Feeling rather unfulfilled, a peculiar teen is given a chance to make things go right with his life in Equestria. But, upon arrival he discovers that he is a changeling! To make matters worse, Celestia delivers a prophecy that places him in the vanguard of world salvation. Will he be able to adjust to a world so different form his own, whist avoiding the pitfalls that plagued him before? Only one way to find out... Read On!
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Suicidal, angst ridden teen, magically whisked away to Equestria? Cliche alert, indeed. I like Changeling focused stories, as they can be rather unique, however that intro line alone is/has deterred folks from reading this. Crank out that grey matter and see what other methods of finding one's way into Equestria exist that don't fall under the worst HiE stereotype, and you will probably go a lot farther.
Hopefully he won't, lest another annoying HiE cliche be added to the already bulging pile.
1829112 Well, no mob hitmen ever arrived in Equestria. Or, for that matter, Buddhist monks. You made ME think, readin' that comment. Still, I look forward to what the author has planned--will be checkin' back here soon enough.
Is it me or is there another story with this exact name , no offensie
1829112 Have some faith, maybe, just maybe, I have a plan.
1831016 This title was an original idea that I came up with on my own. If someone else happened to have the same thought then that can't be helped.
1832092
I have no doubt that you have a plan, however, I was merely pointing out that your story premise shown is something that immediately makes folks run for the hills for the most part. I am very hesitant myself to read something that is based on that one stereotype, as it is the basis for 95% of all wish fulfillment HiEs, as well as a bunch of garbage HiEs. It is probably the reason for most if not all of your down votes too. HiEs are kind of like the toxic wastelands of Fallout. Everyone is very wary of them, and only rarely are they worth the venture.
As far as my opinion of the story itself, well, I'll be keeping an eye out, I've got this listed in my read later to come back and check up on at a later date and see what direction you've gone with.
1832181 I understand your concerns, the only problem is that I'd rather not reveal more of my plans until I've written them and published them. I'll consider tweaking the summary as I get father in. Until then I'd rather not leave people hanging or force myself into a plot that is inferior to an idea I might have further down the line. It's just something I'll have to deal with I guess.
2 of 1, not impressed? I don't get it?, when did he get even? And one thing, he said that the Earth he could be himself, why he suddenly want to be a prankster? If he really want to start again, it wouldn't be a better idea to be nice and play low with everybody? For that matter, Trolestia or not, I think she is going to far to fast, the assault of his mind is just rude, and the prank was just un call for. I think she was a little way out of character, even by Trolestia, what she is doing is just mean.
P.S: He continue to sai that Tom will only is passing by, those that mean thar Ezio Audipony will be the one who will live in town? And if it is, what kind of pony will he be (a unicorn, a normal pony or a pegazus)?
1835620 The protagonist struck the first blow when he sent dirty images to Celestia in chapter 1. Also, I never said he'd become a prankster hard and fast, he's just going to look for an opportunity to get Celly back. What do you mean by "Assault of his mind"? I don't remember writing anything that harmful only a harmless confetti explosion and some mental advice. As to Ezio, he's an Earth pony, and you'll see what happens with him in chapter 3.
Hmmm, interesting, it's looks like Ezio is going to be around for future chapters, to bad he wasn't the main protagonist in the end. Just a question, if changelings feed on love, does that mean that he just got a buffet out of Rarity, meaning that he shouldn't be hungry at all?
Also, he now has a big problem, because now Rarity now about his eyes meaning that if he transform again he will be taking the risk, of being discover…unless you are planning to make the definite form, Ezio brother or cousin and the eye thing is a family gift…are you planning to do that?
1836845
The real question is do changelings eat love subconsciously or actively?
Also the eye thing could be explained that both Ezio and the to be revealed main disguise got it from a "mission" that never happened...
1837585
Clever, poor Rarity, she will never have a normal relationship with her colt friend unleash he reveal himself, in witch she most likely will kill him, or this will be only story for her to tell about this mysterious stallion that stole her a kiss and almost her heart to her friends?
P.S: Did he actually love Rarity, or that was only part of the Ezio act?
