Take off
Rarity consults her sister - Scootaloo wants something - Fluttershy gets presents - Applebloom is advised - Twilight and Celestia have a talk - Everypony is prepared - The Spectrum takes off - The Enemy sets his board
“I can do without this,” Rarity said as she dismissed a few bolts of cloths, taking only her best selection. “Scarfs? It could be chilly, better pack for us all. Do I need to bring my seamster equipment? I do need to vent at times and I cannot go bursting at my friends...”
“Rarity...” Sweetie Belle whined.
“Oh no, I can’t simply go with emeralds, I’ll have to survive on baby blue sapphires. We can gather more gemstones if the need arises.”
“Rarity...”
“What if Sombra has placed the Elements in courts? We’d need to look our best. Better pack the Gala outfits for such occasions..”
Sweetie Belle decided she had had enough of her sister’s whizzing about in the shop, ignoring her. Time to get her attention, she thought as she inhaled deeply and-
“Don’t,” Rarity cut her off. Sweetie stopped her yell and had to cough for a few moments. A cup of water levitated to her and she took it.
“You knew I was here all along?” Sweetie asked after finishing her cup.
“Of course I did,” Rarity answered walking over to her. “I’m actually surprised all you did was say my name in belief that you would get my attention that way when you already did.”
“But all you did was pack things you thought you’d need and remove things you thought you didn’t need,” Sweetie argued.
“Sweetie Belle, I am much more focused on other things than the exercise I do at the moment when I want to. Now, there was something you wanted to talk to me about?”
Sweetie sighed and tried to think back. She had practiced in her head but going through with it was so... hard right now. “How long are... you going to be gone?”
“A few weeks, at most,” said Rarity. “I do hope I can find somepony who can look after the boutique while I’m gone.” She nuzzled her little sister. “I do know you want to try, Sweetie Belle, but we both know what has happened the last few times you wanted to watch the store.”
Sweetie felt guilty and looked to her hooves. “At least I managed to put out the fire,” she said quietly.
“And told me what happened,” said Rarity. “Which I do appreciate. But your talents lie elsewhere, in more abstract regions, darling. I do wish I could be there on the day you finally get your cutie mark.”
“Can’t I come with you?”
“What!?”
“That way we could be there when-”
“No,” Rarity snapped. “You can’t come with us. And no arguing, it’s for your own good. I will not have my sister placed in danger.” Rarity went back to her packing. Sweetie felt bad on seeing her like that being more distraught over what to bring and what to leave. She could tell by the fact that she had seen this behavior before over the years.
Rarity was always calm, whenever she was working, even when in a hurry. That’s how she managed her job. When she packed, she did so neatly and in an orderly fashion. Now she was bumbling over who-knows-what and tiny little things like if she should bring an umbrella or a raincloak. Sweetie knew it was always over something that mattered deeply to Rarity.
“Could you at least tell me why?”
That got Rarity to stop. She put down all the things she held with her telekinesis, walked over to Sweetie and gave her a fierce hug. “I don’t want to see you hurt,” she said quietly.
“When we were up in the Crystal Empire, Sombra was not afraid to hurt any of us,” she continued, looking straight in Sweetie’s eyes. “He was horrid, cruel and downright sadistic. Not to mention a terrible taste in regalia.” She rolled her eyes at the last one.
“But when he spotted the Crystal Heart, and Spike falling toward him as he was nearing victory, I could spot him licking his lips. He was going to do more to Spike than anypony would dare to imagine. And all I could do, was watch.” Rarity shuddered as she seemed to recall the moment.
“Rarity?”
“And you saw what he did to Twilight when he was here. He doesn’t hesitate to use violence against us and he will go across the moral horizon. That is why you and the other girls cannot come. We don’t want anything to happen to any of you at the hooves of that... that...”
“Horrible, evil, tacky-dressed ruffian?” Sweetie Belle offered.
Rarity blinked twice. “Yes, that.” She nuzzled Sweetie again. “Maybe I could ask Lyra to watch the shop in my place.”
“I could... make sure she doesn’t touch the things you would want out of harm’s way?” Sweetie offered. “Or... um, see if I could get a cutie mark with her help?”
Rarity giggled. “That’s sweet of you to ask, but no need. I’ve already locked them away and the key is in a safe place.”
“Where?”
“A safe place,” Rarity repeated. “You won’t get it out of me that easily, Sweetie Belle. Anything else?”
