When a magical portal spits out an enraged human hellbent on hurting them, Twilight and her friends find themselves learning of a world under attack... From Celestia and the Elements of Harmony. Now they have to figure out how to help the remaining
Once again, I encourage the author to find a beta reader fluent in English to help smooth out the rough edges on this story. Besides that, I liked the combined-arms approach to the battle, though I expect the Equestrians to make a spell that counters Tanks fairly quickly. The use of multiple characters, rather than a lone badass, to do the fighting is a good means of preventing a Mary Sue from forming.
1853332 Most of the ponies are untrained newfoals, not used to fight trained soldier, let alone tanks. But thanks for bringing that up. And yes, some pre-readers would be useful since my english is not the best.
1853332>>1853372 The new foals acts more like how a zombie would...swarm a target until it is down...Tyrant army on the other hand have a score of what to do scenarios when facing humans
Tanks and other war machines and how they overcome them will be explain. But proudtobe will get the first crack at it when he asks me how.
Seems good, English is slightly off here and there but nothing I can't push on through. I doubt the ponies can figure out anti-armor very fast seeing as it is an enemy never yet faced until now. My question is can the humans breach the shield? And why isn't air power being used more liberally, jets would fly faster then any pony could even see practically.
1858372 Read the main story from redskin122004 and TB3 if you want to know more about that shild. And about the air support: Germany don't have enough to cover every egde, but a higher number of anti air units. I don't know how it would look in 2019, but I still know from my time in the army that we have more tanks and anti air vehicles and ati air equipment as jets or helicopters. And I doubt that this will change so soon.
1861433 1: It varies from story to story, from author to author. Everyone have an other idea, sometimes it's unbreakable, sometimes it can be destroyed. As for this story; I don't want to give any spoilers, you have to wait for the next part from redskin122004 and TB3 .
2: The surprise attack of the ponies is worldwide. Many have to fight for themself first during that chaos before they can combine their forces.
Nice story dude. Im really liking it so far. I served with a couple guys from Germany, they were serving in a UN peacekeeping force. Good bunch of guys. My only complaint is the ranks of the marines. We use our own ranks, we don't use the navy's. it goes private, pfc, lance corporal, corporal, sergeant, staff sergeant, gunnery sgt, 1st sgt, sgt major. Welp I'm done with my rant. Again great story and I can't wait to read more.
this story is getting quite good. SO Tyrant Celestia is running the show then, hmm i wonders if that means luna herself or many of her followers and guards are fighting a guerrilla war on Equestria and on earth fighting against the TCP and tyrant Celestia forces.. hmmm question is how would nato contact them ??
great chapter, it's nice to see a story with realistic combat, they you show it is more or less how I imagine it would go (ponies are a good mach against infantry but can be counter with tanks and artillery) the way things are going if the berrier advances slow enouth this could turn into a trench warfare.
Wow, so many grammar mistakes, and I wished I caught the ones in the first chapter, but anyway: Problems: “And yes, I know that she is not a human. But she is acting like a person, and I will tread her like one, and I expect the same from you all.”
Trixie was confused. First he was going to let her behind, then he destroyed her cart and in the helicopter he wanted to throw her out. And now there he was and took care of her like she was some little filly. She is the great and powerful Trixie. She don’t need anyone. But why does she feels so... save around him?
A man in the round raised his hand. It was the delegate of Poland. “I’m sorry, did you just said magical powers?”
It was him. She knew that green uniform and that face. He came to safe her. Again.
‘...definite a hospital...’ She thought with a little uneasy feeling.
Solutions: “And yes, I know that she is not a human. But she is acting like a person, and I will treat her like one, and I expect the same from you all.”
Trixie was confused. First he was going to let her behind, then he destroyed her cart and in the helicopter he wanted to throw her out. And now there he was and took care of her like she was some little filly. She is the great and powerful Trixie. She don’t need anyone. But why does she feels so... safe around him?
A man in the round chair(?) raised his hand. It was the delegate of Poland. “I’m sorry, did you just said magical powers?”
It was him. She knew that green uniform and that face. He came to save her. Again.
‘...definitely a hospital...’ She thought with a little uneasy feeling.
That was definitely some surprised to find out that it was Trixie who needed help. It sure shows me about reading a story without looking at who's the main character first. It's an interesting side story I hope you'll be able to finish it soon along with the other red.
1853669 So, how would they normally act like in your story?
1952358 You should read the story of where it came from. ^^
Once again, I encourage the author to find a beta reader fluent in English to help smooth out the rough edges on this story. Besides that, I liked the combined-arms approach to the battle, though I expect the Equestrians to make a spell that counters Tanks fairly quickly. The use of multiple characters, rather than a lone badass, to do the fighting is a good means of preventing a Mary Sue from forming.
