I get what you’re thinking, but this whole thing needs work if your story is to get good. That, and it’s so obvious it’s from Para something. Yeah, I’ve read the comic too.
1: I recommend Twilight wearing a student uniform instead of a teachers. 2: Rarity needs to act like a lonely girl in her own bed wearing a wedding dress. 3: Rainbow Dash should wear a sexy jumpsuit. 4: Fluttershy should wear only a bikini made of leaves and vines. And have sex out in broad daylight on a hill. Just to make it kinkier. 5: Have Applejack seem like she’s winning, only have her being ridden like a cowgirl. 6: Finally, have Pinkie Pie dressed like a sexy clown girl and make Flash’s night a circus of fun.🤡 And the final night of sex, you can do whatever you feel like you wanna write.
"This unicorn wanted to please the stallion, so she created this exact spell just to make him happy." Celestia explained. "However, the spell made her too horny and the moment she made love with this stallion, she turned him into her personal sex slave.
Two things come to mind.
Is Celestia absolutely sure THAT ONE isn't Chrysalis after the spell mutated her? And two, Twilight might've overlooked this little detail in her plan to contain Flash: is it just the being too horny that made the Unicorn enslave her coltfriend, or is it a part of the spell itself making the affected simply naturally turn their partners into slaves..?
Twilight runs through the halls of Canterlot Castle before she reached Celestia's studies and open the door to find Celestia there, wearing her pure white royal gown. "Welcome and thank you for coming Twilight." Celestia said with a warm smile.
her gown is transparent
Comment posted by Blaze-saber deleted Oct 3rd, 2022
"Dragon Lord Ember had asked for him and he will be back until the end of the month." Twilight answered. "But he didn't explain why she wanted him over."
Interesting, i hope we can see what is he doing in the dragon lands.
although it is in some ways similar to the palcomix, come on this story is not bad. (I should say more but I tell you for PM) Will definitely go into reading later. P.S: try to add something totally new, even if inspired by palcomix something more could be useful to you.
I can easily tell that this is based off the palcomix mlp story but with Flash instead of Spike off this opening alone. Assuming that you made some changes to the next chapters or not, I'm interested in seeing how you handle this given that the premise of how this event is different.
Also, I might have some ideas but that'll depend on how far I get into reading this and how much you update it.
Just make sure you put protection on
This sounds too much like the Palcomix story, ‘The Power of Dragon Mating’.
11375921
It's based off it but it's completely different I assure you.
I get what you’re thinking, but this whole thing needs work if your story is to get good. That, and it’s so obvious it’s from Para something. Yeah, I’ve read the comic too.
1: I recommend Twilight wearing a student uniform instead of a teachers.
2: Rarity needs to act like a lonely girl in her own bed wearing a wedding dress.
3: Rainbow Dash should wear a sexy jumpsuit.
4: Fluttershy should wear only a bikini made of leaves and vines. And have sex out in broad daylight on a hill. Just to make it kinkier.
5: Have Applejack seem like she’s winning, only have her being ridden like a cowgirl.
6: Finally, have Pinkie Pie dressed like a sexy clown girl and make Flash’s night a circus of fun.🤡 And the final night of sex, you can do whatever you feel like you wanna write.
11375938
Thanks for the advice. And the reason why I have Queen Chrysalis added to the tags, is because she has a role in this as well
This sounds promising. I’m excited to see where it goes.
Definitely needs more description and scene setup.
These lines are more or less lifted from the Palcomix comic, but here we have nothing visual to see as we read.
Two things come to mind.
Is Celestia absolutely sure THAT ONE isn't Chrysalis after the spell mutated her? And two, Twilight might've overlooked this little detail in her plan to contain Flash: is it just the being too horny that made the Unicorn enslave her coltfriend, or is it a part of the spell itself making the affected simply naturally turn their partners into slaves..?
11377909
I'm sure they are just concerned for the ponies of Equestria or something like that
her gown is transparent
Interesting, i hope we can see what is he doing in the dragon lands.
although it is in some ways similar to the palcomix, come on this story is not bad. (I should say more but I tell you for PM)
Will definitely go into reading later.
P.S: try to add something totally new, even if inspired by palcomix something more could be useful to you.
I can easily tell that this is based off the palcomix mlp story but with Flash instead of Spike off this opening alone. Assuming that you made some changes to the next chapters or not, I'm interested in seeing how you handle this given that the premise of how this event is different.
Also, I might have some ideas but that'll depend on how far I get into reading this and how much you update it.