Rarity sighed. She did so enjoy the weaving and making of her beautiful, bejeweled dresses, and the fact that the great and the good would make the train journey all the way from Canterlot to Ponyville and then pay the high prices to buy a genuine Rarity Orginal. Even Princess Celestia herself who normally wore only her sacred royal regalia had made a point of publicly dropping in from her sky chariot to buy a couple of Rarity Orginals, something that made sales go up a great deal as all the noble mares then wanted to buy a dress. All the same, it was such...hard...work. So hard that a piece of her fur had dropped off just an hour ago, revealing blackness underneath, something that Rarity felt embarassed about and covered up with her tail whenever anypony came into her shop to order a new dress. It was then that the royal sky-chariot, pulled as normal by two armoured royal guards, came and landed in front of the Carousel Boutique. Rarity came out and one of them said to her "Princess Celestia herself ordered us to go and fetch you and bring you to Canterlot, as there is an urgent need for her to speak to you."
"To me? Oh, I'm honoured."
I wonder why she wants to speak to me, and only me? Perhaps she has several sky chariots and has sent one to each of my close friends? Or perhaps she has some secret that only I am supposed to know? But then, what could that possibly be?
She stepped aboard the royal chariot that flew high into the sky and turned in a slow loop, and with some difficulty she slipped her seatbelt on.
She thought Oh, I hate flying. A fall from this height would surely kill me unless I was lucky enough to land in a lake. Still, those pilots know their dutiesand are trained for this sort of thing, and even if by some chance one of them had a heart attack in mid air, the other could still land this chariot safely.
The pegusai started flying due east and speeded up their flying.
Now I happen to be a pony with a good sense of direction, and Canterlot is to the north of Ponyville, which means that we are flying the wrong way.
"I'm sorry to be a back seat flyer, but we appear to be flying the wrong way, towards the Badlands, where Changeling Hives are known to be located. I'd really rather we didn't end up there, it's dangerous."
There was no reply from either of the pilots, who just speeded up their flying.
"Now you're creeping me out. I demand that you either change course back towards Canterlot or land this chariot so that I can make my own way there by train. Princess Celestia will be angry if I am late because you delayed my arrival."
Rarity stamped her hoof in anger and with bursts of green flame, the two pegsuai transformed into insectoid changelings. White wings became green ones and white pony skin was revealed as white chitin. Rarity let out a little shocked scream.
I've been kiddnapped! I can't jump out at this height or I'll die when I hit the ground, and I can't lash out at my kiddnappers or I'll crash the chariot with the same result. What are they going to do to me, use me as a hostage? Wrap me up in a cocoon so they can drain me of my love? Send an imposter to take my place?
Ahead of her loomed a mountain and as the chariot headed for the ground, she saw a great crowd of Changelings. An entire Hive-full of Changelings, too many to fight, waiting for her arrival. As the chariot landed the Changlings formed two long lines with an aged Queen Changeling at the end of them who came walking up to Rarity.
This Changeling was old. Her hole-filled limbs shook with the effort of keeping her up. her mane and wings were grey with age, and her once gleaming white carapace had turned a dull gray and lost it's glossyness. Clearly, Changeling Queens might live for a long time, but they were not immortal like alicorns were.
Unless this is some kind of trick, but why would a Changeling Queen take the shape of somepony as old as Granny Smith?
The Changeling spoke in a surprisingly strong voice for such an old being. "I am Queen Primary of the Silverrock Hive. Welcome, Princess Rarity, daughter of mine and soon to be Queen in my place." And she spoke a few words of Changeling magic.
Rarity felt a little strange, then looked down at her hooves and screamed. Her beautiful white body was now one of white chitin, with insect wings and a long bent horn like a Changeling. "What have you done to me?!" Rarity screamed.
I can't have this, I want to be me again... With a flash of green fire, Rarity turned back into her true self and thought to herself "Was that my magic or am I a Changeling now?"
She looked at one of her legs and imagined it taking the shape of Rainbow Dash's blue legs, and in a flash of blue that is what it did. Another thought, and she went back into Changeling mode. " Your Majesty," she asked, deciding that being rude to a Changeling Queen whilst she was totally surrounded by the Queen's subjects would not be the best course of action "why have you magically turned me into a Changeling?"
"Oh, you were allways one. Thirty years ago you were born in my royal egg chamber and I loved you from the start. But when you were just a small larva my Hive came under attack. Changeling Hives are sadly sometimes at war with each other to gain territory and, by fair means or foul, the love of the non-changelings within that territory. Whilst we can eat pony food and meat too, we need love to stay healthy. Also, even in a famine and a drought,as long as we have a good source of love we can survive on that alone, unlike any other creature in Equestria. That's why we can survive so well in the Badlands. Anyway, the biggest warlord amongst us was Queen Chrysalis."
"Oh, I know her allright, all too well" Rarity said.
