“The Continuing Adventures of Captain Obvious and Her Sidekick, the Oblivious Wonder”
“Hey, Pinkie? You said you wanted me to come over so you …” The rest of whatever Rainbow Dash had been about to say died in her throat. She blinked once, then twice. “What is all of this?”
Crammed into Pinkie’s not-terribly-large studio apartment were a big brass band, an entire line of chorus girls, and Pinkie Pie herself. Pinkie was dressed in a long, dark blue gown, perhaps something created by Rarity, and—and was that make-up that Pinkie was wearing?
Rainbow Dash blinked again, very slowly. It felt like the thing to do.
Pinkie Pie didn’t answer the question that had been asked. Instead, she took a long, deep breath. As she did, the trumpeter in the band lifted his instrument to his mouth using his magic, and the chorus girls all raised their right front legs. Immediately Rainbow recognized what was about to happen next, but even as fast as she was, she wasn’t fast enough to escape the inevitability of a song cue:
Dashie, take off that frown
And give me a bright smile
Sit yourself down and
Just listen for a while
Pinkie bounded over to Rainbow and enthusiastically shepherded the pegasus over to a chair. Rainbow found herself forced down into the chair somewhat against her will. But before she could protest, Pinkie was gone, bouncing over to the chorus girls, still smiling and singing away.
I got something to say
And I need to be heard
‘Cause you haven’t listened
When I just say the words
I want you, I need you
But what’s even more
I’m in love with you truly
Yes, Dash, it’s you I adore!
From somewhere nearby came a sudden burst of confetti. It rained down from above and got stuck in Rainbow’s mane, but Dash was too disoriented to bother brushing it off the top of her head. Meanwhile, Pinkie and her chorus line began doing the can-can.
You’re my rainbow when sad
You’re my sun when it’s gray
And whenever I’m scared
You chase all my fears away
So, Dash, what do you think?
Can you ever agree?
Oh, please, won’t you be
My special somepony?
The song ended with Pinkie doing a huge split that seemed to defy both equine anatomy and the boundaries of common sense. But even despite the uncomfortable-looking position, the earth pony beamed at Dash with shining eyes.
Rainbow Dash sat silently for a few long moments and just stared blankly at her friend. Soon the corners of Pinkie’s smile began to tremble, ever so slightly.
“Um.” The trombonist was nervously scuffing the floor with a hoof. “Should we be here for what happens next?”
Finally, blessedly, Rainbow Dash grinned. “Wow! That was awesome, Pinkie! Is that for a new musical you’re practicing or something?”
At that, Pinkie Pie’s smile cracked and completely fell apart. From behind one of the chorus girls gasped quietly. Another began openly sobbing. The brass band’s saxophonist, meanwhile, glared at the pegasus with open, undisguised hostility.
Rainbow began to suspect that, somehow, somewhere, she had missed something. Something important.
Then, Pinkie’s eyes narrowed, and her mouth formed a thin, firm line. “That is the last time I take Rarity’s advice,” the suddenly serious party pony muttered. “I should’ve done what Applejack suggested from the very beginning.”
“Uh, Pinkie Pie?” Dash shifted in her seat, feeling a curl of unease form in her stomach at the look in her friend’s deep blue eyes. “Are you … you okay there?”
In a loud and booming voice, not unlike Princess Luna using Royal Canterlot speech, Pinkie announced, “Everypony, take cover! It’s time to implement Plan B!”
As one, the musicians and dancers hit the floor, covering their heads with their hooves.
Rainbow Dash frowned. “What are you—“
But Dash was unable to finish her question, as at that exact moment, Pinkie Pie launched herself across the room with a savage war cry and tackled the pegasus to the floor. Dash soon found herself utterly breathless, almost shaking, as Pinkie Pie kissed her with more passion and intensity than any pony had ever been kissed before in the entire history of Equestria, with the possible exception of that one time Princess Platinum and Clover the Clever got very, very drunk off some awful alcohol the earth ponies called "hard cider."
When at last Pinkie pulled back from the embrace, the chorus girls and band members began applauding, stomping their hooves on the floor so loudly that Mrs. Cake’s voice could be heard yelling up the stairs that the twins were taking a nap and for all of them to quiet down. Pinkie Pie, for her part, was sitting back on her haunches, flushed and triumphant.
Rainbow blinked again. “Ohhhh,” she said after a moment, with a small nod of her head. “You like me like me. Well, why didn’t you just say so, Pinks?”
