• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

TheVClaw

I'm a shameless neckbeard who has a knack for writing a LOT of smut. I have an Official Patreon page (Patreon.com/TheVClaw), and I also take commissions to help support myself as a freelance writer.

TheVClaw Joined 16th May, 2013 · Offline

Sequels1

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Comments ( 8 )
PuzzleMaster98
PuzzleMaster98 #1 · Feb 27th, 2023 · · 3 ·
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not bad. not bad at all

bkam
bkam #2 · Feb 27th, 2023 · · 3 ·
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11517092
Yeah, it's pretty good.

StubobNumbers
StubobNumbers #3 · Feb 27th, 2023 · · 3 ·
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Loona is so hot. I love her.

mrmidnight
mrmidnight #4 · Feb 27th, 2023 · · 3 ·
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wait shouldn't this be on the other story? the other one doesn't have a completed form?

Max Ksenofil
Max Ksenofil #5 · Feb 27th, 2023 · · 2 ·
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To be honest, I won't read your story. However, I will give a positive rating because of a hellhound named Loona. I really like her, and I'm waiting for the continuation of Helluva boss.

TheVClaw
TheVClaw #6 · Feb 27th, 2023 · · ·
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11517355
Each of the pairings will be in their own separate oneshots. The introduction story will be updated after the others are finished to serve as a grand finale~

dirty little secret
dirty little secret #8 · Apr 9th, 2023 · · ·
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This is your official review for the Furry Foray Festival Contest!

I've tried to be as objective as possible, but of course there are limits. I've tried to avoid being biased or arbitrary as much as I can, and hopefully I've succeeded at least somewhat. The full, final results will be announced on May 4th, and winners will be contacted shortly afterward to ask how they would like to accept their prizes. When readings these comments, please keep in mind that I know I'm often overly critical -- to the point where I can always find nitpicks even with the greatest works of literature. So don't take anything personally!

Notes:
- I'm really liking Loona's text message replies. That's very her.
- ‘What color was the pump handle?’ ‘How the fuck should I know?’ Heh, I really wish you'd gone with her being colorblind here. You know, because dog. But I guess I only thought of that because of another fic in this contest that made good use of her being colorblind.
- Ah... So it looks like we're going the route of making Fluttershy angry and doing a bitch vs. bitch match. Honestly ... kind of disappointed at that. It probably would have been more difficult to write, but I would have loved to see Fluttershy being just so unbearably nice that even Loona couldn't handle it ... brining Loona to Fluttershy's level, rather than bringing Fluttershy to Loona's level. ------ Or, as it turns out, I guess we're going with The Stare and having some hypnosis clop. Alright, that's an interesting way to go with it.
- Her lips wrapped tightly around one of those sticky digits, allowing her to get a proper taste of Loona’s drooling juices straight from the source. Uh ... only if the source is Loona's fingers... The straight from the source taste comes later.
- The spider suit is a pretty big WTF moment for me, lol!
- with a couple heated pants Yeah, I also had some heated pants when I used to ride a motorcycle all the time. Made things much more bearable in cold weather. Not sure what Loona's going to do with those, though...
- “GnnnnnNNNNNAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” This might be the teensiest bit excessive?
- after being given the most brutal fucking that week Love this detail -- that it's only been a week or so since Loona had been fucked this brutally.
- I do kind of wish Loona could have given Fluttershy some attention in return.
- During the times when she wasn't being Stared, Loona's personality was done particularly well and accurately. (And during hypnosis? Who can say.)
- Maybe it could have been improved by also having a moment (other than the very beginning) when Loona had the upper hand. I know Fluttershy is a soft-spoken little badass and all, but it kind of feels like Loona's not being given her full credit here. (Maybe something like after getting wrecked with the strap-on and Fluttershy overheating in her spider suit, Loona could casually get up, shake herself off, and say, "Is that all you've got? You wouldn't last a day in the Lust Ring. Now let me show you how it's really done!" Or maybe that would be giving Loona too much credit?)

Scores:
Provocativeness: 55
Progression: 90
Payoff: 80
Pacing: 80
Personality: 65
Prose: 65
Total: 435
For more information on what these scores mean, see the scoring rubric.

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