• Member Since 31st Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Saturday

Oceansama


A writer and lover of Sci-fi

T
Source

The Kingdom of Equestria is world-renowned for its teachings of peace, harmony, and friendship. Whole schools were built on these principles, to spread the message to all races in every corner of the globe. Yet, how could Equestria hope to teach peace and friendship to a species that had once been driven to the edge of extinction by pony hooves?

The Terran Nation has spent the last three millennia living in fear of the ponies and of all other races. Paranoid and alone, their reality is a never-ending cold war. One that exists only in their own minds as the rest of the world had almost forgotten them. 

After a sudden and quick war with the cat-like Abyssians, the Terrans have grown bold and decided that the time to re-establish themselves on the world stage has arrived. To determine if Equestria is still a threat to them, they've sent one of their best mages to integrate into pony society. To talk, to spy, and to report back on possible weaknesses in Equestria's defenses.

Whether through peace or war, the Terrans vow to never allow pony hooves to tread on them again.


Equestria Girls and the IDW comics are not canon.

For this story, I have drawn a lot of inspiration from many different genres and sources such as sci-fi, fantasy, anime, books, etc. However, this is an original story and not a crossover.

Cover image is from the Undertale AU "Underplayer." It is a temporary image, but I found it quite fitting for the main protagonist if a little misleading.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 38 )
TR

Is this an actually the story that involves player?

It’ll be interesting to see what happens. I’d imagine Celestia and Luna would either know of the human “extermination” or possibly had persecuted it themselves.

This is a really good first chapter! Felt like it told just enough to make me want to know more without being overly expository.
Paragraph 5 seemed to have part of a sentence missing, like you forgot to re-type something removed in editing. Other than that there were no glaring issues (outside of perhaps rewording a few things to flow better).
Liked and followed. Hope to see more of this.

11189822
A part of me is hoping that they don’t, since it’s canon that Celestia herself is only a little over eleven thousand. That, and I've seen and read many times of different author’s stories that the sisters are something like, over three thousand and such; so I’m kind of hoping for something fresh :twilightsheepish:

They shouldn't know about the Terran if they’ve been in hiding for three thousand years. Maybe the Royal Sisters know about sightings or something, but nothing big I would think.

Maybe the Terrians had some drama from any alicorns from before Celly and Lulu! :pinkiegasp: Or maybe none at all and just had fights with the early-early pony tribes. But that’s just my thoughts :twilightsheepish:

A promising start.

11189891
Thank you for pointing that error out. It has been corrected.

Now this is the kinda shit I can't wait for more of XD

11190034
Something along the lines of the Terrans being the original inhabitants of the lands that now make up Equestria and they were pushed out by the three tribes migration?

11190205
Ohh, now that could be something! Nice thinking :yay:

Reading this kinda got me thinking of something like Saga of Tanya The Evil, but in more modern tech or something. Gonna be cool seeing what kinda magic spelly spells our little protag gonna do.

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

The character in this cover gives me really strong 'Chara' vibes.

11190528
Underplayer is a massively underrated fan AU. Its comic series was really good and the character was a lot of fun. "Player" as their know as is amazing and wholesome.

Pity this story isn't about them

11190599
I agree, "Player" is an amazing character, and inspired me when creating Aurie. However, like I pointed out in the story description, the cover image is temporary until I find, or create, something better.

i wonder why the cats went to war or caused the red Christmas? suspicious how they found them and probably has plans then just serious criminal activity maybe they where hoping to find a weak underground race for slavery? or profit off sacking the city?

minitours remember? i wonder if terrans are the oldest humanoid race the first where other humanoids branch off from or did magic mutant some human to new species?

While I don’t necessarily believe this is the case, it’s interesting to think that these humans that live underground were the remnants of a mostly forgotten civilization from nearly three thousand years ago. What do I mean about that? I meant that Equestria/Equus was Earth and this is what happened after the Conversion Bureau or some similar event wiped out most of humanity.

Hmm... this might be worth watching. Continue, author.

Though the contraceptives are puzzling to say the least. I would think that there is far too much genetic difference for such things to be even an afterthought, much less a valid concern.

Aurie just stood there, tapping her tipped prosthetics in time with the seconds. Mentally she

I spotted an error. The sentence cuts off there.

Great chapter.

11195666
Good eye, and it's been fixed.
Thank you.

11195668

Aurie just stood there, tapping her tipped prosthetics in time with the seconds. Mentally she'd checked out until some interesting happened.

I think it would be better to use 'something' instead of 'some'.

