pinkie. The attempts at comedy were highly misplaced, which only deadened the impact of what was going to happen. It was obvious from the start that they were diggign up the original Dash's body, or what's left of it, and the poor attempts at humor to mask the eventual reveal and the gamut of emotions that were inevitably hindered more than hurt. I understand what you were trying to do with the humor, but it didn't work well enough.
This chapter was hard to read.
3295918
Oh, you misunderstood. I get Shy's reaction perfectly.
I meant the chapter in general. Half of it is basically one gag after another and then they uncover the... thing... it's... I think spacecowboy pretty much nailed it. Too much comedy for the chapter that was supposed to be sorrowful.
Also...
This doesn't work with your perspective you've been using. With a 1st person POV, yes, this could be fine. An attempt to show that through it all, Dash is attempting to ignore what's right in front of her face. However, with the 3rd person perspective you've been using, this is a blah moment, and comes off as sloppy writing. There's numerous other ways that you could've shown her complete inability to want to face the truth of the matter, but this wasn't one.
I'm being a bit harsh, but this was supposed to be a very large and impactful chapter. One mistake and you can lose a lot of the emotional punch you're attempting to garnish, which is what happened here.
3295879 Well, yes and no. As a pupa she absorbed the fundamental essence of Rainbow Dash and has lived her entire life as Rainbow Dash. On the other hand, she's not the original Rainbow Dash. Merely a changeling who unknowingly took over living her life after the original died.
I can see the outcome of this situation going two ways, either she tries to honor the originals last request and and continues living Rainbow Dash's life or she chooses a new name out of respect for the fallen filly.
#BadPlays Bronze V
3296034 My thoughts as well.
3296023
Sorry, what attempts at comedy?
For some reason I didn't understood 70% of what is happening in this chapter.
3296123
The first... 1/3 or 1/4 of the chapter is basically Pinkie being Pinkie. Given then nature of what this chapter was supposed to be, you killed a lot of the potential emotional impact by using that device. She has her time and place, however you heavily misused her here. It may not be outright 'comedy,' but it hurts you regardless.
That, and a few other choices you made negated a lot of the potential impact of uncovering the former Dash's body. After I read it, I was basically going 'oh, okay. That's nifty.' There wasn't any emotional pull or wrenching that one should associate with such a massive reveal like this was supposed to be.
And so the truth comes to light.
This despair cannot simply be dried.
This is a terrible time when their friendship must not crumble—lest all darkness will devour this Realm.
Awaiting further releases.
3296034 i heartily disagree, in my honest opinion that part work rather well and i, for one, received quite a bit of an "emotional punch" from this chapter.
i also disagree with your earlier comment, the two Pinkie Pie monologues work well with her character and the situation. the comedy in the beginning helped keep the mood light, which is what people would try to do in that situation and Fluttershy's "joke" at the end heightened the emotional impact in a sad/tragic way.
3296045
Third option. Not knowing what to do, she winds up consulting Zecora, who enacts a séance so that she can communicate with the soul of the departed filly, and let her advise her on what to do.
Oh, good lord, how I've waited for this!
Keep it up, Weaver.
*Although*
I feel that Celestia could have done lightly more than stand at attention. Like, she could've performed some drills (Right face, left face, right face, about face, forward march, parade rest, et cetera) or something.
But that's just me.
Either way, keep it UP!
-Inspiration
3295935
Well, here's a question. Other than 'being a changeling', is there anything left of who the pupa was before becoming Rainbow? If not, and everything within her is everything Rainbow was, then I'd say she is Rainbow, to a certain extent.
good sadporn this chapter yes
3295889
What do you mean, Alice? The vorpal sword is from Jabberwocky.
It's high time Changeling-Dash gets some emotional support to help her through the identity crisis. I hope the other four mane6 don't forget it's her they first met and befriended, and not dead-Dash.
My opinion is that she is Rainbow Dash. Individuals identify themselves by their memories. This is similar to the philosophical problem of destructive teleporters.
3296319
Where do you think Jabberwocky is from?
MOAR!
3296319 In the video game Alice: Madness Returns, the first weapon Alice gets is a vorpal blade. I just played it with my friend, so my mind just jumped to it
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/113/b/0/alice__madness_returns_by_dajedra-d3ent89.png
3296497
...you need to read the books.
"Hee, you... could say she really shaped your lives, hee hee...."
3296034 "garnish"? Do you mean "garner"? Even then I don't think it works, exactly, since the phrase calls for a word more like to give (instead of receive).
3296454
...right, "Jabberwocky" was from Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There. I remembered it as a standalone piece and forgot the context. Silly me.
Weaver I think you broke Fluttershy.
3296139 I think it's fine because the characters don't realize what the situation is, which becomes clear later. Although to be honest Twilight didn't really handle that very well IMO, since it should have been obvious it would be a very difficult secret to keep from Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and especially Rainbow Dash, and they spilled the beans fairly quickly. Anyway, since Twilight DID handle it in the way she did, it's fine that the mood of the ponies not in the know starts out lighthearted and transitions to somber as they pick up on the gravity of their errand.
In fact, Twilight, as the pony in the know, clearly feels that dissonance and is the one to start bringing the mood down:
"RIGHT!" Twilight suddenly shouted, her expression held somewhere between stern and unbelieving.
3296294
Um, the pupa wasn't anyone before... that was the point of using a pupa. It had no memory, personality, or individuality to begin with.
3296617
Then if the entirety of Rainbow was overwritten onto a blank slate, then it seems to me that the changeling is Rainbow.
3296621
Then you have the issue of the entirety of Rainbow. Was it the entirety or only a portion? Rainbow doesn't seem to remember dying after all...
3296294 I had the same thought. I'm really hoping that's the direction things go; a nice spot of happiness in the midst of all this sadness and untrust.
Or, it could keep doing what it's doing. I'll be happy either way.
3296648
It's logical that the transferred memories end at the point the Rainboom formed. Rainbow remembers everything leading up the race and the Rainboom forming, but doesn't remember crashing.
In that case, she's everything of Rainbow except her death.
Pankakes?
3296703
Just my two cents:
In my opinion, it's important to acknowledge that Rainbow Dash died from that crash. To do otherwise is disrespectful to that filly.
Is the changling Rainbow? She is the only RD that anyone but Fluttershy has ever known, so she certainly deserves the name. But she is not that filly. She may be who that filly would probably have grown into, but she is her own person.