The Ballad of Hazard and Von Vinnin

by A_Lightfeather

The Steam Engine

From afar, it was curious. Up close, it was monstrous. Easily 20 feet tall of steel and wood, pistons hissing and spinning, huge metal wheels that you could run inside of, and a smokestack emitting a sickly black gas. Two rods stuck out from the front of unknown purpose, facing downward and connected to a set of pistons by the hot to the touch center of the machine. It was painted in bright reds and greens with the D&L Rail Company logo on the side cab. The entire camp in awe, it slouched to a full stop and emitted a set of clicks and whirs.

It was then the pony’s eyes fell upon the creature in the cab of the menace of steel. It was a gryphon. Such a creature was an unusual sight out this far, even if there were a few gryphon settlers up Dodge City way. He had a grin much the same as the work boss as he stepped out of the cab.

“Good evening.” His voice was thick with an accent Hazard couldn’t pin. “I am Hester Von Vinnin, representative of the D&L Rail Company.”

His suit was immaculate for driving such a machine. A fine jacket, cream shirt underneath, and pants with boot covers over his hind legs. A red pin was on his jacket sleeve, shiny as the rest of the buttons on his suit and top hat.

“You must be the boss at this site.” Von Vinnin looked towards the work boss and sent a claw to dig in his coat. “I have a message from the company. You are being recalled immediately. Your services at this site are no longer necessary.”

The work boss’ smirk left his face immediately and Von Vinnin hardly gave him time to say anything before producing a manila yellow envelope to his hooves.

“Gry-ahem… Ponies… I will now oversee this work site and am here to make another announcement.” The interloper unfurled his wings and left upward, gently letting himself hover onto the roof of the steam drill’s cab.

The workponies shifted, gathering around the machine as Von Vinnin produced a second letter from his jacket. Envelope in hand, he surveyed the ponies around him. It was a wide mix of reactions. Some hopeful at the sight of a new machine to help the work, a few anxious at what this might mean. Others still simply fascinated by the strange course the day was taking after weeks of monotony.

“Truly a curious people.” Von Vinnin muttered to himself.

Hazard stood in the back, a frown across his face. He may not have the wisdom of the older workponies but he shared a feeling this was not good. The way this gryphon carried himself, the arrogance. There was something to expected of a stereotype many had heard as colts and fillies but there was a hint of malaise in him.

Von Vinnin tore open the envelope and unwrapped the paper within. He already knew what it was going to say be he made a show of reading over the first few lines in silence as though he was being thorough.

“Mares and stallions, I am here to inform you your contracts are being cut short.”

An immediate note of discontent sounded from below him. Cries demanding explanation and of promises broken mixed with simple confusion. Von Vinnin waited. Hazard looked at him, silently. His face had a soft smile. Any other time it may have been one of concern or friendliness, but here it was just condescending, a sign Von Vinnin was either enjoying or indifferent to the situation.

As they shouts died down, the gryphon continued. “Your payment will be cut accordingly. This does not reflect on the performance of the workers or the site. This is as a result of changing conditions and the introduction of new methods. Hester Von Vinnin-“ He flashed a smile at his own name. “-will take over all operations and ensure the new timeline is followed. Within 24 hours of arrival, he will inform all staff that is to be cut and inform all remaining of new working arrangements, expectations, and payment as set by the D&L Rail Company.”

Confusion and irritation quickly blossomed into rage.

“Cut?!”

“They’re chewing us out an’ spittin’ us back out!”

“Bastard is gonna replace us!”

Von Vinnin looked down at the red faced ponies with the same, little smile. It only faltered as the first pony began to push the machine, then another. From one side, a dozen or so ponies began pushing on the drill, barely getting its mighty wheels off the dirt. Von Vinnin let out a squawk of surprise and began shouting in a language not a single one of them could parse.

“Stop!”

The voice roared behind them and they flinched. The machine clanked back into the dust, rumbling in irritation at being disturbed and handled so roughly.

Hazard stood where the voice had come from, a scowl across his muzzle. “That ain’t anyway to solve this.”

Von Vinnin, stirred from his stupor, whistled. “The problem is already solved, Herr..?”

“Hazard.”

“Herr Hazard!” Von Vinnin raised his eyebrows at the name. “Coincidently, the office told me you were the first to be let go. Your services are no longer needed now that we have this.” Von Vinnin stomped a claw on the machine’s roof.

Hazard was taken aback, unprepared for himself to be cut like this. “Me? And who else?”

“Well, I would say…” The gryphon looked over the still angry mass. “About half of everycreature here. We simply do not need so many claws… Hooves, rather.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

Von Vinnin smirked again, a claw extending to the machine. “This, dear boy. Please. Observe.” Von Vinnin waved in front of him, shooing the ponies just in front of the steam drill to move. Another flutter of his wings and he was inside the cab once more, working at switches, levers, and the like before the steam engine began to slowly rumble.

Hazard stepped back. His frown grew as the steam machine slowly lurched, wheels barely turning as Von Vinnin directed it towards the edge of the rail. With a loud clang, one of the metal rods on its front engaged. It slammed downward, in an instant putting a rail spike into the crossbeam. A plum of dust flew out, joining the steam belched from the pistons. The machine didn’t even stop as it lurched forward and another authoritative slam sent a second spike into the wood. The gryphon laughed and leaned back out of the cab.

“You see?! With this, the work of dozens is done by one!” Von Vinnin slipped a lever forward and the steam engine slowly lurch back to a stop and the engine calmed. He chuckled as he stepped back out.

“You see why you are being cut, Herr Hazard? Your skills with the hammer are no longer needed.”

Hazard nodded, slowly. Von Vinnin could tell the pony was thinking, hunting for a retort.

“How about this.” Hazard began. “I don’t think your machine is all that. I can drive more rails than it in the same time.”

Von Vinnin looked at Hazard with a face twisted in amused surprise. “Herr Hazard, that is not how this sort of thing works. You cannot simply say you are better and expect to stay.”

“And why not? If I can get more track planted than that, why did you get it?”

“Because you simply cannot. You are one pony, that is technology. You cannot stop technology.”

“I’m not stopping technology, I am just better than it.”

Von Vinnin shook his head towards the ground. “This is not a story book; a wagon is coming tonight to fetch you and everyone else being let go.”

Hazard grimaced. “Then we have till tonight. You’re in charge here now aren’t you? Give me a shot at least.”

The gryphon looked about to laugh but held himself sort. He sighed and looked Hazard in the eye. “Fine. I shall show you that you have been made a mistake and you are made redundant. I will give you your little competition. What are your terms, Herr Hazard?” The tone had shifted. Von Vinnin was going to drive this little upstart into the dirt. Some lowly pony, thinking he could fight this? Laughable.

“After supper, the fastest to work till sundown. If I win, everyone stays. If you win, I will admit your machine is better than us.”

The gryphon stood still. It was a very one-sided set of bets. But it was something he was willing to accept given the steam drill’s superiority over a single unicorn and the prospect of hearing this pony admit defeat.

“Very well. I accept your terms. Until then, however, work will go on.” Von Vinnin looked around and raised his voice. “You hear that? Back to work! We have wasted enough time discussing this fool’s errand as is! Bwegen!”