II: Batteries
Robotic Stallion: Love Machines
Author: HoovesLikeJagger
Chapter 2
"Dinner is served everypony!" Cadence announced as she entered the dining room with several platters of food floating behind her. She set the lavish repast upon the table, allowing the battalion of smells to invade her guests' noses. She'd enlisted a vegetable lasagna as the main course and steam asparagus as a side dish. Sweet potatoes armed with gooey marshmallows and a pile of freshly baked dinner rolls were also conscripted into the regiment. There was also an apple pie and plenty of vanilla ice cream in the reserves, just in case there were any survivors. The outcome of this meal looked bleak for hunger.
Everypony was about to dig in to the scrumptious looking meal, but Cadence stopped them.
"Let's not be hasty, everypony," she said. All the ponies at the table reluctantly complied, but each wore their desire to just begin eating on their faces. Even Princess Celestia had a hungry look behind her regal composure. "We should wait until everypony is at the table."
"Who do you mean?" Twilight asked. Cadence smiled directly at her, making Twilight more than just a little nervous. There was mischief written all over Cadence's face.
"The two, fine gentlecolts you brought should be arriving any moment now," Cadence said. Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged a confused look.
"Oh, are they feeling better?" Shining Armor asked.
"I hope so, I've been dying to meet these mystery colts ever since Cadence mentioned them," Twilight's mother said, putting her hoof onto her husband's hoof and giving him a loving look. It was one of those moments where the two of them were forced to come to grips with how grown up their children were.
"Yes, Cadence has told us so much... or, she's told us about them... she... told us they." Twilight's father searched for the right words as his smile faded. After a brief bout of muttering to himself, his smile spread again as he finally decided on what to say. "We know they exist!"
"I for one was surprised to hear of such a development from the two of you," Princess Celestia said. "I didn't even know you were looking, so to speak." Celestia's honeyed chuckle was received by two strained chuckles from Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah... it all happened pretty quickly," Twilight said. She didn't have it in her to lie to the Princess and hiding certain truths from her made her jumpy. Rainbow Dash was all too aware of this, though. She listened to Twilight very carefully, just to make sure she didn't let the wrong detail slip. "Most of our friends are married now, so it's just something that was in the back of our minds. It was just a matter of time!" Twilight made another strained attempt to laugh.
"I suppose you're right," Celestia said with a sage nod. "So, tell us about these fine gentlecolts."
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but Rainbow Dash extended her wing and whapped her right on the nose. She couldn't risk Twilight spilling the beans right off the bat.
"They're ponies we know." Rainbow Dash's vague answer raised a few eyebrows, but they couldn't argue with the logic. "We've known them for a while now."
"Do we know them?" Celestia asked.
"Yes," Twilight said, but was cut off by another strike of Rainbow Dash's wing before she could elaborate.
"Just let them explain themselves when they get here," Cadence urged.
"What makes you so sure they're coming?" Twilight asked. Cadence's guilt made her smile and divert her eyes to the ceiling, actions which made Rainbow Dash and Twilight wonder just what she was up to.
"I know you said not to, buuuuuuut~"
"But what?" the two single mares asked in unison.
"I used my spell to wake them up," Cadence confessed. While Shining Armor and Twilight's parent's made remarks about how thoughtful Cadence's actions were, Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged looks of wide-eyed horror. They nodded to one another, each knowing what had to be done.
"Well, they probably got lost in the hall," Twilight said in a stiff tone as she pushed away from the table. "We'll go find them and bring them here." Twilight threw her family and mentor a quick, fabricated smile before heading towards the exit.
"Yeah, you guys just hang tight in here," Rainbow Dash said as she trotted after her friend, disappearing into the hallway. "Don't move!" she said after poking her head back in for a split second.
Once they were out of sight, the two mares made a mad dash for the sitting room. They prayed to their Princess at the dinner table that the two robots were just standing in the middle of the room, awaiting orders. They ran into a problem when no such robots were found.
"They're gone? Why are they gone? Where did they go to?" Twilight asked in rapid fire as she searched about the room.
"I think they went out," Rainbow Dash said, pointing to the two windows without glass in them. Both mares stared into the quiet night while a draft drifted into the window and through their manes.
