11
77
61
Joined November 2011
137
9,392
Twilight has issues with the new mare in town. Pinnacle is smarter, prettier, more connected and more talented than everyone combined. Why can't Twi love the gaudy newcomer with the contrived and complicated past? As the lone voice of dissent she finds the only possible solution; a sledgehammer.
Moar?
PLease?!
A Sequel/continuation Is Needed
NOW
During the climax with the Party and the sledgehammer, i could feel my heart beating. A fast and steady THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.
It was awesome, ive never read a story that gave me an adrenaline rush like that.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
That bird... that bird wants more MOAR, more than any other cockatoo in the history of the world. It made both of us lol - literally.
While this was a one shot that seized him (in the middle of when he should have been writing the next chapter of School Daze, apologies to our regular readers of that for the delay!), he does have a horror themed series in mind for the future - annnnnd, that's all I can say regarding that. 
Wow...I just...wow. I came. I read. I lol'd my head off.
This was one of the rare stories I've seen where the summary actually made me laugh. And I must say, the story itself didn't disappoint. It was a beautiful display of hilarious mind-f*ckery that left me feeling strangely violated, as if I'd been molested by a Swedish reindeer in a vat of strawberry Jell-O. I love it.
I'll admit it, I laughed at parts. The random makeouts were very "wat" inducing, but were made all the better once you found out why it was all happening. Nice twist at the end, I didn't expect that to happen. 3.5/5 for a funny story, but docked some points due to some spelling and grammar errors here and there. Very amusing.
Well... Very good. The writing is very exciting and I love the twist where the villain is revealed. And lets be honest... The part where Twilight bashed Pinnacle's head in was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very satisfying.
That.
That was BRILLIANT. So morbidly, terribly brilliant!
First off, the concept alone had me sold. It was so meta. Haha.
But the way you managed the humor throughout had me enthralled. I love how you have me laughing from the first few paragraphs and then contrast it with this terrible, sickening image of, well, people who read it will see. Wow. It made it so much worse. I couldn't laugh after that, so when she started crying, it just worked. It worked so well!
Ah, the omnibus. It was a bit long, but insightful. It's always fascinating when you begin to see the seams in a form of media.
As for the story itself, it was a bit short, but it gave voice to the opinion of many bronies toward "original" characters. It's not going to become a manestream title like Cupcakes, Fallout Equestria, or On A Cross And Arrow, but it's still an amusing little tale.
Awesome. Words cannot describe the positive emotion this has evoked in me. I too have been annoyed by Mary Sues and in turn THIS one made my stomach churn, slightly, I agreed with Twilight through most of the story. Especially the part about being the princess's new student. Not to mention beating rainbow dash in a race ( how would she do that without wings unless she's directly related to the pony equivalent of The Flash ) and the strange cutie mark. Nice hints by the way, they were well hidden. One more thing:
Fake Trixie had it coming. One you don't surprise people in their home ( especially the bedroom, let aalone the bed ). Two you don't surprise people by making out with them ( even if they would otherwise want that ). And three shouldn't take the advice of someone like that on someone who could literaly vaporize you if you "surprise" them.
This is just...fantastic. Fan-freaking-tastic. I love comedies that play with the fourth wall and you've created a work of genius here, you have.
Oh, wow. I thought at first Twilight was just going bananas on an obvious Mary Sue, but I should have gotten the FS hint! And then I felt a little dumb for not caatching on about something being definitely off... when the plot twist came about, I was "Huh?", I totally did not see that coming! (might have to do with crazy Twi though).
I definitely did love your depiction of a Sue, and the Discord part was sweet (and I'm definitely favorable to leaving Discord out of the tags, the surprise's too good to be spoiled).
A great one shot, 5/5 good sir! Keep up the good work. ^^
Bravo.
You deserve a goddamn medal for making such an eloquent mix of murder and story.
Another fantastic story, PP! I enjoyed this as a one-shot. Can't imagine it would have made a good chapter story though... Ha! 
Definitely don't add the discord tag. It's just right as it is. Very, very terrible having to "kill" her friends! And having half of a Pinkie Pie still fighting... Oooh! That is nightmare fuel right there. Excellent work, though. I can't wait to see what you put out next, be it School Daze or that new Celestia fic, I am excited for it. 
So, obviously, spoilers.
At the end of the story, Twilight has escaped Discord's trap. Discord is trapped in mini-Ponyville. Twi is in the basement of Subar Cube corner, where the mini-town trap was running. Pinkie goes to gather up her friends as the unfortunate unicorn breaks down from emotional exhaustion.
Any more specific meaning to the blueberry pie is left as an exercise to the reader.
I hope I'm not late to the game! Whatever you do, don't add that discord tag! This was a fantastic story, and when discord made his appearance, justifying all the craziness of Twilights murderous rampage in a somehow comical manner, I was thinking to my self, "no WAY! Discord!? Candy Ponies?! Madness!"
That was a fantastic way to play on horrible writing cliches and wretched character building that sadly can infect fan fiction like a cancer, and plus you even played on the shows own weird quirks, like the whole candy pony bit.
M. Night himself would be hard pressed to come up with a better twist ending that was so unbelievably funny, in a dark sorta way. (is it bad that I thought Twi going on a sledge hammer murder spree eating marshmellow remains was comical?)
Great job, truly! Happy new year.
So the blueberry pie is like the spinning top?
Well that was amazing! 
wub
I love the twist! 
Spoilers
I expected this to be horribly bloody with gore and end up with Twilight in jail or some sappy ending, but it was just right. I never expected it having to do something with Discord, either. I absolutely hate Mary Sues, so Twi killing Pinnacle was, morbidly so, satisfying. 
Also, Rainbow Dash = Skittles?
Sledgehammers or flamethrowers seem to be the weapons of choice when killing Mary Sues. And maaaaan, was Pinnacle a mary sue. I'm surprised she wasn't an alicorn on top of things and was actually Celestia/Luna's daughter or missing sister and princess to boot.
I love the fact that:
A) Lauren Faust originally intended Cadence to be a unicorn.
B) Cadence is an SUDDENLY alicorn NEW MYTHOLOGY CHANGE.
Each of these stories is a reaction to a meta concept. Story one was about being aware of a Mary Sue. Story two is about a character who becomes aware of an alteration in continuity while everyone else assumes nothing has changed.
>>449626 You're quite clever, you know that? I know some people are sore and believe this to be a fast one Hasbro's pulling for the sake of marketing value (and I agree that's probably what's going on), but I am confident Studio B will find a way to make it work. This Shining bloke has "Stu" written all over him, and not the good " makes pudding at 4 am" kind either.
Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
9,392 ( 13,564 )
More
Less
Post Comment
Refresh
Yes, Sir....
Ummmm... that was..... interesting........... 
But seriously.... what the fuck...? 
Image: http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/citizen_cane.gif
you keep up the awesome, good sir.
Image: http://i989.photobucket.com/albums/af16/smac62/joker-clap.gif
Image: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldwj4oqxWU1qf4v5to1_500.gif
ING AWESOME!!!!!!!
Cancel
Send