11195670

:facehoof: You're right again, I suck at proofreading.
Now it should be fixed.

The uncertainty on his face that he shit of what was going on.

This sentence makes no sense. You might want to edit before you post.

Other than that, wow. Dark world. I am surprised that Aurie was willing to so quickly consider fucking a different species. Seems a bit strange seeing as her species hasn't had much in the way of friendly interaction with other species frequently.

Oh, and fair warning: I'm about as blunt as a baseball bat and about as subtle as a flash-bang.

11195677
Got it.
I meant to say that 'he was unsure of what was going on.'

11195672
You can use google docs or microsoft word for proofreading at a basic level or maybe grammarly

11195683
I do, but things still sneak by. No computer algorithm will defeat human eyes.

Aurelia's fist clenched and then twisted; the pony's neck gave a sickening crunch as the mare's head rotated at an unnatural angle. The corpse was then sent smashing into the wall.

a metal slug popped the pegasus' head like an overripe cherry, leaving the body to drop like wet cement.

So, would this story now qualify for the Death tag with the inclusion of these lines?
(Skimming over the rules I think you're skirting the edge of a Mature gore rating also? Author discretion I guess. /shrug.)

All that aside, still really good stuff here! Eagerly awaiting more.

11195708
You know, I suppose you're technically correct. I did overdo it a bit with those lines. Part of me wants to say screw it as I did go into this wanting to write a dark and violent adventure.

I don't want to apply the mature tag since it'll limit my audience, but I've updated the story with the death tag to compensate.

Wow, I gotta say, this is so far a fantastic read! Very amazing for a currently three-chapter tale. I'm very delighted to say that this story is one that is already sucking me in. Especially since I binged it with classical piano music in the background. Who doesn't love literature that beautiful? :yay:

Can't wait for that the next chapter! :heart:

Shamelessly stealing from one of my favorite show i see. She fits that character.

11195985
I did it; guilty as charged.

Though consider this, is she telling the truth or spinning tall tales? I think by now I've established that Aurie is a mage of considerable talent, but she is also a liar, a killer, and that she is not alright in the head.

Still, I guess I should rewrite some of it, to move away from such an obvious borrow.

My theory is; that it is very likely that that filly has nightmares of what she saw, that she is an orphan or that she lives on the street does not mean that Luna does not watch over her dreams (* that if we do not add the canon that she protects the bat-ponies), and Luna seeing a Terran (Aurie) will know that there is something to worry about, in a nutshell.......


Luna + little bat-pony filly + nightmare in which there is a Terran killing ponies = SISTER!!!!!! They have returned

That's my theory, I have no proof, but no doubts either

"His leg here, the broken one, you can see the bruise just above the hoof, where the fur is thinnest. It tells us the perp had hands. Four fingers and a thumb, no lacerations, which suggest a minotaur or a dragon with a manicure had grabbed him."

How does a bruise indicate the number of fingers the perpetrator had or even if they had a hand? Bruises are just damaged blood vessels under the skin so i really don't see how they could have gotten such an strong indication on what exactly caused the bruise, manicures and all

Perhaps fingernail marks would work better?

But otherwise, i have no other criticism for this chapter.
I do love the change of perspective to a police investigator/detective as it does show that there is a subsequent reaction to the actions of the main character which some authors tend to skim over

"The sister princesses are retired now and no creature knows where they are now."

Well then twilight is a very shitty princess then, just earlier 2 mares were kidnapped(or left because of the risk of being kidnapped) and 4 stallions were murdered.
Equestria is such a wonderland

11237059
I know that Equestria is portrayed as a harmonic oasis. But if you look beneath the surface, there is darkness. Even the TV show hinted at this.
For example, the first time we meet Starlight Glimmer she runs a very Orwellian '1984' style cult. Maybe she isn't outright evil, but her ideas are dangerous. Obviously, Hasbro couldn't delve deeper into this, but the fan base sure did.

I can tell this is heavily based off that one expanse scene xD.

I'm sorry, when will the sequel?

Well, that was one heck of a ride! I am looking forward to more chapters of this fanfic.

11220166
I think bruises tell so much because of the fact that not many creatures can make them. Griffins would leave claw marks, ponies would leave a single bruise in like a circle shape, and there is only one creature with the necessary appendages to make a bruise that goes around the hoof, as it would be if it were grabbed by the only creature that they know can make bruises like that. I still dont understand how they came up with the number of fingers since minotaurs and dragons have four, but i think thats just a mistake.

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