"What exactly did Cadence do to them?" Twilight asked, dropping to the floor and holding her head in her hooves. "Those two could be out there burning Canterlot to the ground! We have to go after them!"
"If we find them and they are going on a rampage, how do we stop them?" Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight didn't even hear Rainbow Dash's question; her one-track mind was chugging away in a panicked frenzy.
"I'll ask around town while you search for them in the air! If they're apart, lure them together so we can have a chance at shutting them off!"
"Rrrright... but how will we-"
"No time! Just go!" Twilight shouted before jumping out the window and then taking off down the street. Rainbow Dash had never seen her astute friend run so fast. She took off through the window as well, soaring to the sky to see if she could find either of the metal menaces. There was no way of knowing what they would wreck if left unchecked.
"Halt, citizen. Do you know the whereabouts of one Twilight Sparkle or one Rainbow Dash?"
The two gentlecolts looked over their monocles at the unicorn parked right in front of them. One of his beefy hooves was extended before them, deviating them from their intended course towards the Canterlot Opera House. Due to his size and cold demeanor, they thought he might be a mugger or a thief, but then they saw he was wearing a bow tie. It seemed unlikely that a thief would done a bow tie, so they heard his query out.
"Apologies sir, but we don't know who those ponies are," one gentlecolt explained while the other nodded in confirmation. Nil put his hoof down with a loud whir, a sound that didn't register in either gentlecolt's brain.
"Carry on," Nil droned. The ponies before him bowed before both parties departed in opposite directions. While walking, Nil cycled his head back and forth, scanning his surroundings for any sign of his targets. His optical sensors indicated movement above him, so he zeroed in on the object and identified it as his companion Null. Null landed with a graceful thud on the cobble street.
"This unit's sweep of this area has turned up no results. Has Nil produced any usable results?" Null asked.
"Negative," Nil responded. "Probability of success will increase by adjusting search area to the next city block."
"Affirmative. Beginning aerial sweep protocols." Null spread his wings and took off into the sky again. Nil marched ahead on the ground, heading to the next block in order to gather information from the citizens in the area. So far, nopony could provide him with any useful or relevant information, but not asking would decrease his probability of success in his mission.
Meanwhile, Null flew overhead and scanned the streets with a bird's eye view. There weren't too many ponies out this late at night, which made his search easier since he didn't have to examine large crowds. This made searching from a high altitude easier as well, which he had opted to do in order to avoid the need to calculate Canterlot's tall buildings into his flight pattern. He could keep his eyes pointed down whilst he flew, except for the occasional glance upwards to ensure he wasn't about to run into a pedestrian. Soon enough, his targets would located without incident.
*thunk*
Null's flight instrumentation went bonkers as something rammed into his head from his nine o'clock. He fought to right himself and restore his power of flight, but his newfound momentum was too staggering to counteract. He fell, spinning, into the roof of a nearby skyscraper. After going through the roof, he fell through a dining room table, the floor, a hot tub, the floor, a collection of priceless antiques, the floor, and a pool table before coming to a halt on the second floor of the now destroyed apartment building. At this point the structural integrity of the building was vastly compromised, so the second floor simply gave way.
"Hah, he wasn't so tough," Rainbow Dash said to herself as she observed the result of her assault on Null. "Big Lugnut didn't even budge when I punched him in the face." No sooner has she finished gloating when a streak of blue rose up from the hole in the building's roof. She expected the mechanical stallion to come after her, but instead it made a beeline for the ground. She flew after him, not wanting him to do any more damage.
"Evacuate the area, citizens. Data indicates this building is structurally unsound," Null said, letting down the three ponies he'd carried from the destroyed building. "Contact the proper authorities and the local stone mason." The rescued ponies thanked their mysterious savior, completely oblivious to the fact that he had been the cause of their home's destruction. In Null's defense, it wasn't entirely his fault.
"Hey! Bolts-For-Brains!" Rainbow Dash yelled from above. Everypony but Null looked up at her.
"If you are experiencing any physical pain or suspect you have been injured, transport yourself to the nearest infirmary," Null continued to council the ponies he'd rescued. The term "Bolts-For-Brains" was not a registered name in his data storage.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!"
