Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have been together for the past few months, but are reluctant to tell their friends about it.
Chapters (5)
- Member Since 26th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2014
Commodore64
I run a youtube channel and like to read MLP fanfics. I'm hoping on writing some and posting them to my youtube channel or interviewing some of the writers on the site for new videos
Commodore64
Joined 26th Sep, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- protractror · 16k words · 96 4 · 2.6k views
- dog0food · 33k words · 41 2 · 2k views
- Starlitomega · 3.8k words · 101 3 · 3.8k views
- Damocles23 · 7.1k words · 115 5 · 4.1k views
- Inkin · 2.2k words · 60 2 · 2.3k views
- Commodore64 · 8.1k words · 22 1 · 1.5k views
- FlutterSky1979 · 15k words · 17 4 · 1.2k views
- Stevear · 5.4k words · 79 3 · 2k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.109 seconds
Total duration
1,069 users online
2,092,507 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
um... i dunno what to think of this, really.
Fluttershy's little language slip really annoyed me though, it was WAY too out of character.
Well, Fluttershy felt kind of OOC, but I'll give you a thumb based on the D'awwww inducing Rainbowpie scene
1808075>>1808056
I was really expected comments like "I fucking hate PinkieDash and I fucking hate this story". As for Fluttershy, this is my first fic, so I'm still getting used to writing these people (or ponies, I still need to get used to that too) as the characters everybody knows them as. Also, I've grown accustomed to the Kevin Smithian writing style of "little plot and lot's of talking", so putting breaks in Fluttershy's dialog felt kinda wrong for some reason. I do have an explanation for Fluttershy's more collective tone of speech planned in the next chapter, so look out for that. 
Well, first of; Thank You for giving me some actually constructive criticism.
i could understand pinkie cursing :3 vinyl definitly but not fluttershy
I've got to say, you've got a decent setup, and a decent writing style, but, alas, like the others, my only real complain lies with Fluttershy. However, I totally get that you're a new writer, and still trying to capture how to write out the characters(I've been there, thought not yet in this fandom). I say, keep going, keep writing, and you can only get better. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
excelent
Not bad. I feel like you've got Dash and Pinkie down pretty well, Macintosh okay from what little we saw (though saying he didn't like Fluttershy's animals much seems odd), but Fluttershy seemed somewhat OOC. I mean, I understand that she's a little more mellow, but it's still jarring to have her swearing. She's not just scared of lots of things, she's also shy, with low self-esteem. There is a difference.
Your Pinkie/Dash stuff, however, is nicely done.
know what im kind of tired with everyone making doctor and derpy a couple,gets kind of old after a while
2025542
I'm sorry, I couldn't help it
2025548 its ok mate,its just derpdoctor is SOOOO overused
2026436
I've personally never seen DerpDoctor as a ship and I use it like the companions on the actual Doctor Who show, where Derpy likes the Doctor but he's too obsessed with his time-travel to notice or care. I've noticed that the Doctor is basically asexual over the past 5 years of watching the show.
And then they had to lock Tootsie Flute out of the room while watching the movie. (They being Lyra and Bon Bon)
I am totally ok with this, as long as we get rainbowpie and derpydoc adventures.
And their reactions just make it. just
You forgot the G :
Vinyl's lasses fell straight off of her face, landing on the floor
Oh and great story btw ( i might not follow it thought since i know jack shit about doctor who.)
1808056
Mmm, I agree here. Typically best to adhere to canon characterization when doing a shipfic...
Other than that, made me smile.
EDIT: Started reading chapter two:
Ohhhhhh, okay. Makes more sense.
2088021
Thanks for the edit. Although, don't be scared away, because I don't plan on adding any DW continuity that won't be explained in the story since Pinkie, Dash, Octavia, and Vinyl also know jack shit about Doctor Who.
2086353
RainbowPie, DerpyDoc, and VinylTavia adventures to be precise.
derpdoctor...biiiig surprise - _-
oh yeah and you said "We're not looking for the approval of ponyville,we're looking for the approval of Ponyville" did you mean equestria mate?
2130001
Well you didn't include the entire sentence. Yeah, excuse me for wanting to write Doctor Who because I'm a fan.
D'awww, that scene with Pinkie and Dash was heart meltingly adorable.
This is a good story and could be a great story, but you need an editor. Some of the sentences felt off.
AHAA!!
I KNEW SOMEPONY WAS WATCHING THEM!!
I felt it.
XDDD
Best ending EVER
10/10 Mustaches
References.