"He who bestows something great receives no gratitude; for in accepting it the recipient has already been weighed down too much."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
"Morenth?"
"Another question?" the paladin groaned, only eliciting a wry grin from his equine companion.
He was starting to regret his promise to answer any questions she had thought up the night before.
Morenth had been prepared to provide all the general information about the continent of Soulis a wayward outsider might need, but what he hadn't counted on was Twilight's seemingly endless hunger for knowledge. Her questions had come non-stop since they'd set off at sun rise, raising questions from agriculture to politics with unending curiosity.
"How common are the undead in Soulis?" The lavender mare queried, finally touching on a subject the paladin was well informed of. "I can't imagine any society could function if there were monsters like those everywhere."
"More common than I'd like to admit," Morenth intoned, ferrowing his brow in thought, "For as long as anyone can remember they've plagued Soulis. Some accounts may differ but you'll be hard pressed to find a tome on history that doesn't mention them at least in passing. But worst still is how they're made..."
The paladin paused as a wave of nausea passed through him, trying hard to force down the unpleasent memories before they had a chance to show him ugly pictures of the past. Twilight raised an eyebrow questioningly, but remained silent as Morenth continued.
"...It's the disease that seems to infect us all. When someone dies in this world they will fill the ranks of the undead, rising from eternal sleep to hunt and feed on the living. It matters not if they are kings or serfs, lords or peasants. All rise..." The paladin's hand went unconsously to the amulet around his neck, clutching it tightly as the faces of the dead filled his thoughts.
"T-thats horrible!" Twilight managed, shuddering at the thought of becoming one of those things. "How do you live knowing something like that?"
"We manage," Morenth began, wondering just how much he should tell her, "It's common practice to burn the deceased immediatly after their death. Following the cremation a funeral is held, but it's not always that simple. There are always those who die unexpectedly, or those who have no families to provide the last rites."
The paladin could see Twilight piece together the outcome as her eyes grew wide with worry.
"Sometimes the damage is small, if they are discovered quickly, but more often than not they slip through the cracks, killing and turning others before the community can act. We've lost entire cities to stories like that," Morenth finished, withdrawing from conversation as he reflected on his own words.
Once again the two companions traveled in silence as Twilight tried to come to terms with the thought of entire cities collapsing. She attempted to picture a city like Fillydilphia or Manehatten suddenly vanishing, but just couldn't wrap her mind around such a terrible loss of life. It felt unreal in scope.
Morenth had taken to brooding as he walked quietly beside her, refusing to answer any more of her questions. His face betrayed little of his emotions with the exception of his eyes that were burning holes into the ground at his feet.
Twilight's thoughts shifted to their destination as it became clear that Morenth's mood wasn't going to improve any time soon, reviewing every detail about the town her companion had given her.
Hollodrum was located just south-west of the Bloodwood. She recalled Morenth saying they made their living by trading the lumber they harvested from the dangerous forest. It was settled two hundred and thirty years ago, and had survived countless infestations of the undead to which Morenth went into great detail. As far as Twilight was concerned, he was the subject matter expert where those creatures were involved. She would remember that when she wrote a comprehensive report on Soulis when... if she ever returned home.
"Twilight."
The unicorn was snapped from her thoughts by Morenth's call as he pointed ahead to a looming wall of spaded logs coming into view through the forest's edge.
"Is that Hollodrum?" Twilight asked in amazement, bulking at the size of the town's walls. She hadn't expected such an imposing sight from what Morenth had described as a "small" village.
"It is," Morenth stated simply as he looked down at her with slight hesitation, "Twilight, while we're in town don't leave my side. The folk of Hollodrum are a hospitable sort, but I wouldn't trust them alone with you."
"But-" she began to argue, however Morenth shot her a look that brooked no debate.
"You're a unicorn, Twilight. A creature that hasn't been seen in thousands of years. You would make a rare commodity in the black markets of Midrasis. Hollodrum may bow to the power of the church, but this far out on the frontier it wouldn't be surprising if an opportunistic knave tried to make a quick fortune from selling you. If they took you, there would be little hope of regaining the freedom you now enjoy," her severe friend lectured, stopping suddenly as he noticed the fear in her eyes. "No need to look so frightened, I would never allow such a thing to befall my...m-my..."