This time, Null turned his head. He'd ignored the previous outburst, but since the second had potential to be addressed to him he analyzed it to see if the speech matched anypony he'd encountered before. When he ran it against Rainbow Dash's voice he got a match. Looking behind him, he gained visual confirmation of his primary target. He spread his wings and flew up after her, leaving a trail of blue sparks and azure static in his wake.
"Yeah, come and get me!" Rainbow Dash taunted. She streaked off, killing any sort of chance Null had at catching her.
"Affirmative. Engaging pursuit," Null responded. His wings flashed momentarily before he gave them a mighty beat. His metal chasis screamed through the sky after the blue pegasus.
Prompted by the sound of a large crash, Nil cantered over to the source of the noise in order to assess the situation. Based on the volume of the crash, he calculated a very high probability that his target heard the noise as well. At the scene of the destruction, he scanned the growing crowd of citizens for Twilight Sparkle.
"What even happened here?" Nil caught a citizen asking.
"I don't know. It looks like a meteorite fell on the thing."
Nil dismissed the notion of a meteorite immediately. If any spacial debris fell to earth, his optical sensors would have seen it before the crash happened. The probability of him missing the sight of a meteorite was dismissively low. He resumed his search for Twilight Sparkle.
"There's somepony trapped inside!"
Nil turned his attention towards the building and looked it over. The probability of the trapped pony being Twilight Sparkle could not be overlooked. Although he checked and double checked the crumbling structure, his optical sensors didn't see signs of anypony. He did, however, see a group of stallions trying to remove some rubble blocking the entrance. Their efforts were proving futile, but Nil calculated he could move the rock with ease. He made his way through the crowd, intending to rectify the situation and ascertain the identity of the trapped pony.
There were protests from several bronze-clad stallions as he approached the rubble, but they were unsuccessful in physically stopping him. He stopped before the doorway and took another, closer look at the dislodged piece of building blocking it. It was but a trivial chunk of concrete and iron. His audio sensors picked up the muffled calls of a female voice from behind the door, so he decided to forgo any further structural analysis of the rubble and simply spring into action.
A crackling, blue bolt of energy jumped from his horn and hit the concrete chunk. The rock itself lit up with a dull blue while electricity arced across it. Nil began lifting it away, but slowly to prevent damage to nearby structures. With the rock levitated safely above his head, a group of stallions rushed to open the door to the damaged building. Nil locked onto the mare who emerged, but found she was not Twilight Sparkle. The pony before him was much too young.
"My baby!"
"Mommy!" A mare rushed forward and swept the filly into her hooves. The crowd that had gathered cheered for the mysterious hero. Nil shifted his focus from the scene, needing to resume the search for his target. Before he could depart, he needed to find a safe place to set down the slab of concrete.
*boom*
Nil's telepathic grip fizzled out as the rock he'd been carrying exploded, sending a cascade of small stones into the crowd. Nil scanned over the crowd, trying to determine what had disposed of the debris.
"Alright, stop right there!" Twilight Sparkle shouted as she pushed her way through the crowd. Her horn smoked from recent use, but it still glowed violet with another shot ready to fire. Nil, who was busy making sure the probability was one hundred percent for the mare before him being Twilight Sparkle, didn't react as a stream of magic jumped out and grabbed him.
Twilight Sparkle reached into Nil, but she found that she was unable to reprogram him. Whatever Cadence did to him, she couldn't undo.
"Target located," Nil stated after getting a positive identification. Twilight noticed that the machine was coming towards her. She hadn't thought her plan out quite this far, so in her panic she decided to just turn tail and run.
"Target fleeing. Initiating pursuit." Nil broke into an all out gallop. Twilight sped up to attempt to outrun him, but she seriously underestimated how fleet the machine was. Nil was past and then in front of her only moments after she exited the crowd around the building. "Target attained. Initiating prima-"
Twilight didn't give him time to finish. She lit her horn and teleported out of there. Nil scanned the surrounding area for any sign of her, but she was nowhere to be found.
"Error. Target lost." Nil resumed his search, calculating that the probability of her being nearby was high. In a nearby alleyway, Twilight peeked out to make sure she was no longer being followed. Nil was heading away from her down the street. She was relieved, until she remembered that she needed to lure Nil to Null somehow.