1837614
He certainly seems to have taken a liking to her
1837634
Yes, finally, thank you, you do not know how difficult is to find Rarity/Humans romance stories in here, is a relief finally found one, thanks
1837652
Tis not my story don't thank me thank Gwynbleidd
1837847
Sorry dude, wrong window
1837860
Tis fine
Dude I just liked your story.
1854344 That's the idea!
Hey one question, I re read the story and noticed, in no moment did he said his name, did he did while taking about his past? Or as soon Rarity enter her home did she realized that she never ask for his name?
1858665 How very astute of you! You are not mistaken, currently my protagonist has no name, not even a good description. Mind you this isn't spawn of my own laziness but rather a deliberate design choice. Rest assured though, he will have a name before this story reaches its end. Does this answer your question well enough?
1859871
Pretty much everything, thanks, I just imagining Rarity asking to him, about Ezio and in that moment remember she never ask his name and feel, completely shock, embarrassed and perhaps a little angry.
Also I can imagine her start to fall for the permanent, form of him, and have a conflict of which one choose to be her coltfriend
A visit from Luna maybe..?
It's been a while since you updated... I almost forgot what was going on... It took me half of this chapter to remember... But that's not really your fault is it... You have a life to live, so enjoy it and don't force anything k?
1952957 I write as fast as I can, but I also have editors with busy lives and they aren't always the fastest people. Anyways, thanks for the feedback, I've been thinking of a way to include Luna.
Oh, maybe Luna can visit him, while he is sleep and having a nightmare, je you know, I understand him with the whole mind reading thing, and if Luna know his past, she might understand the feeling of being lonely, and offer a wing to hug or cry.
Please, make something to stop the mind reading, as he said is just very creepy. Perhaps Luna, being more sweet and understanding of her sister, inclination to be a prankster, will help him with a spell to avoid mind reading, or help him to return the coin by make him able to read Celestia mind as well (lets see if she likes her brain being violet or force to see some…interesting images in the worst of the times) , on two condition, he will only do on Celestia and will not abuse of them and two…
Well botton line, I hope Luna will be by far more sweet than Celestia and can offer him a break for her sister target of pranks, seriously I enjoy a light prank as much as the other guy, but Celestia is just pushing, and with hard pranks, when she will just stop? I even bet that the attempt with Twilight was just another prank
1958771 An interesting point, to be honest, I've been planning on getting rid of the mind reading gimmick for a while. As to how I'll do so is yet to be decided. As always your feedback is much appreciated.
1961237
Thanks, and yeah is getting annoying, one option can be Luna, other can be Chrysalis discover this new changeling (working on the details), Other that part of the prophesy is awakening powers and one of them is protection against mind reading, something like that, personally I am aiming for Luna. An and the way each transformation get some new personalities, a very neat trick, that explain how easy he manage to act as Etzio
P.S: Did he will visiting each pony with different forms, before take his permanent form? Because that can be become a real problem
Oh and the idea of he can read Celestia mind to, well that was inspired of what the heroes do in young justice, when they share a telepathic link but can't read each other mind. They will only can communicate what they wish to communicate, something similar happening with him and the princesses, you know, like getting even closer to them
1961307 All very interesting ideas, but I'd rather not spoil too much for what I have in mind. If you think of anything else though, I always love to hear it.
Dear fuck.
The cliche is immense.
3724467 Could you please specify what you mean by "Cliche"? I'd really appreciate knowing what it is you don't like about my story as to avoid such mistakes in the future.
Thank you for the feedback
~Gwynbleidd
3724636 First chapter, in your attempt to make your character "interesting":
The Gary Stu is very strong in this one.
3724683
I am quite aware of my character's Gary Stu like nature, however, I feel that you are prejudging my work. While he starts off stating these facts, almost all of it is taken away as he goes to Equestria to begin anew. I can asure you that if you read furthur you will find that your concerns are unfounded.
I don't blame you for raising this, though, I've had a hard time finding editors because of this intro.
I hope to hear you continue to provide feedback and read more of my fic.
All the best,
~Gwynbleidd
Sounds like the inventor from Mardek I wish they would make more of that series