How to Interrogate a Unicorn

by marmalado

2. Trick the Unicorn

Try holding up a mirror and saying "Who did it?" and see if the unicorn points at its reflection. NOTE: This doesn't always work, because many unicorns know this trick. ANOTHER NOTE: Please keep this handbook away from unicorns, because we don't want more of them to learn this trick.

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It had been about 15 minutes since Rarity had begun telling the story of her friend, and Olive was positively bored out of her mind.

She was expecting a rather simple story. What she got was something far more elaborate that could be an author's next big hit.

Resting her cheek in the crook of her hand, her brown eyes turning glossy and dull, she fought to stay awake as Rarity continued to tell all about this mysterious alicorn known as "Twilight Sparkle". She had to admit, the story was fun for a time, but soon it delved into her suspect talking about every single adventure. As much fun as the agent had with Otto, she didn't feel the need to enlighten people about every case they went on.

"And that's it."

"Huh?" Olive blinked and sat up. "Oh. C-cool, I guess."

"Oh! I'm so sorry, darling, was I boring you?" she asked. "Sometimes I do tend to get carried away telling other ponies about our exploits. I simply must put an end to that..."

"No, no...not at all." Olive stifled a yawn as best she could, hoping Rarity wouldn't pick up on it. "Anyway, uh...next on the list is..."

She reached behind her back and pulled out a mirror, pointing it at Rarity so she could see her reflection. "Did you do it?"

"What- no! I already told you I didn't!" Rarity waved a hoof. "Exactly what do you think I am, a brainless filly?"

"Well, not a filly..."

Rarity scoffed. "Are you accusing me of being idiotic?! Why, that is just rude!"

"I- wait, no..." Olive tried to backtrack, knowing that in all of her hatred of unicorns, she had gone too far this time. "I'm sorry, I meant to tack on 'and not brainless either'."

"Hmm..." Rarity didn't seem convinced.

"Look, I said I'm sorry. I mean it. I don't know what more proof I need to give."

Rarity scoffed. "Fine. Now, can you please let me go?"

"No."

"But why?!"

The cry was practically a whine, and it got on Olive's nerves right quick. She restrained herself from lashing out again, however. "Because I'm not done interrogating you."

"But I haven't done anything!"

"Really?" Olive reached behind her back again and took out a manila folder, opening it to show a few forms and a few pictures of the crime scene hidden away inside. "Then what do you call this?"

Rarity looked at the photos. One of them showed her curly purple tail as she ducked behind a tree, while another showed her from the back as she faced a tree whose bark was studded with gems. The third photo was of her getting apprehended by two Odd Squad agents, her face contorted into a scream of terror and hatred.

"W-well...perhaps it was a pony who looked like me. After all, it certainly wouldn't surprise me. I did have a pony who looked identical to me...and even tried to pose as me in one instance."

"Did they have a curly mane and tail like yours?"

"Um...well, not exactly. It was curled, but not as much as mine. Only at the ends."

"Aha!" Olive got a mad look in her eyes that unnerved Rarity greatly. "So it was you! You can't deny it any longer! I've got you cornered..." She exhaled. "And I'm not backing down!"

Rarity's eyes widened and her ears folded downwards. Immediately, her mind ran through the question of, "Can I beat this human with my bare hooves?" The answer was rather complicated, as she had no idea how strong Olive was. She had four large limbs, but two -- the legs -- appeared to be for standing, not so much for fighting.

The unicorn flashed back to when Olive had been disgruntled about taking her sandwich, and she had to fight a smile that tried to form on her maw. I bet I can get under this girl's skin...obviously she doesn't like unicorns very much, and that includes me.

But first, I need to get out of this sticky situation.

"Have you considered any other suspects, darling?"

"A-a-any...any other..."

"Suspects. See here?" Rarity pointed at the second photo. "Exactly how do you know it was me who put gems on this tree? And honestly..." She chuckled. "I am certainly not a pony to go around placing gems where they simply do not belong. Fluttershy would not be happy if she saw this."

"But- but it-"

A pause.

Olive took a deep breath. "If you'll excuse me for just one moment. Don't leave this room."

Rarity nodded as Olive made her way out of the interrogation room.

The second the door closed, the sound of a muffled and irritated scream filled the mare's ears, and she took this opportunity to let the smile she had been holding back form on her maw.

Meanwhile, outside the interrogation room, Otto nearly choked on his apple from where he was sitting at his desk located on the first floor of the bullpen, and other agents turned their heads to look at the source of the sound.

"Olive!" Otto swallowed his apple bite and had a few coughs, eyeing Olive marching down the stairs. "What the hell was that?!"

"This unicorn...is going...to drive me insane."

"In other news, we work in Odd Squad, the sky is blue, and I'm eating this apple!" Otto did jazz hands to punctuate his sarcasm. "There's a reason why Ms. O told you never to interrogate unicorns again."

"I'm going to get the answers I want, Otto."

"You tried the old mirror trick?"

"Yes."

"Have you tried a truth serum?"

Olive's eyes widened.

Otto pulled something out from his back and handed it to her. It was nothing more than a simple apple-flavored juice box.

"Have her drink this, and then thank me later."

In a flash, Olive was already running back up the stairs, not bothering to care about her surroundings.

As Rarity was filing her hooves, she heard the door slam, which made her jump slightly as she swiveled her head to look at Olive, holding the juice box in her hand and wearing a rather crazed expression on her face.

"I, um...may I help you, darling?"

Slowly, Olive walked over to her and slammed the juice box down on the table. "Drink this. Now."

"Oh! Why, thank you." The unicorn lit up her horn and removed the straw from the packaging, carefully sticking it into the mixture. Her nose twitched as it caught the scent of something rather...unusual about this juice box. She tilted her head, but kept the innocent look plastered on her face as she glanced at Olive with her azure eyes. "But can you please drink it first?"

"What."

"Well, I'd like to make sure it isn't poisonous or anything. Something smells a little funny to me."

"Maybe it's your body odor."

"Darling!" Rarity's eyes widened. "I'll have you know that I shower twice a day like everypony should, thank you very much. Perhaps the same cannot be said for you."

"Of course I shower every day!" Olive snapped. "Now drink the stupid juice!"

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted you to drink it?"

"FINE!" In a fit of rage, Olive snatched the juice box and chugged all its contents, down to the last drop. With her head tilted back, Rarity took the opportunity to let a knowing smirk form on her face as she internally praised herself for letting Olive drink the very thing she herself had most likely tampered with.

She timed the disappearance of the smirk just as Olive brought her head down...and just as she froze as she realized what she had done.

An unholy scream left the girl's throat as she collapsed to her knees and began slamming the floor with her fist. In turn, Rarity merely sighed and shook her head. What a filly, to be throwing a such tantrum like this...but I suppose we'll find out her true colors any minute now.

The screaming session went on for several minutes, and all the while, Otto looked up at the interrogation room with worry and fear in his eyes, wondering if maybe, just maybe, he needed to check up on his partner...

Comments

[Teikan]

Meh

[overdue]

not familiar with odd squad but this is really endearing