"Great... just great," Twilight said to herself. She stepped out of the alley and yelled at Nil. "Hey, Nil! I'm over here!"
Nil spun his head around and reestablished visuals on his target. This time, she would not be allowed to escape.
A big, clunky robot like Null had no business trying to outfly a Wonderbolt. Rainbow Dash had years and years of flying experience and training under her belt. Top speed for most pegasi her age was a leisurely glide for her. She broke the sound barrier whenever it pleased her. Not even her fellow Wonderbolts boasted her incredible talent paired with dedicated training. The air was her domain. Even if he was a machine, Null was an incalculable fool for even entertaining the thought of overtaking the pony some considered speed incarnate.
All that aside, there was something to be said about the infinite stamina of a robot.
"He... is... p-*pant*-ersistent... I'll gi... give him that," Rainbow Dash said, wheezing all the while. She'd flown circles and squares and every other shape she could think of around and over the city, but she'd failed to track down Twilight Sparkle or Nil. Now she was running on fumes and an empty stomach. Forgetting she had a mechanical pursuer, she stopped and alighted on a cloud in order to catch her breath.
"Escape is futile. Target at-" Null's voice cut off as he blew clean through the cloud. Rainbow Dash leaned over the hole to see where he went. "Attained." She jumped when Null popped up behind her. He landed on the fluffy cloud, which Rainbow Dash was surprised to see held him up.
"Uh-oh." Rainbow Dash had nowhere to run. Well, she had the open sky around her, but she was too tired to use any of her escape routes. Null towered over her.
"Initiating primary programming," he said. Rainbow Dash held her eyes shut, getting ready for whatever the machine had in store for her. She waited to be shot by a laser, to be stomped into smithereens, to be dropped from outer space. She waited. She did a lot of waiting. She did so much waiting she began to wonder if she was already dead. She popped one eye open.
Null was just standing there silent as a statue, looking down at her.
"Aren't you... going to crush me?" Rainbow Dash asked. She didn't want to be crushed, killed, destroyed or anything of the sort, but if it was going to happen she wanted to just get it over with.
"Negative. Crushing you would interfere with my primary programming," Null explained. Rainbow Dash stopped cowering so she could make a confused expression at Null.
"You're not going to crush me?" she asked.
"Negative."
"Are you going to crush the city?"
"Negative."
"Are you going to crush anything?"
"Answer is variable. If crushing aligns with my primary programming, crushing will be carried out without fail," Null said.
"How about no crushing at all?" Rainbow Dash suggested, still a little afraid of what might happen to her if she hung around too long. Her breath was returning. She just needed to stall him a little longer.
"Is crushing not a course of action Rainbow Dash favors?" Null asked. Rainbow Dash shook her head. She shook her head for dear life. "This unit will factor this suggestion into his future actions. Know that this unit will crush if crushing is necessary to fulfill its primary function."
"What... is your primary function?" Rainbow Dash asked. She stretched her wings out. They were a bit tight from overuse, but she had more than enough in her to make a daring escape.
"To love Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow Dash nearly tumbled off the cloud as her escape attempt was halted by complete and utter disbelief. She landed back on the cloud and gawked up at Null.
"Repeat that."
"How many times?" Null asked.
"Huh?"
"Error. Cannot multiply non-integer by non-integer."
"No, no, no. What did you say your primary function was," Rainbow Dash said, clarifying what her exact query was.
"To love Rainbow Dash."
She let that sink in for a few seconds. Null basically just said he loved her. Rainbow Dash never had a stallion just tell her that straight out. She'd always hoped her first confession would be a bit more... alive.
"Uh.... huh. So... do you even know how to love somepony?" Rainbow Dash asked. Null remained quiet. He silently searched through his memory for the proper way to execute his "Love" programming.
"Affirmative."
"Can't you just say 'yes' and 'no' like everypony else?" Dash asked.
"Affirmative."
Rainbow Dash decided to fight that battle another day.
"Alright, then explain it to me. How do you plan on 'loving' me?"
