Oh the Humanity! A Si Fron and Stormcaller Tale

by Jack Frankenstien

Chapter 2: Brushie

Chapter Two: Brushie - The Number One Enemy

The light drifted lazily in through the window of the hotel room as Celestia rose the sun to bring dawn to Equestria. Four ponies slept in the hotel room peacefully. Pinkie Pie slept upside down in a chair, snoring in an overly exaggerated and traditionally silly manner, while Rarity snored elegantly in the room’s only bed, Si Fron snored gently on the floor next to the couch, and Stormcaller, surprisingly, didn't snore at all as he slept on the couch. Eventually, Si Fron’s eyes began to flutter open as he yawned. He stretched out and simply lied there, relishing the moment as he remembered the previous day’s events and where he was this morning. It was his first dawn in Equestria. He gazed out of the window and stared at the sunrise. It was a true masterpiece worth savoring. He then began to contemplate how the sunrises in his world were, how the worlds were so similar in their beauty at times, and-

BAM!!!!

The poetic earth pony never saw it coming. Stormcaller, in the middle of a scandalously R rated dream, had rolled over in his sleep and fell on top of his friend.

“GAH!” Si Fron yelled out in fright.

“NOOO, NOT THE CURTIANS!” Shrieked Rarity as she bolted upwards and whipped her head around back and forth.

“WAH!” Si Fron, who stood up with fright and sent Stormcaller to the floor when he was startled by Rarity’s shriek.

“CELESTIA NO!” Bellowed Stormcaller as he hit the floor.

“WAAAAHHH!!” Rarity shrieked as she dove under the covers, having momentarily forgotten about letting Si Fron and Stormcaller stay the night in the hotel room.

“TWILIGHT, NO! NYX NEEDS YOU!” Pinkie Pie yelped, falling out of the chair as the cacophony woke her up in turn.

“AAHH!”

“GAAAH!”

“WAAHHH!!”

This chain of screaming went on for a few minutes until their lungs ran out of air. As they panted Stormcaller slowly rolled over and got to his hooves. Eventually, Rarity was the first to collect both her wits and her breath.

“What just happened?” Asked Rarity, still alarmed by the whole situation.

The white stallion blushed as he sheepishly stood up and pawed at the floor.

“Umm, sorry about that. I guess it was my fault. I got startled when Stormcaller fell on me and I sort of yelled and woke everybody up.”

“It’s everypony,” corrected StormCaller. “And it’s ok. If a stallion fell on me for no apparent reason when I was minding my own business, I would scream too. …..Well, maybe for entirely different reasons, but still!”

“Well,” said Rarity in between gasps of air, “I guess that’s one way to get up in the morning.”

They all sat there for a moment in terribly awkward silence. After an entirely appropriate amount of time, Pinkie Pie coughed a bit.

“Soooo...” She dragged out for effect. “Who’s up for pancakes?”

“Oh, I am!” Stormcaller perked up.

“A bit messy but I suppose that would be delightful,” Rarity chimed in, nodding in agreement.

“Sure,” Si Fron said, relaxing in time with the others. “Sounds good to me.”

After breaking the awkward ice over breakfast and undergoing the interesting and inherently embarrassing experience that is using the restroom as an equine, Si Fron and Stormcaller got dressed. Si Fron, feeling the need to be modest, had put on the black pants, button up shirt, and white fedora. As for StormCaller, while he had no qualms about running around as naked as all of the other ponies, he had rather liked the vest that Rarity had given him and decided to sport the forest green article of clothing simply to look spiffy. He also had a pair of goggles hanging around his neck for kicks.

“Well, now that we are all presentable, I believe all that is left for us to do is get my things from the design room and take them to the train station,” Rarity stated simply. Si Fron blinked in confusion and furrowed his brow.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“Well, my roguishly handsome stallion,” Rarity said coyly, with a hint of teasing in her eyes. “Yesterday was the last day of the expo. You two came here just before it ended.”

“Really?” Si Fron said, completely missing the first statement.

“Indeed,” Rarity said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at his obliviousness. “In fact, we are heading to the train station this morning to head back to Ponyville.”

“Can we come with you?” Stormcaller spouted out abruptly, his eyes as big as saucers.

Rarity blinked before smiling gracefully and with dignity.

“Of course, darling. All we need to do is buy a couple of tickets for you before we board the train,” She then turned to her friend. “Pinkie, what time does the train leave according to the tickets?”

Pinkie, who had put on her saddlebags while Rarity was talking, pulled out a pair of tickets.

“Well, according to these, it leaves at 9:30!” She said happily. “What time is it now?”

Rarity, despite being as white as ivory, paled to a whole new shade of white.

“Pinkie.”

“Yes Rarity?”

“It’s 9:00 right now.”

“Oh.”

It took a moment to sink in, but the moment it did, the room was a flurry of chaos as the ponies ran around in a panic. After a moment, the panicked running got organized enough to make its way out the door, into Rarity’s design room, and make a mad dash for the train station upon securing Rarity’s things into their saddlebags.

“OMYGOSHOMYGOSHOMYGOSH!” yelled Rarity as they ducked and weaved through the streets.

“‘Scuse me! Pardon me! Sorry about that!” apologized Pinkie as she bypassed the crowds by leaping from the tops of their heads.

“I wish I could fly... Uhh, I mean I’m late! I’m late for a very important date!” Blurted Stormcaller as he barreled through the miniature gaps in the crowds of ponies on the streets.

“BADDAYBADDAYBADDAYBADDAY!” Yelled Si Fron as he ran. “...why do I feel like ninjas should be chasing me?”

