With his first move, the man stepped heavily onto the downed unicorn, knocking the breath from its lungs, while also using it as a springboard to dive further into the crowd. Hands outstretched, Alfonz tackled the second unicorn just as its horn began to glow, slamming the mare against the wall opposite to the doorway while knocking many ponies aside in the process.
If nothing else, his decision to attack his pursuers benefited from the element of surprise. The ponies really did not expect him to open the door, let alone jump into their midst. It took them quite some time to recover from this, allowing Alfonz to briefly disrupt his most pressing adversaries. After his initial strike, however, the mob began to regain its composure and launched its own attack.
“Bring him down!” one of the mares cried as she tackled the man’s shoulders, wrapping her hooves around his neck to try and topple him over. He knew that, should they succeed in bringing him down to their level, he would stand little chance.
And this wasn’t a suicidal last stand. He had no intention of losing.
“Go for the legs!” another pony commanded, shortly before the man felt at least three bodies smash against his lower extremities.
“You know I can understand you, right?!” he growled, elbowing a nearby pegasus in the chest. With each passing second, his body was becoming bogged down with the weight of furious, horny mares. He could barely move his legs, but managed to keep himself upright by using the wall beside him as support. An earth pony and pegasus snatched desperately at his arms, which were currently trying to free his neck from the mare wrapped around it, but failed to get a hold on his limbs as they moved about.
As the mare around his neck struggled to resist his efforts, the man noticed one of her hooves around the side of his head, rather than his neck. With little hesitation, he brought the limb close and sunk his teeth into it; the mare released the limb with a shriek of pain before falling back into the crowd. Alfonz struck out against one of the ponies wrapped around his leg with his newly-freed arms, forcing the release of the limb with the force of the blow. For every pony he shook off, however, two more swiftly replaced it.
The man felt his body beginning to the give out. If his aggressors weren’t clinging to him, they were kicking and biting frantically to help their brethren. As he lined up another attack, one of the unicorns latched onto his arm, pulling him down from yet another angle. With a short yell of defiance, the man toppled over, bringing down many of his adversaries with him. Partially pressed up against the wall, the man thrashed about wildly in an attempt to throw off the ponies around him, which piled onto his legs, arms, and chest to try and overwhelm him.
Headbutting an earth pony mare trying to pin his arm with her backside, Alfonz swung his fist in a vicious uppercut against a pony on his chest, hurling her off and into the crowd. As the man struggled to get up, resisting the efforts of what seemed like innumerable enemies, two mares leapt onto his back, each hanging off his shoulders in a display of reckless determination. The man was partially on his feet now, supporting most of his weight in a lean against the wall. The furious equines screamed their displeasure and continued to pile on, but were deterred by a number of decisive kicks to the chest and neck. The ponies upon his back were swiftly getting familiar with the wall, as the man pushed harder and harder against it.
“Get off!” the man roared as he grabbed one of the mares’ hooves. Unable to resist his influence after the previous attack, the mare was swiftly hurled over his shoulder and into the crowd, bowling many of her allies over in the process. Despite his love for the ponies as a whole, and how bad he felt about hurting them, the fight was unbelievably therapeutic. Unlike his trek through Ponyville, he hadn’t a pressing objective that needed tending to.
This was purely for his benefit.
“Feel free to give up any time!” he yelled with a short laugh, punching another pegasus across the cheek, sending it sprawling down the hall. With an almost insane cackle, the man lifted a retreating earth pony over his head and hurled it into the crowd, causing a domino effect in their midst. He was getting lost in his own demented pleasure, but he didn’t care. This was his revenge, and he was going to enjoy it.
Because of this, Alfonz almost didn’t notice the sudden lack of fight in his foes. With a feral look upon his face, the man looked around wildly for more enemies, but found the tide of ponies receding instead. Looking around, he quickly found out why; standing in the center of the left hall was none other than the gleaming white form of Princess Celestia, looking quite confused and perhaps even frightened. The assemblage of ponies quickly skirted around him like frightened rodents, leaving nothing between him and the Princess of the Sun.
Still lost in his frenzied stupor, Alfonz marched confidently over to Celestia, pulled her close by her golden necklace, and kissed her. Initially, the Princess looked on with an expression mirrored by her subjects; complete surprise and a fair bit of horror. But as the gesture continued for quite some time, she slowly closed her eyes and, seemingly, enjoyed it. The two remained locked in this embrace for at least a minute before mutually pulling back.
