I Wasn't the Worst Student Ever
I think there was one sentence that summed up my entire six days of training.
"Never have I seen one so thick-headed when it came to learning magic as I have seen with you."
For the record, Luna said that. Exactly like that, and not in her royal way of saying things.
What was going through my brain the whole time was how I was able to learn magic relatively easily when it was Twilight teaching me, yet when Celestia and Luna were trying to teach me I was basically jamming a rod in the spokes of a bicycle. It took me a while to understand it. They hadn't actually taught me any spells at all. Every spell I had was self-taught.
Levitation was when Pinkie Pie surprised me with her party cannon. The magic beam was a natural attunement to unleashing energy. Invisibility was when the crowd made me so uncomfortable that I literally vanished from sight. Teleportation was me wishing to be somewhere else during the whole Ponyville people incident. The shield spell, well, I refuse to talk about that. Bad, bad memories come from that. Finally, that semi-portal spell I just attributed to chaos magic and anger.
All of those spells had been created by necessity and opportunity. Everything else has been a product of chaos magic. In fact, the only thing I've learned that involved magic was my illusion spell. Again, out of opportunity, I created an illusion of Celestia beforehand, but had attributed that to chaos magic back when I had originally used it in Ponyville. It turned out that I had done that with a normal spell instead.
I had previously thought back when I was levitating the books in Twilight's library that my magic was all about power, concentration, and a little creativity. Twilight had told me that I needed to envision, concentrate, and then create the spell. Though concentration was necessary for normal spells, chaos magic didn't work that way. I ended up only being sort of right. The creativity part was the key. I could only learn a new spell by getting creative under stress.
The issue I then thought of was the time I used transformation magic with Spike. Why had I been able to use that at that time? In the end, I went with it being the byproduct of a mix of concentrating too hard and using chaos magic. It was like pushing a square peg through a round hole. The difference here being that the hole was surrounded by wood and the peg was made of metal and at the same time you hammered it in with brute force. It didn't really sound like a satisfying answer, though. It was just the only thing that I could think of.
Basically, the whole week was mostly just me finding out that I sucked at learning things. The first day was fun, though. After the princesses reassured the guards, Applejack, and Fluttershy not to follow, we all went to the Doctor's TARDIS. I had the natural reaction to seeing it; fanboyish glee. I went inside and out of it a few times just because of how awesome that was. Sure, I knew just how it worked, but seeing is more fun than being told.
The Doctor then went to talking to the princesses for a bit. I'm not sure what they were talking about since they had switched languages. I wasn't even aware that they could speak in other languages with the TARDIS there. I had thought that the TARDIS automatically translated in every language with the exception of ancient Gallifreian and a few other equally ancient languages. As far as I knew, the princesses couldn't speak that. The logical conclusion for me was that the TARDIS wasn't translating for me just yet.
After running around pressing buttons, turning knobs, pulling levers, and a quick knock with a hammer we were off with the familiar sound of the TARDIS and it's parking brake. Not that I'm any better. When I was learning how to drive, I once drove a mile and a half with the parking brake on and no one noticed until I said something and yanked it off. I got teased for two months about it and once when I was a senior. Apparently, I'm now an example for instructors telling students to check the parking brake.
When we all felt the TARDIS settle, I waited for him to let us out. He then gave a gesture from behind the console with his hoof and I went to the door. As I opened it, I looked out to the hills of...
Canterlot? I was outside Canterlot near the front gates with the castle just barely in view. Sure the whole place looked like a castle, but I only counted the part where the princesses lived as the actual castle.
I facepalmed. I should have known that something like this would happen. What I wasn't prepared for was to be seen. There was an audible gasp and I looked down. It was a little unicorn filly. She had a light green coat and had almost the same color mane with a white streak in it. She hadn't even gotten her cutie mark yet.
Wait a second. Light green, white streak in her mane, some brownish eyes, has now spotted a human. There were too many things lining up for this to be a coincidence.
