After saving her foal sitter from the mines below Canterlot, Chrysalis is forced to play her hoof to stop twilight from derailing her plans. Unfortunately this causes a stalemate between Twilight and the insect Queen, and the Queen has no plans of giving up.
Now now, I won' claim ta be th' next Mark Twain, but this 's most certainly somethin' I can be proud of. Mo' of an exercise really, tho'. I will revise this at a later date. Enjoy, y'all!
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Hm.. I need to see what happens next.
It's pretty fantastic so far. cheers
1637746
Why Thank ya' kindly!
1637796
Well, T'aint one ta' judge, friend; but I hope that makes ya' feel betta!
1638868
I think ya' will be pleased as punch!
1650564
Cheers to you too, friend! I hope ya' will enjoy where the tale goes!
it looks good so far, grammatical mistakes aside. i do however have a question or two.
what is Deus Ex-machina? if its some kind of video game reference you may want to leave it out of future chapters, it really breaks the flow of the story.
also this
i was under the impression that chrysalis and twilight where in the room alone until that point, what happened?
1656144
I meant to impart no flummoxing my friend, so I'll clear a few things up fo' ya'. Deus Ex Machina is one of them "literary devices" where an impossible or uncounted fo' solution presents it's self out a' thin air at the last minute. Often times it takes the form a' "The power was in you the whole time," or the direct intervention of a supa'natural force. Fo' yo' consideration, it would be like how Twilight found out that she an' her friends where the EOH th' whole time, and being able vanquish nightmare moon right at th' last minute. The original plan neva' panned out, but the EOH saved the day with almos' no fo'warning. As per my mentioning of it in th' text, opposed to keeping it subtle, was an overtone fo' comedic effect.
As per the second part of your comment, the Ballroom was indeed filled with all th' present guests, as the deviation occurs befo'e the invitee's were given time to sufficiently get outa' Dodge, so ta' say. I will see if I can clear that up now, but I won't touch this story too much befo'e I get it rewritten.
1657665
ah, thanks for clearing that up. i look forward to the next chapter
i don't get it, this is a very good story how does it have 10 thumbs down, I'v read lots of stories that aren't as good as this one and they got more thumbs up
1665772
Well now, ma' ego 's mighty appreciative fo' the strokin', but to be an honest colt Ah'd just assumed that ma' prose jus' rubbed some hosses th' wrong way. 'Taint got any critique or complaints, jus' reprimands. Ain't lettin' get my gander, tho, Ah got bigger oysters to shuck.
Ah did see ya' favor this lil' number, Ah should mention that it is bein' scrapped soon and assimilated inta' the prologue of "The Epic of the Wisterian Empress" as chapta' five. Giv' that number a peak if'n you eva' find th' time.
Thank ya' kindly fo' the support, Ah am glad ya' enjoyed!
1665819
and the fact it's a bit confusing
i read that this morning and i as soon i was done i wanted to read more of that one
your welcome X3
1665882
Again ta' make an honest colt outa' ya's truly, Ah wrote this with not much plannin', but Empress will be much betta' off. I hop' ta make "pressure" a lil betta when it becomes a part of Empress.
1665910
i like the confusingness it made it hard to know what's coming that's also the main reason i wanted to keep reading X3
good luck
1665941
Ah try not to flummox mah readers too much, but if ya' liked that then all's well.
Unda'neith that thar' header image, ya' should be lookin' at ya' green control bar. Hova' ya' pointa' ova' ya' screen name and a drop down menu should appear. Down at th' bottom of the menu thar' should be a check box.
1665959
sorry if i seem like im trying to stop you from scrapping this, i say things without thinking so people misunderstand me a lot
yea i just worked it out
1665981
Ya' not th' one unnecessarily typin' on the internet wit' a country idiom for th' sake a' confuzzling otha's, so Ah assure ya' I gleaned no such thing from ya' comments, so try not ta' worry 'bout it, Sly!
1666012
thanks X3
1666020
'Taint 'nuthin, friend.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! why cancel?
1727171
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/89988
'Ere ya' go, friend.
1727200
I wasr this want be chrylight fic.(Also known forbidden love is the best kind of love, my dear twilight) like popular story molded to love,running away,Even Changelings Wear Masks,How I learned to stop worrying and love the Changeling,And Hearts Will Change
I wasn't sure this going to one i hope it would for some strange in my soul