Whatever fight Alfonz had left in him died in that moment.
“I’m…just ganna go…sit here…” he murmured, quietly seating himself against a nearby wall. The ponies around him just stared at each other in stunned silence, and it was at least another minute before Celestia spoke.
“Well, then,” she began with a cough, straightening up once more. “Just what is going on here?”
“The human attacked a guard!” a mare cried from the crowd.
“He said he was going to hurt us if we didn’t leave!”
Celestia looked down at Alfonz, whose eyes were closed and arms were folded.
“Eh,” was all he said, giving her a halfhearted shrug.
“I’m sure there is a logical explanation for all this,” Celestia insisted calmly, trying to soothe the raging emotions of the crowd.
“He still hasn’t paid for the damage he caused in Ponyville!”
Alfonz made a loud “pfft” sound at this, but did not stir.
“I will make sure he stands accountable for his actions,” Celestia replied quite sincerely; so much so that Alfonz opened his eyes.
“Say what?”
“Please, return to your homes. Everything will be taken of.”
After a few begrudging signs of acceptance, Celestia took up a position in front of Alfonz, and the two disappeared in a bright flash of light.
The next thing the man knew, they were back in the Princess’s quarters. He had somehow been sprawled out in the journey, as he found himself face down on the lavish carpet. By the time he righted himself, Celestia was already looming over him, frowning.
“Oh come on,” he growled, shifting into a sitting position. “You know I did all of that in self-defense.”
“You wake up after nearly a week-“
“A week?!”
“-in a coma, and the first thing you do is pick a fight with a bunch of mares?”
“The last thing I remembered was being attacked by a group of mares,” Alfonz retorted. “I didn’t know what the hell happened to me after that. I just wanted to get out of there and get back here.”
“Spike sent me a letter informing me of the situation from the train,” Celestia explained, though her words did lose their spitefulness. “I arrived a few minutes after your run-in with Ponyville’s mayor.”
“Good to know,” Alfonz said with a short exhale. Boy, was that a load off his shoulders. “Thanks for that.” Celestia was not amused.
“Do you know how much damage you’ve caused?”
“I warned them,” Alfonz replied with his own dose of venom. “I told them over, and over, and over to stay out of my way. Do you know what they did to Spike? They almost killed him in that basement!”
“You went on a rampage and nearly incited a riot!” Celestia retorted with a stamp of her hoof.
“They were going to kill me or worse! I had to defend myself, defend Spike!” Alfonz insisted, rising to his full height as the argument escalated. “If you have such a god damn problem with what happened, tell it to them!”
“You don’t understand how hard it is for them to stop themselves.”
“And you don’t understand how hard it is to deal with this shit day after day!”
The two remained silent for several moments. Both their words hit home, it seemed. Alfonz found it easy to fight against the horny bastards when they were just deviants. He didn’t like to think of them as victims of their own nature.
“What you did was beyond foolish,” Celestia said after a few minutes, shaking her head. “Not only did you seriously injure – directly or indirectly – at least ten different civilians, you almost got yourself killed.”
“Yeah well that’s my problem,” Alfonz growled in response, trying to ignore the first part. He really, really didn’t want to hurt a bunch of pastel ponies. It made his most recent actions all the more appalling…
“But it’s not, Alfonz,” Celestia murmured. “You need to understand that.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, some unknown horror dawning on him. He had a bad feeling about this.
“Alfonz…you are the only male we have seen in Equestria for the last 15 years,” Celestia explained lowly. “I don’t know about your kind, but us Equestrians cannot survive with just mares.”
Alfonz couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had thought the same exact thing during his first talk with the Princess, and wondered why she didn’t seem to give a damn about the end of her race. Now he knew; she was grooming him to fill the role.
“And you were just going to keep this from me?” he asked with rising anger. “Just fill me in when the time came?”
“After I knew how you felt, I didn’t think it necessary,” Celestia explained. “But I can’t have you endangering my subjects and yourself in these reckless adventures of yours. It’s time you know what is at stake.”
“And what does your sister think about all this, hm?” he retorted, remembering Luna’s jealousy in the past.
“She understands what threatens to destroy her race,” Celestia replied with a deep frown. “As I’m sure you do too. Do you really wish to let our species die?”
“How dare you say that shit to me,” the man said lowly, glaring daggers at the alicorn.