“One thing and I’ve always wondered about it.”
“What?”
“Why does anypony keep expecting me to sing?” Sweetie asked. “I can’t sing in front of others.”
Rarity giggled to some knowledge only she knew. Sweetie could coax it out of her someday.
Rainbow was packing very little. Just bare essentials, her toothbrush, hairbrush, wing preening gear, saddlebags for packing prank stuff that Pinkie would no doubt bring along.Heck, knowing her, anything Pinkie would bring would play a keyrole on this journey.
But Rainbow Dash also unpacked something from an old trunk in her closet, an old hoof-claw she never thought she’d need to use. It was an old hoof-mounted device that deployed a pair of metal claws when triggered in just the right way. She got it from her grandmother, who in turn got it from her mother, Firefly. Her dad wasn’t too fond of the thing, but Rainbow found it cool so she got it instead of him.
She learned how to use it in secret, of course. Didn’t want Scootaloo to find out and have an accident with the darn thing. She put it on her hoof and flexed, deploying the metal claws. Confirming that it still worked, she retracted them.
Hmm, this thing looks worn out. Better get some cleaning gear to maintain it. Maybe there’s something in the trunk Grandmother sent. Maybe I can get some by making a... what were they called again? Those papers for requesting things officially for free in the military.
The noise of a scooter coming closer down below brought a smile to Rainbow. Scootaloo was probably wondering if she could come with. Buck no was the obvious answer and she was going to tell her that along with an explanation as to why.
Scootaloo would argue about it and try to come with them nonetheless, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t gonna have any of that. She had enough trouble with handling Ditzy with the thunderclouds and looking for her whenever Dinky sent a message to the Academy asking to retrieve her from her lost trips. The Wonderbolts made it a daily routine to keep an eye out for Ditzy and send her home to Ponyville.
Scootaloo was getting lessons on the side of Rainbow’s time in the Academy and she was getting better, albeit marginally. Little rascal was set on becoming a Wonderbolt herself, just like Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow needed to remember asking for someone to teach her while she was away.
“Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo called.
“On my way,” she called back and went immediately for the door of her sky-house. She landed in front of the little filly with a smirk. “So what’s up?”
Scootaloo laughed at the little pun there and beamed at Rainbow. “Well, I was gonna ask you something.”
“If you’re wondering about coming with, no. I don’t wanna see you hurt and I’d hate having to explain to your family what happened to you just because I was irresponsible,” said Rainbow. “Scoots, I’ll be honest, you’d be the first wingpony I’d have with me on something like this and there would be a good chance that you could get your cutie mark on the job, but this is too risky to bring you along and we are already taking chances with Spike coming along since we need to keep updating the princesses about this.
“So... I’m sorry, but I can’t take you with me.”
Scootaloo stared at Rainbow with a blank look. “Actually I was gonna ask if I could look after Tank for you while you’re away.”
Rainbow couldn’t find any words at first for about five seconds. “Uh... well, I mean... yes. Yes, you can look after Tank.”
“Thanks,” said Scootaloo. She looked away for a moment. “Um... about that other stuff...”
“Yes?”
“I really appreciate you saying all that, but I know better now than just go off wherever you want. Gotta follow sister’s orders and all. Don’t want a repeat of what happened on the camping trip.”
Rainbow smiled. “Good. Just what I wanted to hear.”
“One condition, though,” Scootaloo mentioned.
“What’s that?”
“Kick Sombra’s flank for biting Twilight in the neck.”
“Ooh, I’ll get to him, don’t you worry,” said Rainbow with a smirk. “I’m gonna bash him so hard he’ll have trouble with going to the bushes for eternity.”
“Ew,” Scootaloo mumbled, then saw something out of the corner of her eye. “Hey, what’s that?”
Rainbow noted that she was looking at the hoof claws on her wrist. “Oh, this old thing? Just something from my grandma. Was thinking of bringing it along.” It deployed when Rainbow held it up.
“Oh, that is so cool!” Scootaloo’s inner fanfilly came out and her eyes were practically sparkling.
“I’m not teaching you how to use it,” Rainbow stated. “Maybe in a few years, but you need to practice with your wings first. Then we might talk other stuff.”
“Sure thing,” said Scootaloo with pride. “I’ll practice everyday as much as I can.”
Rainbow Dash had made a good choice. Scootaloo was a great little sister.
Harry grunted and stroked her mane.
