Pinkie Pie is an Eldritch God

by I Vicious I

Smile

Having escaped the hydra with her friends, Twilight could rest easy knowing that she didn't need to understand everything. Twilight would be fine without understanding the Pinkie sense, and the world would go on without issue. That was the lie she told her friends.

With more subtlety than her prior ventures of hiding in bushes and using binoculars from afar, Twilight secretly continued to study Pinkie, and the more that she learned, the more a sense of dread began to overtake her.

Twilight frowned as she wrote notes in her journal, sitting alone in the library. She should have gone to bed hours ago, but the Sirens of the urge to study and write were far more beautiful than those calling her from her bed. Not only does she have the ability to predict the future, but what is even more interesting is her incredible speed. She lacks wings or the magic needed to teleport, but she always reaches her destination seemingly instantly. Even rainbow dash, who may very well be the fastest pony in Equestria will always arrive after Pinkie to any destination. When working on Pinkie’s surprise birthday party, she was unable to evade Pinkie even at her top speed. It was fascinating that someone as competitive as Rainbow hadn't even noticed.

Pinkie pie had once slid up a slide in reverse, effectively ignoring gravity, and nobody but I had noticed. She's used her tail to fly, and her hair to burrow into the Earth, and nopony else so much as does a double take.

I've literally seen her explode! Twilight thought to herself. Twilight had seen Her body fell into dozens of pieces; while this would easily result in the death of anypony else, she just... Pulls herself back together, and she's good as new. Her body literally fell into pieces, strewn across the room. There was no bone, no organs, not even a drop of blood for Celestia’s sake!

What was most concerning was how she spoke to herself. She would say something out of place and then stare blankly in a direction at random as though she was waiting for a response. Maybe she was schizophrenic? She did have an episode where she became friends with a bag of flour, but now I'm wondering if that was an act, and if it's not an act, who or rather what is she talking to? Twilight shivered in the warm evening air.

“I think it's time I confronted her”, Twilight said aloud to herself. Maybe Twilight had imagined it, but in that moment, she could almost swear that she had heard somepony laughing quietly from somewhere within the empty Library.

Twilight woke up early the following morning, and despite going on little sleep, did her morning routine in record time, eager to confront Pinkie. She planned to go visit SugarCube Corner, but before she could even bother to get her things, there was a knock at the front door. It was early, too early for even Spike to be up. Twilight opened the front door to find Pinkie beaming with a huge Smile. "Hi Twilight!"

"Pinkie, what are you doing here?" She asked nervously, her eyes never leaving Pinkies face any more than her Smile left hers.

Pinkie turned her head slightly and gave Twilight a wink. "Oh Twilight, why be a big ol' silly? We both know the answer to that, and a riddle is no fun if you already know the answer."

Twilight took a couple steps backwards; Pinkie Pie matched her movements in turn as Pinkie walked towards her. "I... I..." Twilight’s heart raced, beating in her chest at 100 miles an hour. She paused, and took a deep breath, "what is it you want Pinkie?"

She laughed. "I just want to play with you Twilight, I love spending time with one of my best friends in the universe! Don't you want to spend time with your friend?" She looked at Twilight with the same focused stare one would imagine a cat gives a mouse. A cat who wants to play with its prey right before putting an end to it.

Twilight’s eyes watered up. “Are you going to hurt me Pinkie?” she asked, the desperation in her voice was all too clear.

This made pinkie stop dead in her tracks. She stared at Twilight, the Smile left her face, leaving a deep frown and a narrowing of her eyes. Her eyes became a solid shade of white and a deep and booming voice came from Pinkie’s mouth. “I would never hurt you Twilight, and I’m insulted that you would even suggest such a thing. You are my friend after all” Before Twilight could react to this new horror, Pinkie’s face snapped back to its normal gleeful look. Her regular voice emerged this time. “You wanted to ask me something Twilight? Go right ahead, what do you want to know?”

Twilight stared down at the ground, unsure of what exactly she should ask, or even if she should ask. Twilight looked up and met Pinkie’s gaze as she patiently waited for her to respond. “Well pinkie.” Twilight paused for a few seconds to think of a subtle way to ask, “How exactly do you have such spectacular powers?”

"The secret behind my power is that I'm an Eldritch God, Pinkie replied in a casual tone. Do you know why you were able to notice that something was wrong with me and nobody else was? Twilight shook her head "no"

Pinkie tapped her hoof on Twilights forehead." Because you aren’t just intelligent Twilight, you are the smartest pony period, and spoiler, you're going to be the most powerful pony one day too." Pinkie circled Twilight as she mused, “With your...” Pinkie giggled “...incredible intelligence, you were able to see past my ruses and mind games that I so easily play on the others. I would have made it impossible for you to figure it out, but that wouldn’t have been any fun.”

