“Good. Now come on. I need someone to look at this. You better not give me horse rabies or something, I swear to Christ…”

He should be more worried about the infection he may have given her. She seems to have enjoyed his retaliation a little too much...

Anon stood on the front porch, now more than a little nervous. He watched the sun dip over the horizon, licking his lips.

Anon had been to Applejack’s farm many times, but he had never seen it this quiet. It put him on edge, had his head on a swivel as he walked through rows upon rows of apple trees. He walked around for what felt like an hour, listening and looking. He eventually made his way toward a small hill and looked out on the expansive farm. There were trees as far as the eye could see, the farmhouse, and the barn. Miles away, he could see the houses in town, see lights shine out through windows. What he didn’t see was a yellow vampire horse woman.

I prefer FlutterBat anyway

“Alright. I got my muffin. I got my flare. I got these clothes. Time to go ahead and save the day I guess. God… I better not get eaten tonight. I got a dart tournament this weekend…”

Great to see that your priorities are in order!

It's Morbin time

“Get off me… stupid… YOU’RE NOT A REAL GODDAMN VAMPIRE! YOU’RE A PEGASUS THAT’S SCARED OF THUNDERSTORMS FOR FUCKS SAKE! STOP BITING ME!”

I snorted a painful amount of air on that one so thanks for that XD

Anon grabbed onto the tasteful knocker and slammed it against the door three times, each heavy, dull thud echoing into the night.

Anon looked down at the desperate mare. He was no master tactician, but he couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t the best of ideas. Why not leave traps around down? Maybe a bunch of nets, or a few cages with apples in them? At the very least, he would have liked some sort of backup.

or at least a Kevlar turtleneck

The second he heard the hiss, something in him snapped. He remembered something that his old man used to tell him when he was very young. Do unto others as they would do you, but really give them the business if they try to screw you over. She wanted to pretend to be a knock-off Dracula and bite him? He’d show her how it felt.

Instead of a radioactive spider biting you, you bit the spider instead. Now you're Man-Spider

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hes called Spiders-Man in the comics.