Breaking the Shackles
“You have beautiful eyes.” Scootaloo hung, secured by chains above The Pegasus Device, a device that ground ponies into spectra. Some ponies might say that was the worst part of her current situation but to her, the worst part was not her imprisonment nor her imminent death but the fact that her idol, her big sister, her mentor was responsible for this. Rainbow Dash hovered in front of the broken filly. Her coat was soaked with blood, her body littered with wounds, her hair tangled and disheveled, and rage in her eyes.
“WHAT!!” The once azure mare yelled.
“You have beautiful eyes Rainbow. Ever since I first saw you, I wanted to be just like you. I followed in your footsteps, started a fan-club about you, and took flying lessons from you, even when you told me I’d never make it and in the end, I failed you. I’m so sorry Rainbow. I’m so sorry.” Tears ran down her face and fell into the evil machine below her. She waited for Rainbow to give the command that would end her life, but it never came. She looked up into her mentors eyes.
They had changed! Gone were the dilated pupils of rage and insanity, now replaced with the wide pupils of shock and concern. Rainbow now wore an expression of confusion. “Scootaloo…what…where?” Her expression changed to one of realization. She turned to the guards behind her, murder in her eyes.
“You monsters,” She whispered, “You BASTARDS! YOU NEARLY MURDERED MY LITTLE SISTER! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!” With that statement, she charged. Rainbow had a guard on the ground before the others could recover from the shock of their own leader attacking them. One of them recovered first. But instead of attacking Rainbow, she began to shock her own companions with her taizer. The guard under Rainbow struggled as she threw punch after punch to his face. The guard struggled once more time, and then was still evermore. She turned to the other guards. She didn’t even notice the two that were ganging up against the rouge one, while the rest, about five, converged on her. She smiled grimly. “Now things finally get interesting.” She charged again.
Two charged, trying to pin her to the ground like she had done to the previous guard. She ducked and the two sailed into the wall behind her and fell to the ground, stunned. She landed a flying kick to ones face. His skull was crushed and blood splattered everywhere. She turned to the other one. He was still trying to shake himself out of his stupor. She landed a huge hook to his cheek. With a sickening ‘crack’ his neck snapped. Two guards suddenly grabbed her hooves and pinned her to the wall. The third and final guard walked up to her, a demented smile on his face.
“How ironic, the manager of the Pegasus Device becomes its next victim!” He lowered the taizer towards her chest.
Rainbow grinned back. “Not today sir!” She thrust out her wings, sending the two guards by her sides flying. She then kicked the taizer out of the final guard’s hooves. He growled and swung a hoof towards her stomach. She rolled to the side and ended up punching the wall. He yelled in pain and clutched his hoof. Rainbow took this opportunity to kick him right between the legs. He screamed again and doubled over. She then slammed her back hooves into the back of his head in a powerful buck, ending his misery. The other two advanced toward her. She grinned again and flew toward them. They ducked under her and punched her in the stomach. She flipped through the air and landed on her back, groaning. The guards laughed as they advanced. Then, out of nowhere, the rouge guard slammed into the guards with such force that their ribs cracked. They tumbled to the floor. The rouge hit them with her taizer for good measure. By then Rainbow was on her feet. She charged toward the guard. “STOP, STOP! I’m on your side!”
Rainbow halted and looked at her with suspicion. “Prove it.” The guard threw her taizer across the room and put her hooves up in a gesture of surrender. Rainbow nodded in acknowledgment. She then flew back to Scootaloo and undid her chains. She lowered the her to the ground and walked over to the worker. “Now who are you?”
“The name’s Glaze.” Glaze took of her mask. She had combination green and neon green mane and a cream colored coat. She smiled. “It’s good to be back again.”
“What do you mean?” Scootaloo spoke up. She still had a freaked out look on her face from the ferocity Rainbow had displayed.
“Rainbow’s not the only one you brought back to sanity kid. I’ve worked at this factory for a long time. I was driven insane long ago. Then I saw Rainbow return. It reminded me of what I had been before I came to this place. I am eternally grateful to you for that.”
Scootaloo grinned. She then turned back to Rainbow. “What are we going to do now, destroy the machine?”
“No.”
“NO?” Scootaloo was stunned. “Why not? Do you want this to-”
“OF COURSE NOT!” Rainbow looked furious. “DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE MORE INNOCENT FILLIES MURDERED? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO PUT OTHERS THROUGH WHAT I NEARLY PUT MYSELF THROUGH?” Scootaloo shrunk back from Rainbow, fearing her rage. Rainbow calmed down and continued, “If we destroyed the machine, we would have nothing to show the authorities but the spectra, and I doubt the workers will talk.”
“She’s right.” Glaze spoke up. “If we keep the machine intact, we will have proof of what happened here and this factory is as good as gone. Now we need to get out of here before Doctor Atmosphere shows up.”
Scootaloo nodded. She, Rainbow and Glaze quickly flew out the door and into the heart of the Factory.
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The ending seemed a little rushed. Like, we don't know what happened to the ponies.
Plus, Dr.Atmosphere was suddenly added in and strolled in- just for the sake of making him appear. No offense- you just need to make this seem natural. Scootaloo hardly talked. Neither did RD. Polish up this chapter- er, ending.
I really like it
I didn't enjoy it as I have never enjoyed ANY Grimdark (Except Cherilee's Garden), but this was certainly better than expected. Although I disliked this, I will show my kindness and support this. I'll give credit to the Glaze cameo. That was pretty cool.
I will now have nightmares. more please
2121008 This is only my second fanfic, cut me some slack! I've deleted the Dr. Atmosphere part since it isn't necessary.
2121051>>2121059 I'm glad you enjoyed it!
2121548 Thanks for giving it a shot! But I have to ask, what is a cameo?
2121868 I never meant to give anyone nightmares, but I'll keep going if it gives you more.
2126891 Background appereance. Like on The Simpsons, where sometimes people like Jay Leno appear. Those are cameos.
orry. I'm just fully stating my opinion, but this can grow into an amazing fanfic. I'm being harsh because that makes you strive to do better!
Even though there is a rainbow factory sequel already named awoken.....
But you named it that so I can't judge
FAVED BECAUSE YOU MADE RAINBOW INTO A GOOD GUY AGAIN AND YOU PUT GLAZE IN THERE!!!!!
throughout the story, i liked it alot, there was some mistakes here and there, but i know you can fix them.The ending seemed a bit rushed, what had happen to the other ponies that were still i line and everything?over all i still like it.
2135258 That's what I was going for!
2146473 I line? what does that mean?
2162960 And it went well
)
(sorry for the week long reply....stuff happens
2232841 I completely understand. I am only allowed to play video games Friday nights, weekends, and Holidays.
2233448 me too
(but at least its worth it
)