One day, Flarp the Dunsparce decided to go to Equestria, so he and Nicolas Cage prepared a portal to the magical land of ponies in the Marshmellow Fun Fun Castle of Impending Demise. Flarp put Nicolas in charge of the slave driving while he was gone. Flarp jumped in the portal with serene grace because that was a joke.
Flarp landed in the middle of town square. As he looked up, he saw a crowd of ponies surrounding him. He put on the face of a graceful gladiator and stood proudly before them. The ponies were going crazy over the ground-snake-thing, almost all of them cheering and whistling. The mane six ponies which Flarp had been waiting to meet were just before him, gaping in awe.
“What a handsome creature! Tell us, who are you, grand being?” Twilight Sparkle asked in a suggestive voice. She raised her eyebrows and giggled.
“…Flarp.” Flarp said majestically. His sexy voice made a few ponies in the crowd faint.
Rarity moaned loudly. “Ohh, my ears! They just… ahh… ahh!” Rarity crashed on the ground, twitching and drooling from the massive eargasm she was having. Flarp stood frozen, like a nerd in a dodge-ball game.
Darkness suddenly swallowed the world and Nightmare Moon began to steal souls from the crowd. She laughed evilly at the crowd.
“Mwahahahaha! I return from the shadows for no in particular reason to take over the world! Come to that castle thing that I can’t remember the name of to stop me again… if you dare…” She monologued (like a true My Little Pony villain). Twilight Sparkle gasped and turned to Flarp.
“Oh, brave Flarp, will you help us defeat the evil Nightmare Moon and save our land?” She asked, crying the tears of meth-stained underwear.
“… Flarp.” He said. His words were so powerful that the writer couldn’t think of a good sentence to put down. Twilight was so ecstatic she pooped a chinchilla and did a back-flip.
“Oh, thank you, brave hero. Your deeds will be remembered throughout Equestria!” She cried. “Let’s go girls, we have a world to save!”
The mane six and Flarp set off for the Everfree Forest. On the way there, Rainbow Dash spontaneously combusted into flames and burned to death.
Suddenly, The Lich King appeared and asked what they wanted on their cheeseburgers. When he told Flarp that they didn’t have pepperoni, Flarp took out a magic wand and turned The Lich King into a bacon strip and ate him. He tasted like frozen yogurt and baked beans.
They pressed onwards through the forest, singing dubstep to keep their minds off of the floating ducks. They came up on the cliff that had slipped up the mane six before. Applejack immediately fell off and died violently.
Flarp teleported the remaining heroes down to the bottom of the cliff with his magic drill tail of pixie magic. They all looked over to see the hole where Applejack had landed. Suddenly, Gannondorf came out of the hole and laughed evilly. He saw Flarp, pissed himself, and turned into a tree stump. Also, Fluttershy was eaten by a stegosaurus with laser cannons. Logic.
Then, Flarp and the remaining 3 ponies got to the bridge that Rainbow tied to let the ponies cross. As they crossed the creaky bridge, a board broke loose and Rarity nearly fell off the bridge into the abyss. As she tried to climb up, a giant, orgasmic vulture swooped her up and took her away to his den in Japan. There, she was fed to baby Game Grumps. Flarp did not care, for in his opinion Rarity was a dumb character.
They continued onward to the big castle thing where Nightmare Moon was defeated the first time. Pinkie Pie suddenly died of a necromantic rabbit attack before she could enter. Now all that was left was Flarp and Twilight.
Surprisingly, Twilight gave birth to an Ipod-Touch and decided to call him Sonic the Hedgehog. Why? I don’t know, why’d the chicken cross the road? Probably some big titted rooster on the other side or something.
Anyway… Flarp, Twilight, and Sonic the Hedgehog found the Helements of Armony lying on the floor next to a dead rancor. Nightmare Moon suddenly appeared before them and monologued like a good little MLP villain.
“Hah! You are too late, Twilight and… whatever the hell you are… I’ve got the Helements of Armony by my side and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She rambled.
“Flarp.” Flarp said beautifully. His voice was so powerful that it charged Sonic’s battery to full and put a whole Nightwish album on him. The song “Wish I Banged an Angel” kicked on as Nightmare Moon unoriginally gasped.
“What!? You can’t be serious! This is impossible!” She yelled in corny disbelief.
“…Flarp.” Flarp gracefully said as he pulled out a “BIG Cheez-it!” box.
“NO! How did you know my one weakness was the Unready Cheese? No! NOOOOO!” Nightmare Moon yelled as she exploded into glass shards. Twilight made a U-turn around Canada and jumped in the air.
“FLARP! You sexy beast, you did it! I love you!” She yelled. Twilight suddenly turned inside-out and imploded, leaving Flarp and Sonic alone in the castle.
