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  • T Luna's Story: Rise of the Lunar Stallions

    Luna falls comatose and is revived by the love-sick kiss of one of Celestia's guards.
    44,461 words · 11,428 views  ·  952  ·  25
  • T Judge Celestia: Upon the Throne of Justice

    Celestia allows a radio show to broadcast cases from the Noon Day Court.
    15,310 words · 1,468 views  ·  244  ·  4
  • T The Affection of Princess Nightmare Moon

    SEQUEL! Nightmare Moon tries her hoof at wooing one of her subjects. Meanwhile Chrysalis returns to feed on Celestia.
    36,040 words · 6,455 views  ·  1,149  ·  35
  • T Let the Silence Sing

    Celestia decides that Big Mac's barn is an excellent place to take naps. Big Mac decides that Celestia is a welcome guest.
    14,189 words · 9,923 views  ·  1,630  ·  53
  • T Luna's Story 3: Long Live the Night

    Princess Luna must battle a possessed Celestia with her Lunar Stallions.
    37,463 words · 5,539 views  ·  576  ·  16 · gore
  • E How and Why

    An elderly Twilight Sparkle goes back in time to tell herself to stop studying.
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  • T The Return of Princess Nightmare Moon

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  • T Seeing the Pattern

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Blog Posts207

  • 16w, 6d
    New Story, Upon the Throne of Justice

    I thought Judge Luna could use a sequel, since its been almost a year since then. Enjoy! :D

    Judge Celestia: Upon the Throne of Justice

    3 comments · 273 views
  • 18w, 2d
    Could I get an artist's help?

    26 comments · 577 views
  • 19w, 4d
    So I'd like to combine two stories, can you?

    I've gotten in trouble for deleting and reposting a story in the past, and I'd rather not stir up any more trouble with the mods. Does anyone know if I would get in trouble if I delete Let the Silence Sing 2 and post it's chapters in Let the Silence Sing 1. It doesn't much feel like a sequel as much as it does a continuation-- it just feels like it would be less confusing for the readers if it was all in one place.

    Thoughts? Advice?

    I've written to knighty in the past but never recieved a reply, I think the poor guy might be too busy to answer individual problems like this. The site is big and no doubt full of bigger problems. I just don't wanna stir the pot without asking around first.

    26 comments · 609 views
  • 20w, 2d
    MAres are fruggin' awesome

    When your future father in lawe invites you over to help clear and dig a pit to make a decorative pond, you can be laid up for a week. I am not an atheltic stallion-- but damn if it doesn't get you the nicest attention from the mare in my life. I just wish she was shorter so I could tuck her head under my chin when I hug her. Guhhh, mares! You need'a be shorter! Shorter I say!

    You know what rocks though, while you're laid up and sore? Ice cream cake. Frug yeah ice cream cack! Ice cream cake and some Divinity Dragon Commander, holy crap that Dwarven Princess is hot. I would motorboat those puppies for HOURS. <3 <3 <3

    What're you guys up to? I'm doing my show on youtube D&D Stories, writing a novel "Toxica the All knowing" and being a lazy bum. Finally got a job at a grocery store, so I gotta keep at it at youtube to make ends meet, pffft! You know who sucks stallion scrotum? WHoever put loopy stuff in my pain meds, those sonsvbitches.

    God damn I need a soda. No wait pop. These Minnysotanms call them "pops" up here. This is apparently the 1950's in the the the northern states. I am so thirstry! Hynnn...

    I am still so sore, too much digging that silly pond thing-- ah well, nap tiome.

    Bye bye,  love Aeigs!

    36 comments · 500 views
  • 23w, 1d
    Let the Silence Sing Sequel :O

    You guys demanded it, so have at it!

    Let the Silence Sing 2

    Hope you enjoy. :)

    ~Aegis

    6 comments · 426 views
  • ...
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A/N: This is my 60-minute pony writing challenge to myself. I am so, so sorry. XD


Big FREAKING Macintosh

Big Macintosh got out of bed, cracking the bones in his neck back and forth. The sun was rising over the horizon in a slow, lazy way. But the stallion was not lazy. He went about his morning routine, a big smile on his face. Today was his day off, and it was time to work his apple family mojo. Smirking at himself in the mirror, he trotted downstairs and to the breakfast table.

“Hey big brother, we forgot a few trees yesterday. Do you mind?” Applejack said, rushing back and forth to put things in her saddlebags. She was supposed to meet her friends for a picnic that day.

“Eeyup.” The massive stallion gave a roll of his shoulders, but went outside without his yoke. Both sisters and Granny Smith watched him go, blink-blinking. Oh, it was gonna be one of THOSE days.

Big Mac sauntered outside, spotting the trees that they’d missed yesterday. Smirking in that confident male way, he reared up and KUH-STOMPED the ground so hard that the earth shook. The trees practically shit themselves, dropping all the apples they had into the waiting buckets below. A few trips to the barn later, the buckets were put away and the stallion was off to town.