Soon enough, they made it to the main Manehatten train station. As they headed in, they heard the sound of one of the train attendants bellowing.

“LAST CALL FOR THE 9:30 TRAIN TO PONYVILLE! LAST CALL!”

With one last dramatic leap, Pinkie Pie and Rarity, holding their tickets in their mouths, soar onto the train as SI Fron and Stormcaller hurled the saddlebags they borrowed onto the train after the mares. With a sigh of relief, the four wiped the sweat off of their foreheads. Relieved that they had made it in time, Si Fron and Stormcaller made a move to get on the train...

Only to be blocked by the train attendant.

“Tickets please,” The attendant droned as he held out his hoof.

Si Fron and Stormcaller paused and began to search their pockets. Only after turning them all inside out did they realize that they were in such a rush that Rarity didn't have the time to buy them the tickets. They turned to each other looking for some form of reassurance or idea, but found none. Having no other option, they both turned back to the train attendant and looked at him sheepishly.

“HEY!” The two humans turned equine and the train attendant looked to find a sheep in a city slicker outfit staring at them. “That’s my stchick!”

Si Fron blinked. “Umm, sorry?”

The sheep simply huffed and stormed off angrily. The train’s whistle then echoed throughout the station. The attendant took a deep breath and bellowed with all of his might.

“ALL ABOARD!!!!”

Slowly, the train’s wheels began to turn as the train let loose some steam, beginning to move forward. Rarity began to beg and plead with the attendant to let them on the train, but he was as adamant in his decision. He pointed out that not only did they not have tickets, but the train was moving and that it would be dangerous to let them try to get on, even if he did have a change of heart. In the meantime, Pinkie began to panic.

“Oh my gosh! Stormcaller, Si Fron! The train’s leaving without you because that meany pants conductor won’t let you on!”

“Well, he is doing his job,” Si Fron replied timidly, coming to the attendant’s defense.

“Anyway, what are you going to do?” The pink mare continued as the train began to pick up speed, forcing the two stallions to have to move at a decent pace.

“I dunno!” Stormcaller said. He then assessed the situation before a figurative light bulb went off. “Wait a second! Pinkie, we’ll try to jump onto the train from the back! Meet us there so you can cheer us on!”

“Okie Dokie Loki!”

As the party pony headed to the back of the train and the duo slowed down to allow the train to pull ahead a little bit, Si Fron yelled at Stormcaller; partly out of anger and partly because the sound of the train was starting to get loud enough to warrant yelling.

“Are you insane!? Jumping onto a moving train is dangerous!!!”

“Of course I’m insane!” Yelled the pegasus, mostly out of excitement. “Besides, we’re pastel colored ponies in a cartoon world! At the worst we’ll end up in the hospital for a week and we’ll have to learn the importance of reading or something! Now come on! This’ll be fun!”

With that, they refocused their efforts and they began running at full speed again. However, they were a bit late as they realized that they should have tried to make their move sooner since the train was picking up in speed. Even Stormcaller realized that a dramatic train jump wouldn't be able to get them onto it at this rate. After another moment’s thought, the pegasus grinned again.

“Si Fron! Grab onto me and jump on the count of three!”

“What!?” Yelled the white earth pony in confusion and panic.

“One...”

“Stormcaller, we shouldn't!”

“Two...”

“Stormcaller what if we get hurt!?”

“Three!”

Possessed by some unknown instinct and a better known desire for excitement, Si Fron grabbed his friend’s vest with his teeth, gripped his hat with a hoof, and they both leaped for the caboose. Time seemed to slow as they sailed through the air. It was clear that unless something was done they would fall short of the carriage. Having anticipated this, the pegasus unfurled his wings and began to flap as hard as he could. With each wing beat, they got closer and closer to the train car until...

They were sent tumbling head first into the ground. However pegasi fly, apparently, Stormcaller was doing it wrong and the action of flapping his wings did absolutely nothing to aid them. As they tumbled over and over again down the slope next to the tracks, Pinkie gasped and Rarity, who had joined her upon losing the argument with the conductor, fainted.

“Si Fron!” Pinkie shouted out. “Stormcaller!”

“Don’t worry Pinkie!” Exclaimed Si Fron, whose first instinct had been to try to reassure the pony, despite the fact he was painfully tumbling down the sloped area. “We’ll be fine! We’ll meet you in Ponyville soon!”

The mare had replied, but she was already out of hearing range as the train speed down the slope and moved off towards the famed town of Ponyville. After coming to a stop at the bottom of the hill, Si Fron and Stormcaller panted from the adrenaline for a moment before the blue pegasus received a half-hearted smack upside the head.

“Never again,” Panted the earth pony, who wanted to be angry at his friend, but was too worn out to work up the energy. The only response he got was a groan in agreement.

---

After they had recovered from their disastrous attempt to be cool, they walked back to the street in front of the train station. Si Fron paced nervously back and forth as he fretted over their situation.

“This is bad. This is terrible. I can’t believe this is happening!” He paused to mess with his hat a bit before continuing his tirade. “We missed the train! We missed the train to Ponyville and we have no money to get tickets! What do we do? What can we do? How will we ever get there!? This is bad, bad, bad, ba-”

“Dude!” The nervous nelly of an earth pony turned to his companion. Stormcaller had placed a reassuring hoof on his friend’s shoulder. “We can just walk there.”

“Are you serious?” Si Fron said, caught off guard a bit. “Just walk there?”