I squatted down and looked her in the eyes. I then put on a big smile.
"Hey there little one. What's your name?"
She was a bit hesitant, but finally answered.
"Lyra."
I let a quick snort before keeping myself from busting out laughing.
"Hi there Lyra. Aren't you a cute little filly?"
She started smiling herself and looked me up and down.
"What are you, mister?"
"Why, I'm a human. Don't tell anyone though. I'm a secret. I'd tell you more, but I shouldn't be here right now. You run along to your parents okay?"
She nodded and started running away from me. I then got up and stepped back inside and closed the door.
"This isn't Appleloosa. It's Canterlot. Also, it's several years in the past."
"What? That doesn't seem right," said the Doctor.
"Well, I just bumped into a filly whose name was Lyra and she looked just like the human obsessed pony that I ran into a few days ago. I'm pretty sure that it was my fault that she was so obsessed from just saying something to her younger self. It also fulfills the reason as to why we are here I bet. Let's try getting to the right place this time."
"Oh come on. Why don't we have a little adventure why we're here?" asked the Doctor.
"Normally, I'd say yes," I answered, "but since we're in Canterlot I would rather not have the Princesses run into their younger selves and form a paradox. I'm pretty sure you remember how that went with Rose right?"
I regretted saying her name as he looked at me. That definitely brought up something in him.
"I'm sorry I brought her up. It was uncalled for. I should have known better," I said.
"You do know quite a bit about me, don't you?"
"I'm afraid I do. I know I shouldn't know these things, but I do. I don't know everything, though. I never know what you're thinking if that helps. I only know about things from about the time you met Rose forward. I only know a little bit about before then. Perhaps we should continue on."
He mumbled a few things to himself and looked a bit sad, but continued on changing things around on his console.
"Oi! Do you know how to drive the TARDIS?" he asked me.
"Not really. The controls look way too chaotic for me."
I had a quick thought.
"On second thought, do you mind if I try to do it?"
All three of them stopped what they were doing and stared at me.
"What?" they chorused together.
My hands glowed as magic gathered in them.
"It's just something I'd like to try."
I held my hands up by my head and closed my eyes. I then started snapping my fingers slowly. First my left hand. Then my right hand. I waited about a second between alternating my snapping. After a dozen snaps on each finger, I stopped and held out both hands straight in front of me and snapped them together. I then opened my eyes.
Their eyes weren't on me anymore. They were all transfixed on the console. I didn't see anything moving, but I think I may have done something when I wasn't looking. I then heard the sounds of the TARDIS in motion.
"Did I do it?" I asked.
They all looked at me again. Their faces dripping with surprise. Even Celestia couldn't contain the look of surprise on her face. If I had a camera, I would've taken a picture and used that as my new screen saver. It was sheer gold.
"I take it I did something," I said with barely contained humor.
I heard the TARDIS stop and looked behind me at the door, then back at them.
"Well, let's see if I've doomed us all or not."
"What?" said the Doctor.
I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers. A bucket full of water appeared above all of their heads and dumped on them. It worked to snapped them out of their stupor.
"I have never seen anyone drive the TARDIS like that," said Princess Luna.
"Neither have I," said the Doctor.
"I just thought that since the controls looked chaotic to me that perhaps if I used chaos magic then I could fly the TARDIS. You didn't mind did you you lovely lass?" I said as I patted one of the rails.
"But that doesn't make any sense," said the Doctor.
"It's chaos," I deadpanned.
I snapped my fingers and a whoopie cushion appeared in my hand.
"Learn to live with it," I said and pushed on it.
The noise seemed to mollify Princess Celestia well enough. I saw her bring her hoof to her mouth and though I couldn't hear it, I swear she chuckled a little.
I, on the other hand, looked them over once more, then turned around and opened the door. Outside, was not Canterlot anymore. I looked out and around and it looked like the plains of Appleloosa. Not many trees were around and there were mostly dusty fields with a few hills as far as I could see. The sun was really beating down on me as well. Though, without any identifying characters, I couldn't really be sure.
