Sequels1

  • E Triptych

    What does it mean to be a pony? A ruler? A god?  · Daetrin
    52,001 words · 5,310 views  ·  874  ·  10  · 

Featured In37

More Stories3

  • E Off The Edge Of The Map

    Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy journey through unknown lands.
    34,894 words · 16,425 views  ·  1,524  ·  20
  • E Triptych

    What does it mean to be a pony? A ruler? A god?
    52,001 words · 5,310 views  ·  874  ·  10
  • T Cartography of War

    A tiny slice of the great gryphon-pony war.
    49,879 words · 3,665 views  ·  117  ·  2

Blog Posts109

  • 1w, 1d
    Apotheosis audiobook chap 6 up.


    As always, Ilya Leonov and Scribbler do a fantastic job.  

    2 comments · 58 views
  • 4w, 2d
    On Artifacts

    I'll be honest, I don't much like 'em.  Kind of a silly thing to say when the first three seasons of MLP had the Elements of Harmony hanging around in the background, but it's still true. Now, this more applies in specific than in general.  A single Item Of Power can be a useful narrative tool, and in fact often is.  It's usually a MacGuffin but they have a long and noble history.  But when you start introducing many of them, that's when I have issues.

    First of all, the more objects of power you have the more you're taking away from your characters.  You're offloading their agency onto inanimate objects, their value onto something that exists independent of a person's drive and interests.  What makes a person special should be their personhood, not that they happen to possess an Infinity Gem. Not that you can't actually write something where that's true, it's just as you introduce more and more it gets harder and harder.

    The other thing is that the more objects of power you put into the setting, the closer it slides to Lovecraft.  When you have many, many objects and items that are incredibly powerful, you're starting to build a world where there are far too many threats for it to be at all stable.  Now, I like Ask The Night Guards as much as the next guy, but that's exactly the kind of world that bothers me.  Even played for comedy, you're edging into territory where ordinary people are no more than victims.

    Again, it works with a single instance, because that's a story where the issues are resolved.  But as you construct a universe where there's this constant low-level background horror of innumerable instances of artifacts of doom, you're making a place where things can never be resolved.

    20 comments · 241 views
  • 4w, 6d
    On diplomacy and war

    I've noticed that, of late, the feature box has held a bunch of stories having to do with diplomacy and war.  This is of some interest to me, given that I am currently writing a bit about war.

    My problem is that these stories generally don't give anyone a fair shake.  Yes, I think that ponies generally have advantages when it comes to war.  But that doesn't mean that everything is going to be (or should be) a curbstomp.  On either side.  When it comes to war, we're missing a few things...

    One is that each race has, presumably, its own skills and talents.  Diamond dogs seem to be able to travel through earth as easily as over the earth.  Think about how important sappers were to warfare, and consider that talent.  Gryphons are pointy on five out of six ends and every single one of them can fly.  We don't know much about Zebras or Saddle Arabians but we can presume they have their own specialties.  

    There's also the fact that they are different races. For humans, when you invade, you end up marrying the locals, your culture mixes with theirs...in three or four generations there's just people.  That...doesn't work with Equestria.   There is no integration.  If you invade, you are either waging a war or extermination or enslavement.  There are a few other options, but you're just begging for revolts regardless.

    So overall, a serious clash between two species is going to be a terrible and terrifying thing.

    As for diplomacy. Celestia is over a thousand years old.  She has probably spent more time in negotiations than most rulers or diplomats have been alive.  Celestia is going to be very good at it.  And she's going to take it seriously.  It's not a game.  Hundreds or thousands of people, whether they're hers or others, might die if she doesn't handle it right.  I realize a lot of these stories were written to be amusing, but...they're sort of fridge horror in that aspect.

    37 comments · 264 views
  • 5w, 1d
    Pony scifi

    Bit of a signal boost here: Outside The Reaching Sky.