“Well, yeah,” Stormcaller smiled broadly. “It wouldn’t be that bad. If we get hungry we can just eat some grass or pinecones or something. Plus, we can see all the cool places between here and Ponyville we don’t see in the show! It would be an awesome adventure!”

Si Fron decided to ruminate on this a moment. Stormcaller had a point. It wouldn’t be too much trouble to simply walk along the road from here to Ponyville. Because Equestria is much more peaceful on the whole, they wouldn’t have to worry about safety either. But most importantly, it gave Si Fron the chance to sate his long neglected wanderlust. For the longest time, he dreamed of travelling and seeing the sights and wonders of the world. Alas, cruel fate denied him such opportunities back home. But here.....

“Come on!” Stormcaller urged some more. “It’ll be fun.”

Si Fron grinned widely as he entertained the thought.

“That sounds pretty cool, actually,” He nodded as he warmed up to the idea. “Yeah, I guess we could go exploring a bit as we head to Ponyville.”

The blue pegasus grinned like Pinkie Pie when she is about to be brilliant.

“Then what are we waiting for? TO ADVENTURE!”

With that, the hyperactive pony dashed off. Si Fron, feeling the adrenaline surge through his body again, ran after him. After racing through the city for a few moments, they finally came upon a road leading out of the city into the distance. The path ahead of them was surrounded by grass covered rolling meadows with the sun shining down on them. Along the way, a few clouds had been tastefully left behind by the weather team to provide shade to the otherwise exposed path for the occasional traveler.

The two ponies continued galloping in this picturesque environment. Sometimes they were going flat out as they raced competitively, sometimes they just galloped at their own pace as they enjoyed the rush of the air around them and the feel of the path beneath their hooves. All the while, they grinned wildly, embracing the absolute bliss of freedom in the wide open world.

After racing for some time, the duo slowed down and began to walk at a more leisurely pace. As they took in the sights, sounds, and even pleasant smells, neither one of them said a word. The serenity lasted for a while, relaxing the two ex-humans to the point that if they ever found a tree, they would lean up against it and fall right asleep.

The peace wasn’t to last though. As they walked at a slow and steady gait, they heard a voice shouting up ahead on the other side of a small hill. Having nothing better to do as they traveled, they crossed the hill, becoming distressed as they were able to make out the vulgar and blasphemous language the figure was spouting out.

The clearly stressed and upset figure was a unicorn with a black coat. His mane and tail were blood red, but the mustache he sported was as orange as a carrot and extremely bushy. His cutie mark was that of a cartoonish drawing of a robot firing a laser at some unseen target.

“... itself! Thrice!” The pony sorely swore as the duo approached him. “If there is any form of governance over fate, I shall make sure it rues the day it decided to take a dump all over my life!”

“Hey, what’s got your tail in a knot?” Asked Stormcaller.

The figure whirled on him. While his eyes were hidden by a pair of black glasses, his posture screamed hostility and his voice dripped with rage.

“What’s got my tail in a knot?” He said curtly. “I shouldn’t even have a tail! Impudent whelp!”

“Dude, chill out,” Said Si Fron, narrowing his eyes in concern. Then it dawned on him. “Wait a second, you are- well, were, a human too?”

“If it took you that long to figure that out, then you must be the height of idiocy where you come from,” The unicorn replied sourly. “Or the height of intelligence, considering how moronic people are today.”

“Hey!” Piped up Stormcaller. “That was totally uncalled for! Have a Pepsi or something!”

“Why should I have that detestably caloric and sweet version when I can have Diet Pepsi?” He scathingly sneered, shocking the pegasi. “And furthermore, why should I calm down? A genius of my magnitude shouldn’t be reduced to such an insulting disgrace to the whole of existence! A useless pony form a worthless cartoon!”

Stormcaller’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “You like Diet Pepsi AND hate ponies?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Said the stranger bitterly. “They are a mockery of the entire reason why I, Ivo, the greatest scientist on Earth, am in the wretched situation I am in!”

The pegasus blinked, then looked back and forth. “What ‘wretched situation’ would that be exactly?”

Ivo stood there for a moment flabbergasted, before letting out a fearsome, savage roar.

“CONFOUND YOU! EITHER YOU ARE ONE OF THE RETARDED INHABITANTS OF THIS WORLD, OR YOU ARE THAT DETESTABLE BREED OF SUB-HUMAN KNOWN AS A BRONY! EITHER WAY YOU SHOULD-”

“Shut the hell up, dumbass!” Si Fron, with little warning, got in Ivo’s face. His lips were curled back as he growled angrily. “And don’t you dare use that word in your insults, you flea-bitten rat.”

His friend stood by silently, thrown off guard by the wallflower-ish pony’s sudden change in demeanor. Ivo, too, paused in mid-rant at the unexpected hostility.

“Excuse me?” Sneered Ivo when he snapped back to reality. “What, exactly, did I say, you brain dead waste of oxygen?”

“The ponies here are not retarded and you ought to feel the pain of a thousand civilizations for ever using that word.”

Ivo pressed his forehead against Si Fron’s in clear, smugly arrogant defiance.

“Make me, retard.”

The white earth pony raised a forehoof to hit the offensive unicorn. However as the moment stretched on, it became apparent that he couldn't bring himself to follow through. His hoof hovered there, trembling with both fury and restraint.

“Just as I thought,” Chuckled Ivo. “A moronic and hot headed coward.”

Finally, Stormcaller grabbed Si Fron by the hoof and pulled him back.

“That’s right-” Ivo began.