Then, Indiana Jones fell from the sky and winked at Flarp. “Good job, Flarp! You saved the world!” He said in an upbeat voice. Then he swung away into the night sky, making Flarp contemplate what it really means to be a Power Ranger.
A portal opened in front of Flarp, leading back to his home world; Booger. He bowed his head at Sonic and jumped in the portal. Flarp’s epic adventure had come to an end. He had learned throughout the long and perilous journey that sacrifices were sometimes necessary for getting to the center of a tootsie pop.
“Welcome back, Flarp! How was your adventure in Equestria?” Nicolas Cage asked as he yelled at the Audino slaves. Flarp looked straight into Nicolas Cage’s eyes and gave him the whole story of what happened.
“…Flarp.”
I REGRET NOTHING, HATERS GONNA HATE, REDIGARS GONNA REDIGAR, ALEXTRAZSAS GONNA ALEX, DUNSPARCES GONNA DUN, FLARPERS GONNA FLARP!
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I can already hear the train coming
the Chuck Norris of Dunsparce is like still really lame
DAT EVERYTHING
So fucking beautifulz I cri evry tiem
Not sure if trollfic or serious....
DAFUQ DID I JUST READ
1692145 Eh. It's just a little thing I have with my Dunsparce. When you take down an Aggron in one hit with a DUNSPARCE it's a special feeling.
*Sees Title*
If it wasn't so late, and I didn't have to go to school, I would read this. Right now. So, for now I will set it aside and check it out later.
1693496 Everything in this story is popsickle. Warned you have been
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1693485
except you need to check your memory, the Arggron had 1 hp from the last turn when Flarp came in so no Flarp did not 1 hit Arggron at full hp. Unless you really want to dwell on killing something that had no chance on surviving ANY hit other then false swipe, and sandstorm
1693638 Not your Aggron, Iris's
Forgive me if I am an out of touch grandpa n00b, but what is a Dunsparce?
1693675 Gen 2 Pokemon. It's a really stupid pokemon but I love it.
1693709 I assumed it was a pokemon, but wasn't sure. I thought that maybe Gen. 6 came out and nobody told me.
I cri everytim
1694702 I know... he's just so... magical
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Dear readers, I apologize for any DAFUQs that may have melted your mind.
1693649
Well I can't deny that
1695168 I think your dumb Pokemon should be Kricketune.
1695189
err na I stick with my pile of rocks, hunk of metal, and bug dragon thing.
1696000 well I got a Droughtales and Sleepseed Evo Bold Tangela as well as a Scoped Inferno Chandelure. GL w/ that
Anyone who can decipher this deserves a Flarp.
This is the best story I have ever read. Hands down. A+ Five Stars.
1715794 Dunsparce should make a sequel. "Flarp the Dunsparce Goes Super Saiyan and Kills Discord".
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How to sum up this story.
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-When I first clicked- What the hell is this?
-After reading- Wtf? My brain is filled with stuff. and Dunscparces.
that makes more sense than my research proposal
What, the fuck. I have absolutely no way to react to this whatsoever except to implode and explode at the same time in quantum mechanics all happening in a Planck measurement of time.
1910039 I like pineapples as well, good monkey.
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This sums up how this story appeals to me.
1999321 Dunsparce is best pony don't deny it.
I finally have a gif that works for this story. Actually a few.
...if only I actually knew how to post them... TELL ME.
2089985 See that add images button next to the youtube enter thingy on the bar of the comments above? Cope/paste URL into that.
2089993 ...derp.
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I feel enlightened.
2090021 Lols. I'm making a sequel
This story measures to about 5‽ (5 cuils) And I've no problem with that! :D
Fantastic!
2100766 Expect a sequel, because I write the weirdest crap when I have block for my actual stories.
2100792 I kinda know that feel. Only I don't submit the ones that are too weird. (except The eclectic adventures pt 1. That story is pretty weird. ^^;)
2100893 Complete and utter nonsense is what I excel at, so I plan to show it.
2100897 Hmmm... I look forward to seeing more from you in that case.
.
EVERYONE DIED! THE END!
2105889 There will be a sequel where Flarp resurrects them all and goes to kill Dipcord and claim his place as best princest.
2105891 I'm always up for a healthy dose of Random!
You there! Trainer! I challenge you to write An Actual Story About Dunsparce.
You know what I mean. No Comedy/Random allowed.
If you pulled that off I will throw my hat at your face.
2100792 "Expect a sequel" *9 months later* "Alright guys, I'm writing a sequel"
FUCKING FINALLY!
1723255 yup...Like the best possible acid trip...
そう、ノコッチ、何あなたの土地のヘビの生活の周りで起こっているの?