Pinkie’s face went slack. “But … I mean … but you didn’t …”
“I mean, geez, no need to make a big production number out of it, y’know?” Smiling, Rainbow Dash leaned forward and gently bumped snouts with a still-stammering Pinkie. “Because you wanna know something? I like you, too.”
The chorus girl who had cried earlier began hysterically sobbing all over again, this time twice as hard. Even the trombonist couldn’t hold back a small, dignified sniffle.
… and that’s how Equestria was made. Maybe next time I can tell you the story of how Pinkie Pie proposed to Rainbow Dash. It's a gem!
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Author's Notes: All credit for the basic premise of this story goes to Chengar Qordath. This story is the result of a discussion happening in the comments section of AbsoluteAnonymous' "Sweet Nothings," which is awesome and you should go read.
Donny sweet Celestia how? How do you do it?! Every freaking time you make me fall in love with Rainbow Pie all over again! Even after you made me ship Raripie!
D'awwwhaha!
(and that's what it sounds like when you want to both "d'aww" and laugh)
Goodness she's dense. But uber cute nevertheless.
Rainbow Dash... romantic IQ of a grapefruit.
Oh wow, Applejack would recommend doing that.
Rainbow Dash is just so dense. Even after Pinkie brought out the whole band! (But the whole set up was just hilarious )
Still, it's a really cute story. Especially Dash at the end. Great job as usual.
Nicely done. Have to love Rainbow's "Well why didn't you just say so?" moment.
Romantically oblivious Rainbow is best Rainbow.
Wonderful. I usually don't like "dense" Rainbow, but you did a good job of it.
465703
It's because I'm a little in love with Pinkie Pie and therefore believe all other characters must be, too. I'm egocentric like that. Seriously, though, glad you liked it!
465717
Hee! That's funny.
465940
465995
466041
466159
I don't ACTUALLY think Rainbow's dense (or THIS oblivious), of course--and in actuality dislike when she's often written as being stupid in serious-minded fanfiction, when she isn't--but the whole story was premised on the joke of cranking up RD's obliviousness to 11 for the lulz. Hope it was amusing, for being the fluffy little ridiculous thing that it is.
466005
I have no idea what Applejack would suggest, I must confess. (Except perhaps "Er, maybe you oughta go ask somepony else, sugar cube.") But just grabbing the object of your affections and giving 'em a smack on the lips is honest, at least, yeah?
466041
Thanks muchly! I'm glad you found the set-up funny!
466055
Heh, thanks. So, uh, it's cool that I wrote and posted this, yeah? I didn't poach or anything, did I?
467107
No worries; I wouldn't even be getting started on the concept until I finish up My Little Denarians, and even then it'll just be part of larger story.
This may be the greatest and most accurate RainbowPie story ever written.
I applaud you, sir.
467261
Oh, good, good. I'm glad to hear that. I didn't think I'd overstepped any bounds, but it's never hurts to check.
468275
*snort*
468558
Hee! Thanks.
.....And that's how Equestria was made?
imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/lol_wut1.jpg ?
It's good to see more of these, I always liked these little short stories and it's how I found you out in the first place so whoopee and all that
And yeah I think Pinkie is just awesome in general, EVEN IF (I can't stress it enough) she's not my favorite.
503172
Hee, thanks. Definitely better to hear than, "Oh, geez, more of THIS crap?"
It's so interesting that Pinkie isn't your favorite, given how much you write her.
503597
Thanks! I think the fandom--myself included--tend to write a lot of Dash as a heartbreaker, but really, when I think about it, I don't think that quite fits for her. 'Cause of her loyalty, etc.
I'm so glad you're enjoying these little mini-stories, by the way!
504696 I realize she's in... let's see, every one of my stories...........
No! Applejack is still my favorite!
Right, AJ?
I'm inclined to believe what your have on your profile though, that Pinkie is best pony, but everyone can have a favorite while still acknowledging Pinkie is best pony. That makes the most sense to me at least. If you need more proof of AJ's awesomeness, here's a song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs-RQk86drw&feature=BFa&list=PLA089389C03B3BE5F. Check his profile, he's got one for each of the ponies and one for the show in general(which is my favorite).
505365
Ha! You're making AJ sad. Poor AJ.
Dig the video--thanks for linking! Man, I wish I could make good videos. Also, this in and of itself is more than sufficient proof of Applejack's awesomeness. (Plus there is THIS BIT OF AMAZINGNESS from the royal wedding--starting at 18:03, in case the link doesn't go to the right time.)
