Chapter 1
October 13th, 40003
Steel Legion barracks, Armageddon orbit
"WAKE UP, YOU SLUGPONIES! I'VE SEEN HOGS LESS LAZY THEN YOU!"
Twilight groaned, opening her still sleepy eyes and glaring at the speaker mounted on her wall. She slowly rolled off the top bunk of her bed, finding herself a little wobbly on her hooves. She walked at a sluggish pace out of the bunkroom and made her way to the mess hall, ears perking up when she smelt daisy pancakes. She grabbed a plate and found a seat beside her only friend, a sweet pegasus named Fluttershy. She might be quiet, but she proved to be very kind when Twilight felt particularly exhausted after training, which was everyday. "Morning, Fluttershy." She greeted with a smile.
"Oh, um, hello Twilight." She replied, trying to hide her face behind her hair, or what was left of it; most ponies had to have haircuts after joining the Equestrian Guard, long hair being hazardous in the field of battle and hard to fit under a helmet. Fluttershy's short pink hair was barely enough to cover her forehead now, only going to the beginning of her neck in the back. Twilight didn't know her pain, however, glancing at her dark magenta-striped mane. "How've you been?" The unicorn asked, aiming her attention at her pancakes instead. "Um, good, I guess. Thunderwing ran me ragged at the morning drill, though." Fluttershy sighed, taking a bite of her daffodil sandwich.
"Blame it on the commissar. If she actually paid attention to how hard the sergeants are on u-" Twilight started before a hoof tapped her on the shoulder. She looked behind herself at the culprit, and went pale. A pink mare stood there, her light blue eye hard as stone, with a nasty scar leading from her forehead to her jaw. A bionic implant replaces her other eye where the scar met it. Atop her head, barely containing her curly red hair, was a cap adorned with a winged skull. Along with this, she wore a black jacket with various medals and badges, polished black boots, and a red sash. Something about her demeanor sent a chill down Twilight's spine, and for good reason. "What was that you said about my attention-paying, miss Sparkle?" She asked with an angry tone, which caused Twilight to shrink in her seat.
"N-n-nothing, Commissar Pie." She choked out.
Commissar Pie humphed and smiled. "Good. I won't tolerate any bad-mouthing between my troops. You're part of the 178th and dangit you're gonna act the part!" She turned and left, leaving Twilight speechless. The lavender unicorn looked down at her food glum, and Fluttershy nudged her shoulder.
"Don't feel bad, Twilight." The cream pegasus consoled her friend. "Pie chewed me out last week for forgetting to brush my te-"
"WHO FORGOT TO BRUSH!?" Came the commissar's voice, echoing throughout the entire ship.
Fluttershy looked at Twilight, then at the hall the commissar was running down toward them, and then back at Twilight. "You didn't.." She stopped when Pie halted in front of the two once again, clutching a lavender toothbrush in her mouth. "I burrive ths brrngs tu yuh." The pink mare stated around it, pointing at Twilight.
"Faust have mercy!" Screamed Twilight as the commissar dragged her away by her ear.
Same Day
Apple Strikers, Appleoosius base
Applejack muttered in annoyance as battlesister Rarity combed her mane, droning on and on about how LOVELY she'll look when she's done and how ANGRY she'd be if any of those NASTY Hogs messed it up. "Uhh, Rarity? Ah don't think ah need to be all primped an' preened.." She argued.
"Oh nonsense, dear! I would rather DIE than see anypony march into battle with hair like yours!" Rarity protested.
"You're a saint, Rarity." Applejack rolled her eyes.
Rarity didn't seem to notice AJ's insult, nor did she notice the giant red stallion entering the room until he spoke, his voice deep and tinged with the same Appleoosian accent Applejack had. "Sister Rarity?" He inquired.
The white unicorn immediately spun around, a big grin on her face. "Chapter Master Macintosh! How wonderful to see you! I'm just finishing up with your sister's mane. She'll be battle-ready in no time!" She happily tapped her hooves together before continuing her work. Macintosh rolled his eyes and stepped closer.
"The Hogs are coming faster than we first predicted. There's no time for combing, ladies." He stated, his voice more serious than Applejack had ever heard it.
