A/N: 60 minutes to write something outrageous! Ready set go!
Rainbow FREAKING Dash
Rainbow FREAKING Dash emerged from her cloud home, garbed in her white gi and black belt. It wasn’t just any black belt, either, it was a double dragon belt. There was only one level higher in her karate art: the triple dragon belt. And today she was gonna earn it.
Rushing down from on high, she flared her wings and did an easy loop-dee-loop, sending flower petals and pollen through the air. Landing hard with a very authoritative clop of her hooves, she gave her mane a toss. Flower petals wafted through the air behind her, anime style, making her look positively enchanting. “Oh, there you are.” A meek little voice asked.
The cyan warrior turned. “Heya Fluttershy!” she chirped, coming over and throwing an arm around her meek friend. “Thanks again for coming to my test today. I hafta have a witness, to make sure it all goes down legit, y’know?”
Fluttershy nodded a bit, trying to smile. She really wasn’t into the sorts of violent things that came with karate, but if it was important to Rainbow Dash she could try. Pushing her pink mane out of her eyes, she nodded kindly. “Oh, it’s no problem really. Its sounds exciting! I just hope its not TOO exciting!” she looked around, not sure her poor heart could take it.
“It’s no biggie Fluttershy, I’ve just gotta—WHOA!” She side-stepped, grabbed Fluttershy and tackled her to the ground. Where the yellow Pegasus had just been was a large, spiny ninja star! “Uh oh.” Rainbow said, a frown crossing her face as she spread her wings aggressively. Fluttershy wilted back behind her as the bushes began to rustle, whimpering. “Come outta there! Show yourself!” Rainbow demanded.
Suddenly, NINJAS! They burst from the thicket, a group of five stallions armed to the teeth with swords and chains and Celestia knew what else! “NYO’OHHHHHH!” one of them spun-spun-spun a pair of chucks about, black mask hiding his shouting face.
“Here to test me for my triple dragon belt, huh?! Well you leave Flutters out of this!” Rainbow reared up and struck a karate pose. Whipping her mane out of her face, she glared at each of them in turn.
Fluttershy was to one side sitting on her haunches, her eyes big and soft as she watched her hero get ready for the show down. The slick and tight line of her back legs was beautiful. The toned muscle of her wings and shoulders were just perfect. The gi covered most of it, sure, but Fluttershy could see it all in her mind’s eye. Rainbow Dash’s body was an athletic machine, rearing to go.
“Nyoo’hhhh ching-chong-nyaaa myoo ka-cha-chaaa!” one of the ninjas said, pointing his katana at Rainbow Dash with fire in his eyes. Her eyebrows shot up. Why, that cheeky bastard!
“Well your mothers wear bridles to bed!” Rainbow shot back angrily, red in the face. All five ninja’s looked positively OUTRAGED at such a claim. How dare she insult their mothers?! Fluttershy put a hoof over her mouth, gasping softly. Such language flying back and forth, oh my...
“Nyoooo’hhh!” The leader of the ninja’s declared, red veins in his eyes. Suddenly they rushed forth as a group, ready to tear the mare limb from limb. Rainbow Dash took her cleansing breath, a few flower petals fluttering past her head in the process.
“I must be… cool…” she whispered, watching them come. “Quiet… but mostly cool… twenty percent cooler… than them…” she let out a humming sort of mantra. She widened her stance slowly, eyeing the katana and the nunchucks especially. She planned it all carefully, oh so carefully. Fluttershy whimpered, the violence was about to eru--!
RAINBOW RUSHED FORWARD TOOK THE SWORD SMOTE THE FIRST GRABBED AN ARM BROKE IT WITH A LOUD KARATE SCREAM! SHE HUNG THE SECOND BY HIS SCROTUM IN A TREE KAMEHAMAHA BLAST IN HIM AWAY! TURNING WITH A SNARL SHE GERMANE SUPLEXED ANOTHER INTO THE GROUND AS SHE WAS GRABBED FROM THE FRONT AND STRUCK FROM BEHIND OH CELESTIA THE HUMANITY!
Fluttershy covered her eyes with her hooves, whimpering in feminine distress as the battle raged around her. “Oh no, oh no!” she said, shifting back and forth while flying hooves and clashing weapons went back and forth.