He didn’t get a chance to finish,though, when the blue pegasus slapped the orange mustached pony with his wing. Swiftly thereafter he followed it up with a double buck from his hind hooves that lifted the unicorn into the air a bit. Stormcaller turned himself back around and stood between his friend and the bitter unicorn once Ivo had been sent sprawling onto the ground.

“That was for antagonizing my friend!” He snorted as the unicorn picked himself back up. “I don’t know why you’re like this, but you’ll never make any friends being a meanie pants like that!”

Ivo snorted derisively himself. His eyes, which could be seen for a moment while the black glasses hung lopsidedly on his face, flashed with raw, pained malice. He then huffed and assumed a more dignified and controlled stance as he readjusted his slightly cracked glasses.

“Why do you insist,” He said calmly. “That I should care about something as fake and short lived as friendship?”

“Fake? Short lived?” Stormcaller shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

The red maned unicorn let out a short, bitter laugh as he gazed maliciously at the duo. Stormcaller raised an eye in confusion at this, but Si Fron’s eyes widened.

“Do you know what friendship is truly like?” Chided Ivo, his voice growing rather dark and cold. “Here is what it is like: You find someone agreeable. Someone who doesn't piss you off and maybe even amuses you. You spend time together, using each other to accomplish your goals or to satisfy one’s needs for trivial entertainment. And the moment you move to live somewhere else, or the friendship becomes inconvenient? You end it and never think of it again.”

Si Fron flinched at his words while Ivo continued.

“It is only a hopeless romantic’s notion that friendship lasts forever,” Ivo continued, stepping forward with bold, carefully measured steps. “Like a discarded orange peel, a dead carcass, or even a stone under years of rain, it will one day wither away into dust, no matter how long it takes. Assuming of course, if the person who is supposedly your friend doesn’t simply destroy you after he is finished using you as a mere stepping stone. After all, friends just use friendship as a tool. What does it matter that you break a tool after you are finished using it after all? Or rather, to throw it away to save your own skin after the tool has outlived its usefulness.”

For a while, everything was silent and still. Stormcaller’s face was wide and agape with pure, numb shock at the unicorn’s accusations. Soon, that numbness gave way to indignant and uncharacteristic rage.

“That isn’t real friendship!” Stormcaller argued furiously. “That is just some fake friendship! Real friends don’t abandon each other or use their friendship like tools! They keep it alive and well! They spend time with others to help them through hard times and to make each other feel better! Your definition of friendship is that of a cynic’s!”

Ivo laughed bitterly at the counterargument, shaking his head slowly.

“Oh really? A cynic’s? And just what is so incorrect about a cynic’s view point, hmm? We live in a harsh and cruel reality, even if this pathetic world we stand in right now would like to make us believe that it is otherwise,” Idly, he turned his head to something just behind Stormcaller. He slowly grinned a dark and victorious grin at what he saw. “And if what you say is the truth, then riddle me this: why doesn't your ‘friend’ agree with you?”

“Huh? That isn’t true!” Stormcaller turned around to face his friend. “You agree with me, right? This guy is just full of hot air! ...right?”

Si Fron only gritted his teeth. He remembered so many instances from his childhood. While he never had to move, he had several friendships end due to an inconvenience or the moment the assignment they had been working together on was finished. Ivo’s words stung and rang more true than he would have liked. So instead of reporting falsely, he kept his peace as Stormcaller’s face grew increasingly concerned.

“Si Fron...” The pegasus slowly lowered his head to match his friend’s gaze. “You... you don’t agree with him... do you?”

The earth pony could only close his eyes as he looked away. Ivo laughed with bitter triumph at this.

“I rest my case,” Sneered the unicorn in response to the earth pony’s silence.

After walking away for a few steps, the pony paused. Ivo then turned around, smiling mockingly at Stormcaller..

“If you want to prove me wrong, pegasus...” He said condescendingly. “If you want to make my argument nothing more than that of a strawman’s... try convincing your so called friend first of your words... if you don’t come to find them as hollow as they really are first.”

With that, the black pony trotted off into the distance. The blue and green maned stallion turned back to Si Fron.

“Hey... are you alright?” The pegasus lifted his friend’s head up “You do realize that isn’t how friendship truly is, right?”

The earth pony turned his head away. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing came out at first. Eventually, he sighed, still not able to look his friend in the eyes as he spoke.

“I.... don’t, I guess,” Si Fron said painstakingly as he searched for the words himself. “But......if you’re right....”

“What?” Stormcaller laid a hoof on Si Fron’s shoulder.

“...then I have never had a true friend.....”

The silence was heavy for the longest time.

---

The duo walked down the road for the longest time with that same silence weighing heavily on them. Si Fron tried to think of something else, but Ivo’s words haunted him. He never thought of it before then, but they rang a little too close to home. Stormcaller, meanwhile, had been too stunned by the revelation with his friend to say anything. As they walked the long and winding road, the silence became too much for the normally hyperactive pegasus.

“Si Fron.”

The white stallion turned his head towards his friend. He was surprised by the serious look on the pegasus’ face, being reminded for the first time that he wasn’t just a knockoff of Pinkie Pie.

“Don’t let what Ivo said get to you,” Stormcaller reassured, looking at his friend with concern and his voice solid with genuine reassurance. “You will have friends come and go, sure, but you will find some true friends eventually.”

