93’s shadow falls on the duo of griffons engrossed in a chess match, making them look up when the shadow doesn’t move again. With a winning smile, 93 nods to 99526 who unrolls a small package made of large leaves and goop that it’s been holding under its foreleg, revealing the set of freshly made chess pieces. One entire side is made of simple green goop while the other has grains of sand scattered over them as a distinction.
This finally draws the griffons’ interest and one reaches out to pick a piece, upon which 93 clears her throat with a smirk.
“Nu-uh. Not for free,” she says, which makes the griffon frown and withdraw.
“You might have missed it, Missy,” grumbles one griffon, “But everything we had sunk with the ship. Until the Celestial Seas Cruises gets the insurance payout we’re pretty dry.”
“No, really? I didn’t know!” 93 gasps in a sarcastic surprise, rolling her eyes, “Seriously, catbirds, you wanna play with a real set and teach a newbie instead of repeating ‘rock takes leaf’ ad nauseam?”
The griffons exchange looks before one of them sweeps the makeshift ‘pieces’ away and redraws the grid in the sand.
“Let’s call it a draw,” he says.
“Pffff, sure,” sneers the other, “Bughorse here saved your ass.”
“We’ll see about that. So where do we even start?” the first one chuckles before taking 99526’s package, this time without being stopped, and begins filling the grid with the pieces, “Chess has always been the game of kings. Sometimes it’s even been used to settle wars and disputes between griffon families without bloodshed. Fathers would train their sons in both tactical warfare, swordplay, and chess-”
99526 plops its butt into the sand, observes, and eventually gets an idea.
***
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Shining Armor shoots yet another suspicious glance to a group of drones who have so far successfully managed to build Cadance a complete beach umbrella, a small table, and a deckchair from sticks, goop, and jungle leaves based on 10013’s and 65536’s earlier experiment with Chrysalis, much to the confusion of other cruise guests. Now they’re resting around in the sun, enjoying the flow of love from Cadance nourishing them, “Not feeling weak, tired, or anything?”
“Honeyyy, we’ve been over this. Four times so far, actually,” Cadance smiles at him in yet another attempt to comfort him, “They’re not even draining me, I’m just radiating and they’re eating it. It’s sort of fun to watch, actually, but I doubt anyone here could see what I see using magic,” she glances at 20100 who kicks its hind leg as its ears twitch, “Heh, nom!”
“Fine,” Shining Armor sighs, “Just… be careful, okay? If you feel anything out of place- nnngh?!” he almost swallows his tongue when, as one, every single surrounding drone raises its head and they all look in the same direction towards the jungle without any audible communication or prompt.
“Whoah!” Cadance blinks in surprise as well.
“Thank you for the love, food princess!” 10013 stands up, waves at her with a look back and a smile.
One moment later, all drones are gone, obscured by the other guests.
“Creepy! I told you they were creepy!” the unicorn huffs.
“Shiny…” Cadance rolls her eyes.
“I have to see where those weirdos ran off!” Shining runs off.
Following the nefarious black menace, the Emperor of the Crystal Empire tracks the drones down towards the edge of the jungle and to a duo of griffons playing a match of chess with a bigger, female changeling unknown to Shining.
One of the griffons who is sitting by the changeling’s side says:
“I see two viable options here. Either you can secure a position with your Queen or you can just take his rook with your pawn.”
“What if I use my bishop to threaten the King?” asks 93.
“If you have a strategy for when he starts moving the King to a covered position, go for it, but I can’t see any long-term benefit.”
93 hums to herself before picking the pointed out pawn and taking the rook.
“Pawn takes rook,” she says.
“Gasp!” 99111 leans over, “How? But that rook thingy was so big? How can a tiny pawn take it out?”
“What… do you mean?” asks one of the griffon, clearly taken aback by the reaction.
“There’s no way a big guy like that wouldn’t just squish the tiny pawn,” adds 10013 in the way of explanation.
“That’s what the rules of the game say,” the griffon replies, still unsure what’s going on.