506344
Aww, thanks for the kind words. I'm sorry it's such a downer of a story. The rest are much more cheerful, I swears it.
507233 I don't get why AJ even did that. What did she accomplish by putting her hat on? I really don't get that part... maybe I'm just being derp but I just don't get the picture there.
And yes, I laughed my ass off when she said that.
508425
I just assumed she really likes wearing her hat but that either (1) Rarity forbade her from wearing it or (2) she feared Rarity's wrath and preemptively decided to not wear it. So as soon as Rarity is otherwise occupied--BAM, the hat makes a triumphant return!
508527 And then she made the scrunchy face
This is a very nice bunch of oneshots. I've been following this series for a while now using a simple bookmark, but now that I've started to actually use this account here, I might as well favorite it and offer you my thoughts and praise.
Number 4 is probably the most adorable of the bunch, at least in my opinion. Dash acting overly concerned while Pinkie just spaces out completely and thinks about cupcakes and friendship maintanance was very cute. Applejack's comment at the end was a nice little touch as well.
For me, number 7 was without a doubt the most hilarious one. I can just imagine the scene, those costumes, that terribly corny dialogue.. It cracks me up just thinking about it. And Twilight's reaction at the end was priceless.
I really enjoyed 5 and 8. As I've stated before on other fics, I sometimes feel that the whole sexuality issue is ignored a bit too often. You did a nice job of showing how tough it could be to not only be in love with someone, but also uncertain if she could even be sexually and romantically attracted to you at all.
So yeah, this is a very cute series and I'm looking forward to the next installment.
508592
Rarijaaaaaaack.
514075
Thanks so much for the review! Number 4 is one of my faves, too, so I'm glad you liked it.
I actually tend to write most of my stories with the assumption of a homophobia-free Equestria--for no other reason, really, than it's a bit of wish-fulfillment on my own part--but I like doing terrible things to Rainbow Dash. She just FEELS like a character who's gone through hard times, who's become tough because she'd had to. *shrug*
I shall endeavor to make the future installments not suck! Thanks again for the kind words.
519635 ApplePiiiiiiie ( which I am going to attempt when I get farther into what I'm writing at the moment)
I see. So one can comment on each individual chapter, but also on the story as a whole! Most refreshing! Really rather tip-top!
If I can be excused for commenting on the story as a whole instead of going through and writing essays on each chapter, I have this to say: yes! Each chapter is just delicious and moreish, like a collection of literary Jaffa Cakes. My favourite three (four, really, but as I'm already splodging your story into a homogenous whole to comment on it, instead of commenting on each piece individually...) would have to be The Love That Never Was (both parts), More Than Cupcakes, and Method Acting. The first I enjoy for maturely tackling themes that I myself am too cowardly to touch even armed with a barge pole the size of Russia. As for More Than Cupcakes, I would love that chapter based on the pure strength of II: Lies Of Omission and III: Inevitable alone. I like Lies Of Omission simply because I enjoy seeing it when people take a scene from the original media and read a little deeper into it (and/or bend it over backwards to suit their own purposes, which is equally admirable), and I like Inevitable because...because I like it. I just get the mental image of Twilight sitting down, thinking about the chain of events and being so...I want to say flummoxed, but it's really not the right word, that she has to resort to roundabout tautologies in order to get her head around the dissolution. Also for the implied backstory.
Method Acting I like because I find it funny. And yes, I am picking these emoticons largely at random.
Now, if I could just stop noobing about and figure out how to how to add these jaffa cakes to my favourites, we would be getting somewhere...
Dat battlecry.
520313
YES. WRITE APPLE PIE.
549972
You can indeed! Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving a review. In particular, I'm really tickled that you liked the "Inevitable" part of "More Than Cupcakes," as that's my favorite part of that drabble set. It was my first time playing around with some characterizations of Pinkie and Rainbow that I hadn't really done before.
Oh, and you can favorite stuff by clicking the little star towards the top of the screen.
551654
Heh.
553663
Aha. So that's the pretty button I must push for exquisite doubling of fun. Excellent! Thanks for putting up with my noobishness. I shall make use of it forthwith.
Regarding Inevitable, I just think it worked on a lot of levels. I've always been quite interested in the whole issue of chicken and egg with the elements of harmony- whether the pony holding the element actions are somehow affected by it, or whether it's merely that the pony in question personifies the element so much that there's literally nothing they could do but to go the path it tells them, since that's the path that suits them most. I didn't put that very well, but I've been writing this comment for something like three hours now, getting distracted every five or six words. First world problems...