Si Fron smiled weakly.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” He looked away again, his expression still forlorn. “To be honest, it kind of was my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“....Well, as I grew up, I had always had a few friends here and there. People who would help me out and share good times with me,” Si Fron recalled. “The problem was that they were all from class and that was the only time I ever talked to them or hung out with them. When it came to being with them outside of school, I never made any effort to get out of my comfort zone. I would always spend my afternoons by myself and let those... ‘weak friendships’ just sit idly for when class was going on. So whenever I changed from, say, middle school to high school or if I even changed classes, that would be that. I would never see them again except by chance. I never wrote or emailed to them or made any effort to stay in touch with them to even make the friendship more genuine... It was me who just let it die. Ivo’s words stung so bad because... it was me who would abandon the friendship, not them.”

Stormcaller said nothing, silently thinking as they trudged onwards down the path. For a moment, all that seemed to be there was the brown of the dirt path and the smell of the dirt their hooves shifted.

“You seriously never had any friends over, even when you were younger?” He asked quietly at last, grasping for some sort of straw. “You never went over to someone else’s place to play video games or sports or even eat cupcakes? At all? You truely never tried to get in touch with people outside of your classes and let yourself be all alone?”

“Well,” Si Fron paused and stopped walking. With a sigh, he continued to speak. “I guess I did have a few friends like that. But... they...”

After a few moments, Stormcaller nodded. He raised a hoof to stop his friend from continuing.

“I understand. If you don’t want to talk about it right now, that is okie doki loki.”

Si Fron sighed. But as he did so, he smiled in relief. It had felt comforting that Stormcaller respected his wishes.

“Maybe I’ll tell you more later,” Si Fron said as he thought of something to get his mind off of things. “Where are we, anyway?”

As they surveyed their surroundings, they realized the path that they were following had led them towards a forest that was in front of a large mountain. As they looked up, they saw that a magnificent city was jutting out of it.

“Wait a second,” Si Fron said, with the realization of their situation sinking in. “Is that-”

“Canterlot!?” Stormcaller exclaimed. Without missing a beat, he turned to Si fron and held out a hoof. “Let me see that map!”

Si Fron did a double take. Slowly, he looked with confusion at the hoof Stormcaller was holding out and back. Hesitantly, he spoke up.

“Ummm...” Si Fron was unsure of how to proceed. “I don’t have a map.”

“You don’t have THE map?” He said in faux surprise. “You lost it!?”

“But we never had one!” Si Fron defended. “We just ran out here and followed the first trail we saw!”

“Well that’s no excuse to go and lose the map!”

For a moment they looked at each other intensely. Then, slowly, the two started to laugh. It was weak at first, but as they heard each other’s laughter, it grew, slowly pushing out all of the harsh feelings that had been weighing them down.

“Thanks Storm,” Said Si Fron as the laughter died down. “I needed that.”

“Anytime,” Stormcaller smiled at his friend before putting a thoughtful hoof to his chin. “So, I guess this means we must have taken a wrong turn back at Albuquerque or something.”

“I knew we should have taken the left road,” The earth pony nodded. “But in all seriousness, I think we are seriously turned around and we need some directions.”

Stormcaller waved a hoof dismissively. “Directions, Schmirections! This is an adventure!”

“But I really don’t want to worry Pinkie Pie and Rarity!”

Stormcaller sighed. He then rolled his eyes and smirked at Si Fron.

“Fine, Mr. Serious McSeriouston. But can we at least go to Canterlot first? I want to see all of the cool stuff they have there! Like the Princesses!”

Si Fron conceded, silently sharing Stormcaller’s eagerness despite an overwhelming bout of the urge to be responsible.

“I suppose we have to. After all, there isn’t anyone else-”

“Anypony.” The pegasus reflexively corrected, much to Si Fron’s amusement.

“...anypony else on this road anyway that could give us directions.”

Not even a half a second later, the sound of a feminine voice was heard shrieking inside the forest. Before the duo could even charge in heroically, they spotted a light blue unicorn mare racing from the entrance.

“....how many times does Trixie have to say it, NO MEANS NO!!!” the unicorn shouted as she approached the two. From the forest, a purple pegasus stallion was galloping right behind her, with a brown mane and a look of pure ecstasy.

“But your mane looks so soft! Just let me brush it once!”

“TRIXIE SAID GET AWAY YOU CRAZY STALKER! Trixie may have led you on, but brushing Trixie’s mane is where Trixie draws the line!”

As she got close enough, the mare noticed the confused and somewhat worried duo looking at the scene. She stopped briefly in front of them.

“Oh thank goodness. Listen, Trixie doesn't care what you do or how you do it, please get rid of that idiot that is chasing Trixie! Ever since 2 days ago, Trixie has been stalked by that freak!” She pleaded desperately. “He seemed nice at first because he claimed to be Trixie’s biggest fan during Trixie’s...... hard times, but the moment Trixie said that he could bask in Trixie’s presence he hasn’t stopped bothering Trixie with weird and insane requests ever since like I-Trixie was some...well.. He wanted Trixie to eat pinecones and wear socks! Why would Trixie want to wear socks anyway, since Trixie would nev- ”

“TRIXIE!!!!” The pegasus had been getting closer during the Great and Powerful Trixie’s rant and he was almost upon them. With a shriek, the mare ducked behind Si Fron.

“AAH! DO SOMETHING!”

Thinking quickly, Si Fron pointed a hoof towards the fanatical pegasus. “Stop right there!”

Out of surprise, the purple pony skidded to a stop. Emboldened by the unexpected cooperation, Si Fron continued, deepening his voice to fake authority..

“What do you think you are doing?”

The purple pegasus blinked, caught off guard from the resistance.

“Umm, trying to brush the mane of the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria?”

“I think you misspoke there,” Interjected Stormcaller. “I don’t see Pinkie Pie anywhere. At any rate, let me see your license.”