Everymare turned when Big Mac arrived on the scene, spitting his little sprig of wheat to one side. “Ohhh, its Big Macintosh!” one of them swooned and fell at the mere sight of him. “Eee, it’s Big Mac!” another leaned into a fencepost so she wouldn’t fall over.

“Ladies.” He said in his deep, syrupy voice as he went by. His smile really lit their fires. There were tucking tails and back legs pressing together everywhere he went. “Hm?” he stopped in front of a gaggle of mares that were fighting over something at a market stand. Extending his neck to see above the rabble, he cocked his head. Whatever the stand was selling, it didn’t matter, but there didn’t seem to be enough of whatever it was. Big Mac turned his head when he saw police ponies coming to break up the madness of frantic buying and yelling. He had to do something. “Hmm…” he separated himself from the herd and cleared his throat loudly. Everymare turned.

“Ohh, hello Big Mac! Hi Big Mac!” they were all ears for whatever the gorgeous stallion had to say.

“Ladies.” He said a singular word, smiling his manliest smile. There was swooning, but the guards were still on their way down the street. What if they arrested somepony? That wouldn’t be any good. Ponyville was so small, it could really hurt somepony’s reputation, spending the night in jail in a town where everybody knew everybody. The crimson stallion cleared his throat again, calling upon his most virile and sacred Apple Family stallion secrets. He had to end this rabble right away, and restore the peace. “Shuhhhh-ZAM!” he jabbed a hoof at the crowd with all the power he could muster. His eyebrows danced.

“OHHH GODS!” Everymare in the crowd suddenly pitched over, having orgasmed so hard they’d lost the feeling in their legs. Little hearts were flying everywhere. The guards arrived at the edge of the frantic herd just in time to see everypony decide it was post-coitus nap time. Purring mares strewn everywhere with the scent of sex heavy on the breeze, they just… the just didn’t know how to react to that. The public disturbance seemed over, but wow… really, wow.

Big Mac wandered on to enjoy his day off. He stopped at Sugar Cube corner, but spotted a little filly trying to get her kite out of a tree. “Big Mac! Big Mac!” she came up to him, rearing up and putting her tiny hooves on his massive chest. He looked down at her.

“Eyup?” he asked.

“Can you get my kite? Its too high up for me!” she whimpered.

“Eeyup.” The massive stallion went to the base of the offending tree, tilting his head back. He squinted until he saw the little string attached to it, and grabbed it in his teeth. He pulled a bit, but the tree wouldn’t let go. Growling a little, he wrapped the string around his front hooves and gave a mighty tug. The tree came down with a ground-shaking splinter. He untangled the kite and string, giving it to the tiny little filly. Turning, he shoved his head under the tree trunk and heaved the whole thing onto his back. With a loud grunt, he shoved the shattered tree, upright, back into the ground. It would grow back just fine, he knew a lot about growing trees.

“Thank you Big Mac!” the filly toddled off, her kite already in flight again.

“Eeyup.”

“Oh Big Mac!” A pair of mares approached from one side of him. He turned, blink-blinking. “We were wondering if you were up to stud this year?” they asked. Big Mac eyed them, considering. “My wife and I, well… we can’t have foals between us and we’d really like them!”

“Eeyup.” He smiled in such a way that their thighs quivered a bit. They led him along to a private home, and he did his sacred duty….

to both of them…

three times each

...over a coffee table.

Walking out of that house with his head high and happy cooing at his back, he shut the door with a toss of his mane. Eleven months later, both mares would give birth to beautiful foals full of energy and a zest for life. What else, when their stud stallion was Big Macintosh Apple?

Finally coming to his destination, the rugged and manly stallion stopped in front of the library after having a bite to eat at Sugarcube Corner. He stood there, rolling his shoulders one way, then another. He was a stallion on a mission. This was it. He didn’t get days off very often, but the muscled crimson pony was about to face his destiny. Clearing his throat, he went in.

The lovely lavender librarian inside, Twilight Sparkle, was perched over her desk with an innocent smile on her face. In front of her was some tome or another, and her eyes sparkled with grand interest at whatever she was reading. Her beautiful eyes flicked up at him after a time, for his hooves made heavy sounds as he entered. “Oh, hello Big Macintosh. Come to check something out?” she asked with a smile.

“Eeyup.” He checked around, to make sure nopony else was in the library. Shutting the door behind him, he swept powerfully across the room. Pushing Twilight’s book off the desk, he pressed his powerful chest out where she could see it best. The slender, beautiful mare gave a squeak as her eyes widened in awe and appreciation for his masculine form. “Today,” he said. “You.” He poked her chest with a more than friendly smile. Then he pressed her down over her own study desk and—


“Twilight what’re you writing?” Spike asked.