Null examined his love function. Within the function to love was just a return of the love function; a recursive function. He could love Rainbow Dash by loving Rainbow Dash by loving Rainbow Dash in an infinite loop. He'd been running it before, but it did not appear to have any sort of measurable effect. He made an autonomous decision to rewrite the function so it would produce results. Based on his other functions, he set to work on deciding how the new "Love" function should operate.
"How should this unit love Rainbow Dash?" he asked. Rainbow Dash just continued staring at him. She was having an argument about love with a robot. She decided that when she saw Twilight again, she would make that unicorn promise not to wake up ancient machines no matter how hard Rainbow Dash pleaded.
"Look, buddy. You're a robot. Robots can't love," Rainbow Dash said.
"Negative. This unit can carry out the function," Null claimed.
"No, you can't," Rainbow Dash replied. "You can't do the things a stallion can do."
"Query: What functions can a stallion perform?" Null queried.
"For starters, stallions can be romantic." Rainbow Dash flipped her mane at Null. For one reason or another, she decided to get past the weirdness of talking to a machine. As long as he didn't try to kill her, he could ask all the questions he wanted. "You know? They know how to sweep a mare off her hooves, figuratively speaking, with just words. Poetry and stuff like that, I guess."
"Understood. This unit will knock Rainbow Dash off of her hooves with volumes cataloging works of prose."
"No, that's not it at all." Rainbow Dash shook her head while Null ran through the information she had given him over and over again. He couldn't find where he made an error. "You just can't be romantic. You don't know the way to a mare's heart."
"Through the ribcage."
"No!" Rainbow Dash broke in. "Not her actual heart, but her... like, emotional heart. That's why you can't love. You've got no emotions!"
Null was having trouble processing several things. As it stood, his love function wouldn't run without constant error. There were too many things that were undefined such as "sweep a mare off her hooves, figuratively speaking" and "emotional heart". There were also several lines that had something to do with poetry. He couldn't make heads or tails of what he was supposed to return once he ran everything.
"This unit does not understand. What purpose does the 'emotional heart' serve?"
"You know what? Figure it out yourself!" Rainbow Dash said. She had her breath back, so she decided it would be best to locate Twilight Sparkle. This time, she would do it at her leisure without worrying about a crazy robot chasing her.
Null stayed on the cloud, processing Rainbow Dash's final command.
"Affirmative."
Twilight Sparkle was growing impatient with the mechanical harbinger of her end. Five minutes ago he'd declared his target ascertained and stopped dead in front of her. She had her back to the wall in an alley, so if his plan was to destroy her he should've done it already.
"Are you going to stand there all night?" Twilight asked at long last. There was nothing more annoying than a hesitant antagonist.
"If events proceed as previously, the probability is high," Nil explained.
"What would you do if I left?" Twilight asked, searching the probability of her own escape.
"Nil would follow."
"And... what else?" Twilight waited for Nil to respond. Nil, on the other hoof, was dealing with another problem he'd encountered. He'd been running the love function since he cornered Twilight Sparkle, but doing so had produced no measurable results. The probability of the function being defective or incomplete was extremely high. He needed to edit the program so he could properly fulfill his primary function.
"Twilight Sparkle." The unicorn being addressed jumped, not expecting the machine to call to her by name. She thought that maybe this was it; this is the moment he shoots me with a laser beam or drops a big rock on me. Her magic was spent from teleporting too many times. With no way to resist, she braced herself for the end. "I request your assistance in rewriting function 'love'."
"... What?" Twilight was absolutely certain she heard that wrong. "You want me to... tell you how to love?"
"Affirmative."
"But, why?" Twilight asked. She knew she had originally woken Nil up with the intention of having him act as her special somepony, but she never specified any sort of way to love. She just programmed Nil and Null to follow orders. That was enough like love.
"To complete my primary function." Nil needed to carry out the love function on Twilight Sparkle. That was what he'd been programmed to do. Whether it was an action to be carried out once, twice, or constantly in her presence wasn't important. What was important was that he figure out how to carry out the function and then do so.
"What is your primary function?" Twilight asked, no longer certain that Nil was here to kill her.
"To love Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight's eye twitched. This was all Cadence's fault. If she'd just listened to Twilight and not used whatever spell she used on Nil and Null, this wouldn't be happening. Cadence just had to interfere and it was because it had something to do with Twilight's love life. She respected Cadence's authority on love, but it didn't give her the right to program robots to chase her around and ask her weird questions.
