It's June 6th 1944 and the Allies are landing in Normanedy, and the fight on Omaha Beach is going badly. Can the squad lead by Bullet Speed make the difference in this decisive battle?
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Chapters (4)
jt45fan
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Yes I know how sort it is. It is just a prologue, the actual chapters will be longer.
uh i believe its Normandy not Normanedy
237762.....Do you not get the pun?NorMANEdy?
237880 ah alright that makes more sense
Pretty good so far!
Faved, thumbed, and tracking
Fun. How would an earth pony use a rifle without fingers?
239393
My thoughts precisely. It's a little hard to use an M1 Garand with hooves.
This leads me to my general critique for this story. Mechanically, it's fine, but the concept is lacking. It's just D-Day with ponies, and nothing else is different. All the ponies are using weapons designed for humans. The pegasi are just sitting in landing craft and getting shot with everyone else as the ramp lowers, when they could and should be taking advantage of their wings – flying troops would be an excellent distraction and allow the ground pounders to land with fewer casualties. The unicorns aren't using magic like they could be either. One thing they might be able to do is telekinetically wield steel shields as portable cover.
In short, you do not take into account how WWII with ponies would be different from WWII with humans. You could explore fascinating and creative implications of this change, but instead this story is pretty average as it currently stands.
I will neither rate up or down, as there is still room for improvement.
250569
Thank you for mentioning what I can do to improve. The two other fanfics I'm working on don't have magic or ponies, them being Pokemon. As for the pegasi flying, my reasoning is this, its easier to hit a target that is fully exposed then one behind cover. No competent commander would tell them to break cover to fly as a distraction, and Bullet Speed is, in fact, a competent commander. I do plan to use it later in the story, but not now. From the perspective of Bullet Speed, it would be to great a risk.
254625
It is also very difficult to shoot a flying target. Now, I know a pegasus isn't exactly an airplane, but the speed and maneuverability is nonetheless impressive. Picture a man-sized target that is swerving, diving, and looping around through the air at maybe 60+ miles per hour. Now imagine trying to hit that with a bolt action rifle. It's not easy. A machine gun would obviously have better chances of hitting a flying pegasus and no doubt a number of them will go down, but that's wasting time, attention, and ammo on an annoying fly, rather than the swarms of ants crowding onto the beaches. Better to force a Germane machine gunner to concentrate on taking out a single dodging pegasus than to let him focus on mowing down the ponies tightly packed in a landing craft. Yes, it sounds callous, but sometimes you have to throw one guy deliberately into harm's way to allow the other nine to get where they need to be safely.
Now, for a more specific nitpick:
Moments later an artillery shell plunged from the heavens into the landing craft. There we several barrels of fuel that were going to be used to power the tanks once they made it ashore later. The fuel tanks exploded instantly, demolishing the landing craft and the few tank traps next to it, leaving only twisted metal.
The first wave of landing craft is supposed to dump as many troops as possible onto the beach to establish a beachhead. It frankly makes no sense to waste valuable space on barrels of fuel instead of more troops. Furthermore, nobody in their right mind would land tanks on the shore without a full tank of gas! I'd recommend just omitting mention of these flammable barrels – that landing craft is screwed by that artillery shell anyway.
254728
I have but one question. Have you ever fired or even handled a Kar98, the standard German infantryman's rifle in WWI and WWII. It is accurate up to 700 to 800 yards and with a lead you can hit a target that distance away traveling at that speed. Plus as you mentioned the MG42s in combination with the rifle fire, the pegasus in the air would last no longer then 15 seconds. Also as an after thought, did you take into fact that wouldn't they have AA Guns and special training to hit them. You are falling in to the same trap as did writing it, not thinking about the differences.
254836
Yes, I have fired a K98. We have one in the family. I have also shot a 1903 Springfield, an M1 Garand, the 1911 and 1931 variants of that crazy Swiss straight-pull Schmidt-Rubin, and various other rifles and pistols that I am too lazy to mention. I've been shooting since I was six, and from clay pigeon shooting I am aware of the challenges of hitting a flying target, but I have it easy since I have a shotgun, and my target is fairly close and isn't dodging. I am also perfectly well aware that the Mauser is an incredibly accurate rifle, but that is only half of the equation. A rifle is only as accurate as the person (or in this case pony) firing it. Most soldiers are not crack marksmen. Even in the wide, open expanses of the Eastern Front, the Germans noted that most engagements occurred within 300m and that most soldiers couldn't shoot accurately beyond that distance anyway – this is why they developed the StG 44. So if it was challenging to hit a target running around in two dimensions at 300m, then hitting a target flying many times faster and in three dimensions just got a whole lot trickier. A top sniper could possibly plug a flying pegasus taking evasive maneuvers, but that kind of shooting is beyond the capabilities of the average grunt with a bolt-action.
Machine guns and flak would obviously have an easier time simply on the account of putting more rounds into the air. That is duly noted. Note however, that flak shells large enough for proximity fuzes would still have to pass quite close to a pegasus to detonate, owing to the pegasus' small radar cross-section compared to a metal-skinned prop plane. So it would still mostly be a matter of directly hitting a small, fast, and agile target.
But all of this assumes that the gunners can see what they are trying to shoot at in the first place. All pegasi canonically can manipulate clouds, and it would be a simple matter for Allied pegasi to push a big dark cloud ahead of them to offer concealment. In this situation, the defenders can only shoot into the cloud blindly. Alternatively, they could send their own pegasi up to disperse the cloud, and now you have the interesting situation of pegasi-on-pegasi combat, in which neither sides' ground forces would be eager to shoot into for fear of hitting their own troops.
We may disagree on how vulnerable a flying pegasus is to ground fire. That's fine. We can agree to disagree. But just keep in mind that the practical accuracy of any firearm used by the average soldier in the stress of combat is far less than its theoretical accuracy. Plus, what is essentially squad-level close air support offers a plethora of tactical possibilities, and it would be a waste to not use such potent assets in some manner.
255536
Now your comment carries more weight due to the fact that you have actually used the Kar98. I'm just used to people talking about guns and having their only shooting experience be COD.
And so the Judgement begins...
Before I cause alarm, I'm here to say how emersive this story felt. An element not many seem to remember anymore, despite how crucial it is to any art form. I was quite impressed with your wording- and honestly, your claims are justified by this fic. Granted, a couple typos here and there, but thats only natural. You've shown an extensive knowledge of the time period and its weapons, and hell, I even learned something! All in all, a good read, for I definately enjoyed WW2 and its inspirations. I may even be inclined to co-write with you on something....
Good show! I'm off to create a Nazi version of Fang now!