I gave this a thumbs up for story concept because I like the idea of Rainbow struggling with losing friends over her orientation. However, there are many grammatical and punctuation errors that make this story hard on the eyes. Where capslock is used to show emotion like anger or Rarity's fear for Rainbowd exclaimation marks would serve. There are also no breaks between paragraphs or dialogue that make it difficult to figure out whats going on half the time. I would strongly recommend a pre-reader/editor and I would love to read this once the chapters get cleaned up. I really do like the concept and hope you will continue to write
My god... Thanks for giving Equestria a dark side, really, I'm sick of Equestria always being so perfect. Some dark sides to it besides the Everfree can help keep it from being goddamn Mary-Sueland in fanfics. I'm favoriting it(I'm a sucker for well written incomplete stories, regardless of rating)
I'm HIGHLY bugged by this. This is an AU fic dude LABEL IT, ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, they are bound. if the MANE 6 Are THAT Ooc WITHOUT just cause(Discord,magic, potion, lots of bad blood) than it's AU.
TOO MUCH YELLING
and dialogue needs to go on its own lines.
those are the expressions of the mane 6
I gave this a thumbs up for story concept because I like the idea of Rainbow struggling with losing friends over her orientation. However, there are many grammatical and punctuation errors that make this story hard on the eyes. Where capslock is used to show emotion like anger or Rarity's fear for Rainbowd exclaimation marks would serve. There are also no breaks between paragraphs or dialogue that make it difficult to figure out whats going on half the time. I would strongly recommend a pre-reader/editor and I would love to read this once the chapters get cleaned up. I really do like the concept and hope you will continue to write
My god... Thanks for giving Equestria a dark side, really, I'm sick of Equestria always being so perfect. Some dark sides to it besides the Everfree can help keep it from being goddamn Mary-Sueland in fanfics. I'm favoriting it(I'm a sucker for well written incomplete stories, regardless of rating)
I'm HIGHLY bugged by this. This is an AU fic dude LABEL IT, ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, they are bound. if the MANE 6 Are THAT Ooc WITHOUT just cause(Discord,magic, potion, lots of bad blood) than it's AU.
Sad but at least better than the fear of a Pegasus story I read that one was terrible