“It’s really not all that bad,” Fluttershy told them. Several of them chirped and squeaked in protest. “Yes, I know, it felt horrible when it happened, but I am going to get better if I just leave it alone.”
Harry grunted.
“Yes, for a few weeks,” Fluttershy replied. “Don’t worry, I’m a tough cookie, like Pinkie would say. But...”
A squirrel hopped onto her shoulder and nuzzled her. “I don’t know if I can use the Stare like this. And I don’t know if I can be of any help this time.”
Angel stomped with his foot and gave a stare that said ‘You’re a lot better than that.’
Harry’s grunts came off as ‘Yeah, you can’t quit on your friends. You’ve gone up against a dragon.’
“Yes, but this is different. This is a unicorn that specializes in finding out your worst fears and showing them in front of you. And... there’s a lot of things I am afraid of.”
‘Does he know what you’re afraid of?’
“I don’t know if he does,” said Fluttershy.
‘Then let’s assume he doesn’t. Would you go up against him, then?’
Fluttershy averted her eyes from her animal friends. “Well, yes. But Twilight once ran into a door that showed you your worst fear... He likes to make traps... and I wouldn’t want to run into those.”
‘Then have faith in your friends. They will always help you.’
Fluttershy smiled. “Thank you, my friends. You know how to cheer up a pony.”
There was a knock on the door. Wondering who that could be, Fluttershy walked to her door.
“Fluttershy?” Ditzy was flying over a small pile of assorted goods and gift baskets adorned with cards. “These were sent by...”
Fluttershy zoned out there, looking at the pile. She spotted a box of Bon Bon’s “Get Well” chocolate, the white box and the red ribbons, alongside two bouquets of flowers, a bottle of grape juice, a butterfly shaped hairpin, four gift baskets with fresh fruit mostly not local to Equestria and a box from Sugarcube Corner with her favorite flavored cupcakes.
“All this for me?” Fluttershy asked.
“Uh... no, I got something for you too,” said Ditzy and gave her a muffin. “Everyone likes muffins. But that mean unicorn was just cruel to poke you like that. He won’t get one.”
“Oh, that’s okay, Ditzy,” said Fluttershy. “He was just a good pony forced to make a bad decision. I’m sure he’ll apologize next time he comes to town.”
Somepony approaching drew both mares’ attention. They saw Big McIntosh walking up to Fluttershy’s cottage with a gift basket in his mouth, this one filled with Red Delicious apples. If he seemed surprised by the amount of presents already at Fluttershy’s doorstep, he didn’t show it.
“Oh, hello. Big McIntosh,” said Fluttershy as he stepped up and placed the basket gently beside the pile. “Is that intended for me?”
“Eeyup,” he replied.
“I need to go,” said Ditzy and gave Fluttershy a peck on the cheek before flying off.
“That was... nice,” Fluttershy commented.
“Eeyup,” said Big Mac. Fluttershy took a look at him and his gift basket. She had read somewhere in one of Rarity’s romance novels about gifts. Ponies who merely used a messenger tended to be shallow. Ponies who deliver them personally...
Wait, why did she think that? Everyone fantasized about Big McIntosh and she had - on the odd occasion - been over there while he was working on the fields. Applejack had had to snap her out of gazing.
Wait, hold on, this was a golden opportunity. Here he was, he was delivering a gift basket personally to her and ohmygoodnesshe’sleaving!
“Wait, Big McIntosh!” she said that a bit louder than intended but it drew his attention and she - accidentally - slammed into him because he had stopped abruptly. “Um.. you know, if it’s not too much trouble...” she stammered while looking up his broad chest and shoulders. “After all this is over, if you don’t mind, would you like to go for a cup of...” She slowed down to a grinding halt, blushing as red as his coat.
Big McIntosh grimaced a few times and closed his eyes before he gave his answer.
“Eeyup.”
“Now, ah expect ya to do what Big McIntosh says is good for ya to do on the fields, okay?”
“Okay,” said Applebloom.
Applejack rummaged through a closet. “And make sure that he gets a break every now and then. Big Mac likes to get worked up so he doesn’t know when dinner’ll be, okay?”
“Okay,” said Applebloom.
Applejack noticed and walked over to her little sister. “Yer upset that Ah’m going, aren’t ya?”
“Yeah...” Applebloom tried using her pouty face at Applejack. “Do ya’ll really have ta go?”