DASHIE TOOK A HOOF TO THE FACE SPLATTER OF BLOOD GRABBED THE ATTACKER BY THE NECK SNAP WENT THE NECK! HER GI RIPPED IN A DRAMATIC FASHION AND SHE TOSSED THE SHIRT AWAY AS SHE WAS GANGPILED. SCREAMING WITH A BURST OF STRENGTH SHE SENT STALLIONS FLYING EVERYWHERE. CRACK! SHE BROUGHT ONE NINJA’S SPINE DOWN ON HER KNEE AND THEN USED HIS ENTIRE BODY LIKE A CLUB TO SMACK ANOTHER NINJA! HWA’AAAAHHH!
“Oh goodness! Oh goodness!” Fluttershy sank to her belly as a dead ninja sailed over her head, hiding under her hooves and shaking. “B-be careful! Oh my!” she hide her face in her pink mane. Explosions went off here and there, and trees uprooted themselves as Dashie took on the ninja swarm (it had been five ninja’s a minute ago…?).
FLARING HER WINGS TO TAKE THE BATTLE SKYWARD DASHIE DODGED A BARRAGE OF MAGIC BLASTS FROM A UNICORN NINJA UNTIL POW POW POW SHE WAS SHOT DOWN! SHOUTING ANGRILY SHE KAMIKAZED INTO HER ATTACKER AND THEY TUMBLED INTO A MUDDY DITCH. GRABBING HIM BY HIS HORN SHE THRUST HIS FACE INTO THE DIRT—HOOF TO THE BALLS, WHAPPO! LEAPING OUT OF THE DITCH COVERED IN MUD DASHIE LANDED HARD AS A NINJA IN RED RUSHED AT HER. BARRAGING HER WITH PUNCHES HIS HOOF WAS SUDDENLY CAUGHT! DASHIE SNAPPED HIS WRIST, PICKED HIM UP AND SLAMMED HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE GROUND! CRASH!
There was silence. Rainbow Dash stood there panting, covered in mud and dressed in half of a gi. She’d been up against five ninjas at the start of this fight scene, and now there were well over three dozen lying dead or dying in the field around her. Fluttershy was in the middle of the carnage, shaking like a leaf. Wiping the blood from her mouth, Rainbow trotted to her and scooped her up to her hooves. “Oh Rainbow Dash…” Fluttershy said, soft in the eyes and flushed at the sight of her. She looked like a wreck, but she’d bested all those ninjas.
“S’no problem. And check out what one of them was carrying.” Dashie smiled, turning to show off the legendary triple dragon belt around her middle.
“You’re the best, Dashie. Woo-hoo--!” Fluttershy said at barely above a whisper. Her smile was big, though. “You protected me, thank you.”
“All in a day’s work for the iron pony.” Rainbow flexed for a moment, chuckling. “It’s part’a what makes me so awesome.” She eyed Fluttershy a bit, a certain mischief rising in her eyes. “Now, as far as paying me back? Those ninja’s don’t kick their own butts, you know.”
“P-paying you back?” Fluttershy whispered, pinkening in the cheeks. Dashie’s wings had opened all the way into their full, glorious display. “Oh my!” she was swept up in Rainbow Dash’s arms, stroked comfortingly as her blush grew hotter and hotter.
“It’s tiring work, y’know.” Rainbow said with a predatory smirk. “I’d need somepony to help me relax after all that.”
“Oh, Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy whispered, her eyes large and doe-like as her best friend pressed her sexy advantage. Before she knew it the muddy, sweat-stained pony had grabbed her up and pulled her into the filthiest, tongue-filled kiss anypony had ever gotten. Shoving a dead ninja’s body aside as they went, Rainbow pressed Fluttershy against a tree. Something about the violence of the whole battle had really turned the blue mare on. The adrenaline, the sweat, the screaming ninjas, oh Celestia it was so hot! Fluttershy groaned helplessly, her hooves rushing up and into the chromatic mane as they tumbled into a bush next to the tree.
“Spread your legs, you sexy mare.” Rainbow pressed dominantly, laying over her and working her pink mane out of the way so she coul--!
“I was wondering when you’d get to the good part.” Rainbow smirked from behind Fluttershy.