YERK!?” Twilight jerked upright from where she’d been scribbling furiously on parchment for the past hour. Her face went scarlet and the paper burst into flame by magic. “Nothing! NOTHING!” she said in a squeaky voice, her heart racing and beads of sweat going down her temples.

"You're breathing awful hard..." Spike said suspiciously.

"It's nothing!" squawked Twilight, face getting redder and redder.


END

#1 · 109w, 4d ago · 7 · ·

However sorry you are, you're not sorry enough

#2 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

OH MY CELESTIA THAT WAS HILAROUS!

Nice... really good!  :rainbowlaugh:

#3 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

ummm ok er....wow.:rainbowhuh:

#4 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Heh, this made my day!

#6 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

That ending... Is perfect. :rainbowlaugh:

Quite well done for only having one hour to work on it, and the sheer amount of silliness had me laughing more than once.

#7 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Ummm I don't know what to say:rainbowlaugh:. Just Wow I guess

#8 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

O_o I, I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

Here have this thumbs up while I carefully walk away...

#9 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Holy crap.......... my mind............

#10 · 109w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I... um... what ?

Aegis, what went through your head when you wrote this? I do have to say that it's funny for a 60-minute challenge.

#11 · 109w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Clearly, the Elements of Harmony approached the whole situation with Nightmare Moon from the wrong angle.

Zeo
#12 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

This made me have good laugh I give you a good thumbs up good sir! and spike stache for style!:moustache:

#13 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Freaking. Awesome.

perfect oneshot for a good laugh.

really nice work. now, i expect 24 more of these by this time tomorrow :eeyup:

#14 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Omfg that was rich... :rainbowlaugh:

#15 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Also, I JUST discovered that you can enhance the reading experience by about 9,000 times if you have the theme song to Shaft playing at the same time.

#16 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Hahahahaha!!  Nice especially the ending.

#17 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

*blinks* okay, well, apology accepted, don't do it again

#18 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

HOhhhohhohllly shiiieet!!!! That was awesome! :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

#19 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh goodness, a good comedy fic always makes me laugh, and this was definitely a good comedy fic :rainbowlaugh:

Great job! There's no such thing as too much comedy, or too much pony... And absolutely no such thing as too much pony comedy! Once more, great job :pinkiehappy:

#20 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

In the words of one of my friends: "BWAHAHAHAHA!"

:eeyup:

#21 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

I don't even...

At least it had manly stallions.

#22 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

That was hilarious! Well done. :moustache:

:rainbowlaugh:

#23 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!:pinkiegasp:

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: out of 5:twilightoops:

:eeyup:

#24 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

ABSOLUTE. FUCKING. GENIUS

#25 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

(Massive LOL session, then types with shaky hooves)

Oh my Luna! The ending made the rest of it all the funnier! :rainbowlaugh:

#26 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1325817

This is known in select circles as the 'instant lung transplant required' technique.

My face hurts from grinning and chuckling too much. Dammit Aegis.

#28 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

HOLY FUCKBALLS

I'm laughing too hard at this. :rainbowkiss:

#29 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Damn he causes mares to orgasm just by looking at them

*bows to new lord*

#30 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1326015

Who's the red farmer there that's a sex machine to all the mares?

#31 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Great twist at the end, loved it.

#32 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

I was wondering at first why it was all in italics. Then I got to the end. :rainbowlaugh:

#34 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

OH GOD MY SIDES!!!!!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

The ending is just perfect :rainbowlaugh::derpytongue2:

#35 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

...wat? And why is it in itali- Oh. That makes sense.

Still wat, though.

#36 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

*polite titter*

:trixieshiftleft:

:trixieshiftright:

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

:eeyup:

#37 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

I can't stop laughing. :rainbowlaugh:  :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

I Can't type properly! :D

#38 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh... my... stars... XD

#39 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Wait, Why is Aegis Shield banned?

#40 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1327121

Yea i just noticed that too

#41 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

BigTwi Ship?

Not sure if gusta.

#42 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

saw it coming, still hilarious

>>1327121

something story deletion something repload something angry admins something 24 hours only

#44 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Aegis.  Wat.  Da.  Buck.  :twilightoops:

That was hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

>>1327121

Reposting a story.  24 hour ban only.

#45 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

That was gloriously amazing, keep up the good work, and do more 60 minute stories, this was hilarious and awesome :eeyup:

#46 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Since I don's smoke, I need to go buy a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.  :moustache:

#47 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Hah.  And again, Hah.  You may have this win which I found on the street.  It will greatly enhance the beauty of your collection.

Also, should I be ashamed for loving this?

#48 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

What is this grey fluid flowing from my ear? Great, you melted my brain!

#49 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

Brilliant :rainbowlaugh:

#50 · 109w, 3d ago · · ·

Win. Just win.

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