Wait. There. There was my proof. I watched as a herd of buffalo crested one of the hills. That helped me out. It wasn't proof that I was there, but at least if I talked to them then I could be sure without compromising the timeline.
"Everyone, I'm going to go talk to those buffalo. I want to make sure where we are."
"But what if thou art wrong? Those could be the buffalo of old. They had no allegiance to anypony but themselves."
"If I don't go, I won't know anyway. Celestia can help, though. Right Celestia?"
"If you think that will work, then I will come with you."
"Wow, that sure was a ringing endorsement. How about I go and I'll teleport back if something goes wrong?"
"Better," said Celestia tentatively.
Well, I did just that and they ended up being rather nice after the initial shock of meeting a human wore off. They told me that I was in the right place. Also, as far as I could tell, I was in the right time as well. We were basically about two miles from the battleground one week in the past. Chaos wins this round.
Unfortunately, it was one of only two rounds I won for the entire week. I let the Doctor look at my coin whenever we were in the TARDIS, but only when we were all in the TARDIS. Otherwise, I was busy trying to learn spells.
A translation spell was the first thing we tried. It was the thing that I knew I needed the most. If you can't talk to anyone, then how could we understand each other? The Doctor had to turn off the language translator program in the TARDIS to see if it worked. It didn't. The next thing was a sleeping spell. I think I felt more awake than when I started and the others thought that as well. We kept on trying with a great many other things. Mind reading, the cloud walking spell, a change place spell that was a bit odd, and the list went on. We ended up trying over forty different spells with the only thing that worked being an illusion spell that I made myself on the fourth day.
The illusion I created basically made them go all over the TARDIS by changing the words on the direction plates. The control room is really only the first thing you see when you go inside the TARDIS. It's actually several floors and has many different things on each floor. The signs are what help you to keep from getting lost in there. I ended up changing them around in appearance to lead them to the pool. That's right. There is a pool in the TARDIS. I guess that joke from the season five premier wasn't a joke at all.
Eventually, they made it back to my temporary room with very unamused looks. Though, they were a bit happier when I told them that I changed the signs with magic. Of course, they thought it was chaos magic and when I went and fixed them, they were pleasantly surprised. They stopped trying to teach me new spells that day and instead had me practice with better and better illusions.
I didn't really want to say much about it. I mean, that concert I threw with the ten identical copies of me wasn't an illusion and was pretty cool already. Then again, I wasn't sure I could recreate that. The neat thing with the illusion spell, though, was now I had my very own mp3 player whenever I wanted. I could think of a song and then use the spell to create auditory illusions. Unfortunately, my taste in music was not appreciated by the Doctor and I had to give that up.
During that day of training, we did get to see the sight of my magic beam sending Discord flying. I didn't realize just how much air I got on that. The Doctor had been the only one of us who didn't know what that was. After we told him, he went into a nice little speech about something involving us being seen by Discord and messing up the timeline. I brought up the point that nothing had happened to us, so he must not have seen us. It took all three of us to calm him down.
Other than that, the only thing I had managed to do was slightly refine my other spells. I managed to shrink my shield spell to conform to my body and increase it to about six feet in diameter when using a dome shield. I managed to extend the invisibility spell to things not on my person, but only up to about the size of refrigerator and only while I was in contact with it. Still, a winning improvement. The last thing I improved was that I could now fire a magic beam from both hands at the same time and I had managed to make them into orbs of energy if I wanted to. The power had barely improved, but the versatility was nice to have.
I didn't manage to improve any on the teleportation or levitation spells at all. Though, the princesses were surprised that I could teleport without a bright flash. I hadn't even noticed it until they had brought it up.