“What?”

“You don’t have a license?” The blue Pegasus sighed and clicked his tongue.

“What license?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Said Si Fron, doing his best to not let a sly smile sneak across his face. “You need an official mane brushing license to brush her mane legally!”

“What in Equestria are you two-” Began Trixie in a harsh whisper before being cut off by Stormcaller being as loud as possible.

“YOU DON’T HAVE A MANE BRUSHING LICENSE!? Unacceptable!”

“But officers, I didn’t even know-” the stalker stopped in mid-sentence. “Wait a second!”

“Busted already?” Said Si Fron.

“Eeyup.” Replied Stormcaller, doing a decent impression of Big Mac. The pegasus in front of them snorted angrily and began pawing the ground in hostility.

“Any more brilliant plans of yours?” Snarked Trixie with her trademarked obnoxiousness.

“Just one,” Replied the pegasus calmy. “RUN!”

Before she could even blink, Stormcaller whirled around and plopped Trixie onto his back by the scruff of her neck as he and Si Fron ran in the opposite direction. The purple pegasus gave chase, infuriated by the two stallions taking ‘his’ Trixie away.

“EEEYYAAAAAA!!!!!” She screamed. “PUT ME DOWN!”

“And give you over to Mr. Stalker Guy?”

“I- I mean- “ She stammered for a few minutes before giving up on correcting her mistake. “Trixie didn’t want to be kidnapped by Trixie’s rescuers!”

“Well Excuuuuse us, Princess!” Snarked Si Fron as he looked over his shoulder. The crazed pony was gaining on them. “Dude, follow me!”

Complying, Stormcaller followed his earth pony friend off of the road and into the open field. They began to zig and zag to throw off their pursuer, but since it was just an open field, they didn’t do so well. In a stroke of brilliance, Stormcaller came up with something very rare: a good idea.

“Dude, My turn!”

Si Fron followed his friend as they ran straight ahead for a little bit more. When it looked like the purple pegasus stalker was about to catch up with them, they stopped and ran towards their pursuer, dodging around him at the last second. It took the pony a few seconds to realize what they had done and a few seconds more to turn around and gain back some momentum.

Using the time bought with the momentary confusion, the two heroes bolted towards the entrance of the forest. Once they had gone inside a little ways, they trio hid in a bush and waited for their pursuer to either get lost or give up. With luck, the pegasus ran right by them and continued running until they couldn’t him anymore.

“That was close.” Said Si Fron, panting from the exertion as they exited from the bush.

Stormcaller simply nodded as he plopped down onto the ground.

“Well!” Said Trixie as she got off of her blue rescuer. “Trixie supposes Trixie should thank you for losing that stalker. He was quite grating and he had the most annoying way of talking!”

“I’m glad we could help.” Si Fron said, holding out a hoof. Awkwardly, as if it took great effort on her part, she took the hoof and shook it.

“So, the Great and Powerful Trixie,” Said Stormcaller. “What are you going to do now?”

“Well, Trixie-” Her eyes narrowed suddenly. “How do you know that Trixie used to call Trixie the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Ummm.... we heard of your magic shows?” Offered Si Fron nervously.

Trixie glared at them for a moment more before sighing. With a look of defeat and resignation, she slumped down onto the ground and hung her head.

“Great. More ponies who want to make fun of Trixie,” The way she said those words had made it very clear just how utterly broken her spirit was. “Go ahead, laugh at the pathetic showmare who couldn’t even beat an Ursa Minor.”

The two stallions looked at each other for a moment, hoping to figure out what to say next.

“Okie Dokie Loki,” Replied Stormcaller with a playful grin on his face. “Although I wouldn’t know why you would want to be made fun of. That just sounds rather weird if you ask me.”

Trixie whipped her head up and stared at the odd pegasus. All she could do was blink for a few seconds, clearly thrown off by his oddly happy and friendly demeanor.

“Huh? W-what do you mean?”

“We didn’t want to make fun of you.” Si Fron said simply. “What’s not to get?”

“But surely you have heard about that one..... incident from Ponyville if you know about Trixie. Why wouldn’t you want to ridicule Trixie for failing so miserably there?”

“Because it is not nice and it wasn’t your fault that the Ursa stomped through the town?” Said Stormcaller, looking at her as if it was obvious.

“We aren’t those kind of ponies who would down-talk someo-pony for something they had no control over,” Agreed the white earth pony.

“But that is what everypony else has done to Trixie since the word spread about the Ursa...”

“Why should we do what everypony else does?” Si Fron sagely replied.

“You mean, you won’t hold it against Trixie?”

The two shook their heads. Trixie held a hoof to her chest as she looked down, a blush spreading across her face.

“Thank you...” She murmured.

“No problem!” Piped up the Pinkie Pie-ish Pegasus.

“So, what were you doing before you ran into that guy?” Inquired Si Fron.

“Trixie was actually...” She gulped and spoke as if she was swallowing something rather bitter. “Seeking employment in Canterlot when Trixie ran into that particularly putrid pest! Trixie was getting a little desperate, Trixie admits, and Trixie was going to the castle to apply for a job. While Trixie don’t normally want such charity from anypony, Trixie was trying to get the pity of the Princesses in an effort to get back on Trixie’s hooves. Much more quickly than Trixie would on Trixie’s own, I-Trixie means. Around that time is when Trixie’s trouble with that particular pony started.”

“Oh wow! What a coincidence! We were going to Canterlot too!” Stormcaller said, starting to bounce up and down in joy.

