• Member Since 14th May, 2022
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Scriblits Talo


Publishing Stories of varied pony content Weekly:} Hear them read at : https://www.youtube.com/@QuothScrib

T

In the frozen north there is little separating life from death, however there are things that are far worse than death.

A lone wonderer finds an Alicorn, alone, injured in the snow.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

First off, paragraph spacing problem, you do it for a few lines, and for many others... don’t. For example, you write like this:

Text text text text.

Text text text text text text text text text text text text.
Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.
Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.

While it should be:

Text text text text.

Text text text text text text text text text text text text.

Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.

Text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.

See?

Next, Rainbow’s eyes are described as violet, no, they’re magenta or atleast pink (in case you don’t know, violet is more purple while magenta, although described as purplish-red, looks more pink).

Thirdly, this OC pony (atleast I think they are an OC, I’ll call them that for now) and Rainbow Dash seem way too close despite the fact they just met (the OC is aware of who Rainbow Dash is, but still).

Finally, this looks to be part of a huge AU, more explanation is needed, what relation does this OC have to the bigger picture? How is Dash an alicorn (she doesn’t seem to know too well herself)? What were they fighting? How did Dash end up — and what is the OC even doing — in the Frozen North of all places?

This gets an OKAY from me.

11881619
Thank you very much for the advice.
Even if I do not get around to implementing it in this work I will definitely take it into consideration in the future.

This is a story I wrote up from a prompt, I will give more details about my intentions later in my blog.

Again thank you for everything, I love commentary like this, it is very helpful.

The absolute mushroom clouds that erupted from Canterlot were even visible here in the frozen north. The countless rainbooms that shook the earth.

...
Well then
Someone call littlepip!

11881619
Honestly from the mushroom cloud points i think it might be related to FOE
but its just my thoughts

11882328
:twilightblush:

Funny story about that.

This particular story was not intended as a Fallout Equestria story, originally it was meant to be a oneshot, but I now have ideas of where I would like to take it as far establishing it as its own series. It will remain unrelated to FOE.

However unrelated to this I have recently requested and received permission from the KKat to write in her world and with her characters provided that A) I treat the original story and characters with respect and give proper credit for them, B) understand my work will not be considered "canon" to Fallout: Equestria, and C)I do not attempt to make any profit off of my work or Kkatt's.

I have some of this project written already and will share more about it in my blog as the publishing date comes closer.
I have some Ideas about FOE I feel are rather unique yet build off of the lore in an interesting way, and I look forward to sharing with everypony.

11882385
Honestly GO FOR IT!

Short and, well, not sweet (cause it was sad) but intriging to say at least.

Just like Hyper Star said I really fell like this could be like a random chapter of a humongus AU. Still that doesn't make it bad, just a bit random.

It's certainly an interesting reflective atmospheric piece. :twilightsmile:

You should definitely take the paragraph spacing advice provided in the first comment on this story, though.

oooh my god this is amazing, i have so many questions about what's going on but whatever it is I love how you wrote this, just so atmospheric and raising questions without answers in a good way

11888970
That might just be the most enthusiastic response I have gotten yet 😆
Thank you and I am glad you enjoyed it so.

I'll be sure to put out a sequel/ prequel soon

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