554539
I am so late to this party...
I never liked the canon where the elements forced behavior. I'm extremely sensitive to mystical coercion (a.k.a. mind control) and anything approaching it just hammers my NOPE button like no tomorrow. I think that the elements are drawn to ponies who personify them and, like a paladin in D&D, the bearer simply ceases to be the bearer if they stray too far. The whole coercion angle is why I never liked Pony Psychology, FWIW.
735089
Hey, hey! Thanks for stopping by.
Glad you've liked some of these little mini-stories--and it's interesting that we seem to share a fair amount of head canon.
It's weird. I see a lot of Dash x Fluttershy x Pinkie when doing triangles, and a lot of them have been pretty to very good.
This is a hint, btw.
Ha! RainbowPieShy is totally my OT3, so I just might do a story with 'em at some point. I blame Cloudy Skies for this. (I blame Cloudy Skies for a lot of things.)
Another aside, I know your OTP switched to TwiPie recently, I hope my next-next fic is well received by you.
Oooh! I am excited!
I kinda want to spew an old story idea at you now. But will refrain from doing so on your comments.
You're welcome to do so, if you'd like! My comments sections were officially declared a "derailing-welcome zone" a while back. Heh.
I actually love the fact that the only connection Loyalty and Laughter have is aliteration. It seems to mean more when there is no outside reason.
Yeah, the last bit of this one stemmed from me trying to come up with some pretentious Symbolic Meaning that would result from combining laughter and loyalty, but I came up empty. So that became the point--there is no outside meaning, so they had to MAKE their own meaning, and there's a certain sort of beautiful in that, I think.
I am so late to this party...
I never liked the canon where the elements forced behavior. I'm extremely sensitive to mystical coercion (a.k.a. mind control) and anything approaching it just hammers my NOPE button like no tomorrow. I think that the elements are drawn to ponies who personify them and, like a paladin in D&D, the bearer simply ceases to be the bearer if they stray too far. The whole coercion angle is why I never liked Pony Psychology, FWIW.
I like seeing all the different explanations and speculations that people have come up with, but my head canon has it that the Mane Six themselves ARE the Elements, with the necklaces and tiara being ... I dunno, some kind of channeling device or something like that. And I wrote one story where one of the ponies actually stopped being the bearer of her Element when she lost her ability to personify it.
736744
>I kinda want to spew an old story idea at you now. But will refrain from doing so on your comments.
It's essentially from the prompt I posted for Halloween about Dash scaring Pinkie into cuddles. (This is where Best Plan Ever got it's seed from). But instead of Dash going ahead with her plan, she asks Rarity for help. Rarity has her own, very firm ideas of courtship. So of course every single bit of advice and planning she helps Dash with, every time Dash lets Rarity help, it's extremely awkward. The "point" of the entire story lies in two places.
1: The whole "be yourself" thing. Dash's visible discomfort (point 2) every time she attempts to execute Rarity's plan (coinciding with physical proximity to Pinkie) actually drives Pinkie away. She attempts to remove herself because she thinks she's the source of Dash's discomfort. Wanting to make ponies happy sometimes means giving them space (this is an old idea, but I think it was only strengthened by Friend In Deed)
2: The entire fic is Rarity 3rd person limited. So all of the emotions are super visible and much of the conversation between Dash and Pinkie is overheard or brief omniscient glimpses. This is why I gave up on it: I didn't have the experience to pull it off.
I actually started writing this in September or so, but hiatus-ed it/shitcanned it when I ran into issues.
>Another aside, I know your OTP switched to TwiPie recently, I hope my next-next fic is well received by you.
I am currently slogging my way through what will no doubt be a moderately received fic plagued by people taking it at face value. After that I am going to attempt to write a fic that deals with sex as an actual integral part of the story. As in, without it, the plot doesn't actually work.
It's also a sequel to List.
It's also going to have my OT3.
I don't make things easy on myself, do I?
I find myself always wanting to try new things when I write. Maybe because I'm easily bored? I don't know. It's very hard for me to drum up teh enthusiasm for doing something I did before. Hence, Featherfall's continued languishing.
737201
I love the idea--but then, I'm a sucker for "Rarity meddles in the love lives of the others" as a story concept.
OT3! OT3! OT3!
I'm excited to see your new projects, whenever they're ready to be unveiled.
A hilarious and cute story.
Donny's Boy... one of the few that can make maximum efficiency with emotion and everything else, in minimum words.
Silver out!