·
Chapter 2
Good Morning... Ponyville?!
·
I see you’re sleeping well. Unfortunately, you may not like what you see upon waking.
Look alive, my student.
Celestia’s eyes opened.
“Whah?” She felt like she’d just had an odd dream, but couldn’t really remember it.
She got up and stretched. She noticed the intricate patterns the sunlight made as it passed through her window, and the shadows it formed as it hit various objects.
Hey, wait a second!
(Finally, somepony who notices things in a reasonable time frame.)
Oh great, did Sister raise the sun again? I told her that’s my job!
She trotted out of her bedroom, and was very surprised with what she saw outside.
Why am I in Ponyville?
She used her magic to close the door behind her.
Or at least, she tried to.
Oh no.
“DISCOOORRRDD!”
With a flash of light, Discord appeared before her.
“This better be good,” he said. “I was in the middle of talking to Derpy.”
“DISCORD, WHY AM I AN EARTH PONY!!?”
“Well,” stated the draconequus, “you don’t have wings or a horn. And that makes you an earth pony, my friend.”
“That is NOT what We mean!”
“We?” asked Discord. “Tisk, tisk, Celestia. Reverting to that already, I see.”
At that moment, Luna walked out through the door Celestia had left open.
“Sister, did I just hear you use the Royal Canterlot Voice?”
The Moon Princess looked around.
“Hey, we’re in Ponyville. How did that happen?”
(Oh I don’t know, Luna. Maybe the giant Draconequus standing right in front of you could answer your question.)
Celestia looked at her sister, and then back at Discord. “Why is she still an alicorn!?”
Discord shrugged and rolled his eyes innocently. “Well, why wouldn’t she be?”
“Because I... you... I... she...”
She looked right at the him.
“I am going to get you for this, Discord. I don’t know how, but I will.”
Discord laughed. “Oh, I doubt that very much. And besides, I suggest you spend less time plotting your revenge on me and more time getting acclimated. After all, you’ll need to find...”
He leaned in close. “...a job.”
He then stood back up. “I mean, assuming you like to eat and whatnot.”
Celestia didn’t like the sound of that. She had had a job. The job was called “princess,” and it was the most awesome job in the world. Yes it was a lot of work sometimes, but it was rewarding work.
But now, thanks to somedragonequus, that had all changed.
“Now if you don’t mind, I have more chaos to cause, so—” he snapped his fingers “—adieu.”
He vanished.
“Well Sister,” said Luna, “what do we do now?”
“You can look for a job if you want,” said the elder (ex-)princess. “I’m going to go find Twilight.”
·
·
Twilight Sparkle slept soundly. She had just had a super-fantastic coronation celebration, and she was looking forward to whatever her new life had in store for her.
The purple unicorn was awoken by the sun streaming through her window. She yawned and lazily got herself out of bed.
She looked around. She was back in her library home in Ponyville, and... had no wings.
What? She was a little confused. Was it... was it all just a dream?
At that moment, the door burst open. Celestia charged in.
“Twilight! Thank the Fausticorn you’re here!”
Twilight was confused. Several questions ran through her head.
1. Why is Celestia panicking?
2. What the heck is a Fausticorn?
3. OH DEAR FAUSTICORN WHAT’S HAPPENED TO HER?
“Princess Celestia! What’s going on?”
“Discord!” That name alone was enough.
Oh no. Now Twilight was worried too. (But at least her questions were answered!)
“I thought he was reformed!” she exclaimed.
“Apparently he isn’t!” replied Celestia. “He changed you back into a unicorn and he made me—” the princess shuddered “—an earth pony.”
(Dun dun dun!)
“So... the coronation wasn’t just a dream?”
“What? NO! Why would you think that?”
Twilight shrugged. “Because... no wings?”
Twilight had a good point. She had woken up in Ponyville as a plain unicorn—it was as if her ascension had never happened.
All that hard work... gone? Celestia decided she’d had enough of this. “Twilight, we must get the Elements of Harmony and vanquish Discord once more.”
Twilight nodded and retrieved the Elements from their case.
“Okay!” she said. “Let’s fix this.”
The two of them hunted down Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rarity. All they had to do now was find Fluttershy.
Unfortunately, Fluttershy was nowhere to be found.
Her cottage? Nope.
Sugarcube Corner? Nnnope.
Town Hall? Yeahhhh...nope.
“Consarn it!” said Applejack, who like the others had joined the in Fluttersearch. “Where is she?”
Meanwhile, in the Royal Canterlot Garden:
“Oh look at these beautiful trees! And the loons and toucans and bitterns! And hummingbirds that really hum! And buzzards that really buzz! And the squirrels, and the butterflies, and the bunnies! And they all love me!”
Yeah, Fluttershy was not coming back anytime soon.
The group needed to think up a plan, and quickly.
·
·
“Afternoon, ma’am... yes, we can do overnight shipping.”
“NEXT!”
“No, I’m afraid we don’t sell those stamps anymore, those were more of a commemoration thing. Thank you, have a good day.”
“NEXT!”
Princess Luna walked up to the counter.
“Hello,” she said to the mare on the other side. “I’m looking for employment. Are you hiring currently?”