“That makes no sense,” 36658 shakes its head.
“Totally unrealistic,” 20100 nods, “The big guy could just smack the small one just like 10013 said.”
“Be quiet!” 93 raises her voice a little, “That’s how the rules of the game work, take it or leave it. Preferably leave it and let me concentrate.”
“...awww…” mumbles 20100, hanging its head.
Watching the drones tilt their heads as smaller pieces take the bigger pieces with visible confusion in their eyes, Shining Armor can’t help himself feel for them. After all, this hits too close to home, although no one but Twilight and Cadance know and, if Shining has his way, it will stay that way. He wasn’t too stupid to be good at chess, his tactical talent just lay elsewhere as he learned later in his youth.
He walks over to the nearest drone which happens to be 20100, taps its side, and asks quietly:
“Would you like to try a game system which simulates real strategy much better and, more importantly, makes sense?”
“Big guy eats small guy?” whispers 36658, peeking over 20100’s shoulder.
Shining nods. Some whispering between drones later, they all scoot over to Shining who stands up and leads them a short distance away. On the way, he keeps levitating up small rocks, leaves, and pieces of wood for no reason the drones can make out. After finding an unoccupied shady spot, Shining sits down and starts putting the gathered bits and bobs floating around him on the sand and moving them around to form dunes and shallow holes.
“This,” he beams when he seems to be done, “Will be our battle arena.”
10013 furrows its brows.
“I don’t think we can all fit in there. Maybe if we stood on each other and you squeezed-”
“Not us!” Shining rolls his eyes, “We are the generals commanding the battle just like your changeling friend and the griffons commanded their chess pieces.”
“Ohhhh!” 10013 nods, “That makes way more sense.”
“We’re going to need some pieces representing our forces. I have no idea where those griffons got the chess set-”
“93 and I made those!” 99526 beams proudly, “All from my goop. Took us close to two hours but 93 said we did a good job and gave me a point.”
“With that level of detail?” Shining blinks in surprise, “That’s amazing.”
“Hee hee hee,” 99526 giggles proudly.
“Anyway, it would be nice if we had something like that so that I could show you how this game works but some sticks and rocks will suffice. We can use rocks to represent bigger units and sticks for the smaller ones.”
“Is goop bad or something? We can always just use bigger and smaller globs,” offers 99526, spitting out a glob, blowing on it to dry out faster, and then presenting it to Shining who forces himself to take it without wincing.
It’s okay, Shining. It feels just like gummy candy. Don’t think about where it came from. DON’T!
“I think we could use these. Can you make like… five of these and one bigger one? Just for a demonstration,” a short moment later, the blobs are ready and Shining positions them in the arena, “Now all we need is dice,” he reaches to a saddlebag on his belt and pulls out a pair, “I always keep my lucky pair on me. This game is better played with a whole bunch of them but these two will suffice for now. Are you ready for your tutorial of Battlemace 50 million?”
“That’s such a huge number!” replies 99380, which Shining takes as an affirmative.
“So, imagine the small blobs are you and the big one is me and we’re enemies. You’re starting off hidden in these craters which count as cover while I’m out in the open. Your goal is to eliminate my piece and vice versa.”
“What’s that versus vice thingy?” asks 10013.
”That means my goal is to eliminate your pieces too. First, we figure out who starts, okay?”
“How do we do that?”
“Dice! Everything is solved with dice in this game,” Shining presents a die in his hoof, “Do you want an odd or even number?”
10013 examines the die.
“Can I have 2, 3, and 9 with the line? Those feel kinda odd.”
“No no no,” Shining shakes its head, “Odd numbers - numbers that can't be divided by two. Even - those that can.”
“Ohhh, sorry. Odd then,” 10013 nods after a moment of counting on its hooves, “My rank is made of those.”
“Alright,” Shining puts his hooves together and shakes them, making the die roll between the frogs and bounce audibly off of the keratin.
“Let’s play some Scufflestick Big Number!” cheers 99380 excitedly.