“Applebloom, we’ve gone over this,” said Applejack. “Ah have ta go. The princess is counting on us ta find our Elements of Harmony, stop Sombra and bring’ em back ta Canterlot so we can have peace.” A beat. “And no, you and yer friends cannot come. It’s too dangerous.”
“Ah know,” said Applebloom. “Ya said it a few times already. Ah know Ah should stay in Ponyville, go to school and try to get mah cutie mark.”
“Good,” said Applejack. She softened visibly and nuzzled. “Ah know ya wanna come but somepony got to keep an eye on Big McIntosh and Granny Smith.”
“That’s right!” Pinkie Pie emerged out of AJ’s closet and made both them jump straight up and hit their heads on the ceiling. “Who knows what could happen to them if you two were to leave? It wouldn’t be as bad as when Applejack left for Dodge Junction to work as the cherry farm and I had to go on about kumquats and chimicherrychangas to make her spill the beans and I was still hungry after that, but still bad to leave Granny and Big Mac alone. They need somepony to look after and in turn, be looked after-”
“Pinkie,” said Applejack, having caught her breath and focused her eyesight on the pink mare. “Is there ANY particular reason ya had ta be in mah closet at this particular time?”
Pinkie blinked once before answering. “I was looking for that old toy cart you once showed me when I was invited over to your house after I had moved here to Ponyville.”
“Ya want mah-?” Applejack asked first, before going over to an old trunk of hers beside her bed to pull out an old ragged little blue thing with white wheels and lid. “Here ya go.”
Pinkie squealed and took the toy cart carefully and put in her saddlebags that wasn’t there before. “I’ll be sure to return it safely.”
“Thank ye kindly for that, Pinkie. But... Ah wanna know what you gonna do-”
“SHHHH!” Pinkie was immediately on to Applejack, covering her mouth and darting her eyes about. “I can’t tell. He’s watching.”
“He?”
“You-Know-Who,” Pinkie answered in quick whispers. “He’s watching our every move, evaluating us. That’s what I would do if I was you-know-what.”
“Pinkie, now it’s a little far-fetched,” said Applejack in a normal tone. “Sombra may be good at dark magic and all, but Ah don’t think he can watch ponies from afar.”
“You don’t know that, I don’t know that,” Pinkie counted in whispers. “But I don’t want to take risks. I can’t risk him seeing what I try to do.”
Applejack stared at Pinkie. “Alright. Well, here ya go with mah old toy cart. Hope the Twins will like it as a substitute while we’re away.”
“Oh, I am certain that they will,” Pinkie played along. And then her head buzzed.
“What’s that one?” Applebloom asked.
“Oh that one means that somepony wants to see somepony over something.”
There was a knock on the door of the farm house. “Applebloom?” Twilight’s voice was heard. “Would you mind help me and the Princess out with something real quick?”
Applebloom lit up and beamed at her sister. “Go get’em, AB.”
Applebloom was out the door as fast as her hooves could carry her.
-
“Note to self: Discover how “Pinkie Pie” can find out being scried upon, whilst being just an Earth Pony.”
“So y’all want me to get in there and see what the problem is with the... with the...?” Applebloom asked, looking at the insides of a large bowl like device in a chamber aboard the Spectrum.
“With the holographic magic tracking module,” Twilight finished for her. “With this we’ll be able to track down the Elements with the spell princess Celestia put on them.”
Princess Celestia smiled gently at the filly. “Twilight said something about you possibly having the chance for a cutie mark in engineering or at the very least, tool usage. I support her decision and one should always strive to help our foals earn their marks.”
“Plus, judging from this hole, Ah reckon tha’ the other engineers made a mistake when it came to making sure ya’ll could reach in incase a’ sumthing.” To which, the chief engineer stuttered.
“This is absurd,” he protested. “Why should we let a little filly, a child, have a go at this delicate device when we couldn’t?”
“I have the utmost faith in Twilight’s judgment,” said Celestia with a true smile. “And who knows, you might actually get an apprentice if this goes well.”
Applebloom took another look inside the thing and then back at Twilight. “Alright, Ah’ll do it. Pass me tools when I ask for ‘em.” She took off her bow and slid inside. “Holy! What kind ‘a couplings were you using now again!?”
“That’s it,” said the chief engineer. “I’ll be taking my break if you don’t mind.” He went outside, though both adults doubted he’d be back for the humiliation.