    It's a good story overall (fair warning: you're going to get hella annoyed around the middle of it, but you're supposed to, so take that on faith), but what really shines is the pony technology.  Dear lord the pony technology.  It is utterly amazing and if I ever do a far-future Apotheverse thing I will beg Karazor for the ability to steal from this universe.  There are so many little details that make this pony scifi, not just scifi with ponies.  The differences in how the tribes interact with it, the fusion of Equestrian magic and classical scifi technology.  The different ways the Mane Six interact with said tech, even.  It goes beyond the source ideas of scifi and really applies them in fun and unique ways.  Definite recommend, and hey, he's supposedly making a sequel!

    8 comments · 199 views
  • 6w, 2d
    What do you find objectionable in a story?

    This is a followup to a previous blog post, since I saw a lot of people saying they thumbs downed offensive or objectionable stories.

    To me, what I consider objectionable in a story falls into a few categories.

    -Malicious OOC (Character Assassination): Celestia is most often targeted by this, but I see it in Twi, too.  Characters made OOC not through any lack of talent on the writer (characterization is hard!) but because they specifically want to write a story about how stupid/evil/awful these characters are.  For some reason people seem to think that these characters couldn't possibly be actually good people.  No, Celestia has to be secretly an evil ruler that exercises mind control to the extreme, and Twilight indifferent to the welfare of others to the point of being a magical Mengele.  I give comedy stories a bit of a pass, but only a bit, because you can write comedy without reducing ponies to three-stooges slapstick.

    -Postmodernism:  Some of you probably have no idea what that means, and some of you are probably rolling your eyes.  I'll try to explain.  In postmodernism, the noble virtues do not exist.  People are not kind or loyal or selfless.  They're only selfish and self-interested.  Not evil per se but incapable of greatness.  And the world is devoid of wonder.  Everything sucks forever, even if it's not actually a dystopia.  This has been sort of the normal status quo of fiction for the past decade or two and it's really, really annoying.  And completely opposite to a magical world where friendship is magic.

    -Ponies are evil: For some reason there's an entire set of "Ponies enslave humans" and the like.  This is sort of the character assassination above, but applied to the whole setting.  Conversion bureau apparently is like this?   Regardless, it's completely disregarding the setting to make something that seems like a form of revenge porn against a setting that makes them feel inadequately virtuous.  They can't live up to it, so they have to drag it down.

    While I personally don't read dark much, I don't object to it in theory.  It Spills Over is a wonderful Dark story that absolutely still fits, for example.  And my own stories have plenty of content that could be considered pretty dark, at least in passing.  But so does the canon - Chrysalis and Tirek are pretty terrifying.  It's not a shiny happy nothing-ever-goes-wrong world.  There are dangers and terrors.  But they get overcome.

    42 comments · 329 views
  • ...
 375
 18,258

This story is a sequel to Off The Edge Of The Map

When Twilight is sent with Luna on a diplomatic mission to Draconia, they quickly find themselves somewhere that doesn't appear on any map, and Luna is lost in more than one way...

Thanks to RBDash47 of Pony Fiction Archive for formatting it for submission.

Title image by Valcron

Now with audiobook goodness by Illya Leonov!  See what's been done here.

First Published
17th Jan 2012
Last Modified
17th Jan 2012
#1 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Glad to see this pop up here on FiMFiction! I've been meaning to give it a read. I'll add it to my Tracking list as a reminder. :)  Love your work.

#2 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Oh. My. Gosh. It's on Fimfiction.

It's like the second New Year this year, mixed with Christmas... only better!

[Favourited, 5/5, watch, tracking]

#3 · 144w, 2d ago · 1 · · Epilogue ·

Holy shitting dick nipples, who woulda thought this fic would make it here! Bout time. A good ol romp through the surreal, the sublime, and the abjectly horrible, and with a blooming romance to boot. Really, I can't rate this anything other than five stars.

#4 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Woot, loved reading it on EqD, gonna have to re-read it here at some point. :twilightsmile:

My stars, take them all :rainbowlaugh:

#5 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I read this on Equestria Daily, and loved it. It's one of my favourite fics.

Five stars!

UFB
#6 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Got to say, not been reading fan fiction much, just the last few days trying to catch up with all of the great stuff, but this is by far my favorite story so far, great work!

#7 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Sweet mother of God Apotheosis is on fimfiction! This is one of my favourite adventure fics ever written. I loved every second of it and I can't wait to read it again! Keep up the fantastic work!