“I’m sorry to ask this of you, Alfonz, I really am,” she insisted, bowing her head. “But I have no choice.”
And neither did he, really. He wanted to tell her off, but, supposing she would take no as an answer, it would mean the demise of their entire race. He also wanted to pass the buck; simply implicate Spike instead, and get off scot free. But he couldn’t bring himself to condemn Spike like that…Damn, did it suck to have morals.
“I don’t think you understand species very well,” Alfonz said at last, praying that he had found a flaw in this otherwise hopeless situation. “Humans and ponies are not compatible. It doesn’t matter what I do, you can’t conceive foals like this.”
“We have spells that will solve that for us,” the Princess explained.
“If that’s the case, just transform a squirrel or something,” he retorted. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“It’s not that simple, I’m afraid.”
“What about transforming some of the mares-“
Celestia shook her head.
“God damn it…” he cursed, covering his face with his palms.
“We will make sure the process is as safe as can be managed,” the brilliant white alicorn assured, placing a wing comfortingly over the man’s back. “I’m not sure when it will be necessary. It could be weeks, or it could be years. What I know for certain is: we will need your help, Alfonz.”
“Is this why you brought me here?” he said suddenly, looking up at her from behind his hands. “Find a human with a shitty life to be the solution to all your problems? I mean, who would miss him, right?”
“I’m not the reason you are here,” the Princess said with another shake of her head. “But I know that, had you not come here, there may have been no hope for us.”
The man sighed. Great. He was no closer to finding how he got there, no closer to finding a way back, and no closer to even finding a safe place to avoid all the shit. He was destined to become a slave to ensure the future of an entire species, and there wasn’t a god damn thing he could do about it.
And now he couldn’t even punch pastel ponies to feel better.
“What will you do now?”
“Make the best of it, I guess.”
And that is where his story ends, I’m afraid. I would like to tell you that Alfonz went out in a blaze of glory, fighting until the last breath like he had always envisioned, never compromising his morals, but it simply was not so. With the destruction of the Equestrian race looming over his head, the man was forced to stay his hand and remain in the Royal Palace, protected by the Royal Family like a treasure of inconceivable value.
Princess Luna, who had been unaware of Alfonz’s most recent adventures thanks to her sister’s meddling, was thrilled to have her love return to her. Opting to leave the mare in darkness concerning the events in Ponyville, the man explained to her his concern about his future, but, understanding the gravity of the situation as she did, she was unable to help him.
Knowing what they did about the man’s future, the Princesses ceased their efforts to get into Alfonz’s pants…more or less. Every so often, the two would test the man’s limits, but found that his fate had largely strengthened his resolve.
Spike, meanwhile, had been allowed to stay in the palace with Alfonz. Equipped with the pendant the man had lost during his battle in Ponyville, the dragon was free to come and go as he pleased, disguising himself as he had done in during his stay at the manor. As per the man’s request, Spike was never approached with the offer in place of Alfonz, and remained oblivious to his friend’s fate.
As for Alfonz, he could only wait. He knew what fate had in store for him, but could never know when his time would come. Although he searched for a solution in the months and years that followed, and although the lone human in Equestria never found an answer to his plight, the man would never stop searching. It just wasn’t him.
Some stories simply don’t have a happy ending.
Meh, I can live with this.
I would have just left. No way I'm becoming a man whore.
Darn it, this is the second of my favorites to have ended today! Why do you do this to me? Fimfiction?
Anyway, all joking aside, this was a great story. You chose a good end to it, one that seems like how it should go.
I may or may not have even cried a bit at how Spike was imprisoned. Not telling which.
Can we expect to see any more from you in the future?
eh, endings are usually the hardest to write
2540278 You would doom an entire species to extinction for your own pride? Can't say I disagree with you.
The random chunk of writing at the end could probably be replaced with an epilogue, or even just the conversation between Luna and Alfonz, but otherwise it was okay, I guess.
Better than Day One's ending, in any case.
...Couldn't he have just done it in a cup?
I quite enjoyed this! I quite enjoy the blend of comedy and seriousness; but I have a question. He was pretty much stuck there to re-populate the world, right? Sometimes I can be a bit dense to what can be going on.
I actually kind of liked the ending to this one. Am I a little disappointed on how it left off? Yea, but I enjoyed the story nonetheless . It was great to experience reading Alfonz's plight and his struggles in this messed up world he was thrown in. I like the idea of some stories not having happy endings because it's true. Not all stories get that. I do believe that Alfonz deserved more but all in all I enjoyed this story and I liked the ending. Great job!
