Prologue
Thought Experiments 3:
Accelerando
Prologue
“Wait, this is your favorite song?” Rainbow Dash asked Twilight from her position near the ceiling of Rarity’s bedroom. In her hooves was an Ancient CD entitled Chicago IX: Greatest Hits.
The six ponies had gathered together at the dressmaker’s for a slumber party. It was five months before the Second Pony-Dragon War had broken out, and long before Vinyl Scratch had gotten stuck in any of their dreams.
“Yes,” said Twilight Sparkle to Dash’s question, nodding her head. She was lying down on top of her sleeping bag. In front of her was a pile of dozens of other CDs, seemingly ordinary objects made extraordinary by the fact that they came from another time and place.
“But you just said you don’t know what it means!” the pegasus protested, her wings beating against the air. “How can a pony who overthinks everything like a song she doesn’t understand?”
Twilight shrugged. “I just do.”
“And what kind of rhyme is ‘ix’ and ‘hits’?” Rainbow said with a smile.
“It’s pronounced ‘nine’, not ‘ix’,” Twilight replied, utterly failing to get that the pegasus was joking. “Look, I just like what I like!” she added, hoping to end the discussion.
“Apple Jacks!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.
“Don’t drag me into this!” protested the farmer pony.
“No, not you, Applejack!” explained Pinkie. “I meant Apple...You know what, forget it.”
“We’ve all said what our favorite Ancient songs were, Rainbow,” said Twilight. “What’s yours?”
The pegasus crossed her forelimbs and looked up at the ceiling. “I haven’t got one.”
“Really?” asked Rarity from atop her bed. “I would have bet bits that you would have picked one of the pieces on that sports collection over there. If I were a betting mare, that is.”
“Yeah, those songs are alright—I’ll probably add one or two of them to my tryout music for the Wonderbolts. I’m not going to pick out a favorite though, because Jeff was a sexist.”
“What?!” Rarity cried, rising to her hooves. “Jeffrey was a perfect gentle-Ancient, and I won’t stand to hear you attacking his sterling reputation, or his taste in music!”
“But you did just stand up!” exclaimed Pinkie with a grin, which caused the white unicorn to roll her eyes.
“If he’s such a ‘gentle-Ancient’,” said Rainbow Dash, “then why are the tough songs only sung by stallion-Ancients? All the mare-Ancient songs are so pathetic!” She dropped down onto her hind hooves and put the back of one wrist to her forehead. “‘Oh, help me!’ those singers keep saying, ‘I can’t live without a male in my life. I am so weak and defenseless! Even if my special somepony is a jerk, I’ll never leave him.’ Pathetic!”
“Well, there’s—” began Twilight.
“And songs just using mare-Ancients as backup singers don’t count!”
“Oh. Never mind then.”
The others took a few seconds to try to think of a song in Pinkie’s collection of Ancient CDs that did not fit this pattern. The longer they tried, the darker the smirk on the pegasus’ face got.
“I think I know a song that’s not like that,” volunteered the other pegasus in the room, the one the others had nearly forgotten about. Fluttershy poked through the pile of discs, and finally pulled one out. It had the unwieldy title of Now That’s What I Call Classic Rock Hits. It had been ignored by the other ponies because it mostly contained songs that were duplicated on other CDs in the collection (like “25 or 6 to 4”), and because the ones that were left had titles that were either uninspiring (“Locomotive Breath”) or incomprehensible (“Paradise by the Dashboard Light”).
Twilight levitated the silvery disc out of the case and into the Equestria Acoustics Singalong CD player/karaoke machine, playing the track that Fluttershy indicated: “Crazy On You”, by Heart.
The song began with an intricate acoustic guitar solo in a vaguely folk flavor, which wound down into a sweet end, before switching to the fast and intense riff that dominated the rest of the song.
Rainbow Dash listened intently, listened again with a big grin on her face, and then concluded that she did indeed now have a favorite song.
The reaction of Twilight and Rarity was quite the opposite: they started by liking the instrumentals and the passion of the singing, but then began to get more and more uncomfortable as it became obvious that “passion” was precisely what this song was about.
Fluttershy and Applejack on the other hoof were able to listen to the song without showing much of a reaction.
Pinkie—as with every other song they had heard that night—declared that it was the “best song ever!”
“Argh!” exclaimed Vinyl Scratch, as she, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie used the song to plunge into Rainbow Dash’s subconscious. “Why can’t any of you like something that isn’t terrifically foreboding?”
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I've got this story about halfway written, but I've run up against some writer's block. I've therefore decided to post one chapter a night until I'm out of chapters, in hopes that this will motivate me to finish.
Oh, and here's a bit of a challenge for you: try and guess what my inspiration was for this story's (poorly-Photoshopped) title illustration.
Does this story have anything to do with Charles Stross' Accelerando?
1907084
The picture immediately made me think of Vinyl going Super Saiyan, or at least something along those lines...
Anyway, I'm eager to see where this next installment in the series goes! It sounds like Rainbow Dash has dreams similar to the kinds I tend to have
1908695
I didn't know who that even was until just now. Wikiing it, it looks like that short story collection was about approaching the technological singularity. I think you'll find that's not really what my story is about.
Oh, and my inspiration for the title is the same as Stross': a musical term meaning something that is going faster and faster.
1908851
Yeah, I figured I'd get a lot of Super Saiyan guesses, but you'll note I didn't make her a blonde.
30th anniversary of Friendship is Magic or the 30th anniversary of the My Little Pony franchise? Which would place it, I believe, in 2014 (I hope they have something special planned for that)??
You have all of my yes for using Crazy on You. That's probably my favorite Heart song.
It's a long time but can I think the picture was a reference to Spirited Away? Just guessing.
8094749
No. Did you ever see Hitchcock's Vertigo? It's from the nightmare sequence.
8094774 Unfortunately no, not well versed in many shows both new and old.