#8 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I loved this story when I first read it and I love it now. It doesn't get the attention it deserves. I hope to see more from you at some point in the future, because it's a pleasure to read.

#9 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Hmm.

Saw this was on here, was surprised. Didn't expect this, but it's still good regardless!

#10 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I already read this a while back so let me just count up your stars, there five stars.

:heart:

#11 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Glad to see this one on here, will you ever write up a sequel?

#12 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Read this on eqd, awesome fic o/

#13 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

:yay:, it is here!

#14 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I just finished reading the whole thing!

Epic.

#15 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

twiluna ship?

#16 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Good to see this fic make it onto FiM Fiction.

#17 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

one of my old favs!

#18 · 144w, 2d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Just finished the whole thing. :twilightsmile:

I love it and easily deserve the 5 stars.

#19 · 144w, 2d ago · 1 · · Wind Shadows ·

Go magically epic Twilight!

#20 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I loved this story. Good to see people putting there art here for more people to enjoy. :)

#21 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Apothesis is on Fimfiction? Yes, please!

#22 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Two famous stories posted on FIMFiction on the same day?

The buck?

#23 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I doubt Apotheosis is famous...

Anyhow, I kinda-sorta want to make a sequel but 1) I don't have the time at the moment and 2) All I can think of for it is how messed up Luna and Tia are emotionally, which is considerably heavier than what is implied by the epilogue.

#24 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Hmm, read this a while ago and had a kind of issue. The ending seemed to be very much of a dues ex machinma. Celestia shows up and says "lol, kidding. I was behind it all the time!" and everyone just instantly forgives her. They don't get angry, or hell even mildly irked.

#25 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

>>138279

The real fallout would appear in the sequel, yes, if I ever get around to writing it.

The fact that there isn't serious issue in Apotheosis is A) I didn't really have room for it and B) They're both riding a weird dual emotional/divinity high.  That sort of manipulation is pretty poisonous for a relationship overall though and at the very least Luna and Tia need an emotional confrontation and catharsis.  On the other hand, I don't know if Twilight is capable of thinking ill about Celestia.

#26 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

>>138307

Sounds to me like she'd play an excellent role of an anguished mediator then! Torn between her girlfriend and adored mentor :).

Either way I'll jump at a chance to read it should you ever write it.

Also: You're horrible for teaching me new words :P. I mean, "liminality", "quiescent" and "theopneusty". It's certainly words I hadn't come across before this fic. Well, quiescent sounds familiar, but the others are new.

#27 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

5 stars

#28 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

>>138307

You're making me want to beg annoyingly for a sequel more with every mention. The thought of real consequences to the end of this story is really appealing.

I can imagine Twilight would be torn between her love of Celestia and her feelings of protectiveness toward Luna. Though honestly, I can see her having every right to be very irritated by her mentor. Knowing Twilight though, not even she knows the extent of her feelings until it all explodes at once. With her newfound power, it probably won't be a quiet and private affair, either.

Luna... I imagine she's a wreck at the moment. I mean, she's definitely stepping in the right direction, but the mare has issues. I wanna give her a hug for most of this work. I think living and being accepted in Ponyville would go a long way, though.

#29 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

That was wonderful, but I hate you now Daetrin. I sat in one spot for like 6 straight hours reading (I'm a slow reader) and now I don't want to move. :ajsleepy:

Lol, JK, anyway, it was really good, and I'd love to see a sequel if you ever wrote one. It had me interested throughout the entire story, and that is definitely something to be proud of. 5 stars, nice work. Please write a sequel, because I'd love to read it. :ajsmug:

#30 · 144w, 1d ago · · · What Rough Beast ·

The methods of speech you have come up with in this story are fascinating and well done--not unlike the story itself. Keep up the good work!

#31 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

I just spent my entire Monday reading that.  :rainbowderp:

Best Monday of my life!  :rainbowkiss:

#32 · 144w, 1d ago · 1 · · Wind Shadows ·

I can't wait to see if in this story and the actual show if Twi' turns out to be a goddess. That would be amazing and make sense.

