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I think I've died twice and gone to heaven...2,527 words
He said it! He actually said it!2,644 words
Ground rules.1,567 words

Ground rules.

I waved as the ponies and Draconequus left, leaving me and my two human companions.

"Alright, listen you two." I said impatiently. "You can't just go and insult the natives like that."

"I don't care." Isiaih said. "What are they going to do? Shoot me with a rainbow?"

"That I have to remind you, can turn you to stone or even banish you off planet. So, what I'm asking is just simple, a small little thing." I said. "Let me do the talking and you two be nice! Or atleast as nice as possible."

"Why?" He said.

"Otherwise." I gritted my teeth. "I will personally send you into the lair of a dragon." I threatened. "So, be nice or you get turned into a smoking roast."

"Fine, I'll be nice to them." He said. "Because I know you'll probably do it anyway. So, what now?"

"We go to town." I said. "We're going to a dinner party later. So, what better way than to introduce ourselves to the townsfolk? But, you two might need my protection."

"What, why?" Gandalf asked.

"Lyra Heartstrings." I said. "She has a thing for humans. A stalking, religious and creepy obsession with anthropology. Mainly, you two. So, I'll probably have to change you two into something. Isiah, what do you want to be?"

"I'd prefer to be human." He said.

"Sorry, I cant turn an asshole into a human that easily." I said. "Actually..." I rubbed my chin. "That's not a bad idea."

Before he could retort, I snapped my flipper and Gandalf jumped away.

Isiaih was now a lightly tanned, grade-A jackass. Oh the irony.

"Matt! Turn me back!" He yelled, trying to stand on his new knobby legs. "Or atleast turn me into something cool."

I rolled my eyes before turning the both of them into griffons.

Isiaih had a upper body of black feathers, his lion hide was his usual tanned color. he was slightly smaller to Gandalf than I thought would have been.

Gandalf, had a patch of black feathers on his head that curved to the side much like Gilda's. His own feathers below that were a dingy white, his lion hide was a brighter tan than Isiaih's.

"Alright, now that were ready, lets go and possible have my own appearance terrify the locals considering they don't even know Discord's out." I said.

"I still don't know how to walk on four legs." Isiaih said.

"I'm atleast getting to stand." Gandalf said, getting up shakily. "Alright, I think I have this down now." He said taking his first steps. "Hey, this is kind of cool. Aside from it still being something from the show."

After a few minutes of watching them stand and take a few steps, they were finally walking at a steady pace.

We started our short walk into town, surprisingly, it wasn't but a mile away. You'd think some of the residents would have come to investigate the lights.

Right when were entering the town, the locals finally start to look. And they actually look pretty angry. Either that or they have constipation... Wait, they're throwing rocks.

"Hey! Quit it!" I said flinching as a mare threw a decently sized one at my head. "Seriously, stop it!" I yelled snapping my paw.

The rocks she was now throwing were turned to marshmallows. She looked at them before she started to shake with fear.

"Oh don't you give me that look." I said. "First you were mad and now your shaking like a leaf. What? Do you think I'm here to make it start raining lava?"

The poor thing just fainted.

Now other resident were coming out. With torches and pitchforks.

"Alright, fuck it," I said. "This stops now before I get burned alive."

I snapped my flipper and every door and window shut, locked. The locals turned wide-eyed, apparently realizing the situation. I snapped it again and their weapons disappeared.

"Now you can either sit or stand, your choice." I said.

They all sat in unison, shaking in front of me.

"Now, I know who I almost look like, but I'm not Discord." I said. "He's actually being reformed at the moment by Fluttershy. My name is Matthew. I guess I'll let the other two introduce themselves."

Isiaih walked up and looked at the crowd, who for a bit calmed down.

"Um, hey I guess. I'm Isiaih." He said.

"I'm Gandalf the blue." Gandlaf said. "That's what I'm usually called, my other name which I do not prefer to be called is theBaglady74."

There were a few chuckles from the residents. Good, they finally calmed down.

"Ok, now that that's settled, does anyone have any questions?"

And a mint green hoof went up.

"Yes miss Heartstrings." I said.

I could even hear her gasp, slowly she trotted over, wide eyed at Isiah and Gandalf. Wait... Maybe she can detect their original structures through my spell. Oh shit...

"Well, I'm Lyra Heartstrings." She said extending a hoof. "It's very nice to meet you two... Especially since I know your not actually griffons."

"Not griffons?" Gandalf laughed uneasily. "What else would we be?"

"I'm sure Matthew knows exactly what you are," she shot me a grin. A creepy stalker grin. "Since he turned you two into griffons."

"Matt!" Isiaih said backing away as she trotted forward. "Do something!"

Without thinking, I snapped my flipper again and all I heard was a yelp.

"Where'd she go!?" He yelled again. "Did you kill her!?"

"I-I don't know!" I panicked.

"Wait... I'm invisible!" I heard Lyra yell out. "This is-hey what's that?"

I heard a distant flapping and saw Rainbow Dash barreling towards us.

"Hey Rainbow, whats up?" I asked.

"I saw the torches from a mile away." She said. "Your not terrorizing the locals are you?"

"Even if I was, which I still have no intention of doing, you all couldn't do a thing to stop me." I said. "Because, I know where Discord went wrong. I tend to plan out every detail and twist others perspectives. All I would have to do, is send the elements on a one-way trip into space. And poof! Right into a black hole."

"Well don't. Hey, is that those two human things from earlier? Why are they griffons?"

"I knew they were humans!" Lyra yelled.

"Somethings touching me!" Gandalf yelled backing towards me. "I need an adult!"

I snapped my flipper and Lyra reappeared.

She was currently sitting across the street, freaking out a waiter with a glass. Once he saw the hoof, he looked down and narrowed his eyes. She grinned sheepishly before retreating back into the crowd.

"Gandalf, pull something like that again, and I'll turn you into a red slime from Terraria."

"I'm serious, something really did touch me. Oh..." He then noticed the leaf stuck on the bottom of his talon. "No one saw anything." He said raising a talon.

The crowd burst in a low laughter.

"Well, I guess that does it for the initial introductions. And you," I turned back tot he mare. "Do you throw rocks at every all powerful creature who comes into town? I mean really, just really, what possessed you to do that? What thought told you consequences wouldn't be struck upon you?"

Ok now the finally awoken mare promptly fainted again.

"And your punishment is being excessively trolled." I laughed. "So, Rainbow, I'm guessing Fluttershy and Discord have invited us to dinner?"

"Y-yeah... How did you know that?"

"I don't want to literally break your minds with the implications." I said. "Atleast not yet." I said. "Here comes Twilight and the others now, and Rarity's wearing her, least expensive dress that will get orange soda on it."

My stomach gave another rumble, but not entirely out of hunger.

"Oh... I shouldn't have had magic deviled eggs." I groaned clutching the area where my intestines are. "You may want to keep an open flame away from me."

The grin on her face told me she was going to do the exact opposite.

'This means war.' I smirked right back. "I hope you like your gravy hot." I whispered under my breath. "Because it's going to be scolding. Probably..."

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