With just the three of them in the room and Applebloom occupied, Twilight could only look at Celestia with concern. Her neck still ached from the bite and the teeth-marks were still fading. She was okay so long as she didn’t do too much with her neck for a few more days.
Celestia looked as if nothing had happened to her at all, but Twilight noticed that something was bugging her. She could leave it alone for now, but Twilight was really wanting to know something else. “Er... princess?”
“Yes, Twilight?”
“Um...” Twilight shifted her eyes. “There was, uh... something that I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Go ahead, Twilight,” said Celestia.
“Back when Sombra was here and fought us... he, uh... he... called you a tyrant,” said Twilight with growing concern.
“So he did,” said Celestia, nonchalantly. Twilight felt even more out of her comfort zone with Celestia being like this.
“But... you can’t be one!” She exclaimed at last. A bump from inside told her Applebloom was startled. “Sorry!” She said and then turned to her teacher. “There’s no way you could be like him. He’s just a cruel, selfish and sadistic maniac!”
“So he is,” said Celestia.
“There’s no way you could be a tyrant like him,” Twilight told her mentor.
“Twilight... in a way, he is right in calling me that,” said Celestia.
At this point, Twilight gave off such a loud ‘WHAT’ it could be heard over in Canterlot. It disrupted some important paperwork.
“Twilight!” Applebloom yelled after the echo had subsided. “Give a darn tootin’ heads up before y’all give off screams like that!”
“It’s alright, Applebloom,” Celestia assured the filly. “I expected that.”
“Ah also need a tool of sorts. Ah dunno, something that gives off vibrations or the like, it feels something odd that ah need it in here.”
“That would be the new sonic screwdriver we have,” said Celestia and levitated one into the device.
“Got it, now how do y’all operate this thing?”
“Princess... just...” Twilight stared at Celestia in disbelief. “How? How can you be a tyrant? You’re nothing like Sombra.”
“Ne’ervind, Ah go’ rit!”
Celestia sighed. “Twilight, being a tyrant has nothing to do with how I rule or how I behave. It’s just a title.” She knelt down to lay a wing over her faithful student. “Twilight, he is right in calling me a tyrant, because there was nothing wrong with it at the time.”
“Huh?”
“Y’all wanna explain tha’ again?” Applebloom called from within the module.
“Twilight, Applebloom, a tyrant was originally somepony who had seized power of a nation through military might or other unconventional means. They had no legal right originally as well as today, but they were generally more liked than other means of government, such as the aristocracy.
“Sombra is still thinking with the archaic meaning of the title and so, in his mind, he is justified in calling me a tyrant. And there is such a thing as benevolent tyranny.”
“Really?” Twilight asked. At Celestia’s nod, she continued. “Well, I guess you would be one, princess. But to think that you wouldn’t have legal right-”
“Twilight, for me to have had any legal right to rule Equestria would have been for me to be Discord’s legitimate daughter,” Celestia informed her. Twilight felt like gagging. “If it makes you feel any better, I would say that Luna and I had a much better reason than Sombra to take the land by force.”
“...Yeah. Discord and his reign of chaos.” Ponyville’s brief episode as the ‘Chaos Capital of the World’ was enough to convince Twilight of how bad Discord’s first reign had been. “So when exactly did the whole tyrant thing get so pejorative?”
“What’s that?” Applebloom asked.
“Negative,” Celestia answered. “I reckon it would be about when ponies came to realize that tyranny could also mean that they wouldn’t as much personal freedom as they would under regular rule, and the aristocracy began to get more firm with how they ruled, making rules for themselves. Since then, most have seen to it that only the bad sides of tyranny have been displayed through history. Ironically, everypony here in Equestria sought to make legitimized claims for me and Luna to make sure that we weren’t tyrants, if they ever found out.”
Twilight remembered reading old history books talking of how Celestia and Luna had been born into the first great royal family, using their bloodlines to ensure ponies that they had right to rule and would always be there for ponies as long as they wished to be free and live in harmony.
For the first time in her life, Twilight started to consider that those books may have contained utter rubbish on the subject. “So... you and princess Luna are tyrants in a very old concept?”
“Yes.”
“And ponies have been trying to cover that up for how long?”
“It’s more like that our subjects have forgotten how Luna and I came to power. I do have old journals in my personal library to describe how that time was.”
“Could y’all pass me a hammer?” Applebloom asked. “Ah feel like Ah need to give something a whack in here.”