“Really?”

“We were actually heading to Ponyville to visit some friends when we sort of got turned around,” Si Fron nodded. “We were hoping to get some directions and look around for a bit before trying again while we are in Canterlot.”

“Trixie....sees.”

She looked at the two nervously as she silently debated with herself. She looked at the castle nervously, as if terrified of what is to come. Finally she looked at them, trying to appear bold and benevolent for the sake of appearances.

“Trixie supposes that she might as well use the company as Trixie goes to see the Princesses. Although...” Trixie peered up through the foliage again, looking at the sun’s position behind Canterlot. “Judging from the current time and distance time, we will probably end up seeing that new Princess Luna instead of Princess Celestia like Trixie originally intended.”

With that, the ex-showmare got up and began to walk off. She paused for a moment and turned back. Her eyes momentarily betrayed fear before the expression was replaced with annoyance.

“Well, are you going to come along with Trixie or what?”

The duo shrugged and caught up with the abrasive mare as they made their way back onto the trail and headed for the capital of Equestria.

---

Upon arriving in Canterlot, the three travelers were exhausted. The mountain trek had been long and rough. At this point, everypony in the group just wanted a nice soft bed to lie down in after a good long shower. Or maybe just a bed. They weren’t picky about it.

“Finally!” Trixie exclaimed. “Now Trixie can finally beseech the Princesses for that job. No more scavenging for food or getting scolded by others. Just a nice job so Trixie can live decently until Trixie finds a way to buy some supplies to start Trixie’s old act up again.”

Si Fron’s eye twitched at her repeated use of her own name. Bored, Trixie had decided to take it upon herself to talk the entire hike up to Canterlot. While Si Fron didn’t mind listening to her boasts about her days as a traveling entertainer, he did get annoyed by her using Trixie every time a pronoun would have been okay and even pleasant. He didn’t want to scold her and make her upset or more unpleasant, though, so he reluctantly kept his mouth shut.

As they entered the capital, the sun had already set and it was already an hour or 2 into the night. The city was relatively empty, with only a few ponies bustling about from place to place looking to either find a good party or make it to a late night business meeting. The street the group found themselves on was well lit with stylish lamps and the occasional neon sign. The three ponies soaked in the sights as they walked towards the castle. Si Fron whistled at it all.

“Wow....this is so....”

“Awesome?” suggested Stormcaller.

“Spectacular?” offered Trixie.

“...Picturesque.” Finished Si Fron.

Unbeknownst to the other two, he was beginning to go into the often unseen ‘poetic’ mode, where he babbled semi-intelligent nonsense. It would have been long and dreadfully boring if he had gotten started and it would have been a chore to stop him. Thankfully, Stormcaller had saved everyone from the cheese that is the earth pony waxing poetic by shouting really loudly.

“OH MY GOSH! WE’RE HERE! WE’RE ACTUALLY AT CANTERLOT CASTLE!”

After being thoroughly jarred by his friend’s loud declaration, Si Fron gazed upon the magnificence that was the Canterlot Castle. Large white towers soared up into the air, the guard rails on the bridges looked like they were made out of solid gold, and the banners and flags all flapped regally in the light breeze that brushed by. Not only that, but the details that were left out by the show’s cartioonish style also popped out at the two ex-humans. The stone that held up the towers was visibly weathered and old, but looked solid enough to stand for another few millennia with ease, while the gold on the rails shone and gleamed as if the group had just missed seeing a caretaker polish them, and the banners themselves had a sheen to their silky look as they flapped in the torchlight. The three of them took a moment to appreciate the beauty and prestige of the sight they beheld.

“........Well, that’s enough appreciating the super-duper awesome castle! Time to see the Princess!”

Eagerly, the pegasus stallion dashed off into the building with little other warning. Si Fron and Trixie yelped in surprise before pursuing their hyperactive companion. As they ran inside, the sights of the castle’s interior continued to awe them, with the walls adorned with realistically painted images of famous and royal ponies from all time periods, strings of well maintained groups of flowers, and more regal banners that were illuminated by nearby torches. Soon, they caught up to Stormcaller, who was dancing on the tips of his hooves in impatience. The reason for this, apparently, was the fact that the vicious enemy of all those who wish to enjoy things had appeared.

“UUGGGH!!!! WHY ARE THERE LINES IN EQUESTRIA!?” He griped impatiently to his friends as they caught up with him. “You would think that a place as awesome and perfect as Equestria wouldn’t even NEED lines, much less have them! Whyyy!?”

“Trixie finds it obvious that you two aren’t from around here if you expect to not have to wait in line to be heard from the one of the royal princesses,” She said with apathy as she polished and examined her hoof.

‘If Trixie doesn’t learn to use pronouns,’ Si Fron thought angrily, grinding his teeth. ‘Si Fron will have to pound her into the ground!!!’

As usual, though, he held his tongue and waited in line like everypony else. The line shortened over time at an agonizing but noticeable pace as the trio waited in anticipation. Soon, it was their turn to enter the illustrious throne room and as a group they made their way inside. The entrance they had gone through was actually a side door to the fabled room. As they looked about, they noticed that the line they were waiting in had extended to a large set of double doors on the opposite side of the room from where the throne was. On it was the regal Princess Luna, who was taller than all of the ponies in the room, but slightly smaller than her sister in height. Stormcaller pouted when he saw who was on the throne.

“Aw man. I really wanted to see Celestia! Oh well, I guess seeing Luna will do for the moment.”

Before Trixie or Si Fron could respond, they were deafened by the loud and booming power of the Royal Canterlot voice.

