Hate is too strong a word, and irked is hardly any better but at least you updated again.
And here comes Foxtrot, I'm looking forward to what changes you're going to do with her. Also, at least Tes doesn't have a legitimate reason to 'get' Xero for anymore since they didn't really do anything in their intoxicated state...well, besides saying drunk talk and possibly making out...yeah I'll stop now
Also, here are some errors I found:
shard off a broken mirror - of
putting like ammo together and slipping the caps into their own spot- add things between putting and like.
but nopony like him- liked
I also noted Zelkoff's dialogue was off but I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not since his initial sentences weren't linked like that.
p.s:The indent paragraph feature has been around for quite a while, I didn't realize it until someone else pointed it out to me when I got my first story off the ground, which was more than 2 years ago.
5850613 Yeah... sorry for the sudden disappearance and random uploads. I think only you, Regolit, and one other person are the only three that read this thing. I really need to become an active member again and get some "street rep" as the kids say. :L
I'll look back into Zelkoff. There might be some things I forgot.
'putting like ammo' is actually correct. Well, kinda. I'll reword it, but i was trying to get out that it was putting 'same ammunition types' together. Might just change it to "putting like things together: .44's with .44's, tools with other tools, and caps with caps". its putting things that are alike in the same category.
EDIT: Shard off a broken mirror. Again, kind of like 'putting like things together', but this one more poorly chosen on my part. You know the phrase 'chip off the old block'? kinda like that. I changed it though, because after reading it a couple times, it could be taken either way and depending on who you are, it could look like a very obvious typo, a very poorly chosen word combination, or just fine. So in the end, I decided to nix it and went with something more clear.
5851518 Eh, I was just kidding on being irked since I'm in the same situation myself with my own story and the one I'm helping with. I think the lack of readership could be blamed on the occasional glitch of story updates not showing up on the feed page. I've missed 3 whole updates for a story before a chapter finally showed up.
Ah, I see though I suppose the wording threw me off but rewording the sentence structure into something simpler is advisable so that other readers don't stumble over them like I did.
Granted, english isn't my first language so some phrases are confusing to me, especially L33tspeak.
5853290 Nope, Chinese is, followed by English though it was my best subject when I was a kid so I understand the standard stuff though popculture references fly over my head since I don't live where the references come from...which is funny since Fallout 3, the first Fallout game I ever played was full of them.
Like I said, how about a chapter from foxtrot's perspective? Remember, there was TWO DAYS between when xero got shot by Golden Bit and the time he woke up. What did foxtrot and Tes do in that time?
Hate is too strong a word, and irked is hardly any better but at least you updated again.
And here comes Foxtrot, I'm looking forward to what changes you're going to do with her. Also, at least Tes doesn't have a legitimate reason to 'get' Xero for anymore since they didn't really do anything in their intoxicated state...well, besides saying drunk talk and possibly making out...yeah I'll stop now
Also, here are some errors I found:
shard off a broken mirror - of
putting like ammo together and slipping the caps into their own spot- add things between putting and like.
but nopony like him- liked
I also noted Zelkoff's dialogue was off but I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not since his initial sentences weren't linked like that.
p.s:The indent paragraph feature has been around for quite a while, I didn't realize it until someone else pointed it out to me when I got my first story off the ground, which was more than 2 years ago.
5850613
Yeah... sorry for the sudden disappearance and random uploads. I think only you, Regolit, and one other person are the only three that read this thing. I really need to become an active member again and get some "street rep" as the kids say. :L
I'll look back into Zelkoff. There might be some things I forgot.
'putting like ammo' is actually correct. Well, kinda. I'll reword it, but i was trying to get out that it was putting 'same ammunition types' together. Might just change it to "putting like things together: .44's with .44's, tools with other tools, and caps with caps". its putting things that are alike in the same category.
EDIT: Shard off a broken mirror. Again, kind of like 'putting like things together', but this one more poorly chosen on my part. You know the phrase 'chip off the old block'? kinda like that. I changed it though, because after reading it a couple times, it could be taken either way and depending on who you are, it could look like a very obvious typo, a very poorly chosen word combination, or just fine. So in the end, I decided to nix it and went with something more clear.
5851518 Eh, I was just kidding on being irked since I'm in the same situation myself with my own story and the one I'm helping with. I think the lack of readership could be blamed on the occasional glitch of story updates not showing up on the feed page. I've missed 3 whole updates for a story before a chapter finally showed up.
Ah, I see though I suppose the wording threw me off but rewording the sentence structure into something simpler is advisable so that other readers don't stumble over them like I did.
Granted, english isn't my first language so some phrases are confusing to me, especially L33tspeak.
5852072 lol fucking hate leetspeak. But English isn't your first language? Could have
you totally didfooled me.5834944 Hey, got a question for ya... What would you think of Foxtrot's POV?
5853290 Nope, Chinese is, followed by English though it was my best subject when I was a kid so I understand the standard stuff though popculture references fly over my head since I don't live where the references come from...which is funny since Fallout 3, the first Fallout game I ever played was full of them.
5868504
Like I said, how about a chapter from foxtrot's perspective? Remember, there was TWO DAYS between when xero got shot by Golden Bit and the time he woke up. What did foxtrot and Tes do in that time?
Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)
6909395 yay!