Morenth began to perspire as he struggled with the last word, shifting his weight uncomfortably with the effort.
"-My charge," he breathed with a sigh of relief.
Twilight giggled at his inability to accept the word "friend", but let the matter drop. In truth, she found his embarrassment a refreshing break from the oppressively dark world she found herself in.
Her friend huffed as he regained his composure, casting an agitated glare her way before they resumed their trek towards the gates.
"And besides, frontier folk tend to be a bit more than a little suspicious about anything out of the ordinary... Superstitious gits," Morenth said under his breath.
Morenth was in a state he hadn't expected to find himself since his days as a neophyte. He wasn't used to being flustered, and even less so by a purple unicorn.
The paladin managed to master himself before they reached Hollodrum's gate, only to find their way blocked by the sentry on duty.
"Halt! State your business," the gate guard demanded, thrusting his polearm's shaft into the dirt with a heavy thud. "And any reason you would have me believe for you traveling the dark roads."
The guard was a veteran by his age, but far too old to pose a serious threat. His hair was a sickly grey that clung to his head as he perspired under his chain mail and leather jerkin.
"My business is my own. I'll not be interrogated by tired old men," Morenth responded heatedly, annoyed by the presumptuous fool.
"Morenth! You don't have to be so rude, he's just doing his job!" Twilight interjected quickly, moving around from behind the paladin to apologize for the slight. "I'm so sorry for my friend's attitude, he's had a rough couple of days."
Twilight shot Morenth a scathing look as she bowed her head apologetically, missing the reaction on the guard's face.
"What foul witchcraft is this!?" the grizzled guard exclaimed, falling back into a ready stance with his halberd. "The creature talks! I'll not fall for your devilry, daemon!"
Morenth's anger flared suddenly at the guard's derogatory insult, immediately reaching for Dawnbringer's hilt.
"I'll not suffer you to insult a unicorn with your vulgar ignorance in my presence!" the paladin shouted, forcing the old fool to stumble back a few steps.
"U-unicorn?!" the guard stammered as he found his balance. "Nonsense, they're just a bunch o' fairy tales and bedtime stories for children!"
"But a daemon from Tartarus is more believable?" Twilight queried incredulously.
Morenth noted her use of the familiar term for the daemon world with unease, filing it away as something to ask her about later.
Thankfully, the guard appeared more confused as to whether his intelligence had just been insulted than at the question of Twilight's origins.
The old sentry regarded Twilight with suspicion bordering on hostility before looking once again to the paladin, sizing him up with wary eyes. His gaze stopped abruptly at the amulet around Morenth's neck, taking in the severity of who he was threatening.
"My apologies sir! I didn't realize you were a knight of Yuelith!" the suddenly polite guard exclaimed, managing a hasty bow while the paladin clicked his tongue in disgust.
'You bend knee too easily.'
"Indeed," Morenth commented, cocking an eyebrow expectantly as he released the grip on his sword, "Am I to expect passage, or should my companion and I plan on being delayed further?"
"Oh no sir, any o' the goddesses' flock are welcome in Hollodrum," the guard declared, whipping his head behind him to the walls. "Open the gate!"
Twilight moved at a trot beside Morenth as he made his way toward the opening portcullis.
"Knight of Yuelith huh?" the unicorn asked, looking at the paladin with exasperation, "Funny how that never came up."
The dripping sarcasm in her voice forced a defeated sigh from Morenth as he prepared to explain.
"Ask your questions Twilight. I'm sure you've enough to fill a book at this point," the tired paladin quipped, expecting a heated denial for his efforts.
"Three books actually," Twilight chirped, appearing quite pleased with herself before continuing, "First, who is Yuelith? The guard mentioned she was a goddess. Is she the ruler of Soulis?"
Morenth snorted in amusement, catching himself before he could laugh at the ridiculous image of High King Braxus IV with a loose fitting gown and tits.