"She and her Hive started attacking the other Hives and killing their Queens. To avoid wars being even more drawn out then they could be, the law of Changeling war is that when one Queen is killed, the other is automatically the victor. They came for our Hive and did quite a bit of damage, to the point where I had a couple of trusted Changelings take you away for safety and I magicked you into unicorn shape. Once the danger was over, I decided to leave you where you were, both to protect you from danger, and so you would not grow up spoiled beyond belief like so many young royal children do. By the time they come to the throne they think only of themselves and their power. I wanted you to develop your own talents and do a well-paid but honest job and you have not dissapointed me. I have called you back because...I'm dying. Changeling Queens, if it does not happen by violence or accident, know when they are going to die,and I've lived for over two centuries. Now, even well nourished by love, this old body is giving up."
Intrigued, please continue.
Ah!
Half of the damn thing's in italics!
In all seriousness though, this seems like an interesting premise.
It has earned a favorite from me, and I await further installments.
I might also suggest finding a prereader or an editor though.
You can do pretty good on your own, but one of those two things would give your stories that extra "oomph".
Still, congrats on the new story.
2160851 I have tried to fix the itallics problem as soon as I found out about it.
2160908
Nicely done.
Good start. Although, I would think that Rarity would be a bit more panicky about discovering that her whole life was a lie and that she’s a changeling… Ie.
Also the story could be fleshed out a bit more. Sorry, I’m really picky about these things.
But it’s still a decent start. You get a favourite from me.
Oh man! I'm going to feel REAL sorry for Spike. 20 bits says Rarity is going to use poor Spike as nothing more than food now. She had a tendency to use him in the show anyways.
Rarity didn't freak out? That not like her :P
Why am I such a sucker for Mane 6 Changeling fics?
A little too fast paced, but I am intriqued.
Little bit fast but I'm intrigued. There are a lot mane 6 is a changeling stoys but this one jumps quickly to the hive. We will see if it's different enough from the others. I will follow for now and keep my mouse on the like button to see where the story goes...
Now whatever you do, don't forget to bring up her connection with the Element of Generosity at some point. No, not the fact that she is generous. The fact that she, a Changeling, is bound to 1/6th of Equestria's Friendship Nuke. Once Celestia verifies that Princess Rarity is in fact Rarity, she may be inclined to extend aid and protection to this Hive.
...also, please don't go the route of "The Queen lays all the eggs". That particular Changeling Meme annoys me to no end.
I think Rarity kidnapping and accepting her being a changeling princess went far to fast.
Slow down man, what drama is there in finding out you are changeling if it sounds like no big deal at all.
2161813 Making things go too fast is a common fic fault of mine.
2161614Don't worry, I won't do that meme. Obviously the Queen does lay [isome ]eggs, or she could not have children, but the average Queen lays only three or four eggs in a lifetime.
2161487
There's a group for that
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/197726/x-becomes-a-changeling-queen
This story started way too fast. MOAR flesh is needed.
MOAR raritypanic too.
Interesting nonetheless.
I have yet to read the story but I must say this...that cover image with haunt my dreams...
An interesting premise, yet I do agree that it was a little bit rushed, ya' know? It was good all the same, but the "kidnapping" was just too sudden and when Rarity met Queen Primary, it was somewhat too short of a conversation. If you could have gone more in depth with it, more imagery, more movement and explanation, it would have turned out better. The flow was pretty good, though. I'm interested to see more of this here story. Amaze me with your imagination! To be judgmental on it, I'd say that it's decent so far. Interesting . . .
Sorry if you don't like this critique . . . If you like, go criticize one of my stories! Harshly, encouragingly . . . you just say whatever you want. I'm always happy to receive criticism, whether it's good or bad.
2161825 I have an idea to help slow down the story. All you need is to describe more. How about when the chariot lands in a mountainside forest clearing Rarity tries to make a run for it only to be stopped by an advancing swarm of changelings on all sides.
As she backtracks towards the carriage in fear describe what she is feeling, what her thoughts are. She stops and cowers in fear at the thought of spending the rest of her life as changeling food. Worse still her friends and family may never know what happened to her, she fears that one of those monsters will impersonate her and harm Sweetie Bell.
And then describe as the changeling crowds part for their queen who walks with both the grandeur of royalty and the pain of age. As she gets close, Rarity’s flight-or-fight response kicks in. She trembles in fear as she threatens the Changeling queen who just smiles and bows. “Welcome home, Princess Rarity,” she says.
It is at this point that the sudden influx of confusion into her fear laced mind makes her go blank, her eyes roll back and with only a frightened murmur she faints.
Cue next scene where she wakes up in the hive and to her horror she’s now a changeling...
It’s just a suggestion. I’m not trying to write your story for you.
2165748 I feel that I want to do a new story chapter first and then edit the first one.
2166463 I said the same thing to someone on my story.
I’m looking forward to what happens next.
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That is one "l" too much.
1. duties and
2. pegasi
3, 4. sped
Not sure Rarity would ever randomly and casually imagining one of her charioteers having a heart attack, nor am I sure the other could still land the chariot safely with two useless ponies and an unbalanced pulling angle.
Not quite sure Rarity would ever say 'creeping me out' either. Sounds more like Rainbow to me. Try 'scaring me'.
Hey, wait a minute, how would Rarity know where the Badlands are?
2182579 Diamond Dogs?
Yeah, we humans have that too, it's called Chess.
Hmm, I wonder how her friends will react to all of this.
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2182579
She probably as countrywide salespony, knows a bit of geography