“YEEEP?!” FLuttershy dropped her quill and in her panic stuffed all three pages of her fan fiction into her mouth! The paper crumpled, and Rainbow Dash burst into laughter, pointing at her. The butter yellow Pegasus turned a miserable red in the face and whimpered.
“Hey now, you were doing just fine--- aside from that all capital letters thing.” Rainbow grinned, pulling the paper out of her mouth and tossing it aside. “Now then…” Fluttershy gasped as she felt herself being tilted romantically back out of her desk chair. Meep!
The End
Oh my...I can't believe you're continuing this
I shall read!
EDIT: Yes.
This brings a whole new meaning to DELISHOSH FANFICSH!
...
Wow... Just.... Wow.... I figured it was Pinkie writing it once you got to the all caps parts. Fluttershy just seemed too obvious and I couldn't help but read the all caps parts in Pinkie's voice.
Oh god, I did not expect ANOTHER one of these amazing creations xD
The all caps parts and the ending
I just love the whole idea of these in general. Great stuff, thanks for writing all of your fics. You've brought many a smile to us all
I thought this was a one shot. I'm happy to be wrong. Loved it.
This was gorgeous! MOAR!
This is golden. Pure genius!
By Celestia's Hair Extensions, this is incredible.
It's like deep fried junkfood - in a good way.
There's MORE to this?
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1513293 /copypaste
What he said and posted.
MOTHER OF GOD!!
WOAH! Fluttershy has a really pervy mind!
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*goes on fimfiction for the night
*sees update to this one random story I liked once a time ago for how humorous it got as well as its awesomeness.
OH HELL THE F*** YES!!!!
This was another funny one, like the last. When the story started saying "Dashie" at one point I was actually expecting/hoping the twist would turn out to be Pinkie Pie doing hero worship with a fanfiction (anime style no less). So this ending didn't have as much zing for me. Still got a laugh though anywho.
I am sad that I cannot favourite this.
Because I already did, weeks ago.
*pomf*
.... go on.
1513176 Also, OMG IS LINK!
Lol it worked out for her in the end thought.
I saw the story title in my faves and was like "What?" Looked at the chapters and was like "OOoohhhh."
Yes. Simply, yes.
Imma beat this mothafuka with another mothafuka
I followed this story just because the first one was so good, i didn't even think there would be more!
THis is being continued?
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8055-Beautiful.gif
Thank Fucking Celestia!
I did not expect a new chapter from this!
And I did not expect that from Fluttershy!
Still says incomplete
I thought of this fight scene (couldn't find one without the music).
Hehehe those are so bad they are like... double negative ending as a positive!
So corny, so goooood.
There have that, knowing that I am laughing my guts out right now xD
Oh thank you for continuing this
What next? Twilight FREAKING Sparkle? xD
Aeeeeeggiiiiiss, stop working on so many stories at ooooooonce
What just happened.
I mean, there was an awesome fight, and then... Whut.
epic!!!!!!!111111
Brilliant.
OMAIGODTHERE'SMORE!!!!!!!
Edit: that was awesome!
1514471 and that is quite some fight scene, although yeah, the music is an "interesting" choice.
Awesome. You should do one where Strongheart writes about Braeburn being sexy and none of the mares can resist him
Opalescence fantasizing about Gummy.
lol
Yesss!!! There's more!!!
1513857
I remember that poster!
1516299
WOOOH! Another denizen of the internet has answered my call!
Isn't it obvious, Rainbow Dash? Pinkie helped with paragraphs whenever Fluttershy stopped to clop to what she had written so far.
At first, I thought it was Rainbow Dash writing this. I think Fluttershy has more self-esteem than how she wrote herself in her story. Unless she's a sub in a Dom/Sub relationship (I'd use "seme" and "uke", but as they're both female, that doesn't work, since those are terms used in male/male relationships only)
Honestly, until it got to the FlutterDash part (and even then) I thought it was Scootaloo writing it.
I don't really have anything worthwhile to say, so instead. Have my heart:
AND THEN... THEY HAD SEX(or more likely Rainbow took advantage of the uncouncious Fluttershy)!, THE END
this desserves a Bruce Lee seal of aproval...
...wat.
You're continuing this?
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw177_130791448368.jpg
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Continuing this?
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