"Big bro- err, I mean, Master Macintosh; what's so bad about this Hog herd that's gotten your tail in a bunch?" Applejack asked. She'd fought plenty of Hogs, and none of them were exactly enough to spark alarm in ponies, let alone Space Mareines.
"One word: Trotta." Macintosh said, narrowing his eyes.
Even Rarity froze up, and other Mareines getting into their power armor immediately turned their heads to stare at their Chapter Master. "A Trotta? You don't mean 'the most powerful vehicle in the Hog arsenal' kind of Trotta, right?" Rarity asked, in shock.
"The same."
Rarity fainted with a squeal, which brought a smile to Applejack's face as she got up from her seat and over to her power armor's container. She quickly went to work equipping herself, sliding her bolter into her armor's sidelatch. She trotted over to Macintosh, a look of determination in her green eyes.
"Let's make those Hogs wish they were never sporks."
Same Day
On Hog planet Chogga
Rainbow Dash groaned in irritation as her bright-red bike came to a screeching halt, smoke pouring from the engine. "Ah shoot! I told Chubb ta fix me engin', paid 'im two teef to do it, n' it breaks apart the sec'nd I hit da zoggin' go-pedal! I'll club 'm real good fer this won, hurr hurr." The cyan pegasus chuckled heartily in an accent thick with saliva (typical to the alien inhabitants of Chogga) as she dismounted her bike and inspected the engine for a minute or so. "Stupid peez o' junk!" She grimaced before kicking it, which amazingly got the bike to start working again. She grinned and got back on the back, hitting the 'go-pedal' and zooming off toward her clan's village.
Stopping in front of her hut, she trotted down the path to the local pub. She could really go for some fungus cidar. Pushing open the front door, the bartender Frootjoos bellowed out a greeting. "Oi, Rehnbo! Ova 'ere!" He gave her a tusked smile, which she returned - only without tusks.
"Fungus cida, Joos. Day's bin ruff." Rainbow ordered, sitting down at the counter. The Hog nodded, adjusted his seeing lenses, and then poured a glass of a greenish liquid, popped in a straw and pushed it to her. She started to suck at the straw, the sour yet warm beverage hitting her tongue and making her quiver.
"Ahh, da good stuffs. Nun o' dat zoggin 'oggit wizz dey try n' sell at de pub on 'urgaf's turf!" She laughed at her own joke, earning the chuckle of her fellow Hogs.
"Wut you say 'bout me clan's cida?" Growled a nearby Hog.
Rainbow looked over at him and smirked. "I called it 'oggit whiz, ya git. Hurr hurr hurr!" She once again heard her friends roar with laughter, and a roar of rage from the Hog she insulted. He stood up, and she sized him up. Big fella, for a Hog at least. About 3/4 her height, and almost twice as wide. His fur was dark green with black hairs here and there. His tusks were huge, and his ear had a large bite in it. He snorted, a puff of steam shooting from his nostrils.
"All right, itz on!" He roared before charging. "SQUEEEEEEE!"
"SQUEEEEEEE!" Rainbow hollered back before charging, head lowered to the ground. She picked up speed quickly, and by the time they collided, she had reached rainbow speed, becoming a blur of many colors. The Hog was knocked so far back he crashed through the pub's back wall, landing on a pile of bricks in a daze.
"N' dat my frenz," Rainbow said before sitting back down and sipping her cidar. "Iz how Rehnbo dashez."
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Rainbow Dash should have red power armor and vehicles and such. Because red ones go fasta.
1899520
I do believe I mentioned her bike being red. I'm well aware of the 'Red Paint-Job' upgrade, and will use it a lot in the future when dealing with Hogs.
1899544
ah. I must have missed that. fair enough.
One minor suggestion: instead of Hogs, call them Hogz, make them sound nice and Orky! Love their version of Waaagh!!! Very fitting.
DEEZE ORKZ SEEMZ RIOGHT ORKY TO ME! WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Orkz iz made 4 rokkin, roight?
1899800
In the original draft I called them Hogz, but it just felt weird whenever ponies said it, so I decided to let only the Hogs themselves use the z.
Btw, Hoggits are the equivalent of Gretchin. Forgot to mention that.