Shining throws the die into the air where it spins until it drops, showing 2.
“Aww, I lose,” 10013 pouts, “Good game. I liked the part where that die thingy spun a lot.”
“That’s just the beginning. I told you this only means I go first.”
“Oh!” 10013’s ears perk up.
“So, I want to charge towards the closest of your pieces, right? Let’s say that my piece is a unicorn who can only levitate a sword and fight up close,” Shining pauses, “If I’m going too fast, just say so and I can clear up the rules.”
“No no,” 10013 shakes its head, “A big unicorn with a floaty slashy is running at us. We, uhh, run away?”
“It’s not your turn yet. You can imagine it working as if both turns were happening vaguely at the same time but you took a little longer to react.”
“Makes sense,” 10013 nods.
“Now we need to figure out if I can get to you. I wish we had a ruler to measure the distance between our pieces accurately. This game is a lot about numbers. Looks vaguely like three standard hooves. The usual BM translation for a small-size map is three hooves per die,” Shining takes the dice and says before rolling, “That means I have to roll over six using these two dice. Are you still with me?”
“We’re all still here,” nods 10013, “Except for Smiley, but we can show the game to it later.”
“No, I mean- am I explaining this clearly enough? There are a ton of numerical stats or rules but I’m trying to explain the basics.”
“Yup,” 10013 nods, watching the dice land in the sand, “That’s seven, so your blob makes it to mine.”
“Mhm,” Shining moves his blob and makes it touch 10013’s, “Now we’re engaged in melee combat, which means others either have to join us or they can’t use projectiles, magical or otherwise, to help either side.”
“Meep!” 10013 winces.
“Next, regarding melee combat,” Shining takes the dice again, “Each model- ehh, blob has a certain amount of hit points which signify how much damage it can take before it’s dead-”
*...wibble…*
“-before it can’t fight anymore,” Shining corrects himself when met with the sad looks the drones cast towards the smaller ‘combat’ blob, “Big units usually have a lot more than small ones, and the stats are normally written down in a rulebook. Unfortunately, mine sank along with the ship so let’s just make up something sensible. So, let’s say, my unicorn warrior has 6 hit points and 3 armor while your drones have 2 hit points and 1 armor, right? My unicorn against five drones,” Shining hums to himself, “Let’s not bother with attack types and so on, my unicorn just attacks your drone in general.”
“Can I run now?” asks 10013.
“No, every unit has a movement action and an attack action. So, let's say my unicorn is a warrior and can hit if I roll 4 or higher. You drones will need to roll 5 or 6 to hit. Aaaand I can do 1 to 3 damage, just so that we have some spread for funsies. Okay?”
“I remember all the numbers!” beams 99380, “And the guys can tap into me no problem to read them.”
“Good,” Shining nods, “So I roll one die per attack, which I only have one, aaaand… I roll 5, so I hit.”
“Oh no. My drone blob!” 10013 leans closer and pokes its blob, “So how much damage does it take?”
“Not yet,” Shining shakes his head, “As I said, you have 1 armor, so if you roll against my attack and roll 6, my attack bounces off of your armor and fails to wound you. Go on, roll,” he offers 10013 his die which the drone takes with shaking hooves.
“Awww, 3.”
“Okay, so I succeeded in wounding you. Let’s see how badly. How do we split 1 to 3 damage so that it’s equal using a six-sided die?”
“Two numbers - one wound?” 10013 hazards a guess.
“Exactly!” Shining smiles, completely lost in nerding out with the drones and having forgotten anything regarding ‘the dark menace’. He rolls 5, reaches for the small blob, and moves it next to the board, “And gone, you lost a unit, I don’t have any more moves to make, and your turn begins. You have weaker units but more of them, so you can still overwhelm me with some luck.”
“We run,” decides 10013, brow furrowed, “We already lost one, so the best we can do is save whoever we can. What do I need to roll to charge away?”
Shining sighs.