"No Twilight," the paladin replied in a lecturing tone, struggling valiantly to keep a straight face as the image of the high king declared himself a goddess in the most feminine voice the grizzled old hero could muster. "Yuelith protects and guides us from a higher plane, watching over us in the form of the sun. It is by her grace the undead are unable to face the light of day."
"Oh... Y-yeah?" Twilight murmured falteringly, lowering her head in sudden depression, "A goddess of the sun huh...?"
Morenth's inner mirth died quickly in the face of his companions downcast expression.
They walked in silence once more while they made there way down the muddy alleys of Hollodrum, avoiding the main street to bypass the crowds of people that would likely make a scene if Twilight just strutted into their midst. The narrow side-streets offered privacy, but only served to dampen the mood that had settled over the two as they passed between dilapidated buildings of grey mortar and faded wood.
"This is our first stop," Morenth intoned as he motioned to a two story structure further down the path with a sign hanging over the entrance. A pair of crossing hammers adorned its weathered face.
The paladin walked through the open doorway when Twilight nodded without comment, knocking on the frame as he passed. A wave of heat and the rhythmic sound of clanging metal greeted him as he crossed the threshold, causing Morenth great physical discomfort as he began to sweat beneath his travel worn armor.
Twilight sucked in a quick breath as she entered the sweltering smithy behind him.
"What is this place?" the unicorn asked, drawn out from her sulking by renewed curiosity.
"A smithy. I need an armorer to repair my equipment," Morenth explained as he turned to scrutinize Twilight, fully inspecting her for sizes and measurements, "And to special order some protective equipment for yourself as well, since I assume you won't be looking to set up residence here in Hollodrum."
"Of course not! I have friends and family to go back to, and I can't afford to waste any time here. But I don't have money to pay for any of this," the lavender mare disputed, gesturing to the many display items of steel plate and chain mails adorning the walls.
"Don't worry Twilight, I'll cover the expenses," Morenth said, raising a hand as she looked ready to start arguing again, "Think of it as an investment. We'll be sharing the road for a while I expect. At least until you find a clue as to how you ended up in Soulis, and unless I'm mistaken you appear to be well versed in the arcane. A very useful skill to have in, and out of combat."
Before Twilight could respond, their conversation was interupted by the abrupt silence of the smithy, and the not so silent footfalls coming from the adjoining room of the smithy's forge.
"Who be messin' 'round in me shop withou' knockin'!? It be common courtesy ta announce yerselves when enterin' someone's home ye know!" bellowed a deep voice punctuated by loud, thundering footsteps.
The source of the voice was a large, grey bearded man with stocky legs and a huge barreled chest. His bulk filled the doorway as he squeezed his way through, groaning under his breath about what the proper size of doors should be.
"What're ye about, stormin' into me home?" the smithy asked gruffly, making his way over to the store's counter. "Don't ya gits know I got orders ta fill?"
"And one more to fill, if your skills are up to it," Morenth answered, unfazed by the boisterous display, reaching for the exposed straps of his half-plate cuirass with some effort.
He removed his armor in pieces, laying the battered mail, and sleeved brigandine vest on the counter in front of the impatient smithy. When finished, he wore only his white long coat as protection which was similarly battle worn, showing multiple cuts and tears smeared with dried blood. The coat would have to be mended as well, but that was no job for a blacksmith.
"Morenth?!" Twilight asked, distressed by what she must have assumed where open wounds.
"It's fine Twilight, they've already healed." the paladin replied as the stout smithy turned his curious eye from Morenth's scarred armor, seeking the source of the distraught voice.
When the armorer found the speaker's horned head halfway over the counter looking at Morenth with worry, he simply shrugged in an awesome display of acceptance. Either that or he just assumed he was hallucinating that a talking purple unicorn was standing in his shop and decided not to ask questions.
Turning his attention back to the ruined equipment, the blacksmith grunted in disapproval as he picked up Morenth's left gauntlet and ran his hand over the caved in steel.
"Must o' been some fight ta do this kind of damage. The steels a lil' ruff 'round the edges but it's sturdy work."
The armorer gave the breast plate on the counter a few taps with his massive fist, listening to the sound intently as he gauged the task before him.