1853332
Most of the ponies are untrained newfoals, not used to fight trained soldier, let alone tanks. But thanks for bringing that up. And yes, some pre-readers would be useful since my english is not the best.
1853332>>1853372
The new foals acts more like how a zombie would...swarm a target until it is down...Tyrant army on the other hand have a score of what to do scenarios when facing humans
Tanks and other war machines and how they overcome them will be explain. But proudtobe will get the first crack at it when he asks me how.
Lol
The plotline's shaping up quite nicely and the two Marines who beat Trixie and Trixie herself help show that there's evil and good on both sides.
But there's numerous mechanical errors. I suggest you get an editor or beta reader who is fluent in English to help you.
Nice and also dawwwwwwww cant wait for more.
Seems good, English is slightly off here and there but nothing I can't push on through. I doubt the ponies can figure out anti-armor very fast seeing as it is an enemy never yet faced until now. My question is can the humans breach the shield? And why isn't air power being used more liberally, jets would fly faster then any pony could even see practically.
1858372
Read the main story from redskin122004 and TB3 if you want to know more about that shild. And about the air support: Germany don't have enough to cover every egde, but a higher number of anti air units. I don't know how it would look in 2019, but I still know from my time in the army that we have more tanks and anti air vehicles and ati air equipment as jets or helicopters. And I doubt that this will change so soon.
1861413
Can the humans make it collapse, it varies from story to story?
I was meaning Europe in general. Awesome that you're an actual German.
1861433
1: It varies from story to story, from author to author. Everyone have an other idea, sometimes it's unbreakable, sometimes it can be destroyed. As for this story; I don't want to give any spoilers, you have to wait for the next part from redskin122004 and TB3 .
2: The surprise attack of the ponies is worldwide. Many have to fight for themself first during that chaos before they can combine their forces.
Nice story dude. Im really liking it so far. I served with a couple guys from Germany, they were serving in a UN peacekeeping force. Good bunch of guys. My only complaint is the ranks of the marines. We use our own ranks, we don't use the navy's. it goes private, pfc, lance corporal, corporal, sergeant, staff sergeant, gunnery sgt, 1st sgt, sgt major. Welp I'm done with my rant. Again great story and I can't wait to read more.
this story is getting quite good. SO Tyrant Celestia is running the show then, hmm i wonders if that means luna herself or many of her followers and guards are fighting a guerrilla war on Equestria and on earth fighting against the TCP and tyrant Celestia forces.. hmmm question is how would nato contact them ??
man... I love german tanks...
great chapter, it's nice to see a story with realistic combat, they you show it is more or less how I imagine it would go (ponies are a good mach against infantry but can be counter with tanks and artillery) the way things are going if the berrier advances slow enouth this could turn into a trench warfare.
Wow, so many grammar mistakes, and I wished I caught the ones in the first chapter, but anyway:
Problems:
“And yes, I know that she is not a human. But she is acting like a person, and I will tread her like one, and I expect the same from you all.”
Trixie was confused. First he was going to let her behind, then he destroyed her cart and in the helicopter he wanted to throw her out. And now there he was and took care of her like she was some little filly. She is the great and powerful Trixie. She don’t need anyone. But why does she feels so... save around him?
A man in the round raised his hand. It was the delegate of Poland. “I’m sorry, did you just said magical powers?”
It was him. She knew that green uniform and that face. He came to safe her. Again.
‘...definite a hospital...’ She thought with a little uneasy feeling.
Solutions:
“And yes, I know that she is not a human. But she is acting like a person, and I will treat her like one, and I expect the same from you all.”
Trixie was confused. First he was going to let her behind, then he destroyed her cart and in the helicopter he wanted to throw her out. And now there he was and took care of her like she was some little filly. She is the great and powerful Trixie. She don’t need anyone. But why does she feels so... safe around him?
A man in the round chair(?) raised his hand. It was the delegate of Poland. “I’m sorry, did you just said magical powers?”
It was him. She knew that green uniform and that face. He came to save her. Again.
‘...definitely a hospital...’ She thought with a little uneasy feeling.
That was definitely some surprised to find out that it was Trixie who needed help. It sure shows me about reading a story without looking at who's the main character first. It's an interesting side story I hope you'll be able to finish it soon along with the other red.
1853669
So, how would they normally act like in your story?
1952358
You should read the story of where it came from. ^^
1983942
You will get an idea when the next chapter comes out... its kind of creepy.
1983942
Thank you for that. I will keep that in mind. And don't worry, the next chapter will be out soon.
1985472
You're welcome, but I think you should at least add Trixie to the main characters list if she's a protagonist to your story.
1985487
I didn't add her yet because it was unsure if she is in my side story or not, to not interfere with the main story.
1985507
I see.
This could be a lot better with an editor to fix grammatical and spelling mistakes and to improve oddly formal English.
3197821 very good, but needs an editor.