Glad everyone is enjoying the ending. If you guys have any questions or concerns, feel free to make them known.
2540341
He wasn't brought there for that purpose, no, but that is basically his fate now.
2540324
Think about that for a second. A cup of...substance, needs to go from cup to the...destination. And they must do this with hooves. Yeah...
2540305
Well, I've got another story running at the moment: Equestria Special Forces. If you mean HiE stories, you'll have to wait and see.
Honestly, killing myself would be a more lovely probability at that point. Probably would have been an emotionally dead husk at that point.
And this comes from one who generally considers such an act despicable.
2540671
You should be telling yourself to think for a sec, if they have magic that can make/change human DNA to be compatible with ponies, then one could easily assume they have magic that can... insert it in.
Also if you wanna take it a few more steps further they could probable come up with a spell that can make the DNA last outside longer, and if they were really daring they might have been able to somehow make the DNA multiply so that one cup could become many.
Anyway, still a good ending, it's just fun coming up with all these 'what ifs'
2540278 Not my species, not my world, not my problem. I agree with you.
Pity Alfonz isn't as resolute and accepted to become the mares' slut.
The thing is that it is not going to help. ONE human is not going to repopulate. It could at best give one new generation. You have 0 genetic diversity.
Plus if you were going to do such a thing you would do better doing sperm into a cup and then artificially inseminating as many mares as possible. The actual sex act is inefficient at best for such a wide-scale problem.
The most important thing would be to try to tag where Alfonz came from and draw in about 100 more.
Haha well that was fun. And yeah right not a happy ending this was the reasonably best solution given what there was to work with. Barring any unexplored/dangerous magic or destroying the fabric of reality to bring in more humans at least.
Anyway thanks so much for giving me an outlet to go absolutely insane with, I've never typed so much in comments in my life.
2540716
I'll admit, I did forget about magic when I wrote that comment
And I was rather afraid people might misinterpret what Celestia meant. She intends to change him into a pony, rather than simply make his DNA compatible. That's why he recommended they use squirrels instead. But alas, it was not so.
2541265
When it comes down to it, its about individual morals and such. But, let's say that Alfonz didn't give a damn about them: its unlikely that he would still be able to just leave. Celestia gave him a wide birth when she thought he was cautious, given the nature of the world, but after risking his life three different times in rapid succession, she really doesn't trust him to take care of himself anymore. If he were to refuse, it would likely mean he would become their prisoner
2541560
That's actually one of the fun things to think about. How will they combat the issue of genetic diversity? Will they eventually go back on Alfonz's promise and recruit Spike? Or maybe they have ways that he prooobably shouldn't think too hard about...
2541628
I'm glad you liked the story, and I very much enjoyed reading your theories. In many regards, you weren't far off from the truth. I'm very glad that my story motivated people to think outside the box
Well I liked it, sad ending=me happy. I have to say I certainly wouldn't of made the same choices he did, as I'm sure others would have made different choices as well. I guess you could say I'm about half-way between David and Alfonz. Cautious but not overly so.
I don't know if you explained this or not but how did this world come about? Did David's actions corrupt the world or is this world completely unrelated to that one and Alfonz just got a bad deal? or maybe that's for a different story for another time.
Also, while he has hardened his resolve I feel that he will eventually cave or simply become nothing more than a empty husk of the man he was, completely devoid of feeling and emotion. Which as far as I'm concerned may be the best thing for both him and the population. They solve their problem and he doesn't have to emotionally/mentally deal with it.
I was also thinking, if I was in this direct position I would try to compromise. I would request either a spell that would erase my memories of said events or at least be put in a state where I couldn't remember what happened. That or a massive amount of the best alcohol they have.
All in all I enjoyed this story quite a bit and as always I look forward to more of your work. Happy writing and all that.
EDIT- I would also consider adding a tragedy tag.
2542189
Well, in that case, I'm agreeing with 2540692 here. Hell, after everything Alfonz has been through, the revelation would have broken my mind, and I would have gladly sung "Paint the man, cut the lines" while writing the mares a nice goodbye message on the cell wall. You can guess what the paint's color would be.
But hey, I'm not Alfonz, and this isn't my story, so that's not how it's gonna go.