"Look, Nil. Just abandon your primary function. I don't want you to love me," Twilight said, but Nil would not be budged. There were warnings against this situation in the instructions on how to successfully carry out his primary function.
"Negative. This unit insists Twilight Sparkle assist with rewriting the love function."
Much to her chagrin, Twilight noted the irony of how hard-headed Nil was being.
"You're just a machine, Nil. You can't love anypony. It's just... not possible," Twilight said. She wasn't sure why she kept insisting; Nil wasn't listening.
"Correction: Nil will have the ability complete the love function once it is completed," Nil replied. Twilight realized reasoning with him normally wouldn't work. If he wanted to play this "love" game, she could play right along with him.
"Okay, so you want to love me? Alright, tell me how you feel about me."
Nil turned up an error. He did not have any "feel" to tell. Aside from visual and audio sensors, none of the other sensors were emulated in his system. He didn't have too much time to analyze the error as Twilight Sparkle kept going on.
"What are your intentions in courting me? What made you decide you liked me? Do you find me attractive? Do you want my body? Have you considered what I want in a relationship? Would you be willing to make the commitment long term? Well?"
Nil couldn't handle all these confusing queries at once. He searched for answers that might be relevant, but he came up with very little. Whatever he had though, he was bound to return it.
"Affirmative."
Twilight just shook her head.
"You're absolutely clueless. Beyond my help, really," she said, sticking her nose up and trotting past him. "You're on your own, but I doubt you would even ever think to bring flowers." Nil did not pursue her as she turned the corner out of the alley. She realized she didn't succeed in shutting him down, but now that she had no reason to fear Nil she could come up with a plan to shut him down at her leisure. The "Nothing Unusual Spell" appeared to be working still, so as long as he didn't go around tearing down buildings he could do whatever he wanted.
Nil stood in stoic silence, processing Twilight's final words. He calculated a few probabilities and checked a few of his protocols.
"Understood."
Spike couldn't sleep. The rhythmic thud of Lugnut's hoof on the floor in the next room was driving him crazy. Spike wished the stallion would just go to bed already, but the drake heard Applejack's orders for her husband. He was banned from coming upstairs until she was done lecturing Pippin on her behavior tonight. Applejack was steamed after unsuccessfully searching for her daughter in the orchards, so when she returned home to see Pippin attempting to escape out her window it set her over the edge. Pippin had planned to sneak out the window in order camp out in the clubhouse or at her best friend's place. Applejack punished her by sending the filly up to her room without supper, but then Pippin had the guts to reveal she'd already eaten.
Spike didn't know Applejack could even get so angry. When Lugnut wasn't as hard on Pippin as Applejack insisted he be, she turned on him as well. In order to give Pippin an untainted, uninterrupted, and unfiltered talking-to, Lugnut was forced to wait downstairs. Now he just stood there, tapping his hoof and waiting for the moment he could ascend the stairs. Spike folded his pillow over his ears, hoping to drown out the noise a little.
"C'mon up Lugnut, Ah'm done," Applejack called down the stairs as she crossed the hallway towards her room. Lugnut snorted and went up the stairs to the hall himself, but he immediately turned towards Pippin's room. "Hold it, mister. Where're y'all goin'?"
"She's my daughter too," Lugnut said. As much as it pained him, he stopped and turned around to argue with his wife. This late at night, he didn't need her yelling at him from down the hall. He remembered the first time he met her they argued in this very hallway. The memory didn't exactly make him nostalgic.
"After everythin' that's happened today, I think you'd have enough sense not to go 'n make me angry. Just come to bed. Ah don't need you goin' in there 'n undoing what I did," Applejack said, insisting he follow her with a tilt of her head. If she gestured to him with a hoof, she'd probably tip over. Then again, tipping over would be a good way to get him to come to her. If it didn't get him to come, he could forget about sleeping upstairs.
"I'm not going to 'undo' anything. I just want to make sure she's okay." Lugnut chose to ignore the odd parallels between this argument and the one six years ago. Applejack was too tired to keep arguing, which was saying something. Pippin could always be in trouble in the morning, anyway.
