“I wouldn't be so sure of that,” she said with an eerie tone of certainty “there are some spells and potions, although very arcane, that could possibly alter genetic material, manipulating it to ones desires. Something along the lines of transmogrification, only grander and much harder to do in this case. Essentially turning you into a pony.” she added with worry, a look of concern coming across her face.
“Look,” I said, taking on a more serious tone “although the whole 'pregnancy' idea is oddly interesting to me, and turning into a pony might be fun, I just need some dating advice. And your thoughts and feelings about inter-species relationships.”
Please, please, please just no!. Why does it always come to this. Why can't it ever be that it is just the sperm cells that get changed, and not the whole species?! Please do not change him into a pony.
My rant aside, this was a good chapter. Especially like the ending. Hope that ass of a stallian won't cause too much trouble.
2103208 I have a thread in HiE where I asked opinions about Humans making foals. Don't worry, I won't let it come to having Jason turned into a pony. That's one cliche that just irks me to no extent.
Why can't it ever be that it is just the sperm cells that get changed, and not the whole species?!
Your insight here ^ has opened my mind to that very thought. I'll have to jot down a few ideas on this subject, and see where I can take this, to possibly make it happen (a potion from Zecora, perhaps?); It would definitely make for a good solid end point to the romantic storyline
That is good to hear. Thank you for letting me know.
Glad that you like that idea. It seems just about everyone else can't even fathom it. I only seen one story that did that. Virtually everyone else that have not not able to reproduce either change the human into a pony, or humanize the pony love interest. It is anoying.
Well anyway, looking forward to the next chapter. Good luck with all of your endeavors.
2103736 Yes. Both seem a bit rushed. Take some time and slow thing down, describe em a bit. Oh, and I think I noticed a few grammatical errors in there too. I'm from "Overly-Extensive Editors" by the way.
2103856 Well shoot you didn't have to do all that. I would have loved to read how he explained 'morning wood' to Fleur. And besides, he's to honorable to take advantage of a lady.
2104956 I have a few members from "Overly Extensive Editors" (myself included) hammering out all the SNAFUs and FUBARs, to get the pacing down right, as well as a few grammatical errors I made. It's a long process, but I'm learning from it!
You know, when you put that about the bright light, I thought it was a paparazzi that got the perfect picture. Oh boy, when Jason return to ponyville his landlady will not let him heard the end of it. By the way, soon did we will see him entering the army?
Comment posted by oldtimeydude deleted Mar 19th, 2013
2106657 Don't be so harsh on yourself, you can still save your story, please don't remove it, their maybe are a lot of stories like that but, you are the first in with is Fleur the interest. Tell you what, I will send you a PM with some ammo of what you can do, to save the story and give you some ideas. Please don't erase this, it fell it has potential.
2137030 Thank you!! There will be plenty of emotional ups and downs, I can guarantee. I'm working some PTSD into it as well. Gotta have some personal conflict!
2143487 Ah, oh cool that will solidify that he is from the army (By the way, you by any chance work in the army?) I had heart that sometimes is hard for soldiers to settle down or keep they relationships do to the fact that their partners will continue to be worried that the next mission they go will be their last.
2143521 I'm former Army Aviation, used to fix these: enemyforces.net/helicopters/ch47_chinook.jpg And I've known a few of my old Army buddies that have had their significant others leave them, due to the stress of having to deal with the military lifestyle. It's definitely not for everyone
2143549 I can imagine, and flying those helicopters, must have being tricky, especially under enemy air. That is the same plane that your character crash in Equestria?
2143736 Holy crap that is a giant Gatling gun, how that didn't explode during the crash? For the matter, what Celestia did with all the missiles and ammunitions that were still in the helicopter? You couldn't left everything there, that thing could exploded and harm any living thing in the close proximity
2143825 The larger pod on the outside is for 2.75" rockets; the gun is on the inside portion (Dillon M134D) I won't divulge anything, so you'll just have to wait and read for yourself...
2143895 Got it, I can't belived that for 4 chapter I completely skip the whole weapons implications. Oh I still hoped that you put my suggestion of the magazine PONY, he defeating Blood in sexys pony of the century, will be so hilarious
2143910 I actually think I'm going to use your magazine idea in the next chapter, in a confrontation with Rarity... (remember the massage she hinted about?)
2143942 Oh this should will be interesting, I hoped Fleur will be the first, its only fair that is he going to start doing massages the first one be his marefriend
2160272 I really like your story, if you don´t mine giving you a little sugestion.
Be careful with doing a Gary Stu character. Your character is "nice, attractive for the mares, gentle, kind, he knows military selfdefense, and it appears to be a really good chef" maybe the last one was more of a compliment from Fleur than anything, not saying he is bad in the kitchen, but be careful making him too perfect.
Next time we read a chapter, he is going to ride a manticore against an army of changeling, beat the crap out of every single one and then have a night of passion and love with Fleur
Just saying, this is your story, and you can do wherever you want, thought.
Please, please, please just no!. Why does it always come to this. Why can't it ever be that it is just the sperm cells that get changed, and not the whole species?! Please do not change him into a pony.
My rant aside, this was a good chapter. Especially like the ending.
Hope that ass of a stallian won't cause too much trouble.
Ah, slow burning romance... I love it!
Who else wouldnt be surprised if Slipstream made a mini-storm right over Fleur's apartment to make him stay?
2103208
I have a thread in HiE where I asked opinions about Humans making foals.
Don't worry, I won't let it come to having Jason turned into a pony. That's one cliche that just irks me to no extent.
Your insight here ^ has opened my mind to that very thought. I'll have to jot down a few ideas on this subject, and see where I can take this, to possibly make it happen (a potion from Zecora, perhaps?); It would definitely make for a good solid end point to the romantic storyline
2103224
That's why I alluded to it in his thoughts
The game is afoot!