In this one, a miserable bugger chooses to cope with a disgraceful fate, while whatever country he came from must be glad for not having to give him social support, and Crazy Whoreland fucks their way to bliss no matter what the other party on the bedsheets feels like. What's there not to approve? A concerned citizen might say nothing, but hay, that's how the world rolls; spinning endlessly as it grinds the unfortunate into the dung.
2544202
Considering that they might also kill whatever Stallions that are conceived 'accidentally' again, it might all be for naught. Unless the Princesses have some way of keeping that from happening though. . .
I was hoping for an end where he had to go look for a cure or whatever, like an adventure type...like a sequel.
Now imagine... If Alphonz was homosexual...
tfw
that ending
wait
there is no face for this ending only a big
WTF
by the way...nice ending... i never would notice something like this
Hmm, quite a sad ending, not a bad one by any means, but one with several points to address:
Genetic diversity, there is simply no way for one individual to repopulate a nation. Secondly there is a rather obvious solution; if the native males simply made their way elsewhere, then surely dear Alfonz would search for them before giving into his fate? Even presuming that dear Cadance has "taken care" of her concubines the rest of the males must have gone somewhere, and finding them would still be a more rational solution than trying to repopulate with one male.
Nest there is the question of exactly why all the females have been in heat this long, logically there would be a reason for why they would remain in such a way if this was not the case before. Alfonz would surely want to know the reason for this, as it may hold a solution to his problem. Finally, presuming that one person can come through to Equestria, multiple individuals may. Even presuming that the potential pool was limited to those who had previous contact with the show that is millions of males available, logic dictates that Celestia at least attempt to find out how Alfonz came through, and perhaps having found it be able have a enough volunteers to spare Alfonz and even send him home.
Of course I have yet read the bonus chapter so this may all be rendered moot, but they are points I felt that should be addressed.
As for the story itself, you manged to take the cliche' of a human entering pony land during estrus season and make a quality drama out of it, kudos. Alfonz was sympathetic, his trials were involving and his pains became a source of empathy for the character. The story was fast paced enough that I could get through the chapters in a few hours, and I did not ever grow bored with the story, which is something many other stories without the 'grand' premise of "man trapped in land of females in heat" often do so, even when they are excellent.
Thank you for taking the time to give us this story, though I personally find the ending quite depressing and flawed in some ways I did enjoy reading it. Have a nice day.
EpsilonWinter
The flow of writing is easy to read, the plot had an interesting start, I see no glaring mistakes, and the characters are decent. For this, I applaud you.
For the rest, not so much.
I don't normally get angry with a story, and when I do, I REALLY hate having to lay my feelings out on the table, but this chapter made me nearly blow my gasket that I couldn't resist commenting.
First off, I assumed this story was going to be funny, hence the "Comedy" tag. So it kinda pisses me off to find something that should've been funny; turn into a twisted tragic ending.
Fix that tag.
Second, I can't fathom someone actually throwing away their freedom into basically becoming a sex slave. Sure, he'll be well treated compared to what a normal slave would go through, but he'll still be a SLAVE.
Ten out of ten, I'd either slit my wrists while in the bathroom or jump off a balcony and end it. Fuck this rapist pony world. If they honestly can't control their basest desires any longer, then as a species, it doesn't need to live any longer. Third, there is no way in hell I would ever think of letting those mares raise a kid that belongs to me.
God forbid the foal they give birth to, turns out to be a colt. What a miserable life that boy would lead in a country full of rapists. I could never bear the thought of child of mine living in fear like that.
In the end, even though you say you are not trying to "cop out" of writing this story (which I honestly believe), I still can't help but feel like that's what it is. Or maybe I just feel cheated, since I enjoy happy endings, or at least, the bitter sweet ones.
You basically tricked me into reading a story that just ended with the main character gets the shit end of the stick and none of the ponies give a fuck to what he wants! It's not even ten in the morning and I'm already annoyed, so wow. . . thanks for that.
But ultimately, it's your story, and no matter what I say or do, the others have already commented on how much they love this story, so bravo I suppose. You get the gold freaking medal. Now I'm going to go make breakfast and try to forget the misery of what I just read.
So have a good day, sir.
i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii516/Klutzybear/i_aint_even_mad_owl_by_rainshadow778-d48hdhk.jpg
Their species are going to die either way. I mean if the guy did mate with these ponies, if its possible, yhe baby would a half-human, half-pony hubrid, wich is definetly not pony, so yeah.