#33 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

too me the luna and twilight coming to terms with their relationship seems rushed, and i can undertsand how there was buildup and how life or death situations tend to accelerate relationships. But i still think it's somewhat of an akward transition from luna more or less fearing twilight to becoming her girlfriend...

otherwise, really solid story, dont like the ominous celestia comment at the end, when celestia smiles like that, some poor fool was trolled. And i think you could have an interesting sequel going for you if you ever decide to milk this ratings cow series for all its worth, i know i wouldn't complain!

#34 · 144w, 1d ago · 1 · · Wind Shadows ·

>>139366

Well, 'apotheosis' is the process of raising an individual into godhood...

#35 · 144w, 1d ago · 8 · · Centuries of Stony Sleep ·

Those are the four stars that freed Nightmare Moon, aren't they.

#36 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Things Fall Apart ·

awesome

#37 · 144w, 1d ago · 1 · · What Rough Beast ·

Yay, a new vocabulary word! :twilightsmile: For anybody wondering, a 'theopneusty' is a divine revelation.

#38 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

o__o If a sequel ever happens....Twi needs wings. :pinkiecrazy:

Honestly, this is probably my favorite part of the entire story, with the glass-ish(?) clock, and the shifting distances. Seems so surreal, but so sensible at the same time. I know that might be a bit confusing, but that's just the way it is.

Overall, this is one of the best fics I've read, and five stars to you when I login. :pinkiesmile:

#40 · 144w, 1d ago · · · The Center Cannot Hold ·

So far, I am enjoying it very much. Love the mythology you are weaving into it.

But it could be better. When I begin reading each chapter, your writing is preparing me for a long, enjoyable ride. But then, it ends. I feel as though I've missed something, like there are paragraphs and whole scenes that have been omitted. I hate to compare stories, but in my opinion, in this story I should be reading something with around the length of the chapters from End of Ponies. Which happens to be one of my favorites.

Advice I would have for you is to be more descriptive, add more content and expand on the situations the characters find themselves in. More introspection, less rushing emotions. This certainly is a good story so far, don't get me wrong. But with more work, it could become quite epic.

Of course, these are only my initial musings. We'll see how things turn out.

#41 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Already read it all from EqD. You already get 5 stars from me. Epic Twiluna story is EPIC.:twilightsmile:

#42 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

This is the first Twiluna I've read, and now I'm addicted to Twilunas! Awesome fic too.

#43 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

Wow, I can't believe I forgot to mention that this was a sequel to Off The Edge Of The Map.  I guess I didn't think about the fact that didn't translate into the new formatting.

#44 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Things Fall Apart ·

i feel like i saw an aliens reference here XD

anyway... i've only read the first chapter and i'm a bit puzzled about something... luna said she still love celestia? then why did i get the feeling of everything else luna did and said more or less told me she hated her guts? perhaps luna was just lying to herself to make herself feel better about something? i dunno...

#45 · 144w, 1d ago · · · Epilogue ·

>>140284

Luna's in a bad place.

#46 · 144w, 23h ago · · · The Center Cannot Hold ·

Wandering around in a dead land with its destroyer is a pretty powerful image. I also liked the characterization of Luna and Twilight's relationship. Great stuff so far.

#47 · 144w, 23h ago · · · The Center Cannot Hold ·

an interesting chapter, i guess with enough time to think and reflect everyone would come to see more clearly on ones own actions if they have nothing else they can do. but i must admit i almost find this tozo more interesting than the rest of the char so far and i would have liked to know more about him and the people that he destroyed and why. onward to chapter 3!

#48 · 144w, 21h ago · 1 · · Centuries of Stony Sleep ·

Ouroboros will be released into the atmosphere, ensuring complete

global

saturation

:pinkiecrazy:

yeah okay... i didn't quite understand the ending, so celestia built a machine that could control the moon for all that time luna was trapped on the moon? and what was with that memory transfer thing? i guess i'll find out in a later chapter. but on its own a few things didn't make to much sense in this chapter.

#50 · 144w, 19h ago · · · To Be Born ·

For anypony that wonders, when they are talking about Everfree Forest it refers (loosely) to the events of http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/06/story-sun-doth-not-shine-moon-doth-not.html, which is not on FiMFiction.

0 7335 22100
Login or register to comment