Authors Note: Sequels
The story continues in "The Moon, the Draconequus, and the Sands of Saddle Arabia"
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/119898/the-moon-the-draconequus-and-the-sands-of-saddle-arabia
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yes... yes.... Yes.... GAWD DAMN IT YES!?!
HUZZAH! The fun has been doubled!
:WE NEED A LUNA EMOTICON DANGIT!:
I may have not been reading this story when it began or even when it was still in motion, so this may be a bit late.
But, this really is a proper story.
These things are way to rare on this site filled with fic's and chapters.
Anyway, i would like to say that i loved this ride, i enjoyed this story a lot, there are not that many stories that i already have read that i enjoyed as much as this one.
I am sure that i will enjoy the sequal just as much as this one.
Happy writings and have fun~
2990654 Glad that you enjoyed it. ^^
2990780
Myeah, also i'm busy with the sequal and, well i sure do like Discord.
You pulled him off rather nicely.
YES
3229655 Maybe!!!
Absolutely Charming!
That's my short description anyway. To be honest this may take a while so if you can't be bothered to read it all (understandably) then please stop here and take the two words above as my full review!
Where to begin... Oh yes, I read the entire story in one go, I was meant to be somewhere important today but like the softy I am I remained at my computer. I really enjoyed it, enthralling I must say! (still my day is ruined, thank you very much!)
Apart from a few mistakes and misplaced words here and there I found the entire thing to be rather elegant, the time you spent on this can only ever be rewarded by how much your readers enjoyed your work and personally I think you achieved a lot.
The characters felt real in terms of relation to the show, the eerie quality of the Changeling City was only matched by the fuzzy feeling that was frequent throughout the entire story. You managed to succeed in giving my mind quite a stir!
Really I'm more focused upon romance with a deep story and although yes the romance was set aside often what spread out between it was a play of intrigue that captured my attention.
The feelings were sweet and the attention to detail you put into the focus of your story made the entire thing worth reading, even if the ending had of been poor I would have congratulated you... I actually liked the ending so don't get me wrong, I just mean to say the story in-between was superb!
I loved the ideas here, they give way to so many more paths and the addition of Luna and Discord at the end reminded me all too much of a certain English comedy writer of some fame.
I could go on all day about all the little things I loved about this story but instead I shall only point out one more (because at the end of the day you've probably heard it all already!)
Insta-Liked and Faved!
All in all I think I will be reading more of your stories, you made your promises and you didn't disappoint!
Thank you!
3375216 Thanks a lot for the review. Glad you enjoyed it. ^^
No story has been longer on my Read Later.list than this one. It must've easily been three months.
Well, now that I've finally started reading this I can only say I regret waiting so long. I've only read the first chapter and already know I will love this story!
My only complaint is the somewhat poor editing (especially when it comes to punctuation), but I'm sure I can deal with that.
3741734 Thank you for pointing these things out to me, but here are two pieces of advice:
1. Before you try to correct something ask yourself wether the "wrong" form may serve some narrative purpose.
2. Something which I got taught sometime during my first two years of school: If you want to give constructive criticism, start out with something nice, e.g.
"I really liked reading your story so far, but you made a few grammatical mistakes in some places..."
This might seem like pointless politness, but people will be more willing to accept what you say, depending on how you phrase it.
4773780 Hey, thanks for all the comments. ^^
4936953 All questions are postponed until after you have finished the required reading (or in other words: keep reading).
Okay, review time!
So this story was nice. Had it's ups and downs, but it was good. Although I do think some parts could've been explained better, I have no gripes with the plot or the characters. In fact, I think you balanced their actions/reactions rather well considering the situations thrown at them.
This is the first Chrysalis/Celestia story I've ever read, and it was fun! Rarely were the jokes bad, and it brought some very possible situations to light. The ending was bittersweet, and I think it fit.
So yeah: 3/5! You get a
!
I'm going to sit down and read this over the weekend at some point- likely while neck deep in a box of wine.
I saw the most recent comment about spelling errors, and I might be able to help with that to some extent. I'm not perfect, but I'm usually pretty good at catching spelling issues, so if you'd like I can compile a list of any such things while I read and send it to you afterwards.
