Sympathy for Discord

by Pony Bones

Dancing with Discord

Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah But what's confusing you Is just the nature of my game. Just as every guard is a criminal and all the sinners saints. As heads is tails, just call me Rhapsody 'cause I'm in need of some restraint. So if you meet me have some courtesy, have some sympathy, and some taste. Use all your well-learned politesse or I'll lay your soul to waste, yeah. Pleased to meet you hope you guessed my name, but what's puzzling you is the nature of my game, get down!

I think every Brony’s introduction to My Little Pony can be summed up in One Week by Bare Naked Mares, double meaning, I love word play! Don’t deny it comedy without stupid puns would be like Seapple without coffee, unimportant until you don’t have it.

I may be a flirt but my heart belongs to only one pony, she may have bruised it and shook it up a bit but nothing she does can ever change how I feel about her. You all know who I’m talking about, the lovely the charming Screwball. In the millennia of my existence I have never met a mare like her and I know I’ll never find another one like her when she’s gone, not only does she appreciate my humor and keep me in line; she’s a compulsive joker herself.

Other ponies don’t seem to understand you can’t take life too seriously; you’re going to die either way, no sense living in Missouri, excuse me, misery I get the two confused sometimes. Live what you watch and, “Giggle at the ghosties.” Just live your life EHehEHehEHeh.

Where is Missouri anyways, and why do I know about it? Pony Bones has to stop writing this story soon it’s confusing to have a foot in two worlds. Do I look like Hannah Maretanna? Because I know I’m not getting the best of both worlds, yes I just went there. I like the Van Hooven version better anyways.

You know when I first met Screwball I literally fell for her? I wish I hadn’t fallen on her though not very classy of me. It was back in the day when I ruled Equestria and don’t bother asking about the timeline because it’s more convoluted than hoofball bat at a hockey game, which I don’t recommend trying. To this day Celestia herself couldn’t tell you exactly when it happened.

It all started when I was floating down Bon Bon Street as a parade balloon at Mardi Grass having the time of my life. Nopony does masquerades like Baton Rein, but I look down an alley and I see a mare crying.

Now you know me if you’re at a party and you’re not having a good time I’m going to do what I can to fix that. So I floated over to introduce myself but I wasn’t watching where I was going and I crashed into a balcony and landed on her back knocking her over.

“Oww.” She groaned wincing in pain.

“Please forgive me Madame allow me to help you up.” I said offering my paw.

“Ohh, you should be more careful next time that really hurt.” She replied accepting my offer.

“I truly am sorry, actually I came over here to see if you were doing alright but I kind of ruined that didn’t I?”

“It’s alright, I’ll be fine.” She said wiping her eyes and opening them.

When we saw each other we both had completely opposite reactions, of course I was smitten on first sight. If her eyes were oceans then consider me drowned but as soon as she understood who she was speaking with she flew into a panic and fell to her knees.

“Forgive me your Majesty I should not have obstructed your flight.”

“Don’t worry about it really, and please rise. It seems you know me but I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you.”

She stared at the ground dismally and hesitated before answering, “My name’s… Screwball.”

“Well Screwball aside from me blundering into you just now would you mind telling me why you’re so upset?”

She hesitated just a bit more but couldn’t hold back, she sat down in tears and explained, “My pegasi friends were making fun of me, They told me I’d never be able to fly with my helicopter beanie!”

My heart broke right there, I don’t understand how Ponies can be so beautiful and so ugly at the same time but I knew this was the mare I wanted to be with until she passed on.

“What do they know, listen to me sweet heart, if you want to fly with your beanie don’t let anypony tell you that you can’t.”

“But I already tried it, it doesn’t work!” She said throwing her beanie on the ground.

It is so good to be Discord sometimes, a little bending of aeronautic physics and I knew I could put a smile back on her face.

Picking up the beanie and pawing it to her I said, “Why don’t you give it another try what could it hurt?”

“What couldn’t it hurt?” She said crossing her cannons and scowling.

“Aww don’t be like that, I’m not going tell you that it won’t hurt sometimes but I guarantee it will be worth it. Besides just think of the looks on your so called friends faces when you’re on their level.”

Uncertainly she took the beanie and put it on her head again and started up the little rotor.

“CONTACT, here she goes folks the Amelia Wing Heart of Baton Rein! They told her it couldn’t be done but look at her now already three feet off the ground!”

Looking down she saw that she was indeed hovering and without warning she half crashed half glommed onto me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Then once again she remembered who she was talking to and blushed redder than Cheerilee with a fever, I’m not going to lie my face was feeling a little warm too.

“Forgive me your Majesty that was presumptuous of me.”

“Ahem EHERM, All is forgiven, uhhh actually may I escort you through the skies tonight milady?” I said offering my elbow

Screwball got over her initial nervousness quickly and smiled as she accepted my proposition, “Please lead the way your Highness.”

Yes we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance then they’re no friends of mine.

I miss those days more than anything, we left her friends slack jawed in the dust, it tears me up that I can’t live it over again. A life can only be lived once and that includes me, one day I will face my reckoning also. There’s not much that can set me off, I’m fairly laid back, but when she’s forced to live in hiding for association with my usurpation, that’s just wrong. Being the sweetheart she is, she still visits me when she can.

Hah, just when you thought this story was just shallow stupidity I had to go and drop a moral in to it, mind blown, and don’t tell me I can’t do it I’m Discord I do what I want! The moral of the story is don’t try to fly with a helicopter beanie unless I’m there.

I would ask for somepony to save me from myself but I’m having too much fun!

Oh and if you don’t favorite this story you will be haunted for all time wondering what would have happened if you did favorite it, can you live with that? Actually I don’t know how you can’t favorite this story anyways, this chapter is totally adorable, in fact let me click the favorite button for you.

Author's Note:

Good gravy this chapter was sooooo much fun to write, I haven't written like this since I first signed up for FIM Fiction. To my loyal readers, thank you all for the comments and the favorites, this chapter's for you! Now I'm going to sleep.

Comments

[LostUmbrella]

I would ask for somepony to save me from myself but I’m having too much fun!

I wouldn't definitely save him

[Pony Bones]

2162028 It would probably be safer to sit back with a bag of popcorn, watch, and pray that he doesn't notice you.