Pinkie sat in her room, uncharacteristically quiet. Her mane, normally out of control, and defying description, sat poker straight, dangling around her shoulders. Her eyes, normally full of life and mirth, were dull and far away. Her mouth, which was normally stretched to mind boggling proportions, was flat and uninviting. Her energy, which was normally uplifting and joy inducing, was depressing and lonely. Everything that Pinkie was normally known for was nowhere to be seen, heard or felt.
It had been a month since something had broken inside of the pink mare. A month since the joy that flowed from every pore of her being evaporated. A month since the spark that defined Pinkie had mysteriously fizzled out. A month that she had isolated herself from any and all contact with the world outside of her room. Her friends had all come, trying to reach her, to no avail. A month’s worth of food, a month’s worth of letters, a month’s worth of her friends entreaties all sat outside of her door.
Pinkie sat at the foot of her bed, just as she had done for the past month. Her body was on the verge of collapsing. She had not uttered a word in this time; Her mind was focused on only one thing: A conversation that she had overheard one month ago.
______________________________________________________________________________
Pinkie had been bouncing along as she normally did. She was getting things prepared for a party that she had been planning for months. A party that she wanted to throw in appreciation for her friends, a way for her to show how much she loved her friends, a way to show how much she much she truly loved them. She was on her way to Sugarcube Corner when she passed by her friends standing in a circle talking. Curious, Pinkie stopped and listened closely.
“I don’t know about you girls, but I have grown quite weary of Pinkie lately. She is just so overbearing at times, it’s exhausting. I know she means well, but would it be too much to ask for her to tone it down a little?”
“I know! It’s like she almost goes out of her way to be annoying. What the hay is up with her?”
“Ah know whatcha all mean. The other day, she cumpletely trampled mah saplings, just to give me a hug. Ah know that she is our friend an all, but she can be a hoof full at times.”
“Um, yesterday, she scared a bunch of my critters when she was used her megaphone to say hi to me. It scared me so badly, I almost jumped out of my fur...”
“I have read some books lately, pertaining to the study of the brain and how it works. I think Pinkie suffers Bipolar Disorder, not to mention a severe case of ADHD. According to the books I read, she could also have some sort of mental retardation problem as well. The way that she is always so foalish supports my theory.”
Pinkie couldn't believe her ears. Her friends, the ones that she loved, the very ponies that she carried in her heart, thought she was annoying? On purpose? They thought that she was retarded? How could they? Pinkie’s heart shattered at the sound of her friend’s continuing conversation. Here she was, wanting to throw a party for them, one she had been planning for months, only to find out that her friends thought so little of her.
______________________________________________________________________________
Pinkie wandered off, not knowing what to do. Her mind and heart in shambles, she walked around aimlessly, not even noticing the stares and murmurs that she was receiving. Unbeknownst to Pinkie, her mane was straight as an arrow, and her coat was near devoid of color. Unbeknownst to Pinkie, her eyes had lost all of their once bright luster. Unbeknownst to Pinkie, she would never be the same again.
She wandered for hours, not even paying attention where she was going, or who she was passing. The world had lost all passion for her, all color; all meaning for her lost without her friends. In all actuality, Pinkie had all but died, the meaning to her life gone. Pinkie walked and walked, the world around her having lost any significance to her. Pinkie’s body was operating solely on autopilot, her mind replaying the events of her time with her friends, over and over again.
Where did I go wrong? Why? Why? WHY? Why don’t they love me? What did I do? What can I do? My closest friends don’t even love me. What about every other pony? What do they think of me? If my best friends, the ponies that I consider family, can’t love me, then who can? Am I unlovable? Do I deserve to live? Do I need to live? What’s the point of me being alive, if I can’t make ponies smile? What about the Cakes? What do they think of me?
Pinkie continued to wander, her mind lost in a jumbling flood of emotion and memories. She thought back to all the parties that she had thrown for her friends, all the surprises she had given them, all the hard work that she had put in to love her friends. Was any of it really appreciated? Was any of it really worth anything, if the ponies that she loved didn't love her in return?
Pinkie was at a loss at what to do. If who she was wasn't loved, if who she was wasn't accepted, if she wasn't desirable to the ones she loved, then for what reason did she have to exist? Pinkie was left with nothing but the hole in her heart, left with nothing but the emptiness that only those that have been rejected have ever known. That broken, cold, jagged pain threatened to completely overwhelm her, threatened to pull her under, and never let go.
______________________________________________________________________________
So, Pinkie sat in her room, her mind waiting for something. Waiting for something. Something...
Waiting...
Finally, now I wait for the next chapter.
2108181 YES! I love the fish slaps!
What do you think of this?
dude. I like it. a lot.
2108257 Thanks. I feel better, having wrote this.
Coudtop... I love you man but you cant be doing this stuff come on.
2108298 Doing what stuff?
2108300
Touching little boys with latex gloves I see
2108307
I like the story! ...though I don't like the idea of anyone going through this. Have faith in yourself, things get better! (and ponies can fix broken hearts and your world, take my word for it)
-Fixie
I demand a sad tag. NAOW.
Poor Pinkie. Could it be that all anypony wants to show us is her manic side?
I'm playing the Been There, Felt That card and following this one through to what I hope is a happy ending.
2108333 You been there huh? How so?
I bought into it, and I was satisfied.