On the whole, I only gained one spell and just refined several others. I did, however, get a nice gift from the TARDIS herself on the day we went back. That's right. The TARDIS gave me a gift. A personal translator pin. It was even shaped like the TARDIS herself. That was some cool swag. After I put it on, I walked up to one of the pillars and gave it a hug. I didn't care if it was an inanimate object. Screw you conformists!
After that, we all started back. I said my goodbyes to the TARDIS since I wasn't heartless and the four of us walked off in the direction of the battleground. After an hour, we all made it back to the place and back to the rifts and the awaiting ponies we had left behind.
"Princess!!!" yelled Applejack; the first to notice us.
We all calmly strode on to the area with Applejack, Fluttershy, Shining Armor, and a few other guards coming towards us. I nudged the Doctor.
"What are we? Chopped liver?"
"Oh give them their moment. They'll realize that we're here soon enough. We're not the main attraction here."
"True enough. While we have time to talk, do you think that you could try to align the rifts to this temporal plane? I hope you understand what I meant since that sounded terrible."
"I believe that you're trying to ask me to align the temporal signatures of each rift to correlate with the one here to avoid the large differences that occur in each."
"I am in awe of your mighty brain good sir."
As the princesses and the others had a nice reunion with each other, the Doctor and I waited patiently. The first pony to finally acknowledge us was Shining Armor. He didn't exactly have a nice look on his face.
"I trust your time was well spent?" he asked in a tone that oozed mistrust.
"First things first, the princesses were fine and were never in any danger. I never put them in danger. No danger ever came their way. Despite what you ask, I know that is your top priority before pleasantries. Other than that, I found out that I am terrible at learning things."
I could tell he wasn't happy about that last bit of news. It was pretty much written all over his face.
"So what you are telling me was that it was a waste of time to go on this trip."
"Of course not. I improved upon my spells and learned that I could use illusion magic already. The Doctor here also got some data on Discord's coin. This trip was definitely not a waste of time. Every bit of improvement and every bit of information helps us out in the long run and makes it easier for all of us to keep people safe."
"Ponies," he corrected me.
"Exactly. All of us become better protected. I know you want that. It will also help us get your sister and her friends back. I know damn well that we all want that and anything that can help improve the odds of that happening is in no way a waste of time."
Shining seemed to mull on that for a bit.
"How ya doin' there partner?"
I turned to Applejack as she addressed me.
"I'm alright. I'm ready to go help get everyone back now. I have no idea how long it will take, but the less time it takes, the better off for everyone. How long were we gone by the way?"
"Bout a half an hour ah'd say."
"Good. Barely any time passed by. It's time to get back to work."
I walked past them and mover over to the remaining rifts. As I got close to one, I pulled out my coin from under my shirt and held it out to see who was in that particular rift. In this case, it was Pinkie Pie.
"It looks like Pinkie Pie is next," I stated matter-of-factually.
"Be careful, Seth," said Princess Celestia. "Though your magic is more potent now, the danger that these worlds present has not potentially lessened."
"Not every world is a bad one Celestia. I'll see you all soon with a Pinkie Pie at my side."
I gave everyone and over the shoulder wave. Then, I reached forward and-
"Wait!"
I turned back around to see the Doctor fumbling around.
"Sorry. I just wanted to catch you entering one of those with the sonic."
I watched as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver out of somewhere. I'm pretty sure that I squealed a little when I saw it. The Doctor's sonic screwdriver was just as synonymous with him as his TARDIS was. I somehow was drawn to him as I saw that.
"You like this?" he asked playfully.
"Two things are thought of when I think the Doctor. One is the TARDIS, and the other is the sonic screwdriver. Did you know that they sell replicas of the sonic screwdriver you have?"
"Really? They sell replicas of this?"
"I think that the two of you are getting off track," said Celestia.
"Ah, yes. Quite right. Go on then. I want to take a look with the sonic when you touch that rift. Might discover something helpful when I do."
I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't get to see it in action, but I knew that they were right. I turned back around and reached for the rift again. I was about to touch it when I heard the sonic screwdriver. I hesitated a few seconds and then touched the rift.