“So, I’m just entertainment for you because I’m smart enough to take notice that something is off with you?” Twilight asks in a hushed and slightly sad voice.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit Twilight. You’re just fun to be with no matter how smart you are. Just think of all the adventures you and all our friends go on.” Twilight nodded slowly in response. “I don’t care that you’re smart, after all, the smartest pony to me is barely more intelligent than the most intelligent insect compared to me”. Pinkie Smiled and giggled. "You might be an infinitesimally small spec to me and compared to me you're less than a grain of sand within the greatest dessert within our universe, but I like you. I find you and your tiny world to be fun. So, I'm going to keep playing with you here. Don't worry, I'll wipe your memory of this, and we'll keep being friends. This will be... the ninth time I've had to do this, and it won't be the last."

Twilight was stunned by such a revelation. "This isn't your real form, is it Pinkie? Can you at least show me what you look like?" Pinkie Pie Smiled impossibly wide; her face twisted as her lips widened further than should be physically possible. Causing Twilight to grimace at her stretched face.

"Oh Twilight, I can't do that, if you saw what I really look like your mind would melt and don't even get me started on what would happen to your soul. Then we get into the philosophical question if you're the same pony when I put you back together Mrs. Theseus’ Boat, and that's just no fun" Pinkie Pie chuckled at this idea, as though putting somepony back together were a game.

Twilight looked horrified. "Wait, the soul is rea..."

"Doesn't matter Twi" said Pinkie Pie wrapping herself around Twilight in a hug. "I'll just erase your recent memories, and we can go back to our usual fun adventures! Then you'll get curious again at some point and we'll just repeat the process. Forever and ever, we can play this fun game!"

Twilight frowned. "We can't exactly do it forever, I mean, Ponys generally only live to be 80 or so."

"Silly Twilight, you're making the same mistake all you lower beings do and assuming time as a linier construct, plus you’ll be immortal soon enough." Twilight looked baffled, her world and image of Pinkie was shattered. "You're going to become immortal soon, and no not by my hand silly Billy, you earn it, all by yourself, after that, we can be friends forever! Just think of all the parties we can have!"

Twilight looked at Pinkie nervously. "If you've erased my memory of this many times before, and you're just going to do that again, why are you bothering to tell me"?

Pinkie Pie looked down at Twilight as though she was deep in thought. She then began to slowly turn her head towards an impossible direction, a place where x, y and z would never meet. She looked through the silvery veil, past the infinite void and across the boundless static of the universe. Finally, her eyes found what she was searching for, something nopony could or should ever see. Pinkie Pie looked directly at you, the reader. "Just in case anyone is listening.” she replied with a Smile.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Something Something Surreal Valued Set Theoretic Eldritch Gods are Subset of Pinkie Set...

I discovered this wonderful proof but unfortunately this universe is too small to contain it.

[milk rain]

Pinkie pie being a eldtric god just makes to much sense

[Mr Swanky Hat]

Knew it!

[Axolotl222]

So this was a pretty good story, you did a good job with balancing horror and comedy, which is no easy feat. Unfortunately, there were issues with punctuation that ended up weighing down this story quite a bit. I’d say give it another proofreading or two and you’ll be golden.

[Aiwhisper]

Love it. Reminds me of the story of her being one of the four apocalyptic horses.

[Hillbe]

And Spike's going to make you a Grand Mommy soon enough!
I'm too young to be a Grand Mother , Besides he's a dragon...

Hi Pinkie
Hello father of six

??????
But he's a Dragon...

Did I miss something?
Not for long

[Greenhorn]

Is there something wrong with me that I find myself less amused than I should have been at this revelation?

"Don't worry, I'll wipe your memory of this, and we'll keep being friends. This will be... the ninth time I've had to do this, and it won't be the last.

I wonder how many times have she been doing this to Celestia or Luna? Wait, did she conjure her supposed family members too? Or are they just her minions playing roles?

[SeventhBrony]

I always figured that Pinkie was a shard of something\one that to the Eldritch are to them as we are to the Eldritch

[zuifan]

In this episode we learn that Twilight doesn't trust her friends if they aren't ponies.

[Fireeaters]

I suspect that twilight could become like pinkie if she tried

[GasmaskBrony]

I'll be honest, when Pinkie said she was an 'Edlridge' god I was hoping for a bit with Twilight correcting her with 'Eldritch' and Pinkie correcting her back to Eldridge stating either it's a holding company or a small nursing home and going on about how she's not big enough to be eldritch yet but even a small god is still a rather big thing.