"Shouldn't take me more than a few hours to mend the plates, but why's a knight wearin' such shoddily crafted armor?" the smithy with a half cocked grin, shifting the pile onto a sheaf of leather to carry. "Might ye've fallen on some hard times?"
Morenth scoffed at the claim.
"Hardly. My old suit got dowsed in acid, and as you can imagine, was beyond any smith's abilities to repair," the paladin explained, withdrawing the pouch from his belt that contained his travel funds.
"Well me'thinks ye should'a paid for somthin' better than yer last suit by the looks of it," the armorer commented wryly as he lifted the sack and walked back to his forge.
"Acid? How in Celestia's name did you end up covered in acid?" Twilight asked as the smithy left the room, looking at the paladin skeptically.
"Ulegroth," Morenth replied tersely as the armorer made his way back through the entrance of the forge, offering nothing further in an obvious attempt to pay her back for the unending flood of questions she'd inundated him with that morning.
"Tha'll be ten pieces silver an' two copper knuts when ye pick it up," the smith announced as he moved to the shop's exit to see them out.
"That's not the entire order," the paladin intoned, holding out a hand to bar the smith's path, "I'd also like some armor made for my companion here."
Morenth motioned to an embarrassed looking Twilight.
"Oh? Then it's real is it? Thought fer a moment ay was losin' me head," the armorer said with a shrug, leaning over to inspect the lavender unicorn, "Will then lil' missy, what ye got in mind?"
Interesting AN
*authors comment* Dat aint typical
1757233
While I usually ignore dark fics, this one seems...interesting enough that you've caught my attention. How 'dark' would you rate this fic if you had to put it into words.
1783319
Atramentous!!!.... But no, when I say dark I mean a story with a dark premise, not just all horrible death, murder, and tragedy. Though that will happen often enough, I find it is the characters outlook that makes the differance between a dark fantasy and a horror story. There will be plenty of death and loss, but Twilight has a strong piller in Morenth, and while he may falter sometimes he has Twilight to support him as well. The idea of the story is that while darkness and evil may seem insurmountable, it is the will to move forward regardless that truly seperates heros from legends.
And while Morenth has alot of experiance over Twilight, her abillity to learn and her raw talent will definately see her through.
So many people who do 'dark' fics over do it or take it seriously to the point of self-parody. Usually when I see the dark tag I go into it expecting something like
, just less actual intentional parody.
While I'm still hesitant I'll at least give it a shot now. Thanks for replying.
Love how easily the SMith accepted Twillight, that was just awsome.
Yay for updates!
2 dislikes?
1784299
They should be burned at the stake.
No hate people. Though I do find it concerning when someone down thumbs and doesn't tell me why.
Good Chapter.
I also noticed the author's notes are on all stories now. This is a good update cause now the author can write updates, fixes etc.
In referance to the new story pic I'll just say that Morenth's old armor was much cooler than his current set.
This was the closest I could find to how Morenth looks in my head.
178344
"And while Morenth has alot of experiance over Twilight, her abillity to learn and her raw talent will definately see her through."
Spoilers! Just kidding, well wrote sirrah I must admit this is quite the tale. I honestly can only say that the dislikes are likely JUST because your story has humans in it it's common for people to rate simply after reading the premise. Don't take it to heart lad. I'm surprised Twilight wouldn't speak out more against the armor I don't see her as the type to wear such, and at this point I'm wishing more and more that a companion had been dragged along with her. xD
Write on good fellow this is a tale worthy of the greatest bards and story halls!
1784719
In all reality its probably people who dislike just to dislike, or its people who can't handle that your story is superior.
Dislikes will always be there, regardless of how good the story is. Your story has done an excellent job with the ratio between likes - dislikes, so keep up the good work.
"in the hopes that humanity is worth saving."
A little overoptimistic I see.
Good update, can't wait to see Twilight huffing and puffing under chainmail.
1783441 I honestly prefer dark to grimdark. I find grimdark fics to be pointless spirals of suffering leading to an inevitable horrific end. In dark fics, well, the protagonists just might earn their happy endings or at least settle for something bittersweet.