It was the same sensation as always. Blinding light in my eyes and the subsequent trying to remove the spots from my eyes. Though, this time around I heard the Doctor's sonic screwdriver suddenly cut out. It was a nice frame of reference for me if nothing else.
When my vision returned, I noticed a familiar surrounding.
An alleyway. I got a bit nervous. I hadn't had good luck when I was in alleyways the last few times. I decided to leave the alleyway quickly before something bad happened. When I reached the end, I realized it wasn't really an alleyway per se. Sure, I was in between two buildings. However, they were just storage buildings near some docks of some sort.
I tucked my coin back in my shirt and took a careful look around. I kept finding myself in fictional places and chances were that pattern wasn't going to stop now. Like they said on G.I. Joe: knowing is half the battle.
I was at the docks. Yeah, that was obvious. There wasn't really anything useful to help me out there. There were a few unmarked metal storage buildings, a few piers that went off into the water a bit, there was a crane in the middle of one of those piers that helped move things around, and some dark water since I couldn't really see much in the middle of the night. I was surprised that I could see anything at all with the clouds covering the sky.
Wait a second. Why did it look like there were stars on the clouds? What kind of sense did that make? Perhaps there was something in the clouds that made it look like that?
No. Trying to figure that out was not my problem. Sure, I guess it might end up being a problem if it was hazardous to my health. Ugh. I didn't want to have to think about that. I'll just trust that Discord's magical reinforcement fought off anything that would cause me to get sick.
"Who goes there?"
I heard a voice nearby and looked around for the source. I couldn't see anybody and instead walked back to the alleyway. It was a better idea than staying where I was anyway. I first needed to know where I was and then second I needed to find Pinkie Pie. Well, not necessarily the first one if I could find Pinkie Pie before then.
"There! There's the... Wait. Is that a human?"
Oh, I did not like the sound of that. I looked around, but couldn't see where the voices were coming from. Without other options, I looked up. I was not pleased with what I saw.
It was a pair of pegasi. I couldn't make out their color from where I was, but they were undoubtedly pegasus ponies.
"What the hell?" I asked.
"Quickly! We must capture him and take him to Empress Nightmare Moon!" the one on the left said.
OH HELL NO!!!
I brought forth some magic in my hands as they both divebombed me. I threw the energy balls at them and they both hit straight on since they didn't have time to evade at their distance. It stopped their forward momentum and the both of them fell another ten feet to the ground. They looked like they were still barely conscious so I decided to activate my invisibility spell and ran by them to what looked like some city buildings.
What the hell man? Nightmare Moon? Nightmare freaking Moon!?! What the hell!?!
I didn't like that at all. This place made no sense. Reasonably advanced civilization, pegasus ponies, Nightmare Moon, well at least that did explain the sky. Wherever I was, Nightmare Moon was in control. That was evident. It must be some place where the Elements of Harmony didn't win against her somehow. Not good at all. I needed to get Pinkie Pie out of here, and fast.
I was so busy running that I almost missed something. The kind of something that just stops you in your tracks. There, over near a collapsed building, was a sight that made my blood run cold.
A giant robot. Not just any giant robot, but one I remembered well. A knightmare frame.
Ponies mixed with Code Geass. Something else kicked in the back of my brain. It was a sense of familiarity. Like I almost expected it. After a few minutes of staring at the frame, the gears in my head clicked into the right sequence. I knew exactly what was happening. Only it shouldn't be happening.
I was in a damn fanfiction universe.
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Preciselly.
:D This pleases me.
JIBUN WOOO
"I was in a damn fanfiction universe"
Sadly, our protagonist doesn't realize how many levels of inception that goes.
ALL THE SQUEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREREREEEEEEEWWEEEEERERERREGGZUFJFJRJDUFREEEEREEEEEEEEBEEEEEWMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEZEEEEEEEUFIRFIS
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