There is darkness in everypony. And when the first Element of Chaos appears, the Element of Despair better known as Pinkamena, Princess Celestia tells her of the soon to happen fate of Equestria. That if careful planning and preparation is not taken, Equestria and everypony within it shall be destroyed.
Pinkamena, now curious with the revealed intent of Celestia, goes on a mission to uncover the other elements and ensure their unity and servitude. But Celestia is not the only one after the elements, as those who would prefer to tip the balance in favor of Chaos and destroy the world that everypony knows seek to stop Pinkamena and her quest to awaken the other Elements.
Chapters (1)
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THAT IS NOT HOW YOU USE THAT WORD
AGHHHHHHH
Ok, how do I put this...
It's good, but it's not exactly living up to it's potential. I feel that your background for Pinkamena could of been more further explained. In my honest opinion my version would in short be explaining how Discords chaos when free have released an energy that affected the Elements of Harmony, creating the Elements of Chaos with some form of copy, moving on.
It would of been nice to get a better picture of the world you writing in, how, where, and when. Plus the sound, the visuals, there was not a single visual explanation. Pinkamena's purposed and morals are explained decently, but I would add a voice tone and action to give readers a better idea of how strong she is in her words.
Celestia, I wasn't sure of, was she evil, was she simply intriged by Pinkamena's ideas and morals? I had no idea...
However I'll leave a like and a fav, cause I believe you will build onto your potential.
2073196
That's true that not a lot was explained in the Prelude, but of course, the facts that weren't discussed will of course be elaborated on in the later chapters. But thank you for your response, and I'll utilize it to build onto the future chapters. And I also will admit, I wrote this without a bit of focus, so it is a bit dry, and I may revise it.
2073165
A grammatical misread when proof reading, where it should be "prevent entropy within Equestria" But thank you for reading and I appreciate pointing that out so that I can modify it.
In terms of percentages (ex:10%) how close is the next chapter to being finished?
2073636 Wait... You're alive?