Celestia passed the filly a small hammer. “Would you like to read them sometime, Twilight? I could send them along with you.”
“No thank you,” said Twilight. “Not at the moment. I think I’ll stick to Daring Do and Rarity’s thrashy romance novels. Need to get my mind off things less important than this journey.”
It took a few minutes of klanking and banging before Appebloom emerged from the little hole in the module. “Alright, Ah think that’s it. Have y’all tried it?”
Twilight pushed a button and the module flared up with its bright orange hologram of the world, displaying Equestria and the other nations. “Yes, it worked!”
“Yee-haw!” Applebloom cheered. “Ah’m up for a-” Then she noticed that she still was a blank-flank. “Oh, dagnabbit.”
Celestia gave a simple laugh. “It’s alright, Applebloom. Cutie marks don’t come that fast for everypony. They do come for ponies who work hard and well at what they are good at and who don’t give up after just one try.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be informing the engineers about the success here. And maybe see about getting young Applebloom here an apprenticeship for her work.”
Celestia left and as soon as the door clicked, Applebloom went berserk with joy. “AAAAAAAAAHHH! Ah can get a cutie mark in tool use!” She repeated over and over as she dashed across the whole room with a speed probably only Rainbow Dash or another joy-filled filly could match. “Ah can get a cutie mark in tool use!”
Twilight laughed. “Okay, Applebloom, simmer down. We don’t want the module to break. We need it intact.”
A shiver down her spine came suddenly and Twilight felt as if somepony was watching her. But except for Applebloom who was still jumping up and down with glee...
There was nopony there.
The next day at dawn, Twilight was waiting for the others to come by the town hall, with Spike by her side and the Mayor standing by on the porch. Her saddlebags were packed with her own selection of books and Spike was packing his comics and scrolls to send to Celestia.
“Isn’t it time?” The mayor asked them.
“Yes,” said Twilight. “and they will come. They’re just clearing a few last things up, I’m certain.”
Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash came flying down and landed in front of the trio. “Sorry. I was leaving Tank over at Scootaloo’s place and had to say goodbye and to assure him. Took forever.”
Rainbow was having her own saddlebags as well and something on her forehoof above the fetlock. Spike noticed that directly. “What’s that?”
“This?” Rainbow said and released the claws. “Old family thing. Came from my great-great-grandmother.” She retracted them again. “Just in case of trouble.”
Twilight nodded as Applejack and Fluttershy came, AJ with her saddlebags and Fluttershy having... nothing with her. “Left the animals with somepony, Fluttershy?”
“Oh yes,” said Fluttershy. “Mister Hayseed was so kind to look after them while we’re gone. I just hope that we’re not gone for too long.”
“Relax, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “That there airship is one of the fastest there is. Ah reckon we’ll make records with this trip in lickety split.”
“Yeah, so long as I’m the one ahead of it,” Rainbow snapped. “Can’t have my own record beat by a big balloon with weights.”
“Here I am!” Pinkie announced, bouncing her way out of town hall and jumping over the mayor. She was having her saddlebags with her along with her wagon that bounced along with her. “Can’t say where I’ve been, cuz you wouldn’t like it.”
“Why wouldn’t we?” Twilight asked. Then she regretted it. “Eurgh, don’t answer that.”
Rarity came last with a wagon of supplies, including her equipment and a few bolts of cloth. “I’m so sorry to come so late, but I had to instruct Lyra about how to run the shop while we’re away. Simply cannot let it fall to waste with purchases.”
“You look like you’re expecting to make dresses during this journey,” Applejack pointed out.
“Why, of course,” Rarity replied. “There could be a chance for us to be invited to a high class party during this trip since we could officially be delegates for peace while we’re away-”
“Ugh, boring,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“-and I simply thought we need to look our best for such occasions. Even with speed as the essence, we don’t want to be rude, do we?” To empathize her point, Rarity even fluttered her eyelashes innocently, if that was even possible.
“Well...” Twilight started off and looked to the others for support. None to be had. “Okay, but we cannot stay long on those occasions. This isn’t a time to gather business for the boutique, Rarity, deal?”
“Deal,” Rarity said rather smugly.
“Okay, is everypony ready?”
“Yes.”
“Yup.”
“Yuppie Puppie.”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“Everypony don’t need to go to the bushes?”
“Yes.”
“Yup.”