2108341
As in six weeks' institutionalization for stepping too close to the precipice, after which I was turned loose on the street for lack of legal authority to keep me.
I'm pretty much past that now. (It's been a quarter of a century.) But I yield the floor, since I don't think I'd be able to derive a good story from my own misadventures.
Touching story, I'm looking forward to see where this is going
I. WAS. RIGHT.
I haven't lost my touch
Doesn't take much to completely destroy Pinkie Pie's psyche, does it?
Btw, love it, liked and faved
This was extremely well written. I hate to imagine you going through this type of stuff, dude, but I swear, it gets better. You've always got friends to back you up.
Not to mention you've got your PINKIE PIE self on your side, so you can just Giggle the sadness away!
Damn....this is tragic, was honestly expecting for Pinkie to kill herself, harsh but truth....damn. You did a very, very great job on this, shit...I'll keep up with this story, wow.
2108765
Hush, we rush edited it. Maybe if you weren't grounded you could have helped.
i've been there before, man. good story. keep it up.
2108311
This story is one of those stories i WANT to like, but really can't. You just stole the plot of "party of one", made the problem more severe and exaggerated pinkies reaction by waaaay too much. And all the others of the mane six feels out of character.
I'll track it to see where it goes.
2111214 I agree that he reworked the plot of "Party of One", or if nothing else heavily borrowed from it. I do agree that the mane six seem out of character, but I'm assuming that's for literary purposes. However, I don't think that Pinkie's reaction was way too much, not at all. Her entire world has literally just been ripped apart around her. Imagine for a moment that whatever it is you live for were suddenly and violently ripped from your life? What would your reaction be?
@TheCloudtop:
This was rather deep and well done, albeit short. I am unsure what to take away from this at this moment, whether to be sad, or angry, or what...? So I guess what I'm trying to say is this...
Time does not heal all things, but it certainly numbs the pain.
Please don't stop writing, or living...
2112700 yes, i fully agree with you on her reaction being natural, but also think that it is hugely exaggerated. no eating for 30 days? sitting still for 30 days? because of what reason? she overheard her friends say that she has had a few more parties than they'd like and she is too clingy? (wasn't both of these problems resolved in "party of one"/"too many pinkie pies"?) they even said
The only real problem here is twilight, but one pony saying you might have a mental problem does not amount to the kind of reaction she ends up having.
the only way i can see this story work out is to change either
the dialogue pinkie overhears (twilight is way to harsh, and why would they come to a party when none of them wanted to go?)
the reaction to somewhere reasonable (3-7 days) OR make it less severe (along the lines of just being depressed and distant and not acknowledging ponies)
This reminded me my best friend is turning narcissistic. She's always been a little self-centered but lately she's been braging none-stop...my other best friend is way~~~~~ to sensitive about things. She get offened so easily....another has been depressed lately. I will walk into the school building and she will be sitting there lifeless, gray and silent. Always crying lately and she won't tell me why. Another has been having issues with money and her family has been contemplating moving because they need to spend money in her dad's surgery. Another has a good friend who is becoming a "mean girl" and she needs to say goodbye. I have suffered from many family issues I sturggle with money and keeping up with everything. I am extremely overworked and my grades are okay I guess, but I feel incompetent compared to everyone else. I feel stupid and worthless. I know I need to overcome this to help my friends with their problems to show how much I love them and how much I want to thank them for helping me forget my past and start over as a completely different person!!!!
I've gotten on the same boat multiple times, the weird thing is; when I get depressed, I think of ways on how to die. However, when I'm bored, I do the "Knife Game" with a sharp pen.
This is a horribly terrifyingly super duper sad story that makes me want to hug Pinkie, and you, so tightly you'll drown in love. The feelings were there, it was powerful and touching. I've had depression before and I know how your mind just repeats all the little things over and over again. Even when you know the truth, it just simply won't do. You yourself become the enemy. *Sighs* With that said I cannot leave without giving a bit of critique. Where the details held the feelings perfectly, it also got a little repetitive with some words. After reading month five times and normally another half dozen it takes away from the tale. Your readers get a little worn thin. But because of the quality and sincerity of the work it held enough for me to continue, needing to know how the chapter would end. I love stories that explore Pinkie's need for friends. Right now working on something myself called Pinkie's Fear, her fear of losing her friend. You did a great job here and I pray that you've booted that depression by now. If not... *Hugs*
Oh... and this. “I have read some books lately, pertaining to the study of the brain and how it works. I think Pinkie suffers Bipolar Disorder, not to mention a severe case of ADHD. According to the books I read, she could also have some sort of mental retardation problem as well. The way that she is always so foalish supports my theory.” is one of the meanest things I have ever heard. It sticks to her character, but still... With my sister technically retarded I still tell her she's not and that she can learn anything if she just puts her mind to it. Retard should be classified as a new cuss word if it isn't already. No wonder Pinkie's spirits were crushed with words like that coming from her friends. I'm off to read the next chapter now.
I love it, except for the catalyst. It's not strong enough for Pinkie to have such an extreme response, and it's slightly out of character for Applejack and Fluutershy to say yhings like that.
Also.....please do some research on mental disorders before you use them in a story. ADHD, yes, is possible for Pinkie, but Bipolar Disorder, no....and I can definitely speak for the latter since I have it.
But anyways, other than that one scene, it was awesome! ^_^
Bro... I know Twilight's supposed to be smarty pants, but she's feelings smarty pants not cold, calcularing monster