1783441
Hmmm, better than I expected honestly.
I'm a little torn on it right now. There's some minor grammar and spelling errors that I saw but nothing that totally pulled me out of the story. However I think your protagonist is in dire need of some character development. Along with your world too. I would really REALLY like to see more to Morenth, his order, and in general the world. . You haven't lost me yet but I'm kind of dying to see Morenth show a facet of him other than UNDEAD-SMASH, or brooding.
1810546
Funny you should say that. This upcoming chapter you will see a new side of Morenth besides "undead-smash" (I lol'd a little when I read that) though I can't promise no more brooding (amendment). And you raise a good point about developing the world they inhabit, but I just can't introduce it all at once. It doesn't tend to read well when a character just goes off on random thought tangents, and long detailed dialogue to explain the political situation as well as governance, economics, and history puts one on a dangerous path to derailing the story from progression and pacing. So im trying to bring aspects about the world to light as they are discovered or become pertinent to the story. Its also because Morenth as a character doesn't really talk about much but what directly effects the present or near future.
As for Morenth's order, you wont see much of them for a while, but there will be explanations as to his role within the organisation and its significant influence over his development over the course of his life.
1788029
That depends on your definition of "good and evil". Even viruses and germs so likened to evil because of there universal intent on human life is no more than life struggling to survive. By this logic, survival is evil and we are most assuredly undeserving of salvation, not by the laws of religion but by the logic of the whole. It is my belief that nothing is inherently good or evil, simply a mix of cause and effect.
I believe not in the rightiousness of humanity, but in our potential as a species.
1810716
I can appreciate that. I'm not looking for everything up front but, there's not really a lot driving the story right now. The character interaction is kind of flat and so the only thing keeping (me) interested is the premise and the original hook, there's nothing driving anything now. While that can go on for a while and we can do the slow exploration along with Twilight (since she is pretty much the reader's vessel of "knowledge") I feel that your setting has a lot to offer and expanding either upon that or the inhabitants will give the greatest rewards.
Keep in mind showing us the world doesn't have to include a lot of the things you suggested. Indeed huge amounts of it will be glossed over for the sake of readability (unless you're going to turn this into some nightmare-ish slog fest about medieval political culture) but there's a lot there you can do as well. I'm hardly looking for a dissertation but so far the world is the most interesting aspect of what you've wrote. At least until we get some more spotlight time for Morenth.
1811438
Oh heavens no, as if I would subscribe to such asinine teleology. My implication was simply that there is no need to justify any sort of saving for ourselves as a species, even if logic by group consciousness existed. Whether "potential as a species" or "worth as a species" is even definable in any sense is entirely based off a subjective subscription of values. In this case implying or even hoping for such a thing already throws back to assumed moral qualifications; of which was what I was originally addressing.
1814320
Then perhaps I am an optimist. And a hopless romantic.
You're riddles or what ever those are at the beginning and the end of each chapter is cool yet terrifying for some reason
My first question would have been "why did you react that way when I mentioned dark magic?"
'kings or surfs'
serfs*
I enjoy your writing, but occasionally your spelling leaves something to be desired. Don't worry, it isn't personal and I love the story.
1787318
Basically, it's a primitive version of
"To dislike, or not to dislike. That is the question."
"none-stop should be "non-stop"
"somthing should be "something"
"last rights should be "last rites"
"Phillydilphia" should be "Fillydelphia" according to the official map
"refuseing" should be "refusing"
no capitalization after an ellipsis unless you start a new sentence
"snapped from for thoughts" should be "snapped from her thoughts"
"composer" should be "composure"
"nonsense" should be capitalized, "fairy tails" should be "fairy tales"
"quarried" should be queried"
"intelligance" should be "intelligence"
"amusment" should be "amusement"
"rediculous" should be "ridiculous"
"delapedated" should be "dilapidated"
"but its sturdy work" should be "but it's sturdy work"
"shodely" should by "shoddily"
there should probably only be one "then" in this sentence
"embarrased" should be "embarrassed"
should be "Then it's real"