[darklight731]

I love it.
Eldritch Pinkie Pie stories really need to be picked up on a bit more.

[Box-Corner]

This story reminded me of a prompt I was too lazy to write myself:

"Pinky makes a Pinky promise to never miss her friend's birthdays"

Basically, a twist on "Twilight won't outlive her friends" with the loophole that it doesn't have to be ALL her friends.

Unfortunately I never got to it, on top of the fact my brain couldn't stop it from morphing into a shipfic between two immortals of order and cupcakes.

[Crio-Kitsune]

11757081
Probably minions. It'd be a nicer concept I like to think.

[SirShadestrider]

11757081
Maybe they're her cultists?

[lovelessasuka]

The mlp show did pinkie so dirty lol I would have loved to see pinkie become the alicorn of chaos and wreck absolute havoc like in the comics imao

[lovelessasuka]

11757316
I swear this is an scp lol

[justheretoreadstories]

That's good thumbnail art.

It's good to also see another one of these stories.

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Bouncing between first and third person perspectives make this incredibly difficult to read.

Not to mention how some places seem to need quotations but don't, swapping between speakers in the same paragraph...

Just... Get yo'self an editor, please.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[im a nopony]

the title and description gave me flashbacks to when I read this story back in 2013, Pinkie Pie Is An Eldritch Abomination

[Kind of Brony]

Fun, albeit uninspired concept with absolutely atrocious writing.

This needs some serious editing.

[I Vicious I]

11757955
touched up

[WubsAndCellos]

Oh my god this is so amazing and realistic

[I Vicious I]

11758232
Thank you very much

[hawthornbunny]

I love the cover art! Who's it by?

[sykko]

I love stories where Pinkie is some sort of 9th dimensional being. She is The Great Pink One! Even Asasathoth, Cthulhu, Nyarlethotep and Shub'nigurath are confused by her.

[Herald of Opera]

11758620
For what it's worth, Azathoth canonically isn't sentient enough to be confused by things. The problem is that all of existence is his dream, and by extension what will happen if he ever awakens.

[Kind of Brony]

11758394
Looks like AI if I had to guess.

[hawthornbunny]

11758839
You know, usually the multiple legs would tip me off, but in this case...

[Wing Zero 032]

Ok, this story goes straight into the Church of Pinkie Pie Group, no question asked, nor accepted, Great Job!

[Twilight_Shimmer]

veeeery interesting!

[Sweetblue]

Ah, elder god which might be too polite to ignore the banana peel you dropped to thwarth its plans. I like this a lot.

[Chaotic lore]

I'd love to see more of this please make more

[adamsafran]

Definitely gonig to have nightmares over this one.

[I Vicious I]

11760041
Sure, if I think of any other good pinky prompts

[I Vicious I]

11760188
Always happy to help :)

[Malabazoo]

That was a fun story, I’m looking forward to seeing if any more elder pinks happening. Also awesome cover pic for the story!

[Arceaion]

[I Vicious I]

11760333
I really love the genre of Lovecraftian horror, House of Leaves is one of my favorite books. I feel like it's difficult to write though. I'll try to think of new prompts for it though.

[Malabazoo]

11760767
Lovecraftian horror is fun stuff especially when it melds well with other IPs.
H.R. Giger did some biomechanical/Lovecraftian stuff too. That could be something pinks does to "help" her friends obtain immortality.

[Booster Spice]

11760824

Pinkie in the icescream.

Shes coming out of the Walls.

[Tachi-Tekmo]

𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, 𝕴 𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖊𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 ...

.
.

Ś̵̞͚͍͓͎̈́̄͌́̅͑m̵̨̺̦̣̖͙̲̰̹̞͍̄̃̋ͅȉ̴̹̤̜͖̪̍͘͜l̷͎̱͙̠͍͎̥͖̠̾̑͋͋̔̓͗̾̽͑͂͂͜ę̴͕̘͉͎̫͍͇̳̫̌̒͗͐̎̈́̉͌̃̀͋̔

.
.

[Okie Brony]

I freaking love the cover art!! There's still some irregular capitalization & missing quotation marks, & "silly Billy" should be "silly filly," but otherwise, awesome story.

[Matthewthawes]

pinkie the eldritch party god

[TheOneAJ]

[The first vicar]

Ah, pinkie, or some say pinkiesm. Do you hear our pinkie promises? As you once did for the silly cheese sandwich, grant us party’s, grant us party’s!