“Hardly,” said the unicorn. “My hip is still broken and my flank is still healing. The doctors say that it will look normal again with the help of a little magic. I must admit, though, the morphine drip they have me on is quite nice.”

Hospitals have the best dope.

“Oh, no you don't. If I'm gonna take my lumps, you're gonna take yours.”

IF I SUFFER YOU SUFFER WITH ME BITCH

The Hallmark of a true friend right here.

Big Macintosh stared off into the distance and shuddered. “Eeyup.”

What they don't say is that he almost gelded himself and partially severed his vocal chords saying anything other than eeyup or enope causes so much pain he can potentially black out from it it's why he's so taciturn.

“Just to clarify," said Luna, "which part? The quasi-vampirism I've been hiding for the last two years, or the fact that there's an evil goddess chained up in our basement?

Damn the only thing chained in my basement is that demon I'm interrogating.

“It does if you're a slut,” said Luna, her voice more playful than venomous, and Cadance's pink face turned crimson red as she helped Luna out the door.

My only question is: normal or reverse cowpony.

“For such a smart pony,” said Shining Armor, “you sure are a dumbass.”

“Of course it is,” said Celestia, laughing slightly. “She's my best friend.”

“Never mind,” sighed Twilight. “I get it.”

Exactly

Big Macintosh cut her off. “There's parts of that story you don't know, AJ.”

Godamnit did they Roofie them again

Only Luna ever knew what happened that night in the dungeon below Canterlot Castle. She never told a soul; not even her beloved sister. All anypony knew was that she walked out of the depths of that place with her broken body totally restored and whole. The castle guards knew also that when they checked the next morning, Nightmare Moon was simply gone. Every single pony in Equestria knew, furthermore, that that the dark goddess of the night was never seen nor heard from, again, except in the form of that horned silhouette, gazing down eternally from the silver disk that ruled the night sky.

You've got an extra that here.