“Huh... ya know, I’m not really the one who handles that sort of thing. I’ll hand you over to Reg.”
She turned behind the counter. “REG! We got a job applicant!”
A stocky pegasus stallion came up to the counter. “So,” he said, “yer lookin’ for a job?”
Luna nodded.
“Well yer in luck,” said Reg. “One of our veteran mailmares left a while ago, so we have an opening.”
Reg took out a clipboard. “So, what’s yer name?”
Luna cocked her head. The gears within turned silently. “I am Princess Luna.”
“A princess, huh?” He looked at Luna’s horn and wings. “Well, if you say so.”
He handed her the clipboard and a pen. “Well princess, get this filled out and then we can talk.”
Luna dutifully filled out the paper.
Name: Princess Luna
Birthdate: 21 May, 213 BC
Residence: Some random cottage, Ponyville
Contact: Just shout, I’ll hear you
Education:
Tutelage under Star Swirl the Bearded (205 BC – 196 BC)
Canterlot University, B.S. Psychology (192 BC)
Manehattan College of Business, M.B.A. (186 BC)
Job History:
Co-sovereign of Equestria: 0-35, 1035-1038
Supervillain, Astronaut: 35-1035
Reg took the paper and looked it over. Is this some kind of a joke?
“Uh... let’s just see how good you are at this.”
He handed her a pair of saddlebags. “These are some fliers we pass out to everypony this time of year. They’re individually addressed, so don’t mix them up.”
Reg felt oh-so-clever. He wanted to test the new applicant to see if she could actually do the job, but at the same time he didn’t want to risk losing anything important. The fliers were perfect for that, since they were individually addressed but all said the same thing.
“No go on, princess,” said Reg. “Let’s see what you can do.”
Luna nodded, her horn glowed, and with a flash of light she disappeared right before his eyes.
·
×
STOP THROWING PANDAS AT ME!
That job application is one of the best I've seen in awhile. I would hire someone if they filled out the form with it I think.
2158633
Okay! *Throws Derpy instead*
*Derpy flies away*
Nooo come back Derpy!
You know, I usually dislike this form of writing, but you have quite amazingly created a wonderful work here! I find myself chuckling and even giggling from this story and the antics of the characters. It's quite amazing, and I look forward to reading more.
This is by far the funniest thing that I have read in a long time. I darn near pissed myself
The narration's a bit too cute for my tastes, especially the parenthetical bits. Also, taking away Twilight's wings just after she'd well and truly earned them feels a bit cruel. And why is Luna looking for work? She's still an alicorn, surely she has a valid claim to the throne. Or can at least fudge one. Let Tia deal with her own problem.
Also, "BC"? Before who, exactly?
In any case, despite my misgivings, this was still a fun chapter. That said, I want to see the glorious dawn of the reign of Princess Derpy!
All Hail Derpy, the Empress of Muffins!
Awesome story I feel that Fluttershy getting her wish, Celestia's dread for mundane life, and Luna's job application were hilarious plot points!!
Good on ya brony.
'panda fic'?
2158813 Well ya know, whenever the producers of FiM give us a shoutout someone somewhere accuses them of pandering to the fan base. (a.k.a. Pandas!)
And I realized: Alicorn Derpy, Celestia's an earth pony but Luna isn't... so far it sounds like a fanboy's poorly-conceived daydream. And so I left a note to basically say "there's more to it than that."
(Also, this fanfic contains a grand total of zero actual panda bears! So in that sense as well, this is not a panda fic.)
2158796 BC = Before Celestia. I was gonna put that in the Author's Notes but I forgot! (And then I stuck it in later.)
And don't worry, Twilight and Celestia aren't gonna take this one sitting down. No, they're coming up with a plan!
Also, it's for the irony (or whatever you call it): before I heard about the S3 finale I wrote an Alicorn Twilight fic (or most of one, still in progress). Now that it's happened, I'm writing a Unicorn Twilight fic! I like messing with Twilight.
Spoiler-ish: In general, I like to put Celestia and Twilight in tough situations. At first it looks like I'm just being sadistic, but really it's because I know Celesita can deal with it (don't forget just who she is, now) and it gives Twilight the chance to overcome difficulties, which shows her growing up and coming into her own.
2159746
I have something of a tendency to make snap judgements about early chapters of stories. I try to defer my judgement until later, but on occasion, like now, I jump the gun. Sorry.
As for "Before Celestia," slight problem with that: Luna's the younger sister. Unless you meant "Before the reign of Celestia."
Heh. This was a good one. Lovin' the application you made for her.
Also nice to see you finally stop with the sound effects. Makes it much better to read.
This should be fun to see. MAke her buck apples. haha.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2160866 HOW DID YOU KNOW? Yeah, I'm gonna have her live with the Apple family for a bit... and learn about the ways of the earth pony!
2160888
Hmm... That might be interesting to see. Either that or make her a baker.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Yep Celestia being Earth pony I could live with... Twilight losing her wings.. yep not gonna happen in my life time unreading it.
Okay, this is adorable. I need to follow it!
What the heck is a Fausticorn?