“Yuppie Puppie.”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“Spike, Pinkie. I just wanna be sure-”
“I said yeah!”
“Yuppie Puppie!”
Twilight sighed in relief. “We’re ready, Mayor.”
“Excellent,” said Ivory Scroll. “The Princess has delegated things to me to speed things up.” She had her assistant levitate a scroll in front of her. The royal seal spoke plainly of its sender. “Good Twilight Sparkle and friends, you are about to embark on one of the most important missions for the sake of Equestria. As Princess and ruler of Equestria, it is my privilege to bestow upon you the right to do what is necessary to succeed. So long as you write down your own version of any incident you may partake in, we can offer you protection from public.
“It’s a long list of things here,” the mayor intervened reading the scroll. “Remember to stay together and trust in each other and you will prevail over this foe. Good luck.
“Signed, Princess Celestia.” The scroll was rolled up and passed over to Twilight so she could read the list later. “And I would like to add... Well, good luck, I suppose.”
“Thanks,” said Twilight.
“Alright, let’s get this show in the air,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Anchors weighed,” said a crewpony.
“Ballasts are all set,” said another.
“This is engine room,” said an intercom in the bridge. “We’re all set and ready down here.”
The captain turned to the six mares and the dragon on the bridge. “Whenever you’re ready, ladies.”
Twilight turned to her friends who all nodded in agreement. “You know what to do, captain.”
The captain redirected his attention to the crew. “All hooves to your stations! Secure harnesses. Lock down all objects. Redirect power to engines!”
They felt the ship stir and creak mildly by the strain of turning. It was slow, but it was worth the view. Down below, they all could see ponies them goodbye and good luck. There was even a sign saying “Kick Evil’s Flank!!!” down there.
The mares couldn’t help themselves, so they rushed out to the observation deck and waved back at them. Pegasi gave small salutes and flew by them.
Rarity could see the CMC down below, Scootaloo with Rainbow Dash’s pet tortoise and they were all with Big McIntosh on the side. Sweetie Belle was waving straight at her and she waved back.
Pinkie saw the Cakes at Sugarcube Corner and waved at them. Then Mrs. Cake seemed to freak, but that was due to Gummy being on her back.
Thunderlane flew up to the obs-deck and held up a hoof. Rainbow Dash flew up and bumped it before flying back. The whole weather team gave her salutes.
Twilight felt almost a bit let out as she didn’t have anypony close to her in Ponyville except her friends and they were all going with her. “Hey, Twilight,” Spike called to her and pointed in a direction. “Look.”
A small distance away, she could see Celestia and Luna along with a couple of guards flying in their direction. The four of them stopped when they were close enough to see facial features, though Celestia flew in closer than the rest. She stopped by Twilight to nuzzle her. “Good luck, my faithful student.”
Celestia took off to hover next to her sister. Luna didn’t fly close to them, but she gave them a strong smile and a soft nod. Then they took off back to Canterlot, save for the two pegasi guards. Twilight recognized the one on the left, Sir Destrier, who had volunteered to look after her quite often when Celestia couldn’t back in Canterlot. He gave a good salute to her.
The other was a young fellow with an orange coat and blue hair like her brother. His armor was also different from Destrier’s, but she couldn’t make out the details. He made a motion that surprised her before he and Destrier took off. Twilight was looking out blankly seeing the two fly off, Destrier doing something to the young guy’s head. But Twilight was more concerned with what the rookie had done.
Did he just wink at me?
“Twilight.” Applejack nudged her shoulder. “We’re about ta fire up tha module you and the princess had Applebloom work on yesterday. You gonna come in?”
Twilight took one last look at the fleeing silhouettes before answering. “I’ll be there.”
The tiara looked almost ridiculous, he thought as he wore it on the forehead of “The Great and Powerful Trixie.” Almost was the keyword.
He had to admit that it was admirable in its elegant yet humble appearance, and he had no special taste for colors. Otherwise, he’d have colored Shining Armor black and red.
Tastes aside, his plan was proceeding fine. The spell he had taken from Farsight showed him just where the Bearers were. Aboard their new airship they had set off in pursuit of him and the Elements.
Sombra grinned with Trixie’s face.
“Uh... My liege?” The word ‘liege’ was almost strained by the pony smith. The smith gulped before continuing. “Forgive my impertinence-” Ooh, he actually knew such a word. “but is it really wise to allow them to pursue us- I mean you - pursue you across the world, and us going through with all this? What is the purpose?”