If you'd like, of course.
5028280 To be honest, atm I can barely muster the motivation to write something; I don't think I will trudge through all of my spelling errors in the near future. :P
Hope you can enjoy this anyway. ^^
As others already pointed out: Quite a few mistakes, yadda yadda.
It reeeaaally earned it's 'comedy'-tag over and over again. There were just so many hilariously funny moments, lines, whole scenes... just wow. I probably would've asked if there's a chance for a sequel if you hadn't said about it yourself, since Luna and Discord vanished for most of the passing time. And we still don't know who that grey stallion in Twilights mindscape was, do we?
)
This story... was awesome!
It felt a lot like the Canterlot Wedding-episode - intended, I suppose? -, and it was quite a funny ride to draw parallels. You did a marvelous job with your portrayal of Tia and Chrysalis (and for that matter, the mane six, too). And yaaay - someone who doesn't treat poor Spike like s**t. Thank you for that! It was actually rather nice to follow his little adventure around. Speaking of adventure, maybe you should tag it as that, too...?
That little piece of world-building when you granted us a peek into changeling-society and Chrysalis mind and behavior was a feast for my never-satisfied, world-building-hungry mind!
The the next word to be said with enough smug grin plastered all over my face, I shall adjust my shipping goggles for my favorite couple...: AppleDash. Yeah.
Anyway - though I really love happy endings too, there were two things bugging me. (They're still at it, actually.) First one would be Breadn. I really liked that stallion and I really was happy for him that he got his chance to shine - but he wasn't as swept up in the moment as the others. Actually, when everything came crushing down, he tried to get away from those crazed ones. It just doesn't feel right when he's the one standing before Celestia, facing her and her wrath and trying to apologize on behalf of those stupid-heads. I'm probably way too unforgiving myself here, but if they don't have the guts to pony up and apologize themselves, if they need someone who wasn't nearly as outraged and blinded as they were, then maybe they deserve to be a little more than just scorched.
And second thingy, while we're at the whole 'probably too unforgiving'-part... what were the names of those two a**holes? Silver Tongue and Pristine Record? Something like that? And they got away. Just like that. Midway through all those nice, beautiful happy endings, that part let my anger flare up instantly. (And then came that part about Luna trying to kill Discord and my anger was replaced by pure confusion and soft giggling. Don't now why I was giggling, though - the mere thought of being hunted by an outraged, scythe-wielding Luna could easily scare me to death if I would be sleeping and dream about that stuff. Then again, some part of me is trying to convince me that it can't be that bad, being near Luna - even if she's trying to kill me.
There's one thing though, that I wanted to thank you for the most. There were two chapters, relatively early on, when princess Celestia marched into Chrysalis' capital city and the one thereafter. You linked some really creepy music to go with it - and it worked. After reading a few hundred tales, those two chapters were the first ones to give me goose bumps. You managed to create a frightening experience. The tension built up steadily, slowly, as if the reader - me, in that case - would be one of those Crystal Knights, walking vast and empty streets where the roar of battle should have been. After those hilarious first chapters, that was a rather depressing, dark and downright creepy atmosphere - and I loved it! I usually don't read anything tagged as 'dark', with reason, but as some sort of breathing break from all that giggling and laughing? It was quite welcome.
All that being said, it was a wonderful experience.
Thank you!
5671350 *Falls over backwards as he runs into the wall of text* oO
5696274
Uhhh... sorry...?
Nice Story sad that the Sequel is on hiatus, but maybe one day .....
1885611 Yes, because the opinions of only 19 outweigh five hundred likes.
That was a shockingly bad ending for a good story.
There were soooooo many grammar errors, but it was a pleasant read. Now to find another diamond in the rough...
9382045
Yes. Yes it does. She's incredibly powerful and dangerously neurotic (Want It Need It spell, anyone?).
9804844
You're not counting the spell that she created when she was eight that pretty much allows her to manipulate any ponies mind to however she wants them to be. as part of this story that pretty much makes her far more dangerous than any pony in Equestria.
10698995
Exactly
Well, still a nice read the third time around.
1885946
so what's the term for the husband of a knight, then?