“THINE REQUEST FOR MORE STATUES OF THYSELF HATH BEEN DENIED, PRINCE BLUEBLOOD! THE STATUE ON THINE OWN PRIVATE ESTATE WILL SUFFICE FOR NOW! MAY THE NEXT PONY APPROACH THE DESIGNATED SPOT TO DECLARE THEIR REQUEST TO US?”

The three ponies winced in pain as the now deaf Prince Blueblood stormed past them, grumbling loudly about how the populace would only benefit from another statue depicting his blessed presence.

“Wow,” The white earth pony murmured, having not seen anything from season 2 besides the 2 part “Return of Harmony” opener since the other episodes hadn’t aired yet.

“Yeah, who would have thought that cute little Woona would have such a loud voice?”

“Trixie concurs with the insane pony. Trixie had no idea that the Princess of the Night had a voice that could awaken the dead.”

Si Fron nodded. He noted idly that the enormous double doors, which had stretched up towards the ceiling and were as thick as the average pony was long, had been forced open by the blast of the thunderous voice. Forced by the movement of the line, they eventually moved in front of the now open doors as a black Unicorn with blue and red hair approached a designated spot in front of the throne, styled so that his mane looked like flames. Squinting, Si Fron could make out that he had a flaming shield for a cutie mark. For some reason, this rang some bells in his mind, but he couldn’t sort out his thoughts fast enough as the Royal Canterlot voiced drowned them out once more, now buffeting him with fierce gales of force.

“SPEAK, CITIZEN OF OUR GREAT NATION! MAKE THY REQUEST KNOWN TO OUR EARS!” Spoke Luna at a slightly lesser volume at this point, much to everypony’s relief.

The unicorn stood there dumbfounded for a moment. He looked back and forth as if he couldn’t believe he was actually there before composing himself. Before Luna could loudly urge him to hasten his response, he finally spoke up.

“Umm, hey there, Luna. What’s up?”

The princess stared at him in confusion.

“WHAT DOEST THOU MEAN, WHAT IS UP? SURELY THOU CAN SEE THAT PLENTY OF THINGS ARE UP, INCLUDING THE ROYAL DECORATIONS, THE TORCHES, TH-”

She was swiftly interrupted by the unicorn’s laughter. After noticing her stare, he coughed and scratched the back of his head with his hoof.

“Sorry about that. Usually when peop- I mean ponies, reply to ‘What’s up?’, they usually tell them something that is going on in their life. It is a figure of speech, after all.”

“WELL, WE SUPPOSE THAT NOT MUCH HATH HAPPENED OTHER THAN THE USUAL ROYAL DUTIES IN OUR LIFE. WHAT ABOUT THOU? WHAT, AS YOU SAY, IS UP IN THINE LIFE?”

“Well, besides waking up in a completely different world in the body that I had described in a fanfiction,” He began. “I have been stared at by ponies, insulted the upper class, accidentally embarrassed a rather effeminate stallion, and confirmed that I can do awesome fire magic. Thankfully no one was injured, but I may have a bounty on my head if that stuffy stallion with the toupee goes through on his threats. Oh, yeah, that was rather fun.”

Luna blinked several times. “We...... do not know how quite to respond to that. WHAT IS IT THAT THOU IS REQUESTING? THAT WHATEVER BOUNTY ON THINE HEAD BE DISMISSED?”

“No, although that would be nice. Actually, I had come here for a very different reason....” He mumbled to himself for a few minutes. “I... had come here to see if....”

“JUST ASK. THOU HATH NOTHING TO FEAR FROM OUR JUDGEMENT.”

“...CanItrytobeyourfriendandtakeyouonadateifIimpressyou?” he said rapidly. He turned his head away from the Princess, blushing furiously. Luna said nothing for a time.

“Do you mean it?” She said at last in a regular voice, which may have been a whisper for all everyone knew. The unicorn nodded. Luna’s face lit up as she ran up and hugged the pony. Her response, unfortunately, was to speak at a volume that had easily outclassed the previous times she had spoke, much to everyone’s horror.

“OH THANK YOU BOLD PONY!!! EVEN BACK BEFORE MY UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT, I HAD NEVER HAD A SINGLE PONY EVEN REQUEST SUCH SMALL THINGS OF ME WHILE OUR SISTER HAD RECEIVED REQUESTS BY WOULD BE SUITORS BY THE DOZENS. WE HATH GIVEN UP HOPE THAT ANYPONY WOULD DO US SUCH A KIND FAVOR!!! AS A SIGN OF OUR GRATITUDE, WE SHALL GRANT THINE REQUEST POSTHASTE!!!”

As joyous as it was for Luna, everyone else in the room suffered as nearly everypony’s flimsy eardrums burst from the verbal blast. For Stormcaller, Trixie, and Si Fron, their eardrums were spared, but instead they had been lifted off of their hooves by the Royal Canterlot Voice and thrown physically out of the window in the hallway behind them. They weren't on the ground floor when they had left the building, but they thankfully landed into a bed of thornless flowers. While it softened the blow to survivable levels, they still all passed out from the physical trauma.

Comments

[Jack Frankenstien]

1553297 Thank you! I had my suspicions about the abrupt transitions but I wasn't entirely sure. And the sarcastic narration was something I haven't even considered! I do tend to be unlucky at times though...

At any rate, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving a sincere and honest opinion about the story. You have NO idea how much it means to me. I will take the narration and transitions into serious account from here on out. I thank you again for the comment.

I hope that I will improve and make this story worth reading!