Sombra turned on the smith. “Steel Beard - that is your name, yes? - I have taken the steps to ensure this outcome. There is a risk, yes, but it is such with all plans. And I do suggest you do your part - it’d be a shame to see that your hard work so far... unfinished.”
Steel Beard grimaced but his eyes had relented. “Yes - Sir.” He had said the second word with a hint of disgust.
“I’ll uphold my end of the bargain, Steel. And who knows,” he said and walked past Steel Beard and whipped Trixie’s tail into his muzzle. “You may yet have a chance for this.”
Sombra recalled a look some mares had given him in his previous life when he wasn’t a king. It was that seductive, I-want-you-as-a-stud look that mares would use to toy with stallions. Sombra couldn’t tell if he had replicated that look while possessing Trixie. Steel Beard didn’t look enthralled at all.
Sombra didn’t care. He had five other stallions to use and Steel Beard was busy with his work. As long as the others didn’t try something stupid, he could proceed without hesitation.
A whistling sound of birds diving came to his ears and at least five griffins in mixed armor and weapons landed around him. He could hear the others being surrounded too. Bandits, obviously.
“Now, now, little mare,” said one of them in a heavy accent - probably Germane - and held up a claw. “Ve do not vant to harm you, I recommend you give us that lovely tiara you have on your head.”
The griffins had used the dead of the moonless night to sneak up on the ponies, Sombra deduced, and were looking for easy pickings for money. And they had come straight to him.
Trixie had a small chuckle while closing her eyes. When she opened them again, the griffins saw the green glow and the purple smoke coming out of her blood red eyes. “I think not.”
If there was one thing that nopony knew how to fight, it was darkness. The griffins may as well have been unarmed against the growing smoke of darkness that overran the camp.
By dawn, there was no sign of any proof they were there to begin with.
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3022876 If I had you within a stone throw's range right now, I'd kiss you full blown on the mouth for that comment.
I'll see what I can do about one-shots, but I will continue this story. It's my big one. But things do kick up in the story. I guess I just need some more practice.
Thank you for that lovely comment, I hope to see you reading this in the future.
And so the journey begins...
Nice story. Looking forward to seeing how it plays out.
All right, here goes, my end of the Review Trading bargain.
What this story needs, my friend, is focus. What kind of story is it supposed to be? What's it about? What's the atmosphere like? I encourage you to think long and hard about these questions and come up with clear answers to them, because right now, the story is jumping all over the place. From dark action-adventure to wacky comedy to shipping, it's all thrown in there, and I have to say you've done a poor job of making it all fit together.
This causes particularly jarring Mood Whiplash in chapter 3, after Sombra has escaped with the Elements. After the darkness and tension of the big fight, the pace of the story suddenly drops and the mood gets a lot calmer as our heroes nurse their wounds and prepare to go after Sombra. It mostly stays that way throughout chapters 4 and 5. In fact, almost all of chapter 5 feels very much out of place in a story that's supposed to be dark adventure, because of all the trivialities. Shouldn't they be rushing to stop Sombra, rather than worrying about what they're going to pack, who's going to watch the shop while they're away, and whether Applebloom will get her cutie mark in engineering?
On a related note, each chapter has more than its share of jokes. Assuming you're not trying to write a comedy, those should be used much more sparingly. Slip in a subtle reference here, have the characters share a laugh there, but don't put all those comedic touches in the narration itself if you want people to take your story seriously.
Almost as suddenly as the tension drops near the end of chapter 3, it rises in chapter 1. Seemingly out of nowhere, Equestria is now a nation at war, with changelings and diamond dogs raiding the borders and militias training in every town. I think building this up more gradually would make the story a lot stronger.
Then there's the matter of décor and atmosphere. The fight scenes themselves are fairly competently written, but they mostly take place in a White Void Room. It would really help if you took some time to describe the setting every now and then, so that readers can picture the scene more easily. Some more description would also add much-needed colour to the story; right now, it feels almost like reading a plot summary in some places.
So, my most important advice would be to get a clear idea of where you're going with this story, and stick to it. On that note, asking for readers' input, as you do in the author's notes to chapters 4 and 5, seems like a very bad idea. Especially for adventure stories, writing well is very hard if you don't have at least a rough sketch of your plot planned out in advance.
Of course, I'd be happy to elaborate further on any of these points if you'd like me to.