“Oookay, let’s take a step back and talk about objectives and victory conditions first-”
Shining is going to end up explaining to the Drones the concept of 'Strength in Numbers' and 'Flanking Bonuses'... and this is going to be a hotly debated topic among the drones because of their natural cowardliness.
After all, swarming is a highly effective tactic to employ... but since the drones actually value their lives it's going to be difficult to convince them that it's a viable tactic.
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Also the cramped tunnels, combined with the fact that most everything that tries to kill them also uses swarming tactics.
Honestly the best offence the drones have is what 65536 used to pop Luna's doors open in the beginning of "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE." Maximum reinforcement, and then fire themselves from a cannon made of other drones.
Dronetron Prime.
"Odd numbers - numbers that can be divided by two. Even - those that can’t.”
I'd argue that your even numbers are odd. ;)
You have it backwards. Evens can be divided by two, but odds can't.
Intresting where Shining went with 50M insted of OnO, given the Alchemist class in the Waysearcher variation would fit nicely with drone goop amongst other classes?
Its time for SingalongaPinkie. Now, which drones have their cupcake candles?
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I'm quite certain Shining would have gone with O&O... if all the rulebooks, paper and specialized dice hadn't also sunk with the ship. I do miss my old microgames like Car Wars (Cart Wars, Battlewagons?) and Ogre (Ogre, heh).
On a side note, Checkers would be an easy game to create on a deserted island; only two types of game pieces and a checkered board. Cornhole, Horseshoes, Lawn Darts, and Frisbee are more games that wouldn't need complex pieces or rules. Although Frisbee is more a game of fetch when no one can throw it well as it careens wildly into bushes and elsewhere.
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Gievn you can get a Golf Ball D100, I was hoping for traveling they did a D120 version as it coveres pretty much all the variations you need?
Oh sure, they're the weirdos here.
He's either talking about O&O or tactical planning wargames. Preferably the latter, as that would actually fit the implied realism he's claiming.
Meeehhh, turn-based gameplay. I thought you said this would be realistic, Shiny!
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So basically every game of Frisbee I've ever played. Got it.
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Everyone's a boss until a horde of 36658's High Scorist religious fanatics come charging, filled up with nitroglycerin goop.
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Let's not give Chrysalis any more body horror or changeling fusion ideas. Silents were enough.
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Operation "even the odds" successful!
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Couple of reasons: 1) I'm only familiar with DnD 2.5E to any greater detail. I did finish P:Kingmaker and am now playing Solasta, but I wouldn't be able to make it involved enough. 2) Making a DnD campaign requires imagination and imagination is based on varied experience, which drones don'T have atm. 40k, once you have the baseline background or even a stat codex, you can just play even if you know nothing else or strategy. 3) You have to think about what prompted SA teaching the simplified variant of the game - it was chess, an "army strategy game". 4) Shining did manage to save only his lucky dice in a saddlebag.
I dread to ask what sort of a game "Cornhole" is, because after googling without a safe search I have some undronelike ideas.
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- nerd horse and nerd lings nerd out.
- I was hoping the chess prompt would make this absolutely clear. On the other hand, a new idea - RPG chess! Pawns level up by killing other pawns and eventually have to get enough XP to kill the opposing king.
- Drones are very familiar with the concept of not moving until a high rank says so.
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If they wanted ultimate realism, they could've made soft goop swords and armor and just did LARP
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LOL, yeah, I dunno what the South was thinking when they name it Cornhole. But at its most basic, two slightly angled poster-sized boards with a 6-inch hole in them, placed a distance apart. The beanbags you toss are about fist-sized. Stand by one board and try to toss the bag in the other board's hole— a game of dexterity that can be absolutely frustrating (even when sober).
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And let's be honest--Shining has totally LARPed before too.
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Considering how they performed during the wedding, you might as well call the whole royal guard "Celestia's LARP Guild"
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- Yes, Shining is a massive tabletop and LARPing fan. I hinted at that not only in this story. It's canon. He played everything and does it to this day. Cadance approves and gets a spa day.
Minis! We're calling it "Miniatures"! *nerd mode on*