SWEET!! Can't wait to see where this is going!
2103250
I don't think i have seen that tread.
That is good to hear. Thank you for letting me know.
Glad that you like that idea. It seems just about everyone else can't even fathom it. I only seen one story that did that. Virtually everyone else that have not not able to reproduce either change the human into a pony, or humanize the pony love interest. It is anoying.
Well anyway, looking forward to the next chapter.
Good luck with all of your endeavors.
This gives me a lot to think about when I take my girlfriend out. I'm loving the developing chemistry with these two.johnjoseco.deviantart.com/art/More-of-Dat-Unicorn-272228376
This seems kinda rushed.
2103705
The chapter, or the story?
2103736 Yes. Both seem a bit rushed. Take some time and slow thing down, describe em a bit. Oh, and I think I noticed a few grammatical errors in there too. I'm from "Overly-Extensive Editors" by the way.
2103791
This is my first ever creative piece, so I know I'm bound to fall on my face at some point. In this case, all points.
2103258
... Did I totally miss that??!!
2103943
2103975
.......... sonuva bitch.......
2103988
Just noticed I'll have to change "of" to "in".
And here I thought I was good with grammar...
2103975
A conspiracy at work...
One one typo could I find transpiring, were you had transposed.
Just please slow it down.
2103856 Well shoot you didn't have to do all that. I would have loved to read how he explained 'morning wood' to Fleur. And besides, he's to honorable to take advantage of a lady.
2104956
I have a few members from "Overly Extensive Editors" (myself included) hammering out all the SNAFUs and FUBARs, to get the pacing down right, as well as a few grammatical errors I made. It's a long process, but I'm learning from it!
You know, when you put that about the bright light, I thought it was a paparazzi that got the perfect picture.
Oh boy, when Jason return to ponyville his landlady will not let him heard the end of it.
By the way, soon did we will see him entering the army?
2106657
Don't be so harsh on yourself, you can still save your story, please don't remove it, their maybe are a lot of stories like that but, you are the first in with is Fleur the interest.
Tell you what, I will send you a PM with some ammo of what you can do, to save the story and give you some ideas. Please don't erase this, it fell it has potential.
I cannot describe how amazing this story is in words, so instead, i'll just use this
2110437
Thank you!
I can't see the video due to the stupid firewall here at work , but I'll be sure to watch it when I get home.
EDIT: Finally watched it. Awesome! I hope there's more to that song, because I really want to download it now!
2137030
Thank you!!
There will be plenty of emotional ups and downs, I can guarantee. I'm working some PTSD into it as well. Gotta have some personal conflict!
I see that you change the story as incomplete again, those that mean that a new chapter will come up soon?
2143163
Yessir! Working on it in between editing for others.
2143278
Sweet, I really hoped that the chapter when he search job as a guard is coming soon
2143281
It is planned for the next chapter, plus I'm adding some PTSD moments as well for mental conflict
2143322
PTSD?
2143427
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
2143487
Ah, oh cool that will solidify that he is from the army (By the way, you by any chance work in the army?) I had heart that sometimes is hard for soldiers to settle down or keep they relationships do to the fact that their partners will continue to be worried that the next mission they go will be their last.
I wonder if it is true
2143521
I'm former Army Aviation, used to fix these:
enemyforces.net/helicopters/ch47_chinook.jpg
And I've known a few of my old Army buddies that have had their significant others leave them, due to the stress of having to deal with the military lifestyle. It's definitely not for everyone
2143549
I can imagine, and flying those helicopters, must have being tricky, especially under enemy air. That is the same plane that your character crash in Equestria?
2143641
Unfortunately, I wasn't a pilot just a crew member/mechanic
And the helicopter I alluded to in my story was like this one:
i61.photobucket.com/albums/h80/mwolfe_01/AH-6M.jpg
2143736
Holy crap that is a giant Gatling gun, how that didn't explode during the crash? For the matter, what Celestia did with all the missiles and ammunitions that were still in the helicopter? You couldn't left everything there, that thing could exploded and harm any living thing in the close proximity
2143825
The larger pod on the outside is for 2.75" rockets; the gun is on the inside portion (Dillon M134D)
I won't divulge anything, so you'll just have to wait and read for yourself...
2143825
That's all I'll allude to right now...
2143895
Got it, I can't belived that for 4 chapter I completely skip the whole weapons implications. Oh I still hoped that you put my suggestion of the magazine PONY, he defeating Blood in sexys pony of the century, will be so hilarious
2143910
I actually think I'm going to use your magazine idea in the next chapter, in a confrontation with Rarity... (remember the massage she hinted about?)
2143942
Oh this should will be interesting, I hoped Fleur will be the first, its only fair that is he going to start doing massages the first one be his marefriend
wow. LOTS of Clopfics coming out recently.
2160264
And surprisingly, this story doesn't have clop yet.
I'm trying to do clop with a plot, and hoping it bodes well.
2160272 I really like your story, if you don´t mine giving you a little sugestion.
Be careful with doing a Gary Stu character. Your character is "nice, attractive for the mares, gentle, kind, he knows military selfdefense, and it appears to be a really good chef" maybe the last one was more of a compliment from Fleur than anything, not saying he is bad in the kitchen, but be careful making him too perfect.
Next time we read a chapter, he is going to ride a manticore against an army of changeling, beat the crap out of every single one and then have a night of passion and love with Fleur
Just saying, this is your story, and you can do wherever you want, thought.
Keep up the good work.
2164157
All I'll say is... PTSD
huh... One of the few Military HiE stories that aren't overly focused on the military life/combat.
I like it!