Within the confines of Stable 50 nestled in the heart of Baltimare, the luminous soul of Stardust Glitter was born into a world marred by desolation and decay.
11825843 The only people who have the right to make these types of comments are my friends, we insult each other, we say ugly things to each other, but all for fun. But the thing here is that I have no idea who the hell you are, so how should I interpret your comment? Put yourself in my shoes for a few seconds. Of course, you were bored, you only read the description and that joke came to your head to try to be a clown. So, do that with other people, because with me, I won't tolerate it from someone I don't know.
11825904 I read the intro and prologue, and my first impression of it as a writer is that you need to drop the exceedingly flowery language and try to tell your story more concisely. It’s okay to occasionally throw in words that your readers may need to look up in a dictionary, but you’ve gone far beyond that level.
If you accept criticism only from friends, and those friends aren’t willing to offer sincere critique, or themselves do not know enough about writing to do so, then you will never learn anything valuable from them. What you really need is to consult a style guide or two and learn by example of professionally edited works.
11825992 Well, I've been writing this way since last year, I think since November, and no one told me anything about my style of narration being too flowery, it's the first time I've received a comment like this. I'll see what I do, since it is difficult to satisfy everyone, since there may be people who like it, people who don't like it.
That's not what I mean, your comment cannot be taken as criticism, you were just trying to be funny, if you really want to give criticism, be serious and point out point by point what is wrong with the story.
Comment posted by Salted Pingas deleted February 17th
11827273 Sorry dude, but I'll have to delete your comment.
Original comment: Seriously, though. Bro(ny)'s writing like the Star Wars screen crawl.
Not to mention the cover art looks like it's got ads on it. Aspect ratio making it look like a cheap clickbait ad for malware-infused mobile games.
Reason: Being disrespectful towards my art.
And making the covers takes hours of effort and sweat, so you come here and say those bullshit about mobile games and malware. Because, of course, everyone can pay a commission or draw digitally overnight, according in the alternative world you live in.
11831356 If you put one-tenth the effort into reading comprehension and understanding narrative construction as you put into attempted wit, you might grasp what I meant in about ten years.
11831430 I don't think someone with a story that barely cleared double digits should be giving anyone advice about anything to do with writing. 11828963 You do know the ads are part of the site, right? You're probably too new to the internet to know that everyone already knows most ads shouldn't be clicked. Even legitimate sites will have bad malware ads, simply bc they pay to have the ad. That's capitalism.
11831525 I’d invite you to read To Bellenast, because you might be able to learn something from it... but I wouldn’t want to be a massive waste of your time.
11825904 This is pretty tame feedback compared to some other shit I've seen. Ya got to grow thicker skin if you're gonna post your work on the internet. Don't let it stop you from writing your story. But you should also try to take comments like this in stride. People might be dicks sometimes but there's usually a bit of truth in their criticisms.
11901794 I know bro, I took his feedback into account and tried to strike a balance between being direct and poetic. The story is on hiatus, not because of the criticism, it is the lack of interest in this story, Mona Lisa is very difficult to write because some of my characters have accents (British, Patois, German and several others) and I have to do too much research regarding slangs and common words in those countries, I spend hours on Google Maps, since most cities are pony versions of real cities. It is very difficult to write and not receiving feedback is not very motivating, I want to know what people think of my creative ideas, that's all, but I still plan to continue Mona Lisa, but this story is very physically and emotionally exhausting to write and I want that it is worth the time I spend writing it.
They told me the balefire bombs burned green and bright, but all I see is a giant purple thesaurus looming over the landscape
11825843
The only people who have the right to make these types of comments are my friends, we insult each other, we say ugly things to each other, but all for fun. But the thing here is that I have no idea who the hell you are, so how should I interpret your comment? Put yourself in my shoes for a few seconds. Of course, you were bored, you only read the description and that joke came to your head to try to be a clown. So, do that with other people, because with me, I won't tolerate it from someone I don't know.
11825904
I read the intro and prologue, and my first impression of it as a writer is that you need to drop the exceedingly flowery language and try to tell your story more concisely. It’s okay to occasionally throw in words that your readers may need to look up in a dictionary, but you’ve gone far beyond that level.
If you accept criticism only from friends, and those friends aren’t willing to offer sincere critique, or themselves do not know enough about writing to do so, then you will never learn anything valuable from them. What you really need is to consult a style guide or two and learn by example of professionally edited works.
11825992
Well, I've been writing this way since last year, I think since November, and no one told me anything about my style of narration being too flowery, it's the first time I've received a comment like this. I'll see what I do, since it is difficult to satisfy everyone, since there may be people who like it, people who don't like it.
That's not what I mean, your comment cannot be taken as criticism, you were just trying to be funny, if you really want to give criticism, be serious and point out point by point what is wrong with the story.
11827273
Sorry dude, but I'll have to delete your comment.
Original comment: Seriously, though. Bro(ny)'s writing like the Star Wars screen crawl.
Not to mention the cover art looks like it's got ads on it. Aspect ratio making it look like a cheap clickbait ad for malware-infused mobile games.
Reason: Being disrespectful towards my art.
And making the covers takes hours of effort and sweat, so you come here and say those bullshit about mobile games and malware. Because, of course, everyone can pay a commission or draw digitally overnight, according in the alternative world you live in.
11827418 Deletes comment, then reposts comment in the reply
Looks good to me.
11825992
So what you're saying is the words are too much for you to understand? Maybe, idk, get a broader vocabulary?
11831356
If you put one-tenth the effort into reading comprehension and understanding narrative construction as you put into attempted wit, you might grasp what I meant in about ten years.
11831430
I don't think someone with a story that barely cleared double digits should be giving anyone advice about anything to do with writing.
11828963
You do know the ads are part of the site, right? You're probably too new to the internet to know that everyone already knows most ads shouldn't be clicked. Even legitimate sites will have bad malware ads, simply bc they pay to have the ad. That's capitalism.
11831525
I’d invite you to read To Bellenast, because you might be able to learn something from it... but I wouldn’t want to be a massive waste of your time.
11825904
This is pretty tame feedback compared to some other shit I've seen. Ya got to grow thicker skin if you're gonna post your work on the internet. Don't let it stop you from writing your story. But you should also try to take comments like this in stride. People might be dicks sometimes but there's usually a bit of truth in their criticisms.
11901794
I know bro, I took his feedback into account and tried to strike a balance between being direct and poetic. The story is on hiatus, not because of the criticism, it is the lack of interest in this story, Mona Lisa is very difficult to write because some of my characters have accents (British, Patois, German and several others) and I have to do too much research regarding slangs and common words in those countries, I spend hours on Google Maps, since most cities are pony versions of real cities. It is very difficult to write and not receiving feedback is not very motivating, I want to know what people think of my creative ideas, that's all, but I still plan to continue Mona Lisa, but this story is very physically and emotionally exhausting to write and I want that it is worth the time I spend writing it.