"Fine, but be to bed quickly," she said before storming off. She couldn't storm off very well with her huge belly, but what she lacked in range of motion she made up for in volume as she stomped her hooves. Lugnut rolled his eyes and made his way to his daughter's room.
Pippin's room was astonishingly clean most of the time. She didn't keep it clean out of fear or responsibility, though. Pippin kept her room clear because it was easier to hide things in a clean room. She would stash food, toys, mail, or whatever she could get her hooves on in secret spots under the toy chest or behind a book on her shelf. There even was one time she hid a whole apple pie, but nopony found it because she'd hidden it so well. There just didn't appear to be many places to hide something in her room, but Pippin was a creative little filly. If there was one point Lugnut and Applejack could agree upon these days, it was that Pippin should focus that creativity on something more constructive.
Right now, Pippin's room was in a bit of disarray. Lugnut could tell Applejack probably had the filly open up all her usual hiding places to make sure she wasn't stashing any sweets behind her back. He could also tell by the quietly sobbing filly curled up on top of her bed that Applejack's search had cleaned her out and Applejack's lecture had hurt her feelings. Lugnut knocked on the doorframe to alert Pippin of his presence. Pippin looked up at him for a second, but went right back to pretending she didn't want to cry.
"You okay, sugar?" he asked. He kept his tone gentle as possible, which wasn't hard since he wasn't angry with her. Applejack had been angry enough at her for tonight. Lugnut trotted over to her bedside and got down to her level. She didn't look at him or say anything. She sniffled, fighting back the tears trying to well up in her eyes and the burning in her throat.
"Ah-Ah'm fi-ine-ine," she said, trying not to sob. Lugnut stroked Pippin's back with his massive hoof. She was so tiny compared to him, he always felt bad whenever he yelled at her. Applejack, on the other hoof, had no remorse for calling out her daughter. He could tell because she did it every night: just like clockwork.
"It's okay if you feel bad," Lugnut said, leaning in to nuzzle the side of Pippin's face. She nuzzled back immediately, latching onto the much needed affection. Although Pippin tried in earnest to hold them back, a tear or two still stained Lugnut's muzzle.
"Ma's a me-eanie," she whimpered. She was close to blubbering, but she didn't want to cry in front of Lugnut. She didn't want to cry in front of anypony, really, but not Lugnut in particular.
"No, she's not a meanie," Lugnut said.
"Y-ya she i-is," Pippin responded, letting a sob escape. It would be easy for Lugnut to just agree, but he knew that wasn't right. Pippin did misbehave and Applejack did have plenty of reason not to be a happy camper. Besides, Applejack was pregnant; there wasn't much a pony could do without making her mad.
"Just give her time, sugar."
Lugnut spent a while longer in Pippin's room until she eventually fell asleep. He moved silently out of her room and closed the door behind him. He moved like a shadow into his own bedroom where Applejack was laying with her back to the door. Before Lugnut got in bed beside her, she made a sound. He wasn't sure what the sound was, but he was certain she was still awake.
"You okay?" he asked.
"... Ah'm fine."
Lugnut didn't press the issue any further. He slipped into the bed and the two of them lay in the darkness, back to back.
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Daaaaw poor pippin~
nice chapter. looking forward to how nil and null are going to misinterpret the commands. Twilight might awaken to an entire flower shop on her doorstep
keep it up!
I think it's "Cadance"
And then a robot penis sprang out of him and he POUNCED her!
...I mean, whut?
Mares. You're supposed to love them, and they won't even help reprogram you so you can. It's all take and no give with these two.
this is such a good story cant wait for moar
1811094
That is exactly how many snails and some octipi do it.
1815429 *Octopi
I'm editor. What'cha gonna do about it?
Also, this is relevant:
desertbus.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Octopimp2.jpg
1834103
I'm glad to see you're dedicated to fixing my mistakes even in these final moments of humanity.
1834164 Spelling is all I have left...
Why does it say it's cancelled?
It's not actually cancelled, is it???
I just finished reading the story about Big Lugnut so when I saw this I got really excited, then noticed it says cancelled, and now I'm sad...
It makes me sad that applejack is such a meanie, but i guess that's what a heavily pregnant orphan might do...